Expert Companionship Professional?

[Cara Silver 32412]

Hey cerbies,

 

for years I've been trying to find a way to put this job on my resume. I know that sounds silly but this job has been a major part of my life for 6 years now. I feel I've acquired a number of invaluable skills and substantial life experience. Here is what I have learned:

 

I have started, owned, and maintained a business of good reputation.

My business has been successful.

I have acquired skills in the business, financial, marketing and interpersonal arenas.

I have done all this alone, against great odds, and have put myself through school at the same time.

(None of this encompasses the rich and meaningful relationships I've developed with clients, friends, and other sps but you can't put "I made great friends" on a resume! The business skills are a sidebar to the friendships but I definitely wouldn't get the job if I said that)

 

It would all sound SO good on a resume if these skills weren't listed under the title of "Escort".

 

Here's my question: Is there a way for sps to credit their sp life in the real world? Is the stigma too much for employers to move beyond the word 'escort'? What job term could I use instead to describe my time as an escort? Is this even possible?

 

So many of the wonderful skills you learn as an escort are transferable to the real world but it seems that the very nature of the job makes it impossible to claim as experience. I want to be loud and proud about being an escort and my lifestyle and my community but I'm not sure how to spin it.

 

Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks so much xoxoxoox Amelia

[drlove 37202]

Hmmm... that's a good question, Amelia. How about "Therapeutic Massage Technician"?? (I don't know if I like the word technician, though - maybe you could substitute the word "specialist" or something else along those lines). To be honest, I'm really not sure. However, I will say it's a travesty that sociey at large still harbours a stigma toward the adult industry, as doing so debases its intrinsic worth. I'd like to think that closed mindedness in this regard is endemic only to those few who still hold to the antiquated Victorian notions of repression where sexuality is concerned, but it doesn't seem to be the case. It's rather ironic, since we've broken barriers with gay pride and the like, yet sex work continues to be relegated to the shadows. Hopefully this will change. I say, humble be damned! I hope you find a way to market your skill set, and I applaud you for putting it out there.

[capitalman 3861]

Are you job hunting?

 

Good resumes show your skill set and show how those skills are transferable. As an example I worked in hotel and the job itself was useless, however I was trusted with personal belongings, operated mechanical equipment, followed a weekly schedule and worked with others.

 

If you must list where you've been for 6 years, maybe you've been a "Therapist" or "Personal Assistant"

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

You are dead-on that you have very marketable skills, and have a track record that in a "rational" world would be declarable in an honest and straightforward manner as a strong asset. I say: in a rational world.

 

I can't think of any specific occupational euphemisms that wouldn't be obviously suspicious to a resume reviewer. But less-specific euphemisms need not be dismissed out-of-hand. Best not try to be too cute. "Owned and operated a Personal Services Business" may work for resume purposes. There are tons of different types of Personal Services businesses. The purpose of a resume, of course, is to get yourself the opportunity of an interview -- which will be the real place you sell yourself.

 

Self-employment claims are often looked at very carefully by prospective employers. This is because, by their nature, they can be more difficult to verify -- and therefore they are potentially more easily subject to "embellishment". (Claims of self-employment are often used by fudging job candidates to try to hide what are essentially periods of unemployment, etc. -- of course you yourself have demonstrably been a student in the "real" world, not unemployed).

 

Whatever the occupational term you put on your resume to get yourself in the door, be prepared to back it up at the job interview in a concrete manner. Depending on the type of job you are applying for, be prepared to answer questions about your skills and experience with specific examples and facts, including evidence of the existence of your business. Again depending on the type of job you are applying for, it may also be likely that you will be asked to provide references from clients of the business that you own, in order to verify the quality of your work and services. Obviously, well before this point, you will have had to make the personal decision of how far you wish to take forthrightness, or how far you wish to take vagueness. But if you have made it to the interview stage, you have at least had the chance to look the interviewer in the eye, take their measure, and sell yourself accordingly.

 

And I would guess that you are a person who shines in a job interview. Go get 'em.

[VedaSloan 119179]

That's a tough one!

 

Probably the best way to do it is to come as close to the truth as possible, without mentioning the sex part.

 

Therapeutic masseuse would work. You can still explain how well you run your business, but it looks more legitimate than putting "escort."

 

That's what I'd do anyway.

 

Good luck!

[antlerman 17064]

One line is that you constantly were tasked dealing with hard situations that required a delicate hand while maintaining maganagble time lines.

 

sorry...that is just the goofball in me......

[Royalfun 55448]

Hey cerbies,

 

Here is what I have learned:

 

I have started, owned, and maintained a business of good reputation.

My business has been successful.

I have acquired skills in the business, financial, marketing and interpersonal arenas.

I have done all this alone, against great odds, and have put myself through school at the same time.

(None of this encompasses the rich and meaningful relationships I've developed with clients, friends, and other sps but you can't put "I made great friends" on a resume! The business skills are a sidebar to the friendships but I definitely wouldn't get the job if I said that)

 

It would all sound SO good on a resume if these skills weren't listed under the title of "Escort".

 

Here's my question: Is there a way for sps to credit their sp life in the real world? Is the stigma too much for employers to move beyond the word 'escort'? What job term could I use instead to describe my time as an escort? Is this even possible?

 

xoxoxoox Amelia

 

What you raise, Amelia, is so right. The main concern of an employer is to be able to assess your talents and what you will bring to his organization. The way you manage your business, your talent to organize and to make the customers come back are key points to what you can offer to an employer.

 

The domain of activities can be a concern, not so much for moral reasons, but more on the consequences on the organization where you want to work: reactions of their customers, public image, and co-workers. I think that all words related to the business of "escorting" has its meaning for the marketing purpose within the business of escorting. Outside the business, what is relevant, is your capacity to manage "a" business, to get customers, to keep them coming back, to have a good level of quality,,, In today's world, "individualized services" are common: personal trainers, life's coaches, personal counsellors, motivators, facilitators, etc. The title used for the description of yor experience and skills should focus on the capacity of being able to build a clientle, to keep it, and to have a good financial success.

 

 

Self-employment claims are often looked at very carefully by prospective employers. This is because, by their nature, they can be more difficult to verify -- and therefore they are potentially more easily subject to "embellishment". (Claims of self-employment are often used by fudging job candidates to try to hide what are essentially periods of unemployment, etc. -- of course you yourself have demonstrably been a student in the "real" world, not unemployed).

 

Whatever the occupational term you put on your resume to get yourself in the door, be prepared to back it up at the job interview in a concrete manner. Depending on the type of job you are applying for, be prepared to answer questions about your skills and experience with specific examples and facts, including evidence of the existence of your business. Again depending on the type of job you are applying for, it may also be likely that you will be asked to provide references from clients of the business that you own, in order to verify the quality of your work and services. Obviously, well before this point, you will have had to make the personal decision of how far you wish to take forthrightness, or how far you wish to take vagueness. But if you have made it to the interview stage, you have at least had the chance to look the interviewer in the eye, take their measure, and sell yourself accordingly.

 

And I would guess that you are a person who shines in a job interview. Go get 'em.

 

 

I concur with WT. The resume is like an instant picture that will be looked at very quickly; it has to be specific on what kind of skills you offer and what successes you had when you use those skills.

 

The interview is the main and critical part of getting a job. An employer wants to hire someone that will bring more value to his organization. And what happens during the first minutes is critical. He wants to know "who" will join his business. How well you will answer the questions, what examples you will uses, the authenticity of your answers, your potential to learn and to apply new skills, and your assurance will be looked at closely. But every hiring process does that.

 

I wish you the best in your quest for a new carreer.

 

P.S. My English writing skills may not be as accurate as I would like to, so i thank everybody for their understanding....

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

What about Life Coach? In this job we seem to do alot of that...helping others by listening to personal matters and being good listener is very important in our work...in some ways we are a therapist.

[Guest s******ecan****]

Very difficult in my view for you to put this on a resume without raising red flags. Its not fair but its a reality of the world we live in. There are few places where you are more vulnerable to the subjective whims of others than in a job interview.

 

Some of the suggestions here are good but you would have to be very careful about supporting evidence. If you want to go the Massage Therapist route you should actually get established as one so you can back up your claim.

[E.D. man 691]

Ideas:

entrepenuer/ contractor

1 Personnel Assistant

2 Liaison Officer to clientelle

3 Office Assitant

Put down your skills with computer, accounting abiities ect. under all of the above

[Cara Silver 32412]

What about Hardware management? Stonehenge erector? Eiffel Tower engineer? I can tell them I'm very good with transforming horizontally-inclined objects.

 

Seriously though, personal care assistant or personal assistant sounds best but there's no way to back it up. Thanks for all your great suggestions.

 

xoxoxo Your Hardware Manager

[Jackie James 215]

I'd choose, Personal Assistant. :)

[Guest ***nsut***jr]

Amelia

 

I think you need to pick out your strongest skills (the ones that you can mention!) and call yourself a consultant.

If in your position I would create the framework of a legitimate business that entailed you arranging relaxation retreats for executives and other busy well of people. So you would need to know how to book hotels, spas, golf, wine tours etc. Easy enough to do on the web.

You don't need to disclose your income or client names on your resume because both are none of anyones business. Just explain (if asked) that you were a sole proprietor that got your work through word of mouth.

What if you spent the last 6 years selling sno cones on the beach? How would anyone check that out?

 

One thing for sure is that I find ladies on cerb are very interesting, charming and intelligent. You should have no problems.

 

Good luck!

[E.D. man 691]

Personnel Assistant

Can be such things as doing simple things like, shopping or banking. you do handle cash transactions for serices rendered like any other businesses, do you not.

You do have computer skills and a degree above high school

You can adddelivery to your resume as you deliver items of neccessity to people and you assist others in accomplishing their goals do you not.

These is what you do daily, but in other words. And this is everything a P.A. does

[Guest S**a*Q]

Dude :) Call yourself what I do.. It's not a lie in the least.

 

More on this note:

 

We aren't certified, but in our domain experience counts for more than anything else. Certification isn't possible as the scope of situations that we deal with just makes it impossible for attempting any form of grading. In this job only select few are as successful as we've been, due to the fact that not only knowledge and experience we bring to our clients, but self-management and running our own clientele, business and scheduling sets up apart from any other personal assistant. The discretion required for our position disallows us any form of referencing, as we uphold the highest of ethics.

 

That is what a Physical Sexual Therapist does... ;)

 

*(AND if you talk the talk babydoll, no one will question your walk!)

 

To further support my opinion:

 

Sex therapy is the treatment of sexual dysfunction, such as non-consummation, premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, low libido, unwanted sexual fetishes, sexual addiction, painful sex, or a lack of sexual confidence, assisting people who are recovering from sexual assault, problems commonly caused by stress, tiredness and other environmental and relationship factors. Sex therapists assist those experiencing problems in overcoming them, in doing so possibly regaining an active sex life.

[fortunateone 156618]

I think if you say anything other than Massage in the job title, you will be asked to explain more about the services you provided if you choose to say "Personal assistant" or "Personal consultant".

 

Also if you are asked about the details of the business, it will be easier to describe when you know the interviewer, for example, has an image of massage table and clinic in their heads. Since you are describing yourself as self employed and running your own business, if you can also describe that you are a mobile massuese (goes to visit your clients) or work from home. Because massage is more casual than being a consultant, which implies more of an office setting, it would be more closer to reality and easier to envision on their part that working from home makes sense to them.

[Dorinda Bloom 44036]

:?:This is a very good question to raise; it is one that I have often thought of myself....how will I account for my time on a resume?

:idea:Perhaps if you were to say if you were in the area of Public Relations doing "event planning". You may even have a few trusted and successful business clients whom you could use as "references" for said events.

Hopefully you can gather many ideas and good luck to you! :)

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

You need to look at the job you are applying for and customize your resume accordingly.

I would also recommend you start volunteering at a small organization where some of your skills can be used, do office work for a small grassroots organization, volunteer to do online marketing for a few small organizations (become an expert in Web 2.0 marketing LOL! ;) ) for some fundraising projects and events for charities.

 

Take a few courses, if you are not currently a student then take a few online University level courses. You can put all of this on your resume and very quickly spread it out so it appears that only the most recent and most relevant information is on your resume. When you go into the interview you sell it, this is where an escorts soft skills will shine and you can explain that you took time off to work on your personal goals which included volunteer work, pursuing academia and of course xyz job (if you have one to put on your resume).

I would not lie about a job if you are applying to a large corporation, their HR dept will look it up and references will be required, having a friend fake a reference doesn't cut it anymore and it's not worth it if you dazzle them in your interview and pass any skills testing (or psych profile - gotta love those!) they throw at you then you'll at least get a second interview.

 

Having a 6 year gap on a resume can hurt but it's explainable, just have a good reference, solid skills and wow them in the interview. Soft skills matter and that is one thing that few people can beat a good companion at, that's why they pay us the big bucks. :-D

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

Covering a chronological gap is not the issue for Amelia. She has been a full-time student and earned two degrees (B.A. and M.A.) during this 6-year period.

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

Covering a chronological gap is not the issue for Amelia. She has been a full-time student and earned two degrees (B.A. and M.A.) during this 6-year period.

 

Thanks WIT - in that case I wouldn't put this career on a resume. The skills you have developed can be demonstrated in other ways and if you'd like to show work experience either see if you can use those skills via some volunteer work or if you have a client or close friend that owns a business (that knows what you do) that is willing to provide a reference for you, that is where Administrative Assistant, Researcher, Event Coordinator, Project Manager, etc. would work. They could provide a verifiable and credible reference that would relate to the skills you have developed.

 

This is only my opinion and I know many won't agree with me but depending on the industry you are going into many will not understand or be accepting of someone doing this type of work. As individuals they may not mind that you were a sex worker, they may even have a healthy respect for it but as a business the company will generally not take such a risk. If you are open and honest with them in the beginning they may worry that you will be that way with other employees or if you are client facing that you might also tell clients, this can cause a number of HR issues for them or affect their bottom line. If you choose to hide it but list something that seems suspicious such as Massage Therapist yet are not a RMT then they may ask about it in the interview, this will likely raise a few red flags, they will wonder if you are not being honest with them now what issues they are getting into and in a competitive job market it's easy to pass on the person that has something 'suspicious' on their resume. It's easier to pass on a potential employee than to terminate one once you've already hired one, in fact it's an absolute nightmare to try to terminate someone after you've hired them.

 

I'm all for fighting for the rights of sex workers but I would recommend doing it from a legislative standpoint and taking it to task in the media. When you are looking for work go out there and do the best job you can, years down the line when you are successful at what you do let them all know it was funded by a few good men. ;)

 

Again just my 2cents, probably not worth the penny it was printed on. 8)

[Lexy Grace 103696]

:?:This is a very good question to raise; it is one that I have often thought of myself....how will I account for my time on a resume?

:idea:Perhaps if you were to say if you were in the area of Public Relations doing "event planning". You may even have a few trusted and successful business clients whom you could use as "references" for said events.

Hopefully you can gather many ideas and good luck to you! :)

I agree and in the same boat. I have all the education but my past employer found out I was an SP and fired me, to make a long story short. I will need to account for the 6 years I was with them, if I decide to go back to the corporate world. My portfolio and education speaks for itself but it's the reference issue for me.

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

I agree and in the same boat. I have all the education but my past employer found out I was an SP and fired me, to make a long story short. I will need to account for the 6 years I was with them, if I decide to go back to the corporate world. My portfolio and education speaks for itself but it's the reference issue for me.

 

... They said in my contract "It states I can not have any other employment except with them"...

 

You imply, I think, that your dismissal was unrelated to your actual on-the-job performance. If so, then your former employer would be on shaky ground not to give you a proper reference. In today's world, vindictiveness against ex-employees does not legally fly when push comes to shove.

[drlove 37202]

Amelia, I think the posters who suggested you leave this occupation off your resume are most likely correct. After all your educational achievements speak for themselves! Best of luck with all your future endeavours.

 

Additional Comments:

I agree and in the same boat. I have all the education but my past employer found out I was an SP and fired me, to make a long story short.

 

Wow, I can't believe someone did this to you, Lexy. Have you considered pursuing legal action?

[rileydaniels 1901]

When I had my webcam modeling jobs on my resume I had ecomercer sales, video streaming video, and upselling, cross selling, and handling online customer support.

 

cash handling experience, sometimes if you look for job resume examples online you can find something that will fit in with escorting on your resume.

 

it just take ssome real creative writing.