mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted October 9, 2012 Friendly within the confines of the game sure. After.....nope Peace MG What I meant to say was, I'd never expect to see a SP as a friend while we were having a client provider relationship, way too blurry for me. Friendly sure but friends....nope. My context was being or becoming friends after the SP retired and I still would think not. The one (s) I knew and was friendly with wanted to distance themselves from the game after retirement and I would be a reminder.....I'm cool with that. Peace MG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300291 Report post Posted October 9, 2012 Just a couple comments. First the comments about boundaries. Couldn't agree more. But in all our relationships, with family, civilian friends (for lack of a better term), business relationships, SP/Client relationships etc there are boundaries. Second, you may have a business relationship with someone who is also a friend. For example, your mechanic may be a friend, but if he fixes your truck, you still pay him, he isn't any less a friend is he Third, we, well I'm not talking about a SP/Client relationship evolving into romance. I'm talking about friends. Yes because of this lifestyle you are intimate with one another and even see each other naked, but you can still be friends, respect one another, trust each other, feel safe enough to discuss matters that friends would talk about (share aspects of each others lives) and so on. Could give examples of this but that would betray a trust and friendship Anyhow, a couple quick ramblings RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dave - WebGuy 597 Report post Posted October 9, 2012 I've been friends with a few SP's, but at the same time I'm not exactly on the same side of the fence as most clients. I think it'd be a little awkward to be socially active with someone who I was in a client/provider dynamic. It would be like a complicated version of friends with benefits. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frank7 3939 Report post Posted October 9, 2012 They both mean to accompany someone and they mean spending time with people. I do not get paid for having sex,I get paid for being a companion/friend and my time. What the client and I do with our time is our business. I have spent many lovely evenings with charming gentlemen which I would be more than happy to call my friend and they were more than happy to help a friend out by giving the expected donation. If I started giving out my services for free the person I'm seeing would no longer be my client. This person would enjoy being my friend without the perks of a paid companion. I didn't mean pay for sex. A dinner alone with a companion even without anything sexual or someone to go with at the job party,is well within an escort's job. That's why i used the word romantic. The last part is what i meant. Friends without the perks of a paid companion. If i ask a friend who happens to be an escort to help with moving to my new appartment, i don't expect to pay her any more then the people who answered by random facebook call. (so the pizza and beer) Just the natural i help you, you help me that friends do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted October 9, 2012 I didn't mean pay for sex. A dinner alone with a companion even without anything sexual or someone to go with at the job party,is well within an escort's job. That's why i used the word romantic. The last part is what I meant. Friends without the perks of a paid companion. If i ask a friend who happens to be an escort to help with moving to my new appartment, i don't expect to pay her any more then the people who answered by random facebook call. (so the pizza and beer) Just the natural i help you, you help me that friends do. Well sorry but escorts don't just have sex with their clients. We do many social things for example go to movies, go on bike rides ect,ect. I think Roamingguy explained it the best. We are paid to spend time with you first and foremost. What escorts and clients do with that time is up to them. So irregardless of what the client and escort does the escort should be paid. So I will politely agree to disagree and leave it at that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted October 9, 2012 I feel like if my client really cared about me enough to call me his friend that he would not put me in any kind of position by asking for free services. Escorts do have social fees. Absolutely. And so there's a fundamental asymmetry to this "being friends with an escort" thing. I'd be very happy if someone I'd met sent me a mail to say, "Hey, do you want to go for coffee?" (or whatever else it may be)... but I can't send a mail like that to any SP without looking like a client who's trying to get free time out of her, which I obviously have no wish to do. And there's also a risk on the SP's side if she does that; both people would need to be very clear about whether or not this is a one-off, and what the terms are (or will be) for a future meeting, and how the friendship and the provider/client relationship will co-exist in future. Pitfalls abound.... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Athos 108589 Report post Posted October 10, 2012 I consider the ladies I see as friends, but completely within the context of the "business relationship". I wouldn't presume anything else. We're friends to the extent that we care about each other and are interested in knowing about how the other is doing, and welcome the opportunity to catch up and reconnect. The only time I've had a friendship beyond that context is where a lady has retired from the business. We sometimes meet for lunch, or coffee. But now we are friends, and sex is off the table. It's one or the other, and can't be both. Porthos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Moviefan 1238 Report post Posted October 10, 2012 Anything is possible, when people are involved. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frank7 3939 Report post Posted October 10, 2012 Well sorry but escorts don't just have sex with their clients. That's exactly what i said.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300291 Report post Posted October 10, 2012 (edited) Free time...good lord. Well ladies that I see know with me when the SP/Client relationship is evolving, and we become regulars, and or friends, well the donation stays the same. But, well lets say I give gifts and tips, but with regulars/friends they are well, bigger. Never, at least for me, would I take food off a lady's table, make it hard for her to pay the rent, car payment, bills etc by trying to get free time. Anyone calling himself friend and does that, well he's really not much of a friend IMHO, more the prospective client who tries to negotiate down a lady's rate. Friendship should be it's own reward, it's own benefit...there shouldn't be ulterior motives to it (like free time) If you want to be a friend with a lady and she wants to be friends with you, because you like one another, accept it on those terms, with no special expectations in an encounter. Yes, the encounters you have with a friend are much more enjoyable, because, for lack of a better term, the SP/Client relationship is gone, and you are getting to see a friend again, someone you feel safe opening up with and she feels safe opening up with you...if that makes sense. And finally the confusion lies here for some I think. Encounters are social/intimate affairs. Friendship with a lady who is a professional companion involves a social (with a history of paid sexual intimacy) aspect, but it is intimate in the very broadest sense of the word. Again, as long as you can keep your head about you, yes, you can be IMHO friends with a lady who is a escort RG Edited October 11, 2012 by r__m__g_uy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newboy 4919 Report post Posted October 10, 2012 There are many different senarios in this thread regarding friendships between an SP and client. One that I think about all the time is this one. "Sure she is being my friend, but without the compensation, would she be?" We sometimes need a real friend, and is it real, or is it just happening because of the compensation? Of course we will never know, because if there is no compensation, there is no "friendship". A catch22 as one other poster refered to. In other words, is she your friend because you both have a true and real connection, or is she your friend because of the compensation. Perhaps a cynical look at things... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300291 Report post Posted October 10, 2012 There are many different senarios in this thread regarding friendships between an SP and client. One that I think about all the time is this one. "Sure she is being my friend, but without the compensation, would she be?" We sometimes need a real friend, and is it real, or is it just happening because of the compensation? Of course we will never know, because if there is no compensation, there is no "friendship". A catch22 as one other poster refered to. In other words, is she your friend because you both have a true and real connection, or is she your friend because of the compensation. Perhaps a cynical look at things... Actually a very good point. In my case, since I have to travel, all encounters, even those with ladies I consider friends, are paid encounters. A phone call to get together for a quick cup of coffee not possible. But it doesn't lessen IMHO the friendship. And I do accept the uniqueness of this lifestyle. But, for lack of a better word, the dynamics of an encounter with a lady who is an escort versus a lady who is a friend who is an escort is very much different. Don't know if that is an answer RG 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300291 Report post Posted October 12, 2012 Forgot to add, but that is a double edged sword. The question, would she be my friend without the compensation also conversely applies, would he be my friend without the sex. Just thought of it RG 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fortunateone 156618 Report post Posted October 12, 2012 Forgot to add, but that is a double edged sword. The question, would she be my friend without the compensation also conversely applies, would she be my friend without the sex.Just thought of it RG Now that is a good point. I often say you can be friendly, and be on great terms with someone, but they aren't necessarily your 'friends' by standard thick or thin definition. It is at heart a business relationship, and even in other businesses people may chat about a bunch of different things, or even have coffee and lunch, at the end of the day it is about maintaining the business relatioship even if you do have a lot in common. My friends know where I was born, where I grew up, the schools I attended, my real name, met my parents, met my syblings or other relatives (not all the time, but when it is possible), know where I live, and so on. They can see me without hair/makeup done, and without expectations of sexual favours being included with any meetings. They will continue to see me after I quit being an sp. Sometimes the mention of money is said like it is a bad thing. Without that exchange, keep in mind you never would have met in the first place. It shouldn't be the thing that measures if a friend is a friend or not, but rather the other things that really define what a real friendship is. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piano8950 32577 Report post Posted October 15, 2012 If I had a friend who happens to be an escort, I couldn't care less. If I'm seeing an escort, and we started being more friendly (non romantically, just casual mutual interests), I'd like to think that I'd be open enough to have no problems with it at all. But then being intimate with a person, and being friends with them, I'd be a bit cautious that I might develop some feelings for them. Not to say that I'd hit the brakes if an escort I see and I are becoming more friendly, I'd just like to be very careful at that point, and set up boundaries. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest S*ar* Report post Posted October 15, 2012 I see no reason why not. I have many female friends and I do not have sex with any of them. If a lady is an SP and we become friends "off the clock" then sex will not take place. I see nothing wrong with a platonic friendship developing, however both parties should be mature enough to live within and handle the boundries of it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frank7 3939 Report post Posted October 15, 2012 Now that is a good point. They can see me without hair/makeup done, and without expectations of sexual favours being included with any meetings. They will continue to see me after I quit being an sp. Sometimes the mention of money is said like it is a bad thing. Without that exchange, keep in mind you never would have met in the first place. It shouldn't be the thing that measures if a friend is a friend or not, but rather the other things that really define what a real friendship is. The bolded part is exactly what friends should be like. Sure you met the person because of the money exchange, but it shouldn't continue for friend time IMO. If you've met a friend at school, do you suddently stop being friend when school is done? When he's still a client, he must pay full price, but not the other times or if he stop being a client and become just a friend. Another way to look at it, i play DnD with a bunch of friends once a week. Around 5h-6h, some of the time actually playing, the rest just chilling and catching up. Lets say 5 hours for a round number time 200$ an hour, that's 1k per week. So roughtly 50k per year.... that's more then my full salary! Doesn't sound right... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted October 18, 2012 Being a friend is a very special thing. I am sorry to say this but it doesn't happen to every client. It takes a very strong trust in someone for this. It can happen and it does happen. Just respect the escort if it doesn't happen to you. Yes friendship is free but it also shouldn't have expectations attached to it. There is nothing more off putting than a client asking for you to go out with him without paying the social fee and then saying but I thought we were friends. It is hurtful to me and puts me in a bad place. (I can't talk for all the escorts) It makes me not want to see that client. All I'm saying is don't be insulated if the escort doesn't want to go out with you without the social fee and don't pursue it after she says no. The reason I say this is because I have had clients put me in this situation. I even had a client ask me to go out with him every time he saw me. He thought he was my friend and he thought he was entitled to get free time out of me. Although I enjoyed his company and I felt friendly with him. I did not want to pursue this relationship out side the bedroom. Long story short I no longer see this client. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Athos 108589 Report post Posted October 18, 2012 Being a friend is a very special thing. I am sorry to say this but it doesn't happen to every client. It takes a very strong trust in someone for this. It can happen and it does happen. Just respect the escort if it doesn't happen to you. Yes friendship is free but it also shouldn't have expectations attached to it. There is nothing more off putting than a client asking for you to go out with him without paying the social fee and then saying but I thought we were friends. It is hurtful to me and puts me in a bad place. (I can't talk for all the escorts) It makes me not want to see that client. All I'm saying is don't be insulated if the escort doesn't want to go out with you without the social fee and don't pursue it after she says no. The reason I say this is because I have had clients put me in this situation. I even had a client ask me to go out with him every time he saw me. He thought he was my friend and he thought he was entitled to get free time out of me. Although I enjoyed his company and I felt friendly with him. I did not want to pursue this relationship out side the bedroom. Long story short I no longer see this client. The result of this behaviour almost always means that the lady declines to see the client again. The client by trying to exploit a friendship, creates a situation where both sides lose a valued and sexy "business" relationship. The thing we all have to remember, is that exploiting friendships, leads to friendships ending. That happens in all sorts of contexts. I can be friends with my lawyer, but if I'm on the golf course and start asking questions about my legal issues, I should expect a bill for those services. Legal advice isn't free. And if I continue to do it, I should not be surprised if my lawyer soon suggests that, rather than getting together for a round of golf, I make an appointment to see him at the office. Same thing here ... but of course the sexual nature of the services makes it far more complex, and hurt feelings on the part of client usually makes it far preferable to just sever the relationship. Respect, respect, respect. Respect the lovely ladies as service providers. And if you are lucky enough to become friends outside of that, then respect the parameters there as well. I would never suggest time off the clock. If a lady suggests it to me, well that's a different thing. I'm flattered and honoured. But I am fully aware that it involves nothing more than the time for the cup of coffee or lunch. Nothing beyond that. 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
localguy67 100 Report post Posted October 18, 2012 I really don't think so..... My best friend became a SP.... Yes and I must say, I did partake. Was probably her first client..... The friendship ended..... If she never became a provider we still may be friends maybe not... But ti didn't help the situation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kechara 2526 Report post Posted October 18, 2012 I have been reading this thread for a while and finally decided to comment. Years ago when I was a bartender in a SC a lot of the dancers were friends. When I went to where they were working if I sat in the front row when they were on stage they would stop and send me off to somewhere else in the club.:) I do think that a SP and client could become friends. Both are people and it can always go that way. I personally don't think it is likely. We can end up with a type of friendship that I call a business friendship. Liking beeing around each other, but only really on business time. For myself, if it was to switch over to real friendship it would not be a matter of me trying to spend time with the SP for free since that business relationship would also be over. This is a special type of industry, and the other reality is I don't pay my friends to ummm.. sleep with me... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
newboy 4919 Report post Posted October 18, 2012 Very interesting thread. It is good to see the many different viewpoints. I myself have been asking myself this very same question for sometime now. In reading the posts in this thread, it has helped me to think and to realize. It is possible to be friends with an SP, but in most cases it would be considered to be a "non-traditional" type of friendship as far as mainstream society goes. I think a "traditional" friendship would not be something that would happen often. My 2 cents. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frank7 3939 Report post Posted October 18, 2012 I really don't think so..... My best friend became a SP.... Yes and I must say, I did partake. Was probably her first client..... The friendship ended..... If she never became a provider we still may be friends maybe not... But ti didn't help the situation. I'm kinda curious why it ended, if you don't mind answering. Was it on her side, on your side or did both of you felt ackward after that? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ice4fun 78396 Report post Posted January 27, 2014 I have met a number of SP's, a few I have met on multiple occasions and have formed what I would call a Client Friendship... we know a fair bit about each other and are very comfortable with each other..in all of these cases I would expect that this friendship would only continue to exist while I am a client and neither of us have expectation that the friendship is anything other than what it is a fully matured business relationship. Now having said that... I have, I think, formed a much deeper personal friendship with one lady I have met... in this case the lady has over time come to know more about me than many of my long term civilian friends. We have chatted and shared and supported each other over the time we have known each other and I think that "friend" part of our relationship could continue even if our business relationship ended...lol.... but to be honest the only way to know that would be to end our business relationship but...i would have to be Stupid to do that. What I have always understood about our relationship is that I would be neither a Friend or a good client if expected her to share her time or her services with me for free or at a discount So I have always tried to ensure that I never make her feel like I have taken her for granted.... my respect for her and for our friendship requires that I take responsibility for this. Are we actually friends.... i think we are... but really does it even matter... it is a relationship that adds value in my life... Fuck that's more than enough for me. Just my opinion. 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest c**io**m7 Report post Posted January 28, 2014 Real friendships can certainly blossom from the client/provider relationship. The key is...once the friendship begins, the service ends...at least in my case...and I am good with that. In fact, I have a few friends to whom I was once a client. One in particular, we will get together for coffee or lunch once in a while...no services, just shoot the shit, talk about life and, recently, her joy about a man she has recently started dating. More than one provider has trusted me enough with their personal information and I trust enough to provide mine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
