What a cliet want wants is ...

[Soleil Sublime 38108]

I have to lie to family and friends about what I do. In my life, that's MORE than enough lying to last me a lifetime. :(

[Parker 19761]

It goes both ways...

 

I don't think everyone always means to be dishonest though.

There's a real balancing act between dishonest and brutally honest, and most people like to be somewhere in between... where someone lies in between is a guessing game.

 

I think how we deal with people comes a lot from previous interactions..

If you were tried being honest with someone in the past (either client or provider) and got a bad reaction, you might be less likely to be as honest (or honest at all) in the future...

 

It's also a matter of perception and how honest you believe someone is being with you... I don't believe it's as simple as someone wants to deceive you and that's that, people are rarely that simple.

 

I personally try to graciously accept compliments if I feel they're honest or not... While I prefer honest, I'm not going to waste my time getting all upset about it.

I just try to be honest with people and hope I get the same, and that's really about the most I can do about other people anyways. ;)

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Some of the best SP's I've seen are those that manage to find genuine things complement guy's about. These types of complements don't tend to come early in the session or sometimes even the first session as they are compliments that come from them getting to know me. When the compliment shows insight then it come across as quite genuine. I know I'm not going to compliments on my looks so any of those will usually come across as fake. However the SP's that do find the genuine compliments are usually very positive people who are able to see the good in people and aren't just treating me mechanically as another client from whom to make money.

 

The whole dynamic of truthfulness in general between SP and client is an interesting one. We are both balancing discretion, the desire to hide our true identities, the fact that we are largely paying for a fantasy and the fact that it is a paid client relationship. This all make 'honesty' a very rare part of the encounter. It tends to more come in time than during a first meeting. It is also best in early encounters to avoid questions that give rise to dishonest answers and just stick to to more general conversations about current events, movie or book preferences and that sort of thing.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I love discovering older threads that still have life left in them...

 

I am a very honest and open person and am the same with my clients as with anyone. That means that if I give a compliment it's genuine. Everyone is beautiful, everyone has wonderful qualities and everyone has something sexy about them if you're willing to see it. I've said things that go against what my clients think about themselves and have had it pish poshed and that's okay. I can't change their mind about their own perceptions, only they can. I can definitely point out what I see in them though. I've heard the line "I bet you say that to all your clients" and my normal retort is "only if it's true". I won't lie to make someone feel better especially when I can be honest and get the same reaction. Every client deserves my respect and my honesty and that's what I'm giving them. If I love the feel of their skin or the look in their eyes or the way their cock feels in my mouth, I hope they know it's true.

 

If I had to put on an act in this job, I wouldn't be in it. I love it and I can be myself.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

Wow, this is really interesting. I am an optimist. Can't change that, no matter what is happening in life, I will always look at life with the view of "what is the best thing happening right now?".

 

I love finding a quality in someone and letting them know that. Maybe they have beautiful eyes, or their smile lights up the room. I will tell them that. Those that are un confident about themselves and say "no, my eyes are .... or my smile is ....." And of course, those that say "bet you say that to all your clients" irks me. I don't of course. Some clients I never give a compliment to. They don't bring that out in me, but for those I give a compliment to, it is genuine. I don't lie, of course, if they ask me something about themselves they feel inadequate about, I am not going to run them down and say ya, you have the smallest dick in the world. However, I will say something to show them that they have a quality that makes them unique and special. I will always search for that and let them know.

 

For those those that are confident in themselves, they accept my compliment and we move on. For those that are not confident, I hope they hear what I tell them and accept it.

 

We are all beautiful, you just have to look.

 

xoxo

[cyclo 30131]

I think most men are uncomfortable receiving genuine compliments. I don't think it's necessarily because of low self esteem either. We just don't understand how to graciously accept a compliment and as a result end up doing or saying awkward things such as "I bet you say that to all the guys." I know it's hard to believe that we're stumped by such simple social etiquette, but we are.

 

Women participate in more of a "culture of compliments" which are given and received much freely and graciously:

 

"Those are gorgeous shoes... Yes, aren't they to die for, I got them at..."

 

"I love what you've done with your hair... Thanks, it was time for a change and I've been thinking about trying something different for the summer..."

 

"Thanks so much for the thoughtful note you sent... Oh, when I heard what happened my heart went out to you right away..."

 

At best, amongst ourselves, most men can only get out back handed or tongue in cheek comments that are compliments or thanks in disguise lol. When receiving a compliment from an attractive and usually younger woman, it's no wonder many men screw it up. Ladies, they're not really calling you liars. When you reflect upon all the basic etiquette topics that have been discussed on CERB (hygiene for crying out loud!!!!!) it shouldn't be all that surprising that men don't know the finer points of graciously accepting a compliment. It's just one more thing you can help us with!

 

I used to feel awkward receiving compliments and felt that I never really held up my part as a gracious recipient. So I went to "social grad school" and watched and listened to how women talk to each other. I think I've mastered it now :-) with respnses that range for a simple smile to "Thanks, that's very sweet of you to say"... "Thanks, I try to... (fill in the blank...)"

[piano8950 32577]

I know I'm far from perfect. With a pillsbury-ish boy like exterior, a face that could turn heads (mainly when I wore a doctor who halloween costume dressed as an Indian 10, whovians will understand this), I've slowly come to appreciate my very flawed body, and working on making it healthier.

 

So if I get a compliment, I don't want it to be one that she would have to feel compelled to make, but a genuine one brought up just because.

[Guest webothscore]

After reading the last four pages, I want to come from another angle. I love getting compliments! :) and giving too! Of course I can tell when they are superficial, so the genuine ones are the ones that matter. I do not suffer from low self esteem, in fact I have been a little too far the other way, but then life has thrown some nasty curve balls in the last few years, so I am much more grounded and neautral. I concentrate on humour and making people feel like they can be their utmost selves, even from day one. Have a great day you beautiful people.

[cometman 35115]

Great thread. Glad it was brought back to life. The thing I love about this site and these ladies and gents is the same as what Phadreus said. The people I feel I connect with on here are the people who let their real personalities show up in their posts. I'm a people person, but as I have grown older, I let people into my personal inner circle more slowly. I like to gauge people before I commit to some degree of friendship.

I absolutely enjoyed the Halifax social because it gave me a chance to meet some of the same people that I enjoyed on CERB. They were as nice a bunch in person as I suspected from interacting with them on the forum. These are the type of people I enjoy meeting. When I give to or receive a compliment from a friend, we both know it's genuine. If it is a fabrication, we both laugh our asses off. I've met some terrific people on here of both genders.......the type of people I'll always think of fondly and look forward to seeing again.

[roamingguy 300291]

I prefer being complimented on who I am rather than lied to. Nothing more flattering than being with a beautiful woman who, irrespective of this being a paid encounter, enjoys being with you. That to me is the biggest compliment this guy could get

 

RG

[Fresh start 17467]

I've been told enough lies in my life that I prefer the truth. I don't see the difference from someone calling me stupid or someone saying I have the biggest dick in the world, they're both bs statements. Honesty is the best compliment you can give me even if its constructive criticism. It's like giving someone false hope. Stick to sincere and honesty for me please much more meaningful. If I want to role play ill ask for that service.

[Guest C**Tra****er]

I've never been one to give false compliments. If I tell someone that they're beautiful or I had a great time, I truly mean it. I like the same in return. I'm not the most handsome guy, certainly not the most toned or muscular, and I know I'm not the "biggest" guy, but I like to think that I'm a nice guy; I'm kind, compassionate, pretty darn good with the soap and a razor too ;) My parents taught me to respect others and I tend to give others the benefit of the doubt.

 

All compliments are nice of course, but they obviously mean much more when they're genuine!

[PatrickGC 10792]

Give me real and authentic any day. Complete with all that is human. Unforeseen acts of God [farts, burps etc.] laughter, ups and downs. No one is perfect, and life is far too scripted nowadays.

 

Sometimes, the unpredictable is what makes it even more memorable.. and occasionally yes, something you'll never live down. Hopefully with a smile on your face. Personally I can still think of a few dates that had me blushing. However, that's another post and maybe somewhere down the road.

 

Take care,

PatrickGC

[Guest D***el B***e]

Midnight massage ... love your post! it's all so true ... I've learned to stop saying "I bet you say that to all your clients" because it's become counter-productive. My time is my time ... I know when I have a connection and I know if my provider feels the same and is willing to express her feelings honestly ... although I've been fooled at times but it doesn't take long to figure that one out.

 

I think you are a smart woman and I love your perspective on this aspect of the relationship and how you go about to nurture it. Sometimes the most simple gestures bring the greatest rewards .... Cheers!

[saltydog 100]

No lies. I may not cut the mustard like I used to, but I can still lick the jar all night long.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'm not the type that will stroke anyone's ego, what's the point. If I give a compliment I mean it. Also I'd rather hear the truth than a false compliment, after all we all know when we are being stroked.

Clients come to sp's to be treated well, not to be lied to:)

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

I have to wonder if receiving compliments has to do with not knowing how to be able to accept them within ourselves? People used to give me compliments all the time and I didn't know how to handle it. When I was younger and at that point where I was skinny, I would get the cat calls when downtown coming out of the hair salon. I didn't know how to handle it.. I just wanted to run. Now, as I am more comfortable in my own skin, I still get compliments, I just accept them and say thank-you.