bcguy42 38594 Report post Posted January 10, 2012 It would appear the answer is "no". Check here: I rest my case. :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrenadeMan 280 Report post Posted January 10, 2012 Yes it is impossible for men and women to be friends. Unless their relationship is based on professional terms such as colleagues, business partners, where the working relationship is based on purely professional interest. That is the only case where I can see that men and women can be friends. That is because the friendship is based on professional reasons and not on personal feelings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen 67414 Report post Posted January 10, 2012 It's entirely possible for men and women to be "just friends". But you need to dump the "just"; by itself that word betrays a bias within the question. They're friends. The first step in maintaining a quality friendship between a man and a woman is to recognize that friendship by itself is highly valuable. Sometimes friendship *is* the ultimate and most rewarding relationship for two people; you can't think of it as some kind of lesser, consolation prize you settle for instead of sex. The vast majority of the most important, deepest, and enduring relationships in my life have been friendships, and several of those have been with women. And these were not, if you'll accept my word for it, cases of either party settling for friendship instead of a secretly pined-for sexual relationship. Friendships let you explore each other's minds, attitudes, hopes, fears, and enjoy each other's company foremost as two human beings who just happen to be of different genders. Lifelong friendships endure through all kinds of dramatic changes and transitions, and your friends can know you deeper than lovers through accumulated time and experience. It's a different way of engaging with another, whole person that doesn't depend on scheming to bump crotches together. The video might have produced different results if the people polled were older. As samples go, hyper-hormonal college kids who are just starting to figure themselves out and find their place among social hierarchies is a tad biased. 16 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aspen Wilde 31370 Report post Posted January 10, 2012 I'm honestly not sure where this notion comes from, but I don't like it very much. Some of the best friends I've ever had are/have been male. Most of whom are sexually and/or romantically attracted to women, I might add. But just as I as a bisexual person am not immediately attracted to everyone I meet, men have different criteria for sexual and romantic attraction, too. Sexual tension is not always there. And you know what? Even when a friendship does include sexual tension, that doesn't mean it can't work! I speak from experience. Sometimes friendship *is* the ultimate and most rewarding relationship for two people; you can't think of it as some kind of lesser, consolation prize you settle for instead of sex. Exactly! Nothing is more valuable to me in my interactions than real, intimate emotional and intellectual connection. Sex can be a part of that relationship, but it doesn't have to be. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silverado17 12689 Report post Posted January 10, 2012 i'll say that men and women can be friends i have a few ladies friends that call me when they need someone to talk to and even go out to dinner with no strings attached just as friends,some even just want some companianship for the night where they can just relax and it's a good night out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spud271 47779 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 I tend to agree that men and women can just be friends. One of my best friends in the world is a woman. She has been one of my best friends for 36 years. We've been drunk together, slept in the same bed...and have never once come on to one another as we both feel we have always meant to only be friends. We've stood by one another through thick and thin, she's always been there for me and I will always be there for her. I could not ask for a better friend. So yes, men and women can just be friends. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TKDKidd 663 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 I am in the firm mindset that men and women can just be friends. I have had female roommates almost my entire life, have never hooked up with any of them and we get along great. I do not believe that a relationship between two individuals has to be sexual in nature if they are of the opposite sex and it is not in a work environment. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 Damn right we can just be friends! I've met some of my closest lady friends because they either dated or married guy friends of mine. Not once during a debate with Sue* about sports, a lengthy discussion about books with Emily* or having drinks at a concert with Rebecca* has the thought of seeing them naked entered my head. These are people with whom I have a genuine connection that has nothing to do with sex, nor would I want it that way. To insinuate otherwise is frankly insulting to all the parties in question! That's not to say I haven't been stuck in the dreaded "friend zone" once or twice before! ;) *The names of the women mentioned above have obviously been changed :P 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reuben Sandwich 13841 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 Yup. It has worked for me. I would prefer not to imagine my life without my female friends. I have learned and shared so much with them, 3 in particular, that have helped shape who I am today. I agree with Mighty Pen that as soon as I saw the video was set on a university campus, the age factor of the respondents would skew the results. I wondered how I would have responded as a 20 year old and I remember that is when I had a couple of close female friends through work, one of whom I still keep in touch with, as well as her male partner who bacame one of my best friends. Almost forty years later they have now split up but she is the one I stay in touch with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S**a*Q Report post Posted January 11, 2012 BLAH... Just in the past two weeks, I've had two guys be all like "Well, since you don't wanna date me... can we be friends with benefits?" and "I don't think you're my type to date but we can be just friends and fuck?" (I had no plans on dating or fucking either of them.) I'm a big fan of friends first... GRRR! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LeeRichards 177238 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 BLAH... Just in the past two weeks, I've had two guys be all like "Well, since you don't wanna date me... can we be friends with benefits?" and "I don't think you're my type to date but we can be just friends and fuck?" (I had no plans on dating or fucking either of them.) I'm a big fan of friends first... GRRR! Allllrighty then....note to self....scratch Sara off the friends with benefits list ;) Exactly SMQ ....Friends first !!! hence the expression Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 My era......until we matured of course ;) http://youtu.be/zFWGOKuFyjk Peace MG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrrnice2 157005 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 Of course men and women can be friends, and truly they can be platonic friends. For whatever reason I have always 'related' better with women than men, and most of my closest friends are in fact women. Do I notice that they are women? Of course I do. Does it cause temptation at times. With some, absolutely a yes to that! Would I act on that temptation? A pretty certain no, but if they ever sent "signals", I would be in a quandry! Friends are friends. It can be as simple as that. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Katherine of Halifax 113931 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 Yes for sure. As a child and all through my teens to now I hung with a guy. There was never even a kiss between us and there never will be. We were and still are very special to each other. All our friends thought we were getting it on though!!:biggrin: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DixonD 817 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 Sure they can! And I hope to have many more great friendships with women! A short post but I really can't think of anything else to type that hasn't already been said! (and said so well!) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cat 262460 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 My best friend is a man. He has been there for me without fail. I would give him a kidney or take a bullet for him literally. He is my touchstone. It doesn't matter that we have different anatomy or that we have no inclination in exploring each others anatomy. Our friendship has withstood the tests and tribulations life has presented and I don't see that changing. Yes, men and women can be friends... cat 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loopie 15358 Report post Posted January 11, 2012 I think the best romantic relationships are built on friendship, but that doesn't make friendship less valuable. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crillin 54 Report post Posted January 12, 2012 Only if there is no sexual tension from both parties. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted January 12, 2012 Only if there is no sexual tension from both parties. Why? It's not necessary to sleep with everyone you feel the slightest bit of sexual attraction to, and the fact that you don't need not preclude friendship. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eagle 1401 Report post Posted January 13, 2012 It is possible regardless their sexual orientation.As long as they have affinities or hobbies in common... I know a lot of men and women who are just friends, never been lover and will never become lover. It is part of life and will always be. It is as much possible as one or two persons if it's mutual feel in love. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Old Dog 179138 Report post Posted January 13, 2012 I am living proof of the concept. My best friends, in fact nearly all of my friends, are women. I do have male friends; some of my oldest and dearest friends are guys. We sit back and talk of the old times, stare lecherously at the girls as they walk by, and enjoy the company that we have kept for decades. I work in a female dominated workplace. I have daughters, no sons. My mom was the strength in my family. I guess I am just conditioned to thrive in the company of women, and frankly I am really good with that. The benefits? I think I understand women better than the average guy. I can speak to women with relative ease. The detractors? I get caught staring at boobs. All the time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
