McMonkey

Re the children: I think the potential liability kind of forces you to take some level of officially recorded action. It's depressing how often people's selfishness puts others in this position. I'd think that it's almost inevitable that this family will see you as the bad guy but, because of the safety issues, you probably don't have a choice (aside from the fact that you shouldn't have to deal with uninvited people on your private property). Re the cats: I'll say first that I like cats. I would never wish them harm. That said, I do not believe they should be allowed to roam freely outside. Recent studies estimate that, in the US alone, outdoor cats kill between 1.3 billion and 4 billion birds (and far more small mammals) every year. The old estimate was merely hundreds of millions of birds. Google "outdoor cats birds". With house cats, as opposed to strays, these are not kill-to-survive situations; their prey are play toys and they are generally killed in cruel manner. Outdoor house cats are not a natural part of our ecosystem. Years ago, my family kept a super-soaker by the back door because our neighbour's cats would stalk our bird feeders. We witnessed multiple kills before buying the squirt gun (after trying to talk with our unconcerned neighbours). Because we attempted to talk with them first, it chilled our relationship. Also, outdoor cats are frequent disease carriers. The American Humane Society has a good page on indoor vs. outdoor cats. Good luck dealing with the fallout of your neighbours' selfishness. You should not be in the position of having to deal with this. -M

The first thing that jumped out at me was the mini-heading about the Nordic model being a 'victims first' approach (MP Joy Smith's words), labeling all sex workers as victims. Of course there are victim sex workers, people who can't get out of a life they don't want and people who like their choices but have been victimized by individual jerks. The thing is, I think that could probably be said of a good chunk of the workforce. I'd argue that an SP in control of her(/his) decisions is not a victim, while the average fast food or retail worker is (I say this from past experience). My biggest complaint from Carter's letter is when he describes prostitution as 'inherently violent'. I really don't get how he could be so ignorant. Can he not imagine someone simply wanting companionship? Is sensual massage inherently violent? Sure, there are violent or abusive clients (no clue about the numbers) but that's because they are misogynists/sociopaths/privileged-pricks who bring those wonderful personality traits to every social interaction they have. Completely ending sex work tomorrow wouldn't change that one bit. Bah.

For as long as I can remember (starting in Kindergarten) I've had a thing for redheads. Thanks for creating this group.

Yeah, the patent officially expired last year in Canada. It ended early because Pfizer was a bit shifty when the originally filed it (patent deemed invalid from the beginning); something about lack of full disclosure. <Researching> ... When they filed the patent, Pfizer claimed to not know what the actual active ingredient was and listed a group of compounds (including Sildenafil). It actually looks like the States is the last big holdout for the patent, due to expire in 2019. The EU patent expired in 2013, it never applied in India, and China never really enforced it.

I happened across the Ottawa Men's Clinic website while looking for a clinic to discuss Viagra/Cialis (ended up just going to Appletree). OMC also had a page on premature ejaculation. It mentions many treamtents which don't work and some which do: the Squeeze Method, the Stop/Start Method, Drug Therapy, and Counselling. Most of the previous posts seem to fit into the Stop/Start Method and the Rub One Out method (not mentioned on the clinic page). I'm really intrigued by the Squeeze Method, which was developed by Masters and Johnson (ironically named, given the subject matter). Google Masters and Johnson Squeeze Method and there's lots of info including some videos (haven't watched yet). It seems like the squeeze method lets you get really close and then then stops the orgasm, training you over time to do it without the squeeze (M & J reports 98% success rate!!!). It can be done solo or with a partner. It also requires open communication with your partner, which improves intimacy. I don't typically have an issue with premature ejaculation, although there have been times when my partner's enthusiasm has been much greater than expected, over-ruling my planned pace. Even without PE problems these activities sound like a blast. I wonder how long I can hold off and how explosive it'll be. I certainly plan on finding out. I absolutely think this would be a major perk for any SP who has read up/practiced these methods to put in an ad.

After reading this thread, I decided what the heck. I went to an Appletree clinic and talked to the doctor. She mainly wanted to know about potential blood pressure issues (and checked my blood pressure), heart problems, and allergies. I was upfront that ED medication isn't actually required for me to have an erection and it would be more supplemental (important info for determining dosage). It should also improve the odds of MSOG (didn't talk to her about that). The doctor gave me a some sample Viagra (100mg doses to be broken in half or quarters). She said I'd probably want 50mg, but I think I'll try 25mg to start and give it a bump if needed. From what I've read, I may prefer Cialis but they didn't have any samples. With my new-found courage, I think I'll talk to my GP next time I see her. Some other things I found during my research: -Some women were a bit disturbed by the thought of an erection that they "weren't responsible for." As long as it's not an overdose, ED medications don't actually cause erections, they just increase the physical manifestation of existing mental arousal (nor do they increase libido). You can assure your partner that the desire was always there but your body wasn't always cooperating. -A persistent erection is not a licence to pound away for an hour. Your partner is unlikely to enjoy or appreciate this for very long and it will get painful (first for her, eventually for you). Alternate with non-penetrative activities and communicate openly with your partner about sensations (good advice in any situation).

This is a very helpful thread. I've steered clear of most of the hazards here but I think I could improve my initial contact conversation (primarily related to texts). I'm pretty sure I always at least started with a greeting. However, I had figured that you probably get a lot of texts (mostly time-wasters) and much back-and-forth would get annoying fast. Thanks for educating me. :)

What I have difficulty understanding is how anyone with noticeably funky junk would be willing to undress in front of someone else, let alone pay money. I could at least understand with B.O. that they might be under the impression that all B.O. is 100% pheromones and that it's sexy (they'd be wrong, unless someone has a fetish for that). Anything worse and I can only think they don't know it's not normal. I still have a hard time accepting that, but I can't think of any other reasons. I personally think, in the cases where a shower wouldn't be enough, it would be completely fair to keep the entire donation and send them on their way for not meeting your hygiene requirements. That said, there is the danger of someone turning hostile and they honestly may not have known there was a problem (failed by education system? parents? doctors? common sense?). < I do not think that any of the following is an SP's obligation, I'm just putting the idea out for anyone who would want to do it. > I agree with many of the already-mentioned compromises and have another to suggest. Keep the money, some for time wasted/some as a deposit for the future, and direct them to the resources to fix the problem, such as internet health resources, STD clinic, etc. Something like, "this stuff happens to lots of people, here's what you can do to fix it." Tell them to call you when everything's fixed up and apply the "deposit" money to a second visit, requiring negative test results in hand for any STI's. You'd have to be feeling pretty altruistic to take on that burden but you might be making a huge difference in someone's life and protecting other SPs/general-public who might not notice the symptoms. Note: even if you don't give them a discount for the second visit or even want to have a second visit, giving them concrete avenues for assistance could still be a big help.

Just to clarify, when I mention that the police would probably have the ability to find the owner of a phone number, I understand that this would probably be rather late in the list of options to explore, if at all. Especially since the helpful officer mentioned in another thread is currently unavailable.

Might this be something the police would have access to (assuming it's not a pay-as-you-go phone)?

I think what's fair is that the clock starts when I walk through the door (not being late, that is). What I've done in my limited experience is to tell the SP that I'll text a couple of minutes before the specified start time for the buzzer #, but say that she can text me earlier if ready. I try to be waiting at least 5-10 minutes early and go for a short walk or surf on my phone; being careful to not be a heat-score hanging around looking suspicious.

I really don't understand people trying to haggle on the price. "Hey, before we do this intimate thing, I just want to say I don't think you're worth what you think you're worth." Seems like a pretty surefire way to make your mileage vary. It's possible those people don't understand the impact of such actions. Or else they just don't give a crap if the person they're with actually wants to be there and mutual respect doesn't factor into their enjoyment. The second option seems a bit sociopathic and kind of creeps me out. I don't have a lot of spare money but simply wouldn't enjoy myself if I had to devalue another person to get my kicks.

I have no problems with CBJ. Sure it doesn't feel quite the same (good condoms help) but, in non-monogamous relationships, there is some risk of doing anything without protection. I feel that the extra peace of mind is worth it; not just for me, but for my partner as well. I actually passed on losing my virginity in grade 9 because the girl didn't want to use a condom. The funny thing is that my mother found a letter I was writing to my friend out West and, rather than being happy I was being safe, I got in crap for being sexually active (result = more careful about leaving evidence). Happily, I only had to wait 6 months more (ended up being with the same girl, even though we weren't dating at the time). Until fairly recently, my habit was to close my eyes during a BJ to enjoy the sensation. That is until an SP told me to keep them open and watch everything. That's some of the best advice I've ever gotten.