(mis)understanding introverts

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150333]

I will respond more in depth to this, but as an INTROVERT, I need time to digest and reflect upon on it! I am happy you posted this, as it is a subject I find myself trying to explain to my peers. They see me as Extrovert, but yet I am soooo not! I appear to be because of exhibitionist ways...

 

Will explain more later today, think on it more...

[Guest **zz**x]

There is also an interesting new book out on this subject entitled: Quiet: The Power of Introverts. It argues the world has developed around the idea that extroversion is "normal" and is seen as the key to a successful life but introverts have a lot to offer in terms of quieter, creative and saner world...

[Annessa 22743]

Thanks for posting this....my SO I've come to learn is a definite introvert and while I'm the exact opposite (a complete nutty extrovert). knowing some of these qualities has definitely helped me see things differently and not take things the wrong way :-)

[Guest S**a*Q]

I am an introvert...

 

...

 

No, I am not :D

[Guest **zz**x]

Sara's introversion is just well hidden behind that false facade of extroversion... really, really, really well hidden!

[etasman2000 15994]

Here is a wonderful Ted Talk about The Power of Introverts.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Extrovert with a twist. I'm very at ease chatting and doing the small talk stuff. Any SP I've seen would say I'm relaxed, chatty and have no outward appearance of being shy. Now here's the twist,years ago my extroversion was used to covered up what I thought was my introversion.In reality it covered up my lack of confidence.I was the life of the party, always filled any silences.But I wasn't being true to me. Through meditation and introspection and spending time alone, I overcame my lack of confidence and self doubt.Now I can sit back and observe or join in but its for the right resaons. I guess it fits with my Pisces nature :)

 

Peace

MG

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

...many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors ...

 

Thanks Nathalie, this article hits close to home in many ways.

 

I'm also an introvert, but I'm not only an introvert. I'm pathologically shy. At parties, or other social situations, I've often been mistaken for an arrogant snob who won't condescend to mix with the rabble ... when, in reality, my brain becomes rapidly overloaded and exhausted, and I struggle against a powerful defensive urge to curl up in a ball in the corner and completely shut down. Actually, for most of my life I would have gladly sawed off random body parts in exchange for fitting in amongst the rabble. Any rabble.

 

When I was younger, I was sure I was the shyest person on the planet. There's hubris for you. Subjective logic still tells me that I must have set some sort of unofficial world record for shyness (although Guinness hadn't yet invented the concept of world records back then). Of course, objective statistics exasperatedly scream that that's really not likely. And if you don't believe in statistics, what's left in life to believe in? Only damn lies.

 

However, as I got older, I did learn some tricks to partially compensate. I didn't manage to do so early enough that my brain turned out to be normally wired when its development was completed, however. In my mid-twenties, I finally reached an internal truce with myself and concentrated instead on living the pieces of life that worked for me. When I was in my early thirties I somehow managed to break out of the worst aspects of my self-constructed cage - largely as a result of the inter-personal demands of my work's managerial duties.

 

So am I an introvert? Yes, and that's been the least of my problems!

[piano8950 32577]

Question to all the introvert SPs. Has this profession helped or made any difference, or has no effect with being an introvert?

[Nathalie L 112512]

Thanks Nathalie, this article hits close to home in many ways.

 

I'm also an introvert, but I'm not only an introvert. I'm pathologically shy. At parties, or other social situations, I've often been mistaken for an arrogant snob who won't condescend to mix with the rabble ... when, in reality, my brain becomes rapidly overloaded and exhausted, and I struggle against a powerful defensive urge to curl up in a ball in the corner and completely shut down. Actually, for most of my life I would have gladly sawed off random body parts in exchange for fitting in amongst the rabble.

 

Firstly, you're welcome and truly, it's my pleasure.

 

Secondly, I've often been mistaken for arrogant as well, and so has Jonathan in the article I posted. At parties I have a tendency of finding the one person I can connect with, sitting in a corner, and having an intimate conversation with them for the rest of the evening. Generally, I need reassurance that I'm not preventing them from socializing with other people!

 

Additional Comments:

Question to all the introvert SPs. Has this profession helped or made any difference, or has no effect with being an introvert?

 

I don't think it made a difference, except that my encounters tend to have very deep, intimate, and philosophical connotations. I love sharing thoughts and feelings, and talking about life, solitude, love, romance. I'm playful, but my introversion definitely plays out with patrons.

[Gia Wren Marlowe 67985]

Thank you for posting this, Nathalie. I have been a big fan of that article for over a year, I believe, and have shared it with many of my friends and acquaintances. I'm so glad you have it and thought to post it on CERB. I have a feeling there are quite a few introverts in our community.

 

I think being an introvert can be a wonderful thing, and not something to be fixed. I wouldn't try to change this aspect of myself. I'm glad that people are recognising more and more that it is just a different way of relating to the world. Being introverted has its own strengths and advantages, just as being an extrovert does.

 

Great thread!

[LeeRichards 177238]

Wow... Great Post !! Great article ...thanks for sharing. Never thought about this before.

 

So here is what I came up with ....

 

Extrovert - NO

 

Introvert - Absolutely !

 

Pervert - Absolutely !

[Nathalie L 112512]

Pervert - Absolutely !

 

I think everyone on CERB is a little perverted ;)

[castle 38816]

Hmmmm.......I now kinda want to change my handle to "Pervert Introvert"...or vice versa.

 

Additional Comments:

I too am very much an introvert. But the odd thing is all of my best friends seem to be extroverts. I tend to get along better with extroverts than with other introverts. Wonder why that is? Maybe it creates the perfect balance of "verts"? lol

[gralson 216]

Thank you for this.

I cant help but wonder how many times I`ve seen women that I considered attractive, but wrote them off at a glance as being to full of themselves by the way they presented themselves, often times tagging them as a bitch just by the facial expression.

These thoughts come with kind of a knife stab as I read parts of the article and wonder how many people think and have thought exactly the same of me.

 

I always believed I was an extrovert who became an introvert later in life, but looking back, even at the times when I was at my peak of being an entertainer, I went and hid some place quiet to (recharge) before rejoining the party.

 

Thank you for the awareness. Try as I might I can not come up with any words that I can put together that would express how deeply I mean that.

[andflemcol 3975]

I think everyone on CERB is a little perverted ;)

 

I refuse to comment on grounds of self incrimination.

 

I think I am like you Natalie in that I am more comfortable and get more enjoyment in a small and intimate setting. I find that opens the door to more deep and meaningful conversation because the discussion can become more personal. In a larger group, there has to be trust among more people to allow for more deep and personal conversation. That is harder to achieve.

[northerntantra 4671]

Wow! I had this very conversation -- about what it means to be an introvert -- with Sacha just last week.

 

People often mistake introverts for extroverts because they learn to "generate" a social persona. But you can usually spot them when you're with them in a group for several hours. When it's time for a break, the introverts tend to go off and be by themselves. The extroverts find each other and keep talking.

[Guest dame*****n09*]

I really responded to that article too.

 

We're badly served by the black or white way we tend to thing about introverts and extroverts. There's a spectrum, and we respond differently in different situations.

 

I used to think I was introverted, but I'm not really - just in comparison to the rest of my family! I was much happier and able to be more myself when I realized that.

[Guest dame*****n09*]

BTW there's some fine stuff on the internet re this. Here's a Macleans article http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/02/01/inside-the-quiet-revolution/

[Nathalie L 112512]

In a larger group, there has to be trust among more people to allow for more deep and personal conversation. That is harder to achieve.

 

I agree. I've had a few dinner parties with 6-8 people where I've had deep and intimate conversations, but they were my closest friends and they themselves didn't offer much about themselves (because they didn't know each other as well). It was nice for me, though!

 

Have you ever tried having a deep and intimate conversation in that kind of setting regardless? Divulging intimate details about your thoughts and feelings to spark a conversation that might please you more? It's been hit and miss for me, and makes some people feel uncomfortable!

 

We're badly served by the black or white way we tend to think about introverts and extroverts. There's a spectrum, and we respond differently in different situations.

 

There is a spectrum, I agree. For example, I can be great in bigger crowds of people, I simply choose not to engage. I find it too emotionally exhausting. However, some introverts can't at all.

[Code Blue 3585]

Could you perhaps be an introspective extrovert?

 

:icon_biggrin:

 

CB

[tokan 16826]

As an introvert I absolutely loved this article as to be honest I could totally relate to it and the situations it presented. I've always been more for smaller more intimate gatherings as I've never been one for small talk really but absolutely love getting into a deep conversation about a topic I'm passionate about. I do enjoy talking about my thoughts and feelings. And in those smaller gatherings it's just easier to to get into a deep meaningful conversation.

 

And I can totally relate to needing time to myself to recharge after going to a large gathering. To be honest I value my time to myself as much as I value time with my family and friends. It's not that I don't enjoy spending time with them I just enjoy having that time to myself to reflect or just recharge my batteries. Alone time also gives me a chance to let the idiot out in me and do stuff like rock out to my music full blast or watch some really bad movies that I may not get to watch otherwise, lol.

[sydmeister 100]

Thanks Nathalie for sharing. I definitely can identify with a lot that Jonathan, yourself and others here have said about being introverted. Nice to be able to understand it better. :)

[oldblueeyez 15475]

I am an introvert. My penis is an extrovert.

 

Actually, I'm an introhermit. I'm ecstatic that wireless has arrived to the backwoods of Nova Scotia; now I may read and post from my hut. Actually, I'm not ecstatic; never am; I am pleased.

[Mister T 45020]

Being somewhat of an introvert myself, this comes to mind ....