RobX

I also voted for personality. If I could make a comment about the content of the poll, I would like to mention that most reviews are based on 3 criterion of evaluation: Appearance Attitude Service Your poll choices map to these criteria as follows: Appearance: Looks, Ass, Tits, Eyes Attitude: Personality, Conversation Service: Performance It would be interesting to see the relative placement of these 3 main criteria after grouping the poll choices accordingly. P.S. I am not sure whether you did this intentionally or not, in order to have a subliminal effect, but the character set for "personality" is different from all the others. It is the only one in italics. This may have a subliminal effect and influence more people to select this as their choice.

As one who visit MAs, I totally agree. I would add that, even when you are tired, overworked and stressed out, an erotic massage session is excellent for relieving tension, allowing you to feel refreshed afterwards, whereas if you are exhausted and stressed out, it would be better to delay scheduling an SP session until you are in a better frame of mind and body. One of my favorite MAs has a statement on her website which sums up the mood of a massage session very well:

Naomi, I am the OP of this thread. In your post you indicate that my writing style may the reason my emails are not receiving the attention I expect. Since the writing style I use in my emails is no different from that of my original post in this thread, could you point out what specific parts you have noticed in my post that are deficient in the areas you specified - i.e overly long, hard to read, lots of pointless information. If my writing style is indeed the culprit, then I should make the required adjustments. However, it is not obvious to me what parts of my post are deficient in the areas you mention. Could you be more specific. Thanks.

How do SPs generally view email correspondence with clients before, after and between appointments? I have read many posts where SPs have indicated that it is a good idea to communicate one's questions, requests and concerns to an SP prior to an appointment. Others have talked about exchanging fantasies via email to heighten the anticipation of the appointment. SPs have mentioned how important is for them to receive Thank You emails following an appointment. And I have read about SP-clent email exchanges between appointments. However, my experience with emailing MAs and SPs has been somewhat different. In the case of of my first time seeing an SP, she "forgot" that I had told her in my introductory email that this was my first time with an SP. I have emailed an MA who addressed the first point in my email in her reply but ignored everything else I said. I have emailed an MA indicating in both the subject and body of the email that I was requesting a 90-minute appointment on such a day and time, and she replied: Yes, I'm available at that time. How long an appointment would you like? I have thought about asking the MA or SP directly during the appointment if she remembered my email. But that is not such a good idea. If the apppointment is going well, it may put a damper on it. If it is not going well, it may seem confrontational. I have therefore opted to ask the question here. I wonder how much attention SPs and MAs really pay to the emails they receive from clients. Are they so busy that they have only enough time to skim their emails looking for appointment dates and times, ignoring everything else. Or, have I just been unlucky in that the MAs and SPs that I have selected happen to less attentive to their emails than most? I would be interested in the experience and opinions of both providers and clients on this issue.

The idea for this question comes from two sources: 1. It is the other side of the coin to a current thread: "How has being an SP impacted your social life? "(http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=48494) 2. There was a theory proposed on another board to try explain the case of an MA who started off in the business with a GFE attitude, who, for a couple of years became cold and distant during her sessions, but now seems to have returned to being GFE. The theory will become obvious by the question asked below: The question is: Is a provider's ability to provide a GFE experience to her clients affected by whether or not she is currently in a relationship, and how serious that relationship is? Does a provider generally feel more free to provide GFE services while she is not in a relationship, and conversely, does she feel more restrained from providing GFE services to her clients while she is in a serious relationship?

I am the OP of this thread. Your post provides the context for why I felt so bad about having forgotten to pay, even though I immediately gave her the money when she reminded me. When I talked about the degree of sensitivity around the issue of money in the arena of sex work at the beginning of my post, and my fear that she now subconsciously associates me with those clients who may have wronged her in the past, that is what I meant. This is why I felt that my forgetting was not just a simple mistake, but a serious transgression. If I had forgotten to give my lawyer the cheque I had in my pocket, it would not have been a big deal. I would simply call him and drop it of the next day. However, forgetting to hand over the money to a provider, until she reminds you, is a serious transgression precisely because of the context you so aptly described in your post.

To clarify, I did have the fee in my pocket at the time, including the tip, and I gave it to her immediately. She was her usual pleasant self as we said goodbye, but I left thinking that the damage had been done. This just happened on Thursday, and our last contact with her reply to my email, so it's too early to tell whether there has been any lasting damage. It would also be impossible for me to forget to bring the fee. Going to the ATM is part of my ritual before every appointment. I still get nervous before every appointment (I'm not sure if that ever goes away) and I find myself counting the money a few times before I arrive at the door. I have definitely decided to see her again. As for paying when I arrive, she has previously mentioned in her posts that she does not require clients pay her in advance, so I would want to do so in an inconspicuous manner that doesn't make me seem unreliable in any way - ie. having to give it to her in advance in case I forget again. I thought that what I might do is make it a ritual to take the fee out of my pocket when undressing and leave it on her dresser where she can see it. At the end of the session I could pick it up and hand it to her, or just leave it there. This is the type of reply I was most hoping for! Thanks everyone! I do feel better about it now, and am now more confident that we can put it behind us.

My questions are addressed to the ladies. The questions peripherally concern the degree of sensitivity around the issue of money in the arena of sex work. However, more practically, the questions relate to a particular experience of mine. To set the tone, I would like to ask the ladies: How would you feel if a client forgot to pay you? I would ask you to hold on to the feelings that this provokes in you when you answer my questions. Now, on to my particular experience. Recently I had a session with my favorite MA. She is an independent whose fee is an all-inclusive fee, with no other options available. I have seen her four times so far and, I totally adore her. My last lession with her was wonderful, as usual, and as I was about to leave, she asked me if I had left the money in the room. At that moment, I realized that I had forgotten to give her money. At that moment in time, I felt that I had committed the ultimate transgression. I really felt like shxx. The way she whispered the word "money", like it was something both sacred and dirty at the same time, made me feel so guilty for what I had just done. In all the time we had spent together, the word "money" had never been spoken, until now. It made be think of something I read on an SPs website, and which stuck in my mind : "Please don't make me ask for the money!" When I got home I emailed her a long apology. She wrote back that it was all OK and that she knew that I didn't do it on purpose. I believe that she is sincere, but I can't help but think that I have damaged our relationship forever - that subconsciously she nows associates me with those clients who may have wronged her in the past. Therefore, my questions to the ladies are: How would you feel if one of your regulars forgot to pay, and you had to ask him for the money? Would it change you opinion of him? Would it make you trust him less? Would you remember every time you saw him?

This makes perfect sense to me. I would just like to add a couple of qualifiers. Being a very reserved person myself, I would like to mention that sometimes when the client gives one word answers or does not seem very talkative, it may be because he is shy, and not because he is uninterested in conversation. Having said that, I do recognize that is very difficult for an MA to distinguish such situations from cases where the client simply does not want to talk. I'm just saying that sometimes things are not what they seem. Secondly, even though conversation during a session is very important to me, and lack of conversation and connection can ruin a session, I don't mind quiet during the actual massage itself. In fact, I find it very awkward to carry on a conversation when you are facing away from the person you are talking to, as is the case when when you are face down on the massage table. What is important to me is the conversation before starting the massage, and after the flip.

I am a client of MPs, both salons and Indys, in Montreal. It is probably much different here than in Vancouver, but in Montreal massage services run the entire gamut from a massage (standard, thai, nuru, tantric, etc) fully dressed, semi-nude, or nude with standard finish (HJ or Russian finish, sometimes an Italian finish, and rarely a BSTC or pussy slide) on through LFK/DFK, CBJ/BBBJ, DATY, digits and on to FS,CIM,Greek,etc.). While the vast majority of masseuses, both in salons and indys, offer a HJ or Russian finish only, there is a limitless permutation of services available, depending on the individual masseuse's limits. Some offer DATY, but no BJ or kissing. Others offer DFK, but HJ only, some FS, but no DFK, etc. The extra services, including the teasing leading up to the finish, usually only start during the latter part of the massage session, after the turn, except when one is a regular repeat customer, in which case there may be more flexibility in the structuring of the massage session, but this also depends on the individual masseuse. Fee arrangements vary from an hourly rate plus an option rate, depending on the option chosen, on through a fixed all-inclusive rate on to a no-money-discussion policy, with the fee left up to the discretion of the client (usually applies to members-only salons). To me, a GFE massage is one involving at least one (perhaps only DFK), but not necessarily all, of the attributes usually associated with a GFE session with an SP. Good conversation and a connection between the client and the masseuse are also very critical elements of a GFE massage. In Montreal there are very successful MPs, both salons and Indys, at both ends of the service spectrum, as well as in the middle. In fact, what I consider to be the two best very massage places in Montreal are at exact opposite ends of the service spectrum. One thing I should mention is that those MPs, especially Indys, who offer a massage, with a standard finish only, seem to need to repeat this fact constantly on their websites and in their postings, until it becomes almost a mantra, and still they complain about clients who constantly try to obtain services that they do not offer.

Any ideas for tunes, quotations or poem dedications to one's favorite spinner? Here's one: Chickenfoot - "Sexy Little Thing" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6O9mCgEAE4&feature=artist

Wired Magazine article - How Tech Tools Transformed New York's Sex Trade http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/01/ff_sextrade

Question for the Ladies: How does client demographics vary between the different cities in Canada? There was a discussion on another board regarding the differences in client demographics in the various cities in Canada. Some of the conclusions were: The oldest clientele was in Ottawa. The youngest clientele was in the West (Vancouver, Calgary, Edmonton). This was attributed to more rapid economic growth in the West, resulting in a younger workforce and a younger population in general. Toronto and Montreal fell somewhere in the middle in terms of the average age of clients. It was also mentioned that Ottawa was the city with the most polite clientele. This was attributed to Ottawa's diplomatic culture. How does this compare to your experience? Are there other differences you have noticed between your clientele in the various cities? Do you have a preference for the clientele in any particular city?

Little Nadia, my favorite petite masseuse. She is so sweet, sexy, sensual and such a beauty!

I just joined this group. I'm wondering if we can also show our appreciation of our favorite petite MAs in this group?

Nuru massage is currently available in Montreal from a couple of Indy MA's. I imagine that it only a matter of time before it will be available in other places as well.

Do massage providers prefer to see clients who do NOT also see SPs? If an SP would be reluctant to see a client whom she knows engages in unsafe practices - bareback - are massage also providers reluctant to see clients who see SPs who may provide BBBJ and DATY? Or do most providers generally feel that if they offer only safe services they automatically protect themselves from clients who engage in unsafe services with other providers? The reason I ask the question is that I visit certain massage providers who only provide a basic manual release and who often campaign often against the dangers of BBBJ and DATY on another board that I am a member of. I also visit providers who provide the latter services. Would I be better off segregating my discussion of the two type of services on different boards so as not to jeopardize my status as a client of the massage providers providing a manual release only? Obviously, I cannot ask the question directly, so I would like to know what is the general feeling among masseuses with respect to this question.

I think that this question goes to the heart of the one of the major differences between CERB, being a recommendation board and the other boards, which are reviews boards. On the other boards, if a provider has been around awhile and her services are below par, it is likely that there will be negative reviews written on her, which can serve as a warning to potential clients. If the same provider is a member of this board, she is likely to have received no recommendations. Therefore, in the absence of any additional information, it is wise to assume that she is NOT a recommended provider. Of course, if she is on the NRP list, then there will be no recommendations, but that applies to other boards as well. With respect to taking a leap of faith, I think this applies more to those who are the TOFT type of client - those who will choose a provider who advertises on CL and not been reviewed anywhere, But that is not for everyone. After all, one of the major benefits of being a member of a recommendation/review board is to be able to a select a provider who has an established of history of providing good service. And if you are that type of hobbyist, and you are not a member of any other boards, then you would be wise to pass on those providers who have not received any recommendations.

What is appropriate post-sex etiquette with an SP? The motivation for this question comes from one of my recent appointments. After the main act, while we were cuddling together and looking into each other's eyes, she says to me "Say something." If this were to happen in a real-life situation, it would be obvious what she wanted. Depending on the nature of our relationship, it would mean that she wanted me to tell her how much I loved her, how special she was to me, how much I appreciate her, etc. But, what does it mean in this situation when it is an SP saying this? Obviously, the above does not apply because it is not a real-life relationship. It is not a case of her fishing for compliments because she is an experienced provider with a high level of self-confidence, who doesn't need anybody to tell her how beautiful she is or how good she is in bed. It is also not a case of her just trying to make conversation because she is a very personable, outgoing and extroverted person who is an excellent conversationalist. Is it then simply a case of her mimicing a real-life situation as part of the GFE experience she offers, in which case I would be carrying the fantasy too far in imagining otherwise (By this I don't mean to imply that I think that she has feelings for me. I'm just trying to figure out why she needed me to say something at that particular moment). In real-life, I know that it is important for the guy to realize that a women wants and needs cuddling and moments of tenderness after making love. But, what is appropriate post-sex behavior with an SP? I have seen this provider a couple of times so far, and I definitely intend on repeating with her, so I would like to get a handle on appropriate post-sex etiquette with an SP in order to be better able to maintain and enhance the quality of our time together. I would appreciate any insight that anyone can offer regarding this issue.

As an after thought, I would like to mention that I found it interesting that the list of physical body types included in the poll did NOT include the tall blond (the blond part is optional), which at one time was probably the most desirable physical female type preferred by men. This could be the subject of another thread - What ever happened to men's preference for tall blonds?

I have questions regarding bumping based on an actual example from one of my first posts. One of my first posts was a question I asked in the Newbie section. I did not receive any replies. At the time I thought that it was because no one read the Newbie section, and that I should have posted in the General Section. I waited 3 weeks and then searched for answers to my question on some of the other boards, and posted this info in the thread I had started. This essentially bumped my thread, but since it was in the Newbie section, where there are less threads, the thread was only bumped from the 5th thread from the top to the first. However, my intention was not to bump the thread. I didn't even know what bumping was at the time. My purpose, rather, was to add more info in the hope that it would prompt some replies. Following my second post, I immediately received several replies all addressing the info I posted in my second post, essentially taking exception to this info and setting the record straight. The replies did, however, essentially answer the question I had posted originally. My questions, therefore, are: Q1. Does the no bumping rule apply to the Newbie section as well? Q2. Is adding new relevant information to your own thread, in a follow-up post considered bumping? Q3. Is it realistic to expect a newbie to wait 6 months to re-post if he doesn't receive an answer to a basic question?

Oral Sex Linked to Rise in Men's Throat Cancer Studies Show Epidemic That Could Be Stemmed by Cervical Cancer Vaccine Gardasil http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/hpv-oral-cancers-rise-oral-sex-popular-spread/story?id=11916068 By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES ABC News Oct. 20, 2010 For years now, doctors have urged young women to be vaccinated against the human papilloma virus (HPV), which is believed to cause cervical cancer. But now, growing research in Europe and the United States is implicating HPV in a rising number of cases of head and neck cancers in men, and many doctors are recommending that all boys be vaccinated as well. Doctors say that changing sexual behaviors -- earlier sex, more partners and especially oral sex -- are contributing to a new epidemic of orpharyngeal squamous cell cancers, those of the throat, tonsils and base of the tongue. These cancers can be deadly, and are striking men at a younger age and in increasing numbers."There's a lag in information," said Dr. John Deeken, a medical oncologist at Georgetown University. "We physicians have done a poor job of advertising the fact that boys and girls should have the vaccine." ... See link for full story: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/hpv-oral-cancers-rise-oral-sex-popular-spread/story?id=11916068

Personally, the lady's nationality is not relevant at all in deciding whether to meet her or not. However, as others have pointed out, it is relevant as part of the conversation during the appointment. Because of the nature of the client-SP relationship there is already a long enough list of questions that are not appropriate to ask an SP, without adding nationality to the list. One's nationality is an important part of who you are, and refusing to disclose this information severely hinders the possibility of establishing a client-provider connection. Personally, I see mostly MPAs and knowing their nationality is an important part of the conversation. I have seen MPAs of many nationalities - Russian, Moroccan, Colombian, American, Quebecoise, etc, and quite frankly, I believe that, in all cases, if the MPA would have, for some reason refused to disclose or discuss her nationality at all, it would have severely restricted the conversation. For example, the MPA I see most often right now is from Casablanca, Morocco, and just knowing her makes me want to know more about her country of origin, because I think it will help me to get to know her better. Since meeting her I find myself researching info on Morocco, precisely because I am interested in her. So, this is definitely one of the topics of conversation during our time together.

I don't think that the decision, it it stands, will affect the average individual in a negative way. For example, in Montreal, recent citizen mobilization against the industry has centered on street walkers and their presence near schools. If "bawdy houses" were legal and street walkers moved indoors, provided they choose a discrete location, I think that the citizens who live in neighborhoods formerly frequented by SWs would see the change as an improvement in their lives. Also I don't think it will help if "ppl in the sex industry" "make an effort assure the average individual". I believe that the strongest opponents of the sex industry are the religious right, who are opposed on ideological and "moral" grounds. Therefore, too much visible campaigning by sex workers may actually be counter-productive. I think one has to distinguish between what the law allows, and the rigor with which the various police forces decide to enforce the various laws, based on their priorities. For example, here in Montreal incalls do not generally get busted unless some other factor is present - underage girls, street gangs, Hells Angels or other organized crime involvement, drugs, or citizen complaints, which rarely happens. Otherwise, they are generally left alone.

Rather than considering the issue in isolation, I think it might be useful to study the experience of other countries or regions where some form of legalized prostitution already exists - the Netherlands, Nevada, Denmark, France, Mexico, England, Wales, etc. What has been the experience with legalized prostitution in these regions of the world? Are there any models which have been particularly successful and which could easily be applied here? Or are we already well ahead of the rest of the world in this area?