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The thrill of anonymity

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A friend recently asked me if it didn't weird me out, not knowing who could be behind all of the usernames on cerb. How it could be ANYBODY. Isn't that weird, she asked?

 

I realized, for me anyway, HELL NO. I love it. I find it exciting that the people on here, the ladies who hide their face as well as all of the men, could be anyone. They could be someone who've hired me at my last job; they could be someone I've fired at a previous job. They could be my next-door neighbour, an old boyfriend, my favorite waiter at a restaurant. For all I know, some of these ladies could be people I'm friends with in real life. I can't exactly say why I love it, but I do - especially because, in my case, if you know me in real life and you've come across me on here, it's not hard to put two and two together.

 

Now the thrill changes of course if someone I know personally were to book an appointment and arrive without warning me. In no way is that okay - if you know me, and would like to see me, that is a case where I should be given the opportunity to decide to see you as a client as well. But even then, each time I've actually had that presented to me, my response has been HELL YEAH! It's fun having that 'dirty little secret' with someone you see in real life from time to time.

 

Anyway...that was just on my mind so I thought I'd share. Am I the only one who has this little thrill?

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I love it, it's a huge part of the thrill. I think it's a bit different for a guy since we have the luxury of being able to do more research and have pictures to go on.

 

Most cases though, there are no face shots and even with snaps of a body you still have lots left to the imagination - plus how somebody walks, moves, carries themself, etc. The anticipation of all that put together and who that girl could be when you open the door is very exciting. And you also know (or at least I do) within seconds of making that first eye-contact whether or not this will be a great night.

 

There's been a few instances where I've first locked eyes with someone and there's little expression on their face or no eye-contact at all. Always ends up being a mechanical affair. Still nice, but definitely something missing. It's the smiling eyes and happy demeanour that convince me right away all is well. Always is too - those first impressions really do matter!

 

And it doesn't matter how many times I go through it, I am always surprised by how much better these women are in person, and how different they are from what I imagine. So it is always a thrill and that's the biggest reason I keep going back.

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I don't know if it's the thrill of anonnimity, but there is a certain excitement that comes from not seeing the lady's face, but having communicated with her through texts/pm's/emails etc. You might have a idea of what she's like personality wise, but there is the surprise...thus far I've had pretty good surprises

But it is the whole package for me, including personality...and that you don't really experience till you meet in person

RG

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What I was thinking more of though was the people I'm NOT going to meet. THe fact that some of the people I talk to on here every day, who I banter with, who comment on my pics - may be someone I know in real life, but I'll never find that out. That's what I find strangely thrilling - that people I see every day out and about may know about this part of my life, without me ever telling them, and without me ever finding out they know

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Cleo - with all respect and kinky thoughts - I think you're a closet exhibitionist.:bigclap:

 

It's quite delicious if somebody you may know in your vanilla life is a secret admirer.

 

I've discussed this subject with various MAs - what would happen if a good friend unknowingly booked with them? Me, I would want to continue the appointment...very sexy.

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Cleo - with all respect and kinky thoughts - I think you're a closet exhibitionist.:bigclap:

 

Well geeeeeeeeeeeeez, now you're told everyone! :b

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It can be thrilling to think that you know people here that you deal with in your everyday life or from the past but it's another thing when reality sets in and they actually do know you. A part of me doesn't like to think that I know people on Cerb because I like ot keep my business and personal life seperate. However, I'm sure there are people out there. Unfortunately Ottawa is not a big city where you could use anonymity to your advantage. And speaking of knowing someone on Cerb and then realizing that you know them has happened to me and while it was a surprise, there's really nothing you can do about it. I recently had someone PM me saying they think they know me yet they gave me no clues as to how I know them. I haven't heard back from them.

 

Taking this discussion one step further, I think if you recognize an SP from the past or present, I think you should just leave it at that. It is one thing to book with someone and not realize it was someone you know but it's another thing to recognize someone from their pictures and intentionally meet with them for that purpose. That to me is wierd. I'm not keen on the idea of someone going out of their way to try and meet with me claiming they know me and putting me in awkward position while that person is still free to remain anonymous until if and when they decide to show up. This isn't high school and frankly I'd rather forget about some people from that era.lol. Trickery will get you nowhere.

 

Discretion is a two way street and I would rather not be outted in such a manner. I am positive that many men here wouldn't appreciate an SP making their lives difficult by claiming that they know them from somewhere. I try to be as private as I can possibly be and realize there are risks in this business and attempt to minimize them as best as I can. While I commend other SPs who are 'out' there, I have chosen not to do that for various reasons. And even though we have put ourselves out in the public eye, it doesn't mean that we don't deserve privacy. If you see an SP's pictures and think you know her, it would be in my opinion to keep it to yourself. That's the thrill of this whole business is to keep those secrets, not expose them.

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Discretion is a two way street and I would rather not be outted in such a manner. I am positive that many men here wouldn't appreciate an SP making their lives difficult by claiming that they know them from somewhere. I try to be as private as I can possibly be and realize there are risks in this business and attempt to minimize them as best as I can. While I commend other SPs who are 'out' there, I have chosen not to do that for various reasons. And even though we have put ourselves out in the public eye, it doesn't mean that we don't deserve privacy. If you see an SP's pictures and think you know her, it would be in my opinion to keep it to yourself. That's the thrill of this whole business is to keep those secrets, not expose them.

 

I completely understand where you're coming from on this. I guess for me it's different because noone could out me - I am already out. So thats why I find it thrilling, because noone could really case me any harm by really knowing who 'Cleo' is. I would hope that everyone respects the privacy of every person on this board, whether they're out or not.

 

One thing I'm with you 100% on is how frustrating it is to have someone message you saying they know you, but never telling you who they are - I've had someone messaging me on here since JUNE, saying they worked with me a few years back. It was a company of THOUSANDS of people, so NO I don't know who you are, want to tell me? Noooooooope. Really unfair, and actually quite mean now that I think about it - if you know me on here, either TELL ME, or simply don't. Dont' dangle it in front of me then never tell me who you are - like you said Nicolette, this isn't high school, yeesh!

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I agree that the anonymity is kinda neat. The ladies are a little more 'out there' with their pics or video in chat than I am or some other hobbiests but really - Who are you? That mystery adds to the world of hobbying.

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To add a different spin here. I have no real interest in the sight unseen and get no particular thrill from the anonymity. I like to know what I'm getting into and have even been known to send my own pix in advance to a provider so not only can she practise hiding her diappointment but to enusure that we infact don't know each other from the other world.

 

I do believe in total discretion and pick my potential partners extremely carefully. But in the end I'm a guy (aka shallow) and looks do matter to me, actually the whole package matters to me. So the more I know the better in my books.

 

It's a whole experience thing to me and if it takes me along time to find the right partner, I'm cool with that.

 

Peace

MG

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For me one of the most interesting aspects on the board is that a number of members are not anonymous to me yet they are to each other. As a general rule the male members of the board rarely know who the other male members are but the female members may have met a number of them. I enjoy reading and participating in discussions that would likely never take place in our everyday lives - eg. watching a US politician debate border security with a Canadian truck driver, or watching a graphic designer and an actuary get into a long drawn out debate about the accuracy of stats.

One of the funniest things I ever saw was someone misquote an industry expert in a debate, the misquote altered the entire meaning of the quote and the person they were engaged in debate with was a colleague of the industry expert. I giggled to myself as I watched the expert try not to out themselves while correcting the information, eventually they just walked away from the entire discussion.

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Great insight Kyra. Couldn't agree more. I'll likely never meet any of the other gents but interesting to consider that a lady may know two strangers.

For me one of the most interesting aspects on the board is that a number of members are not anonymous to me yet they are to each other. As a general rule the male members of the board rarely know who the other male members are but the female members may have met a number of them. I enjoy reading and participating in discussions that would likely never take place in our everyday lives

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Guest W***ledi*Time
Great insight Kyra. Couldn't agree more. I'll likely never meet any of the other gents but interesting to consider that a lady may know two strangers.

 

So if Six Degrees of Separation is the average number of "a friend of a friend" steps needed to connect anyone to anyone else on earth --then what's the average number of degrees of separation between Cerbites?

 

The Cerb Web: Two and a half Degrees of Separation?

 

(And how many degrees of separation are there at the hottest moment of a duo, anyway?)

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Eeks, think of 2 Cerb gents who are related and don't even know it. And they're seeing the same SP!

So if Six Degrees of Separation is the average number of "a friend of a friend" steps needed to connect anyone to anyone else on earth --then what's the average number of degrees of separation between Cerbites?

 

The Cerb Web: Two and a half Degrees of Separation?

 

(And how many degrees of separation are there at the hottest moment of a duo, anyway?)

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Guest W***ledi*Time

Below is "The Chart", showing "hook-ups" on the TV Series "The L-Word". Imagine what a Cerb Chart would look like!

 

800px-The_chart.png

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