Guest D***el B***e Report post Posted November 21, 2014 DB , I know I'm still relatively new here but I think you answered your own question about "friends" on cerb. I think the anonymous nature means there are no real friends. There are great sources of information and for the ladies we do meet then I think in some cases a friendship can form. Otherwise that's a business transaction. Just my opinion. Interesting thread Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Irina Adler 5376 Report post Posted November 21, 2014 DB , I know I'm still relatively new here but I think you answered your own question about "friends" on cerb. I think the anonymous nature means there are no real friends. There are great sources of information and for the ladies we do meet then I think in some cases a friendship can form. Otherwise that's a business transaction. Just my opinion. Interesting thread I entirely disagree. I came to CERB at a time in my life when I felt very isolated and empty. I had always been curious about this business, but the stigma made me believe I was crazy for having such thoughts. It is only through CERB that I discovered the amazing men and women that I am now so proud to call my friends. I have met gentlemen who have taught me a great deal about life, their various careers, their interests, their loves, their sorrows, and their dreams. These men have admired me, complimented me, comforted me, and helped me to discover a new beauty and courage within myself. Some have passed into my life for but a fleeting moment, while others remain close companions. The women here have been some of my greatest inspirations. Any of you who have seen me at socials know how giddy I get when introduced to some of popular CERB ladies. I have such tremendous respect for them and their accomplishments. The friends I have made here are the ones whose opinions I value most! CERB is like anything else, you get what you put in. If you are looking for true, genuine intimacy, you will find friendship and love, as we have all seen on the thread of one of our dearly beloved members who is now facing some very difficult health complications- our hearts go out to you! If you are looking for just business, you can find that too. To each their own. 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Triple HHH 12345 Report post Posted November 21, 2014 I totally agree with Irina for me I have met some great ladies over the past two years, I have had the pleasure of repeating with certain ones quite often since I have met them the first time. I feel quite confident in saying that we will be very special friends to for a long time, I guess the biggest factor for both is we know it is a special friendship outside both our normal lives and both parties can accept it as just that. The fact I am in the older category could be one of the reasons why I find it very easy to have friendships here. I really feel the biggest factor for that special friendship to happen is both parties have to feel the trust in each other, I try very hard to establish this from my very first contact with whoever I am looking to visit. I can say this much having my special friendships here sure makes me a much happier and more contented person in my normal life. Now that I have my visiting pretty well over for 2014 the ones I now consider my special friends are the ones I will be trying to see in the future. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lester 846 Report post Posted November 21, 2014 I did say that friendship can develop with the ladies as there is genuine interactions. Not always but generally yes I think with the ladies that is common. With the other guys I am finding out now how shitty and messy this site gets. I will limit my interaction to the ladies of cerb from now on. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kate von Katz 49953 Report post Posted November 21, 2014 I think we all have our own finer points and shades of grey when it comes time to what we consider a friend vs an acquaintance. Some may view members of Lyla as friends, others as acquaintances. I think it's splitting hairs, myself. What really matters is that we're a supportive group of individuals who generally care about each others' well-being. And that's enough for me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest D***el B***e Report post Posted November 21, 2014 DB , I know I'm still relatively new here but I think you answered your own question about "friends" on cerb. I think the anonymous nature means there are no real friends. There are great sources of information and for the ladies we do meet then I think in some cases a friendship can form. Otherwise that's a business transaction. Just my opinion. Interesting thread I don't quite agree. I've met a small number of ladies here and have developed what one could call deep and trustworthy frienship. It's easier to develop friendships once you've met at least once or twice and find the right chemistry. The tough part is developing friendship with someone you've never met, which happens in our case between hobbyists (unless of course you attend the Socials). I've come to know many hobbyists, whom I trust and would never wish them harm. I respect their opinion and have developed a 'virtual' bond with them. We either share similarities in life, in our struggles, in our reasons for being here, and in the connection betwen replies to our posts. I can only go on the "vibes' I get when I read a post, the exchange back and forth, and the tone of the reply. I'm not perfect myself, I admit I may have been rude at times (sometimes out of frustration), I've ruffled a few feathers, but in the end I believe that, yes indeed, you can develop friendship under the cloak of privacy. If I get one "thanks" out of this post .... there's my friend!!! lol lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78407 Report post Posted November 21, 2014 Friendship and CERB is actually something I have spent a considerable amount of time considering and there have been other threads asking for opinions on if a client and a CERB lady could be real friends. To be honest I have found this whole topic to be very challenging.... I have always felt that of course it is possible for a client and a lady to be both friends and maintain a business relationship. After all I maintain a balance that is similar with many of my friends (yes I know I am not intimate with them) but some friends are co-workers or people who report to me at work, some are business colleagues... in all of these cases I am able to separate the business or work aspects from the friendship elements with no major issues so why should this be any different. But I think I am starting to realize it just may be. Now don't get me wrong I still think there can be a friendship I just think it is a lot harder than I thought but you know nothing in life is easy that is worthwhile and the friendships I have developed as a result of my involvement in the industry have been very worthwhile to me. I have also come to learn that you can only offer your friendship you can't make someone be your friend and you can't impose your idea of what friendship should look like on others. All you control is your actions and how you treat the people you consider your friends some people will take advantage of the friendship you offer... some will disappoint you and treat you badly but that's no different than real life. If you open yourself up to friendship even with all its inherent risks then you open yourself up to the possibility of amazing connections with amazing people... for me it has been worth the effort I hope it has been for them as well. The 10 points listed by the OP all ring true to me. Just my Opinion 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted November 22, 2014 "True friendship - what does it mean?" For me within the context of the game it's pretty simple, friendly perhaps but not "true" friends and after all business is business and this is a business. Peace MG 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peacectryguy 12547 Report post Posted November 22, 2014 I don't know if the term "true friendship" can be completely quantified. I mean, I've had friends come and go my entire life and it doesn't seem to matter whether they have been in a personal contact or on-line or whatever. I guess I'm the kind of guy who just can't form that bond that most people consider true. Probably why my marriage failed. I don't open up about my feelings much. I've always been very solitary and will always be that way. As for this site and other forum boards, I think I can honestly say, I've developed a certain friendship aspect and the anonimity means nothing to me along those lines. I've chatted with people on-line for years and have found that we can converse and develop friendships without ever meeting face to face. Some last, some don't so I don't know if one can call that "true". I only know that I find myself closer to being friends with people out here in these forums then anyone in my personal life. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest *Ste***cque** Report post Posted November 22, 2014 In the Internet age "Friends" has taken on additional meaning for many. Facebook friends comes quickly to mind... all 300 of them. Lol I enjoy reading posts on here and having discussions online and have thought several of you would be great to have as friends. I have even been tempted to reach out to some but in the end I like to keep separate this aspect of my life. For me, in order to consider you a "friend" as I define it, I need the face to face component and shared, "offline" experiences. That's a much richer experience, although I don't discount the interactions that happen here. I liken it to being married to someone you never see. It could work and you can have great, meaningful discussions but the virtual version is not as good as in person. I like to think of many of you on here as acquaintances or CERB friends but not "real" friends like I do for the people I grew up with or see on a regular basis. Now, if we ever met in person i would probably be proud to call you good friends given how interesting and likeable many of you are on here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DarksideHobbyist 1883 Report post Posted November 23, 2014 I enjoy reading posts on here and having discussions online and have thought several of you would be great to have as friends. I have even been tempted to reach out to some but in the end I like to keep separate this aspect of my life. For me, in order to consider you a "friend" as I define it, I need the face to face component and shared, "offline" experiences. That's a much richer experience, although I don't discount the interactions that happen here. I liken it to being married to someone you never see. It could work and you can have great, meaningful discussions but the virtual version is not as good as in person. QUOTE] couldn't have said it better myself 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest D***el B***e Report post Posted November 23, 2014 I enjoy reading posts on here and having discussions online and have thought several of you would be great to have as friends. I have even been tempted to reach out to some but in the end I like to keep separate this aspect of my life. For me, in order to consider you a "friend" as I define it, I need the face to face component and shared, "offline" experiences. That's a much richer experience, although I don't discount the interactions that happen here. I liken it to being married to someone you never see. It could work and you can have great, meaningful discussions but the virtual version is not as good as in person. QUOTE] couldn't have said it better myself Thank you everyone for all your thoughtful comments. I think the last two posts sum it all up ... Friends on the surface ... but only until we meet! ... I agree the face-to-face is very important but acquaintances can be built to a certain level. Bottom line ... you're the judge of who you trust and who you open up to. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted November 23, 2014 Personally I keep very few actual friends, though I am very close with them, I don't want a large circle of friends. Now I do have countless acquaintances whom I do enjoy seeing, but have no desire to allow deeper in to my personal life. As for cyber friendship, that has zero meaning to me. It's artificial, not real and slightly frightening in my opinion. It just shows how disconnected we've become due to technology taking over our lives. I would much have a small group of real friends, verses a large group of cyber friends. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nicolette Vaughn 294340 Report post Posted November 24, 2014 True friendship is give and take ( not one sided) accepting all their flaws and quirks along with their bullshit once in a while but there are limits and true friends will respect them. I have two good friends. The rest are conditional and some are fair weather types. I keep to myself a lot so I'm not much of a socializing type person and I don't believe in social media. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest D***el B***e Report post Posted November 24, 2014 ...My mistake was that me I am not competitive and naively thought that there is room for everybody... Yup! totally get it. Same story here. I'm starting to question the motives behind some of the 'friends' I meet. Maybe I'm too naive as well. Oh well, maybe it's easier to call them unproven acquaintances. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
star99 4852 Report post Posted November 24, 2014 ive made a lot of new friends on here, and basically only had one on here that I don't keep in contact with anymore. I thought we were friends, but it didn't work out over time. it got to personal, and way to much drama. it is hard to keep friendships (no matter where you meet them), but here its more like a "business friendship", us hobbyist are paying for the ladies spending time with us. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest jake_cdn Report post Posted December 2, 2014 True friendship is not measured by being together but the durability of the friendship when life gets in the way and makes it impossible to be together. There is nothing like knowing there is someone, somewhere who has your back and whose friendship is NEVER questioned. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78407 Report post Posted December 2, 2014 True friendship is not measured by being together but the durability of the friendship when life gets in the way and makes it impossible to be together. There is nothing like knowing there is someone, somewhere who has your back and whose friendship is NEVER questioned. I think you certainly have captured the essence of what true friendship is but I also think we need to keep in mind that even in the case of strong friendships there will be misunderstanding and issues... even the strongest of friendships is only as good as the effort you put into it on a regular basis. Just my Opinion 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CristyCurves 169032 Report post Posted December 10, 2014 I take the term very seriously. If I give you my friendship then you have my respect, discretion, support, confidence, help when needed, you'll have all I can give, at any cost, yes any. I don't believe friendship should stop and end when costs are incurred. Friendships come with costs, it's a give and take, sometimes costs are shared, sometimes they are one sided, but when a friend doesn't support you because it may cost them something, then it's my opinion, that person is not a friend-simple:) A friendship is a type of love, it can be complicated, if you make it so. But actually love is simple, it is respect, understanding and being supportive. It is wanting the person you give it too to be happy, to advance in life, to respect you and to want to share in all your struggles and successes and you in theirs. It comes with highs and lows and should stand the test of time-if it's true:) 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites