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An Interview with Nina Lira on Avoiding No Shows

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We all know that cancellations are sometimes inevitable. But what steps can Companions take to ensure they don't have no shows? We interviewed @ninalira to find out.

 

Q: Hey Nina! Thanks for agreeing to this interview. I’m excited to learn more about you, as we’ve not spoken much before! So, can you give me a bit of background on you, your work and your interests?
A: Of course! I’m 23 years old, I'm a full time student and a part time companion. I’m a GFE escort but also a pro-submissive, meaning I offer BDSM sessions where I’m the submissive. I’m half European and half Latin, so I spent my life divided between both continents. I started working in France, but because of the pandemic I decided to relocate to the country I was born in, in South America, and wait until the world gets cured. I have a wide range of interests, including language learning, Egyptology, travel, and oenology.


Q: How long have you been working as a Companion, and where are you based?
A: To be honest, I had my first date as a companion when I was 18. I had seen the French movie “Jeune & Jolie” as a teenager and it made me want to have this secret life for a long time. At 18, I had just moved to France to pursue my studies, so I made it happen. Unfortunately, I was too young and didn’t know about screening, deposits, or where to advertise, so the requests I was getting were a bit sketchy. I ended up just having a few dates per year, and then school got way too demanding and I stopped trying all along. At 21, I met other Europe based companions that taught me how to work safely, and that’s when I started being Nina Lira. I was based in Paris but because of the pandemic I have temporarily relocated and started a long hiatus. I will move again next year, but I’m still deciding where exactly.


Q: You mentioned you’ve worked in Europe - where have you been? And what was it like? Was it a different experience to Canada?
A: Yes! I’ve worked in Paris, in some other smaller French cities, in London, and other UK cities like Manchester, Brighton, Edinburgh and Glasgow. Europe is beautiful and it’s always interesting to visit. I wanted to try working in other European countries too, but Covid ruined my plans. For me, there’s one very important difference between North America and Europe, and that is screening. In North America, you may find men that refuse to screen. But at least, they know what it is. My biggest issue in Europe is having to explain what screening is and what is it for. Thankfully, I ended up getting European clients that understand this process, why it's important to me, and provide all the information I need to feel safe.


Q: So, let’s talk about no shows. Tell me, when you first started out, did this happen often for you?
A: Yes, when I started, it happened a couple times. Eventually, I realised someone was targeting me with fake emails and information, just to make me waste time.


Q: What are the implications of someone not turning up to an appointment?
A: For anyone, time is precious. For someone that works in companionship. time is everything we’ve got. It’s our currency. So wasting hours of it can be extremely frustrating. Also, you feel like a fool for having trusted someone and them deceiving you.


Q: Must be so frustrating! So now do you take deposits?
A: Yes! When I had my firstfirsts “no shows” as a new companion, I didn’t know what else to do and I ended up mentioning it on twitter. A few other providers told me I had to get deposits for longer bookings. At that moment, I felt like it was unfair and they were putting the blame on me! But after a while, I realised they were genuinely worried for me and that they went through this themselves. So I started taking deposits… And it changed everything.


Q: Have you had any good experiences where someone hasn’t been able to come to an appointment but hasn’t put you out of pocket as a result?
A: Yes. There was this one time, where a client felt he was sick, but he let me know about it last minute. I think he didn’t had bad intentions, I think he was genuinely trying to see if he felt better by the time of our booking, and then the time came and he didn’t felt any better. I had booked an incall and had booked a petsitter for my dog, and made all the arrangements I have to do for a long booking (it was 4h or 5h). I didn’t had a fixed cancellation policy back then. He felt bad because he felt that it was unfair to me. So he covered the whole booking cost and then booked another date.

 

Q: THAT is the type of Client we all want! What do you think the main reasons are that someone wouldn’t turn up to an appointment?
A: I honestly believe there are many decent reasons why you wouldn’t be able to go to an appointment. The thing is, you have to be organized and know if you’re going to be able to make it or no. If you’re at work and you have the feeling it’s going to be a very busy day and you won’t make it to your 19h appointment, you should go ahead and cancel, as soon as you can. Last minute cancellations happen.. and it’s frustrating for both sides. But they can’t be a regular thing.


Q: Have you got any tips for Providers on building up the confidence to ask for deposits?
A: I understand this is a complicated policy to set up, and you might be scared of losing clients, but you get more security and time. You can start gradually, maybe only by asking deposits to new clients, but if you feel that it’s the right move for you, do it. Of course, not everyone can have this privilege unfortunately.


Q: Do you have much push back from Clients who don’t want to pay a deposit? How do you deal with that?
A: To be completely honest, I haven’t (yet) received any emails complaining about my deposit policy.. But I know it will happen eventually. My deposit policy is clear on my website. If he wants to book, he’ll make it work, and if he refuses, I just won’t answer anymore. “I can’t leave traces” is not an excuse, as I offer cash based deposit options and plenty of anonymous methods. I have also recently created another email address that doesn’t mention my companion name, exclusively for deposits, to ensure maximum privacy. If I get any emails suggesting to make an exception, they will be left unanswered.


Q: Cancellations happen, what is the best, most respectful, way to cancel?
A: I honestly won’t have hard feelings if one of my clients cancels on me, because since I ask for a deposit I know he will have a good reason to do so! I’m a very understanding person, but obviously an early notice is highly appreciated. The most respectful way to cancel depends on how close the date is. Last month I fell asleep and missed my hair removal appointment. The salon told me I owed the full amount since I didn’t show up at all and they had reserved a time slot for me. It made total sense for me! Of course I was happy to pay for it and reschedule. If a client does the same to me, I expect the same thing. If he cancels on the same day because something urgent came up, I expect an apology, and a tip would be appreciated too. If he cancels 48h before because something came up, I can totally understand it and the date can be rescheduled. Every companion has a different cancellation policy, but I think it’s very important to have it written down somewhere.


Q: Thank you for your time! Is there anything you’d like to add?
A: I would like to add that now I understand how privileged I am. Not anyone can ask for screening, deposits, and proof of vaccination. It took me a while to get here, and I’m extremely thankful with the other sex workers that inspired me to become who I am today, and that helped me get here. I hope that in the future, once I figure out where I want to live and work, and once I have a fixed income, I’ll be able to help other sex workers so they can work in safer conditions. I don’t really believe in karma, but helping others is a core value of mine. I would like to thank Lyla to give me a safe space to express myself and for their work empowering sex workers. Sex work is work.

We all know that cancellations are sometimes inevitable. But what steps can Companions take to ensure they don't have no shows? We interviewed @ninalira to find out.

 

Q: Hey Nina! Thanks for agreeing to this interview. I’m excited to learn more about you, as we’ve not spoken much before! So, can you give me a bit of background on you, your work and your interests?
A: Of course! I’m 23 years old, I'm a full time student and a part time companion. I’m a GFE escort but also a pro-submissive, meaning I offer BDSM sessions where I’m the submissive. I’m half European and half Latin, so I spent my life divided between both continents. I started working in France, but because of the pandemic I decided to relocate to the country I was born in, in South America, and wait until the world gets cured. I have a wide range of interests, including language learning, Egyptology, travel, and oenology.


Q: How long have you been working as a Companion, and where are you based?
A: To be honest, I had my first date as a companion when I was 18. I had seen the French movie “Jeune & Jolie” as a teenager and it made me want to have this secret life for a long time. At 18, I had just moved to France to pursue my studies, so I made it happen. Unfortunately, I was too young and didn’t know about screening, deposits, or where to advertise, so the requests I was getting were a bit sketchy. I ended up just having a few dates per year, and then school got way too demanding and I stopped trying all along. At 21, I met other Europe based companions that taught me how to work safely, and that’s when I started being Nina Lira. I was based in Paris but because of the pandemic I have temporarily relocated and started a long hiatus. I will move again next year, but I’m still deciding where exactly.


Q: You mentioned you’ve worked in Europe - where have you been? And what was it like? Was it a different experience to Canada?
A: Yes! I’ve worked in Paris, in some other smaller French cities, in London, and other UK cities like Manchester, Brighton, Edinburgh and Glasgow. Europe is beautiful and it’s always interesting to visit. I wanted to try working in other European countries too, but Covid ruined my plans. For me, there’s one very important difference between North America and Europe, and that is screening. In North America, you may find men that refuse to screen. But at least, they know what it is. My biggest issue in Europe is having to explain what screening is and what is it for. Thankfully, I ended up getting European clients that understand this process, why it's important to me, and provide all the information I need to feel safe.


Q: So, let’s talk about no shows. Tell me, when you first started out, did this happen often for you?
A: Yes, when I started, it happened a couple times. Eventually, I realised someone was targeting me with fake emails and information, just to make me waste time.


Q: What are the implications of someone not turning up to an appointment?
A: For anyone, time is precious. For someone that works in companionship. time is everything we’ve got. It’s our currency. So wasting hours of it can be extremely frustrating. Also, you feel like a fool for having trusted someone and them deceiving you.


Q: Must be so frustrating! So now do you take deposits?
A: Yes! When I had my firstfirsts “no shows” as a new companion, I didn’t know what else to do and I ended up mentioning it on twitter. A few other providers told me I had to get deposits for longer bookings. At that moment, I felt like it was unfair and they were putting the blame on me! But after a while, I realised they were genuinely worried for me and that they went through this themselves. So I started taking deposits… And it changed everything.


Q: Have you had any good experiences where someone hasn’t been able to come to an appointment but hasn’t put you out of pocket as a result?
A: Yes. There was this one time, where a client felt he was sick, but he let me know about it last minute. I think he didn’t had bad intentions, I think he was genuinely trying to see if he felt better by the time of our booking, and then the time came and he didn’t felt any better. I had booked an incall and had booked a petsitter for my dog, and made all the arrangements I have to do for a long booking (it was 4h or 5h). I didn’t had a fixed cancellation policy back then. He felt bad because he felt that it was unfair to me. So he covered the whole booking cost and then booked another date.

 

Q: THAT is the type of Client we all want! What do you think the main reasons are that someone wouldn’t turn up to an appointment?
A: I honestly believe there are many decent reasons why you wouldn’t be able to go to an appointment. The thing is, you have to be organized and know if you’re going to be able to make it or no. If you’re at work and you have the feeling it’s going to be a very busy day and you won’t make it to your 19h appointment, you should go ahead and cancel, as soon as you can. Last minute cancellations happen.. and it’s frustrating for both sides. But they can’t be a regular thing.


Q: Have you got any tips for Providers on building up the confidence to ask for deposits?
A: I understand this is a complicated policy to set up, and you might be scared of losing clients, but you get more security and time. You can start gradually, maybe only by asking deposits to new clients, but if you feel that it’s the right move for you, do it. Of course, not everyone can have this privilege unfortunately.


Q: Do you have much push back from Clients who don’t want to pay a deposit? How do you deal with that?
A: To be completely honest, I haven’t (yet) received any emails complaining about my deposit policy.. But I know it will happen eventually. My deposit policy is clear on my website. If he wants to book, he’ll make it work, and if he refuses, I just won’t answer anymore. “I can’t leave traces” is not an excuse, as I offer cash based deposit options and plenty of anonymous methods. I have also recently created another email address that doesn’t mention my companion name, exclusively for deposits, to ensure maximum privacy. If I get any emails suggesting to make an exception, they will be left unanswered.


Q: Cancellations happen, what is the best, most respectful, way to cancel?
A: I honestly won’t have hard feelings if one of my clients cancels on me, because since I ask for a deposit I know he will have a good reason to do so! I’m a very understanding person, but obviously an early notice is highly appreciated. The most respectful way to cancel depends on how close the date is. Last month I fell asleep and missed my hair removal appointment. The salon told me I owed the full amount since I didn’t show up at all and they had reserved a time slot for me. It made total sense for me! Of course I was happy to pay for it and reschedule. If a client does the same to me, I expect the same thing. If he cancels on the same day because something urgent came up, I expect an apology, and a tip would be appreciated too. If he cancels 48h before because something came up, I can totally understand it and the date can be rescheduled. Every companion has a different cancellation policy, but I think it’s very important to have it written down somewhere.


Q: Thank you for your time! Is there anything you’d like to add?
A: I would like to add that now I understand how privileged I am. Not anyone can ask for screening, deposits, and proof of vaccination. It took me a while to get here, and I’m extremely thankful with the other sex workers that inspired me to become who I am today, and that helped me get here. I hope that in the future, once I figure out where I want to live and work, and once I have a fixed income, I’ll be able to help other sex workers so they can work in safer conditions. I don’t really believe in karma, but helping others is a core value of mine. I would like to thank Lyla to give me a safe space to express myself and for their work empowering sex workers. Sex work is work.

 

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Thanks @ninalira very insightful. I feel like these ‘insider views’ help not only the companions learn from your experience, but help clients empathize more which helps us be better clients. Thanks again!

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Thank you @ninalira. You gave a clear, reasonable and understanding way that both clients and companions can deal with cancellation. No shows, without a very valid reason, are inexcusable. Wasting time is never good!

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