How far are you willing to go?

[Kilt Boy 29352]

You've just met a nice girl (or guy, but we'll stick with the girl imagery), and she puts her number in your phone. She texts her phone to show you it works. Awesome. It could be someone you're seeing for a massage, an intimate encounter, a dancer, anyone really. Maybe she wants to give you updates on her schedule, maybe she's just friendly and adding a personal touch to what may in the future become a more personal relationship. It's a small sign of trust. It might be a hint that you've made a good impression.

 

Not long after (days, hours even) you get a call or text with a seemingly innocent request for help. Not money, but actual personal assistance. She is in some amount of distress and could use your help. I'll leave the details out because they could be quite wide-ranging.

 

Is this a trap? Do you feel that you've made an honest connection and what you're being asked for is something you're capable of? Are you going to end up in a help spiral that will end with you donating a kidney by the end of the evening after a daring escape from some local gang members?

 

How far are you willing to go?

[Mikeyboy 27113]

You've just met a nice girl (or guy, but we'll stick with the girl imagery), and she puts her number in your phone. She texts her phone to show you it works. Awesome. It could be someone you're seeing for a massage, an intimate encounter, a dancer, anyone really. Maybe she wants to give you updates on her schedule, maybe she's just friendly and adding a personal touch to what may in the future become a more personal relationship. It's a small sign of trust. It might be a hint that you've made a good impression.

 

Not long after (days, hours even) you get a call or text with a seemingly innocent request for help. Not money, but actual personal assistance. She is in some amount of distress and could use your help. I'll leave the details out because they could be quite wide-ranging.

 

Is this a trap? Do you feel that you've made an honest connection and what you're being asked for is something you're capable of? Are you going to end up in a help spiral that will end with you donating a kidney by the end of the evening after a daring escape from some local gang members?

 

How far are you willing to go?

 

Are you speaking hypothetically or is this a real sitation? It seems like some extreme caution is needed here. I can't really give advice without knowing the specifics of what is being asked of you, but something does seem a little fishy to me. The odd behavior of the phone number being added to the phone seems a little premeditated to me.

 

I am cautious by nature, but it has always served me well. While I'm all for helping out a friend in need, don't let yourself get played. This is someone you have met only once. Some people are naturally good at getting people to let their guard down and have made careers out of it.

 

Use your upper head on this one.

[Kilt Boy 29352]

It was a totally legit situation. I'm pretty good at sussing out things like this, but it certainly could have gone sideways. Keep an eye on the news for a bizarre and suspicious murder-suicide involving some old, kilted dude.

 

Just kidding.

 

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[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Even I can tell when I'm getting played... and I can be naïve occasionally.

 

It's a free country and we can do as we please and this could be that 1 in a 1000 time that it's legit, but I doubt it. Hey, I give money to homeless people when I know they are likely going to buy booze. Friends call me foolish for giving them money but I just tell them if you were homeless you would probably drink too and I say "btw, you're just cheap and presenting it as concern". Do as you want, Kilt Boy, just go in with both eyes open.

 

Nice guys just seem to give off a vibe. I'm not changing who I am but when I choose to be gullible, it's my choice, no one else's.

[blacklabdog 3049]

I wouldn't say I'm gullible - just like to give people the benefit of the doubt and see the best first

So far I haven't been burned but time will tell if I do in the future

[redskin44 3588]

Personally I believe it is a test . What can she get out of you here , than it begins to slowly escalate and bleed you a little at a time . Nothing big but enough to keep you in the loop with the hope for possibly " more " .

I don't know you , so I have no idea of your situation or suspectability to such advances . So I say keep the lines open and try to feel it out through phone calls , listen for emotion and repeating phrases/words .

All the best to you .

[Kilt Boy 29352]

Okay, this has gone a bit off track. I'm not in any kind of trouble. There is no danger to me. I made an honest friend, was asked for help, she left town the same night. Done.

 

I think I was trying to give an example to prompt some discussion about the limits of trust and generosity.

 

Please, continue.

 

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[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Don't fall for this. It is definite manipulation and too convenient. A professional in this business would never insist that you put her number in your phone and would NEVER solicit your number unannounced or without your permission. If it truly was a case of being in distress and needing help, that's what personal friends and family are for.

 

Personal and professional relationships should always be clear cut and well defined. It is not a person's job to be generous to a fault. This is earned through trust and consideration from the other person. You saw her as a professional and you are under no obligation to go beyond the call of duty outside of those professional parameters.

[drlove 37202]

Years ago, I developed a 'business friendship' with a lady... saw her outside of the agency and sometimes she would call me, but it was ok since I was single at the time. She was a really nice girl, and once even offered me a freebie to make up for the fact that she was two and a half hours late for her appointment (she was partying at a club with friends who didn't know she was an escort). I appreciated the gesture, but declined just the same, as I understood. After all, it was the thought that counts.

 

One day, she called and wanted to know if I could help her out with a car payment. While I would have liked to help her out, I had to say no since things were starting to cross the line and become blurred. I liked her, but at the same time wanted to stick to our original arrangement... a lot less complicated that way.

[GoinDown 3669]

for the right girl ... to the ATM and beyond ;)

[Tempted Monk 5057]

Maybe not exactly on topic but...

 

Years ago I met 2-3 times one escort girl in Ottawa (I am from Toronto).

A year later on one summer weekend I got text message from her. She reminded who she was and asked to call her if I could. I was busy and did not want to call but finally I did, don't even know why...

She was in trouble and needed help. Nothing extraordinary - her purse was stolen with all her money, IDs, flight tickets. She HAD to return to Ottawa that day and could not find anyone in Toronto to help her. I just drove her from airport to Union station and bought her train ticket to Ottawa..

Consequences? That girl had been my best friend, the only person in this world who knew everything about me for almost ten years...

[Guest v**do****g]

I agree that there are some SPs that will manipulate and use you to their advantage.

Not all SPs or clients can be trusted.

 

To the thread starter be very careful giving out your trust and personal information.

I got burnt and f'ed over by an SP that I was friends with and when we had a falling out she went on the boards and tried to ruin me.

She even had all her clients bully and threaten me and gave them my personal information.

 

 

Don't fall for this. It is definite manipulation and too convenient. A professional in this business would never insist that you put her number in your phone and would NEVER solicit your number unannounced or without your permission. If it truly was a case of being in distress and needing help, that's what personal friends and family are for.

 

Personal and professional relationships should always be clear cut and well defined. It is not a person's job to be generous to a fault. This is earned through trust and consideration from the other person. You saw her as a professional and you are under no obligation to go beyond the call of duty outside of those professional parameters.