Advice for Gentlemen ... A "Do Not Do" List

[MandalayBay 575]

Those links to write ups were a little sad to read. She sounds so angry and bitter. (I mean no disrespect to her as everyone has different experiences and should not be judged as all feelings should be respected.)

 

I hope this doesn't come across as weird, but I look at my clients as men I am in relationships with. I love hearing about their thoughts and feelings. I also don't mind sharing personal things about myself after trust has built up.

 

If there comes a time when I am as angry as the woman who wrote that link, I will probably walk away from the industry.

[MandalayBay 575]

I just thought of one other "Do Not Do" piece of advice for gentlemen.

 

Please do not tell me about your financial limitations and try to coerce me into agreeing to discount my rates for you because you're special. If you can't afford my rates, you shouldn't be contacting me in the first place.

 

You wouldn't show up at a fancy restaurant and bellyache about how hungry you are and why you are entitled to their high-end cuisine ... but should only pay the price of a McDonald's burger.

 

Please don't do that to service providers. It is very insulting, makes us uncomfortable and in my case will result in my never seeing you again.

 

I have invested thousands of dollars into providing my lovers with items that make your time with me a memorable experience. i.e. perfumes, sexy lingerie, stereo sound system, quality wine, chocolate, fresh fruit etc. I am even about to introduce the service of arriving with a 17-inch screen laptop computer filled with erotic porn to suit the needs of every man's desire.

[YoungStud 468]

I'm not sure why clients would need to be looking at porn on a computer screen when they have a much better reality right there in the room with them, but certainly sounds like you've thought of everything.

[Suzirider 737]

the needs of every man's desire.

 

Dear Lady, with respect, you should qualify that a little bit more.

(with clients I know and trust ?)

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I just thought of one other "Do Not Do" piece of advice for gentlemen.

 

Please do not tell me about your financial limitations and try to coerce me into agreeing to discount my rates for you because you're special. If you can't afford my rates, you shouldn't be contacting me in the first place.

 

Hear, hear! I agree whole-heartedly, Mandalay. If a man can't afford what I charge, he should either wait until he can afford me or he should find someone else. In terms of cash-flow, to him this may be a luxury; to me, it's how I make a living.

 

I'd also like to add a few things to the list of "Do Nots." Please don't ask me how many men I've seen today, or this week, or this month, and don't ask me how much I earn every month or year. It's none of your business. I do make a good living. I work damn hard for it, too. I don't object to working hard--not at all--but anyone who thinks that most escorts spend their time just lying back in bed has no idea of the time, energy and planning that goes into this profession every day. Plenty of beautiful, desirable women quit because they don't want to work so hard to be successful.

 

Please enjoy your time with me. But don't assume that if you're with me for a couple of hours, I will or won't see anyone else today, tomorrow, or even this week for as long or longer. Remarkable as it may seem, I make choices not only on the basis of my income but also on the basis of my mental and emotional energy.

 

And please don't offer to give me financial advice or to help me plan my retirement. I do have help with these things. None of my advisers are clients and I don't trade services in such matters. That would be a significant conflict of interest, not to mention that it would introduce a serious inequity into our relationship. After all, are you ready to make your financial life and plans transparent to me? 'Nuff said!

[MandalayBay 575]

I'm not sure why clients would need to be looking at porn on a computer screen when they have a much better reality right there in the room with them, but certainly sounds like you've thought of everything.

 

You have a great point YoungStud, but it would be fun (if he so desires) to spend a few minutes watching pornography while laying in bed together playing, touching and enjoying each other. If he has a foot fetish, I will try to ensure I have porn about that. If he likes watching women squirt (which I haven't done yet, but sure am having fun trying to do) then I would provide videos of that. It's another way of making foreplay fun. Some men may want it. Others may not. But it adds extra value to my service, so why not offer it.

 

Dear Lady, with respect, you should qualify that a little bit more.

(with clients I know and trust ?)

 

What I mean by that is that I am probably not going to go bantering into a hotel room or house of a new client with my expensive audio system and 17-inch laptop computer. Doing so may put me at risk for being robbed, so I would probably leave the laptop in my trunk at first until I feel safe and like I'm not putting myself in danger by showing up with so much expensive equipment on me.

[Jackie James 215]

Even though I'm quite tiny, bending me in half is just not going to work. :p

Please, don't even try!

[smitty_McFlung 290]

wow...now that mkes feel pretty shitty...lol

[YoungStud 468]

Even though I'm quite tiny, bending me in half is just not going to work. :p

Please, don't even try!

 

Nope, won't even try. There's just too many other things I could think of doing with someone who looks as sweet and cute as you.

[Annessa 22743]

I've had a bit of a run this week with non-cerb members (just in case a couple think I'm talking about them) using my number to call or text me too much. if its not for business, no offense but I can't talk...dont get offended. I even had one client text me back "oh so its like that eh? lol"

 

it is like that

 

I'm a really nice person, but this week I've just had it with clients not respecting that using my phone number is a privilege...not a right. I have clients wishing me well on my trips afar or calling coz they wonder if I took their last email the wrong way and they just want to make sure etc....it used to be cute but suddenly I'm 5 mins away from being picked up from my driver and am running late and the phone rings, I answer, thiniking it might be important and it someone calling "to talk"....!!?? or my inbox is full of voicemail/text messages one after the other.....denying other clients from being able to call me for work.....even-more.."!!!?"

 

clients I love you all, but you have to realize that I have to enjoy my time away from you as well...otherwise the time we spend together will not be special. Also, everyone else deserves the same respect and time and as much as you love your time with me, you'd certainly hate it if someone's phonecalls permitted you from seeing me...right? Just something to put out there, because not every guy thinks about the other joe.

 

we are wonderful women but just putting it out there that its also a business and every hobbiest has to respect the other clients.

 

ps.. did I mention I love my clients...love yous!! :-)

(not bitter at all here, just trying to make it a better place for everyone)

 

xo

[paris@4play 100]

DO NOT call my on my cellphone @ 4 in the morning OR WHEN I AM NOT WORKING

(when I have already told you before I work until 11 pm)

and wake me from my sleep.

(then make me wait for 45 minutes for you cuz your "lost"

then you turn off your phone? WTF)

THIS IS EXTREMELY RUDE.

its isn't 1 800 - hoe 4 u 24 /7

I'm a human being and I need my sleep and "me time" as well.

 

 

DO NOT call unless you have a serious inquiry

how would you feel if someone thought YOUR business was a joke?

 

 

DO NOT try and offer me extra money for BB

when Ive already told you I do not do that.

 

 

 

i can think of so many more but its 4 in the morning (SEE POINT #1) UGHH!!!:evil:

[MandalayBay 575]

I've had a bit of a run this week with non-cerb members (just in case a couple think I'm talking about them) using my number to call or text me too much. if its not for business, no offense but I can't talk...dont get offended. I even had one client text me back "oh so its like that eh? lol"

 

it is like that

 

I'm a really nice person, but this week I've just had it with clients not respecting that using my phone number is a privilege...not a right. I have clients wishing me well on my trips afar or calling coz they wonder if I took their last email the wrong way and they just want to make sure etc....it used to be cute but suddenly I'm 5 mins away from being picked up from my driver and am running late and the phone rings, I answer, thiniking it might be important and it someone calling "to talk"....!!?? or my inbox is full of voicemail/text messages one after the other.....denying other clients from being able to call me for work.....even-more.."!!!?"

 

clients I love you all, but you have to realize that I have to enjoy my time away from you as well...otherwise the time we spend together will not be special. Also, everyone else deserves the same respect and time and as much as you love your time with me, you'd certainly hate it if someone's phonecalls permitted you from seeing me...right? Just something to put out there, because not every guy thinks about the other joe.

 

we are wonderful women but just putting it out there that its also a business and every hobbiest has to respect the other clients.

 

ps.. did I mention I love my clients...love yous!! :-)

(not bitter at all here, just trying to make it a better place for everyone)

 

xo

 

 

This is a great post.

 

I love my clients as well, but nothing makes me more uncomfortable when someone asks me to do a non-paid activity outside our client/sp relationship.

 

If I want to befriend a client outside our working relationship (i.e. talking on the phone, instant messaging, doing activities as friends) I will make the first move. Having a client make the first move in trying to do this puts me in a very uncomfortable situation.

 

As much as I enjoy the company of my clients, I am also a mother ... a small business owner (outside this industry) ... run a household ... a committed daughter/sibling ... a volunteer ... a good citizen. I can only do so much and only have so much time in the day.

[alexgrenyait 2186]

i love this post and know exactly where the ladies are coming from...i couldnt agree more.xoxo

[alexgrenyait 2186]

after a bit of thought i had to add that when clients ask questions like how long would you like me to stay?or for overnights or dinner dates or countless unnecessary phone calls it makes me extremely uncomfortable...i have had to stop seeing many because of this it is unfortunate as everything was great until these questions came up.so to avoid awkwardness i choose to not see them.this has happened to me many times.i had one client very nice man and then he wanted overnight visits,dinner dates when i brought up the question of payment it was never the same so i had to stop seeing him.i like fun not stress:-D

[etasman2000 15994]

we are wonderful women but just putting it out there that its also a business and every hobbiest has to respect the other clients.

 

Well put!

 

I would add 'every hobbiest has to respect the SP as well'. Especially her downtime away.

 

This was driven home yesterday when I took a me-day. Went to a seminar, chilled out downtown, window shopped, browsed Chapters etc and today I'm ready for work again.

[Guest i***k***]

I'll add one... Don't try to extend your stay unless the lady has agreed to the possibility. Also ensure you have the cash to cover the extra time, I know it sounds like common sense but I've heard of guys staying an extra hour and not paying cause they didn't have the money with them...

[PistolPete 61421]

i like fun not stress:-D

 

 

You are very smart lady and well said! We are the same... both enjoy the fun part...after all that is what it is all about, enjoying each others company, not the drama, stress that impedes on great dates!

[Sputy 128]

I work damn hard for it, too. I don't object to working hard--not at all--but anyone who thinks that most escorts spend their time just lying back in bed has no idea of the time, energy and planning that goes into this profession every day.

 

I think it probably safe to say that most people do not understand the incredible emotional fortitude required for your profession. I know that I couldn't do it. Think about the stress of meeting new people all the time. The burden of always having to put THEIR needs and feelings first. Of making some guy feel like he's special and so wonderful when clearly he is not. Of having to be 'on' even when other things around you require your attention. And I haven't even mentioned the physical aspect! To which it genuinely bewilders me how you can do it.

 

I gotta vent: for GAWDS SAKE, are we not evolved enough to LEGISLATE AND REGULATE this huge industry??? :-x I know some of you lurkers (and maybe some of you Ottawa posters?) are politicos. Our current treatment of this industry will be perceived as the dark ages by future generations. Who among you will bring us the into the light? Oh, and legalize pot while your at it.:-P (Mmmm, Vote for Sputy, nice ring to it?!)

 

 

I'm not sure why clients would need to be looking at porn on a computer screen when they have a much better reality right there in the room with them, but certainly sounds like you've thought of everything.

 

YoungStud, At one point I would've wholeheartly agreed with you on this. But I have to admit that I recently participated in one activity that I was 100% sure would not turn me on..... turns out I wasn't 100%! I guess my eyes have been cracked just a little wider open.

[MandalayBay 575]

I think it probably safe to say that most people do not understand the incredible emotional fortitude required for your profession. I know that I couldn't do it. Think about the stress of meeting new people all the time. The burden of always having to put THEIR needs and feelings first. Of making some guy feel like he's special and so wonderful when clearly he is not. Of having to be 'on' even when other things around you require your attention. And I haven't even mentioned the physical aspect! To which it genuinely bewilders me how you can do it.

 

I gotta vent: for GAWDS SAKE, are we not evolved enough to LEGISLATE AND REGULATE this huge industry??? :-x I know some of you lurkers (and maybe some of you Ottawa posters?) are politicos. Our current treatment of this industry will be perceived as the dark ages by future generations. Who among you will bring us the into the light? Oh, and legalize pot while your at it.:-P (Mmmm, Vote for Sputy, nice ring to it?!)

 

 

YoungStud, At one point I would've wholeheartly agreed with you on this. But I have to admit that I recently participated in one activity that I was 100% sure would not turn me on..... turns out I wasn't 100%! I guess my eyes have been cracked just a little wider open.

 

You would make an amazing politician Sputy! I could be your campaign manager and perhaps the other SPs and I could create a political burma shave (standing on the street, cheering, waving and hold signs to vote for SPUTY) in bikinis. This could actually work! SPUTY for prime minister!

[VedaSloan 119179]

You would make an amazing politician Sputy! I could be your campaign manager and perhaps the other SPs and I could create a political burma shave (standing on the street, cheering, waving and hold signs to vote for SPUTY) in bikinis. This could actually work! SPUTY for prime minister!

 

 

Ha, I'm down. SPUTY for the win!

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I gotta vent: for GAWDS SAKE, are we not evolved enough to LEGISLATE AND REGULATE this huge industry??? :-x I know some of you lurkers (and maybe some of you Ottawa posters?) are politicos. Our current treatment of this industry will be perceived as the dark ages by future generations. Who among you will bring us the into the light?

 

I understand your energy and I appreciate the concern and care that's behind it, Sputy, but I'm not in favour of legislating and regulating this profession. Decriminalizing it, yes. But I don't want the government to have more control over whether, how or where I work, which is what I'd be concerned would happen.

[buggernot 588]

I gotta vent: for GAWDS SAKE, are we not evolved enough to LEGISLATE AND REGULATE this huge industry??? :-x I know some of you lurkers (and maybe some of you Ottawa posters?) are politicos. Our current treatment of this industry will be perceived as the dark ages by future generations. Who among you will bring us the into the light?

 

I'd love to help, but I don't think anything I do will be very popular right now.

 

Sincerely,

Larry O'Brien

[Ava Foxx 1747]

I just thought of a "Do Not Do". If you call and I tell you that I am done working for the day, please to not beg and plead and tell me that you can be here in 10 minutes. Would you call the owner of a restaurant, AFTER it's closed and ask him/her to go back and open the place, turn on the stoves, the ovens, the fans, etc, etc, just because you want something from their restaurant? And do you honestly think they'd agree to it??? Of course not. Just because I work from home, does not mean that I am open 24/7. When I am done for the day, I go into "me" mode and that's where I want to stay until the next day :smile:.

[fortunateone 156618]

I understand your energy and I appreciate the concern and care that's behind it, Sputy, but I'm not in favour of legislating and regulating this profession. Decriminalizing it, yes. But I don't want the government to have more control over whether, how or where I work, which is what I'd be concerned would happen.

 

Prostitution (exchange of $ for sex) isn't illegal now, so there is nothing to decriminalize. This is one subject that irritated me when I read news stories on that Malerek book, where it is actually stated that prostitution in Canada is illegal. It isn't, nor is having a phone discussion of rates and services illegal. It is very annoying that people outside of this industry publish such misleading information (rant over)

 

What would be nice is to allow the SWs a safe place to work, so that they can discuss rates & services without violating the law against solicitation in public. Outside of Vancouver, some of the city bylaws are ridiculous, and IMO actually contradict the federal laws re: prostitution. Edmonton seems to have a set up that is ideal, for both clients and workers. Requiring individual biz licenses for the workers, and most of the activity in massage parlours.

[Annessa 22743]

within the past hour alone after posting my availability for the first time in schedules I am very sullen to add one more to the pile...

 

*sigh*... maybe not so much of a do NOT do...but a DO

 

please please please please PLEASE read my ad in full before asking questions such as "where is your incall location?" when it states IN BOLD on my ad that my services until mid June are OUTCALL only....asking if I'm available at 7pm when it also states that this weekend I'm only available after 9pm...etc etc etc.

 

taking a few extra seconds to read over a lady's ad instead of skimming her description and then going straight for her pics saves us all time, and as we've all realized in this industry, time is money

 

by the time I've gotten to the fourth or so message like this, I'm in a terrible mood...that mood rubs off on the next client that I may be short with by accident in PMs or expecting to hear more stupid questions from what might be genuinely a truly interested customer.