castle 38816 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 I have a picture that I'm DYING to make my avatar on here......I think it would be cool to give the ladies an idea of what I look like......Hey if they can do it, so can we right? :p Problem being until recently it was also my profile picture on facebook. It's not a pic that could possibly reveal my identity in any way.....but at the same time it is particular to me and I'm paranoid about someone from my facebook who might also be on here recognizing it as my profile picture from facebook. I'm not so much worried about being "outed" as I'm sure everyone here knows the value of anonymity and would have enough respect and common sense to not spread it around. I'm more worried about someone PMing me and saying "Hey *insert my real name here* I didn't know you were on here!"......or messaging me on facebook or something and mention that they saw I was on cerb......that would be more than a little awkward for me. Pretty much the same reason I haven't attended any socials yet. Worried about the awkwardness of bumping into someone I know. I have no S/O, no children, so in reality nothing really major would happen if I'm "found out". So my fear is simply that of that awkward situation of realizing someone here is someone I know. So my question to the ladies and gents of cerb.....do others have this same level of concern about their anonymity? Or am I overreacting a bit and being maybe a little overly paranoid? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 Nope, you are perfectly sane and rational. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
toine 30556 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 You might be a bit paranoid, but at the same time, it may not be the best idea to have pics and avatars in common between her and fb. I, for one, attempt to keep the two separate to the extent possible. Should someone add 2+2, well, it would be interesting to see what comes next...but I'm trying my darndest to minimize the risk, short of not being on cerb... but certainly by not having too much of a footprint elsewhere on the net. toine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 Is that even though the picture was used by you in another site and can be associated with you if the image in question can be found on google or anywhere else on the net you have nothing to worry about, however I think if someone from your personal life is a member here and reading this thread well, by mentioning where you used this pic before you just increased the chances for that person to figure out your identity, if you decide to use the pic as your avatar that is :S Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castle 38816 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 Is that even though the picture was used by you in another site and can be associated with you if the image in question can be found on google or anywhere else on the net you have nothing to worry about, however I think if someone from your personal life is a member here and reading this thread well, by mentioning where you used this pic before you just increased the chances for that person to figure out your identity, if you decide to use the pic as your avatar that is :S No it's not a picture that can be googled. It's not a "public access" kind of picture. It is particular to me, There's no doubt that if someone from my facebook friends saw it on here that they would know it's me. My question was more, that because I have no kids or SO that there would be no major fallout even if someone did figure it out, other than a little awkwardness. I can understand those gentlemen on here who have a lot to lose being super cautious about their anonymity........but I guess my question is seeing as there would be no real fallout for me compared to some other than a little awkwardness.....am I being overly paranoid? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etasman2000 15994 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 Ok....lets ask the simple question.....if you aren't bothered about being outed why not just use your real name on cerb. essentially that's the outcome of posting that picture and having someone put two and two together. am I being overly paranoid? personally i say you aren't paranoid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JuliasUndies 7288 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 But if your facebook friends saw you on cerb, wouldn't that mean they were on Cerb too and outing themselves at the same time? You could take another pic that your friends wouldn't recognize? More pictures of men would be an asset. Even if you wore masks, I'd be great! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrrnice2 157005 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 Ones personal privacy and personal anonymity in relation to involvement with CERB are exactly that, personal. In reading the various posts over time I see both men and women who are very open with their involvement and those who probably would come under the category of being paranoid, and for each of us our reasons are valid. My situation Castle is very similar to your own. No SO, no potential issues related to work, and nothing that ultimately would cause me serious issues were I 'discovered.' I am completely aware that over the time that I have been a member and because of the nature of much of my writing, that a determined person could probably identify me. The specific posts that I have written that would allow that to happen were knowingly submitted because they were very important to me personally, much perhaps in the same sense as your avatar is to you? I have had after communication back and forth with some SP's no issue with giving my real name, email address or phone number to them, and I have not had nor do I expect any negative repercussions from that. In fact, that personal trust has been returned to me in kind. For me, an underlying belief about CERB, about the nature of what I have become involved with, is that there is no shame, there is nothing morally or ethically wrong with my participation, and that the women (and men) I have had the good fortune to meet are amazing people. So no I am not putting my face picture on here, nor signing with my real name in public, but neither do I feel paranoid about someone putting two and two together. I am a lucky person to be in that situation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angel's Touch Ottawa 22561 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 You could always post your face pic in an album but keep that album "private" meaning only your friends can view that way you can control somewhat who views your photo. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
qwertyaccount 15793 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 ...I'm more worried about someone PMing me and saying "Hey *insert my real name here* I didn't know you were on here!"......or messaging me on facebook or something and mention that they saw I was on cerb......that would be more than a little awkward for me.... What is the worst thing that could happen if you were "outed"? If that's not acceptable to you, don't post it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smitty_McFlung 290 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 I like to think that if some one recognises you on here by your pic....it would be hyporcritical of them outing you, they are here for probably the same thing?? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Code Blue 3585 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 It's only paranoia if you are being persecuted! Otherwise it's simply cautious. I share mrnice2's approach with openness amongst those with whom I have some kind of relationship: it's a matter of trust. However, unlike him, I would find some issues were people able to add 2+2 and identify me publicly. In my situation around work it would be difficult, so I exercise caution, not overt paranoia. So far it has not caused issues. There have been days when I felt like posting something which would have made the mental arithmetic work out: I thought twice about what was driving me to make the post and in the end reconsidered. In those instances it may actually have been a desire to be "recognised" in some fashion. In my own personal and professional situations, my life here and my hobby - no offence to those who dislike the label, but it seems to have currency - are simply part of a bigger picture and need to be kept in (a controlled) context. Happy Saturday CB Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
777flyer 1612 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 This is the internet, whatever you post on the internet is here forever..... While it may not be a big deal today that you are recognized, think about the future........ what will happen when you get an S/O, children etc.... will it matter to you that they know you are on here ? If not, then by all means go ahead, but by posting here, you are really opening yourself to everyone who surfs the net, and not just members of this site. If you want ladies to know what you look like, then do so in private emails, I would personally not expose myself (no pun intended) on any internet site. SNK 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BarrhavenWoody 10776 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 This is the internet, whatever you post on the internet is here forever..... While it may not be a big deal today that you are recognized, think about the future........ what will happen when you get an S/O, children etc.... will it matter to you that they know you are on here ? Very good point by 777flyer. It may not matter much at this point in your life, but who knows what the future holds? You may have a spouse or a different career in a few years where this could lead to problems. I would advise caution. BW Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 I would probably not recommend posting a pic of yourself on here. This could lead to problems down the road. As previously stated, you don't know what your future holds, so best not to post a pic of yourself. It's not being paranoid Castle, it's just being smart. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castle 38816 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 Just to be clear it's not actually a photograph of me. I don't think I would ever post that on here. It's a cartoon rendition of me (ie, Picture a "family guy" or "south park" rendition of yourself), so it's not really recognizable as me at all to anyone who hasn't already seen it as my fb profile pic. But would still give the ladies somewhat of an idea of what to expect. And I've removed it from my facebook. So it's not even in that album anymore. No one would be able to go and compare them to see if they're the same pic. So I'm not worried about the average browser recognizing me. Just people from my facebook friends list (which is really not that ample, less than a 100 people.......and I think only about 10 or 15 of those are actually active on facebook). I think I'm gonna wait a month or two until it's no longer so much on the collective memory as being my facebook pic and then make it an avatar. Worst case scenario I run into a little awkwardness. Not the end of the world. In the meantime I've taken the advice of some and put it in a private album on here viewable only to people in my contact list. Should be up shortly. Thanks all for the input!! :D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JuliasUndies 7288 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 Oh there you are teasing again Castle! A cartoon rendition?! This whole time I was getting excited for wave of a possibility of real men pix going round and thinking you were going to do that for us. Well then, phhhh! I turn my nose to your cartoon (but may still find it mildly attractive either way) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bewlayb 7480 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 I like to think that if some one recognises you on here by your pic....it would be hyporcritical of them outing you, they are here for probably the same thing?? My first reaction too. But not my second. This would be a valid expectation if we're referring to active members who participate and contribute to the forum, and in doing so have something in common with us. For those that choose only to sit silently and watch, I'm not so sure they are here for the same thing. Now who's paranoid, huh? :???: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gringo_Love 573 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 Your anonymity to date has been important to you. There must be some little bird or gut instinct telling you to be cautious with your identity. Unintended consequences of our actions are always unknown... What's the worst that can happen.... you probably can guess but not know for sure...I wouldn't use the pic until it just didn't matter to me at all.....my 2 cents Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loopie 15358 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 I guess I'll chime in and play amateur psychologist too. I feel like this struggle Castle is facing with his avatar is actually a struggle with how he relates to the hobby in general. I think Castle's desire to place an avatar that would identify himself is Castle trying to out himself. Subconsciously, he might hope one of his friends would be on here recognize him. He probably resents the secrecy with which he practices this hobby and would just like to be more open about it. The logical part of his brain tells him there's no reason to be ashamed about doing this but the emotional part gives him doubts and makes him want to keep it private. He would probably just like to be open about it and have his friends know he does it and accept him for doing it, but his hesitation represents his fears of their judgement. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
castle 38816 Report post Posted November 12, 2011 OK so this now infamous rendition of me is now up on my profile and is viewable only to people in my contact list. So I have a favor....can someone who is NOT currently on my friends list just take a look and tell me if you see it? I did set it to private and I just want to make sure that for the time being no one except my contacts can see it. Thanks! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest E***Er***ca Report post Posted November 12, 2011 Hello, Your concerns are completely rational. There is a program available for free on the internet which you can copy down the url of an image, and search the entire internet if that exact image has been used, and it will take you to the site where it is used. If you are a business exec or someone in the limelight I would think it would be natural to request anonymity. I'm sure we would love to see your lovely face. I see no shame in being a member of a review board. But if you are concerned about someone that you know tracking you through images posted it is entirely possible. If it is really someone's desire, that is another question. In my opinion it would be pretty lame to go through the trouble. But do bear in mind, that what is on the internet is on there for good, maybe use a picture that hasn't been posted anywhere else and you are safe. Hope this helps a bit. Eva Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted November 14, 2011 Coming late to this party... but no, I don't think you're paranoid or being unreasonable. What's out there online is there forever and once it's posted, you've lost control of it. And if it is paranoid... well, please move over and make some room in the asylum, 'cos I think there's going to be a lot of us trying to squeeze in there with you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300291 Report post Posted November 14, 2011 I also don't think you are paranoid, you just want to be discrete Anyone that recognizes you on this site for your avatar is also partaking in this lifestyle and likely will keep quiet. First question asked if they said something, how do you know???... As for what to do, if posting the avatar will give you sleepless nights, don't do it. If not, do it For whatever that is worth RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Touch 57501 Report post Posted November 14, 2011 OK so this now infamous rendition of me is now up on my profile and is viewable only to people in my contact list. So I have a favor....can someone who is NOT currently on my friends list just take a look and tell me if you see it? I did set it to private and I just want to make sure that for the time being no one except my contacts can see it. Thanks! I did not see anything like a cartoon rendition of you on your profile site... Touch 14 November Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
