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I am very klutzy, and have had many "fail moments", but there are 2 that stand out in my mind the most!

 

1. This one happened just after I became an SP. I was renting a room from a friend, and only had a hand me down pull out couch. The client and I had met a couple times before that and he decided this time he wanted to do missionary. We just got going and the frame decided it did not want to be out, and the bed proceeded to go back up into the couch. My client was thrown over the back of the couch, and I was sucked up in the couch. The guy could not stop laughing, he said all he could see was my legs sticking out of the couch.

 

OMG - what a visual I just got!

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Ok.... i got one. Years ago when I very first started erotic dancing. I was back stage, making sure every hair was in place, touching up my lipstick. Giving my self the pep talk...." ok girl get out there and wow them".....so I go on stage. Lookin' fine! The dance was angelical they seemed to be mesmerized! So at the pinnacle of of my performance I drop the unndies. Lay on the floor....spread my legs.....and here hangs this white string glowing in the black lights! OMG!!! Guess I forgot something......

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I was in wpg on business and decided to treat myself to one of cerb,s finest providers we had an incredible session and when it reached its pinnacle i swear i saw stars it was probably the most intense orgasm i have ever experienced , after a while i dressed and still light headed decided to do a little shopping before my 2 hour drive home i was in costko wondering around in a trance still when i bumped into my next door neighbors from home (120 miles away) it was early afternoon and we chatted for a bit then i continued on my way-seconds later my neighbor slipped back to me and asked if i knew i had my shirt on '''inside out and obviously so-whoooops !!

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I'm smaller than average guy and sometimes I enjoy a tall, curvy lady who is ,generally speaking, heavier than me. So I found and set up a rendez-vous with a lady I thought fit the bill. I asked for 2 hours of fun and she obliged. We clicked and had a great first round of fun...but when it came for round 2 I asked her to get on top.

 

She was really getting into it and began to bounce up and down...hard...a little too hard. Next thing I new she came down so hard on one of my boys that I screamed out in pain...the kind of pain only a man knows. This unfortunately left my little soldier at less than full attention and I was not able to finish off the 2nd hour. When I got home I had a bruise, a funny story (that I have never told till now) and thankfully no permanent damage. :D

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Fortunately, I've never suffered and physical damage (smile), but once ... with an agency SP ... well ... we started with a little DATY and there was ... wellllll ... a bad smell. Really bad. Ick. I felt like I was the last guy at the end of a very long line.

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A lady I met at work became close friends with me. We would confide in our personal lives and sort of bonded in a supportive way for each other.

After we both moved to different jobs, we kept in touch, meeting for lunches or dinners.

 

One particular time I had her over for a BBQ, and we enjoyed our usual banter while sipping a favorite red wine. The evening moved on and about 10ish she said, let`s go to a dance club.

 

Off we went and throughout the evening, maybe it was the beat, the closeness and sexual heat on the dance floor, but we kissed, once then again and each time the kiss was longer and deeper.

 

We closed the place down and went back to her place where the rest of the night we pleasured ourselves, almost trying to outdo each other as we moved from one form of gratification to another.

 

So where is the failure. We talked over the next couple of weeks never broaching the subject of our jungle sex session. At our next dinner meeting, she asked what happened after we left the club.

 

Seems what I thought was one of my better performances, turned out to be something she never remembered.

 

So after telling my buddies about this fantastice romp, I had to confess to them, she could not recall our porno experience at all.

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I am actually quite embarassed to admit this one. My guest paid me, and I set the money on the table which was near a candle, but I noted that it was not too close. About 10 minutes into our lapdance, we smelt burning. I checked everything in the room, and even checked the kitchen, and nothing was burning. We continued. 20 minutes in, I noticed from the corner of my eye a huge flame, and I screamed in his ear! It took 20 minutes to finally catch fire, but my money was burning. I grabbed it and ran to the bathroom to run it under water.

 

I took it to the bank and since one serial number was intact, they were able to take it. I felt so bad for my guest, screaming in terror mid-sensual-moment, but we had a good laugh about it after.

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Megan's tale reminded of an experience from years back. I was with a woman. It was a truly marvelous sensual moment. This was back in my "hippy" days when candles were all the rage. We were experiencing the bliss of the moment and I thought to myself "my goodness, she looks positively radiant". Right about then I realized the pillow under her head had caught fire!

 

Let me just say here that there is no buzz-kill quite like incipient incineration!

 

I still occasionally see this person and just about every five years we remember this episode with a laugh.

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I am actually quite embarassed to admit this one. My guest paid me' date=' and I set the money on the table which was near a candle, but I noted that it was not too close. About 10 minutes into our lapdance, we smelt burning. I checked everything in the room, and even checked the kitchen, and nothing was burning. We continued. 20 minutes in, I noticed from the corner of my eye a huge flame, and I screamed in his ear! It took 20 minutes to finally catch fire, but my money was burning. I grabbed it and ran to the bathroom to run it under water.

 

I took it to the bank and since one serial number was intact, they were able to take it. I felt so bad for my guest, screaming in terror mid-sensual-moment, but we had a good laugh about it after.[/quote']

 

Burnt money?

Dog ate it?

Child cut it up into pieces?

 

All isn't lost - check out this story: http://www.cbc.ca/news/story/2010/09/16/f-mutilated-money.html

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