Do hobbyists prefer dominant or submissive sp's

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'm not referring to bdsm, I'm wondering if most hobbyists like to give up control of the session to the sp by allowing her to take the lead, to be the one who initiates the sex and so on, to be the more aggressive one. Its my conclusion that most hobbyists want the sp to take the lead, what are your thoughts :)

[DukeSSk 3430]

I like when the ladies are slightly more dominant, it just gives a better impression that I'm their "guest".

[roamingguy 300291]

In my first and second encounters with a lady, I let the lady lead. You may not know her boundaries well enough to initiate. It's not so much about me giving up control as it is a question is the lady willing to give up her control to someone she doesn't know

A rambling

RG

[Brad 49548]

I'd agree with you, Cristy.

 

Especially for a first meeting, I'm more comfortable if the Lady takes the initiative. The way I see it I can't accidentally go past her boundaries, or initiate an activity or pace she might not prefer.

 

Which isn't to say I want to stand quietly being directed step by step, just that initially any requests I make will tend to be diffidently spoken--suggestions, not orders; and I'm likely to test the waters so to speak with different activities. You can usually then tell from the Lady's reaction if it's something she enjoys or if you need to slow down or try something else. Does a light spank get a happy wiggle and a moan or...quiet. If I lightly grab your hair do you speed up or pull back. I'm more willing to take the lead with a Lady who is open and willing to share feedback about her preferences and what isn't working, what is working, and what is *really* working!

 

I imagine I'd also be more willing to take the lead if it was an SP I'd already seen, and so have a sense of her likes and preferences. Once I feel I know the pacing, moves, and touch she prefers, taking the lead would come more naturally. There's no fear any longer of making a misstep.

 

There is another reason though why I imagine many like it when the SP takes the initiative. It's about feeling desired. When the other person makes the first moves, takes things to another level, asks for more--it makes you feel like they want you and you excite them. It makes you feel sexy. And who, after all, doesn't like the sensation that you turn someone on?

[stratero 110]

The SP should show her interest by both responding and initiating.

[CristyCurves 169032]

 

 

There is another reason though why I imagine many like it when the SP takes the initiative. It's about feeling desired. When the other person makes the first moves, takes things to another level, asks for more--it makes you feel like they want you and you excite them. It makes you feel sexy. And who, after all, doesn't like the sensation that you turn someone on?

 

Interesting, I would have never thought of that. As I always thought it were just women who had the need to be desired, I still have a lot to learn, it seems:) But I can certainly relate as this is why I like the man to lead, that and the fact that I find a strong, dominant man sexy:)

[Guest p**h*x]

Yeah, I prefer to let the lady lead the way. Plain and simple it turns me on. I also feel a little more comfortable especially if it is the first few meetings. Plus, as Brad mentioned, I like the feeling of being desired. Particularly with a lady that is super freaking hot! I know that isn't too eloquent but it's true. Part of the fantasy is to be with the ultra attractive women that I'd unlikely get in the real world. lol

[theliquor (Lost but not fo 50595]

I LOVE to play with a Lady who takes the lead, challenging me to either push myself or the boundaries upon which we have agreed upon.

Of course, only if she wants....

[piano8950 32577]

Basically, the more I see her, the more I'd be comfortable taking control. I'm completely fine with her leading the way in the beginning.

[futileresistenz 28253]

As a few have said already, in the initial encounter, it is the lady that should lead, until the client feels comfortable doing the same. After that, I don't have a preference, and would hope it would be a fair mix of both.

 

Not to attempt a hijack, but to add to the discussion: Depending on your thoughts about whether FS is on the menu in a first situation or not (I am completely fine if it isn't), how would one proceed if the hands-off approach wasn't working? I guess letting your other know what you'd like would be the way to find out if the lady is agreeable to fulfill your wishes, although not everyone is comfortable doing this with a (still almost) virtual stranger.

 

I'll let the OP and other commenters weigh in on whether it's topical to discuss that in this thread and open a new one if needed.

FR

[Frank7 3939]

The lady that takes the lead! As others as said, it makes you feel desired, something that rarely happens outside of cerb. And hopefully, she'll choose to start things she likes, not just what she thinks you want.

 

I'm never comfortable with someone submissive, here or in my personal life. If there needs to be a sub/dom relation, it's my job to be the sub. :P

[danjo 257]

I am a bit shy, and appreciate and get really turned on when the provider takes the lead, especially in a naughty way. It is my greatest pleasure to give my partner pleasure.

[Guest B**na***oy]

To me, the perfect scenario is when the chemistry is just right and we alternate in taking the lead and being submissive. That way, during the course of a single encounter, we can both experience a much broader range of emotions and feelings.

 

I like to give as much if not more as receiving and when the right balance is reached, it's very rewarding. We can then stop and have a nice pillow talk in each others arms. It's so good. ;-)

[Guest webothscore]

As I like to do my homework first, I would already have an idea, but don't want to spoil the surprise too much. If I can't tell, I will adapt to the situation. I can lead or be led. Both can be enjoyable.

[PhantomKnight 7914]

I'd rather be dominated... Err I mean have the lady take control.

 

Maybe it's just because at home I'm always suppose to take the reigns that once in a while it feels good to just be in the other shoes!!!!

[Wolf Knight 29667]

As has been mentioned before, in the first couple of meetings with a lady I prefer to let her lead the encounter so that I can understand her style and boundaries. I hate trial and error type situations especially in this business and I'm a little concerned that being too forward with a lady you don't really know could come off as aggressive and might make the lady uncomfortable in my company. That is definitely not a tone that I want to set.

 

I'm a natural dominant type personality and prefer to lead so after the first couple of meetings I will take the lead for the future encounters.

[aki4032 514]

I prefer to have the SP be submissive. However, I am cogniznant that there is a significant amount of trust required for the SP to feel comfortable and secure. To that end, I usually seek out providers that advertise sub services but usually let her take the lead until she knows she can trust me and she feels comfortable - put another way, until we have build up a relationship. For me, that's why I stick to the gals I have built up a longer term trust. I too have to get comfortable with an SP and know her likes and dislikes before I can enjoy the encouter.

[olderguy 5797]

Unfortunately (or perhaps in some ways fortunately) I'm at a stage of my life and career that I find myself in the position of being "in charge". As a result I really enjoy it when a lady to takes control. In some strange way it is liberating.

I agree with the other posters - it does make one feel wanted.

[PistolPete 61421]

BOTH!

 

You really have to experience it from both sides of being the dominant one or the submissive. If you are going to be the sub, you must trust your partner for what ever play you want to get into, may it be gentle lay back and let me take care of you sex, OR a little bit more fun play ie blindfolded,hand cuffed,pin wheels used,nipple clamps,clothes pins,feathers, ice cubes.

 

I've enjoyed my share of being the dominate one, or allowing the lady take charge, but if she is going to take charge, the attitude has to come along with it.

 

I like also taking charge with a lady, telling her what to do,i.e. get on the bed,spread your legs,well you know...I like her to lay back and enjoy herself immensely too.

 

So I like BOTH.

 

 

 

 

I'm not referring to bdsm, I'm wondering if most hobbyists like to give up control of the session to the sp by allowing her to take the lead, to be the one who initiates the sex and so on, to be the more aggressive one. Its my conclusion that most hobbyists want the sp to take the lead, what are your thoughts :)

[CristyCurves 169032]

I'd rather be dominated... Err I mean have the lady take control.

 

Maybe it's just because at home I'm always suppose to take the reigns that once in a while it feels good to just be in the other shoes!!!!

 

I sincerely want to thank all who responded as I've been surprised and thankfully educated and now informed. This above response was the main reason I thought men wanted to give up "the lead" I had no idea and feel rather silly for it, for not realizing that men need to be desired and need to see and feel that on a session. I guess I still have old thoughts and ideas such as- if a guy gets sucked and fucked, excuse my bluntness- that he'll be happy. Obviously, and hence the gfe, men want passion just as much and maybe even more than women. Thanks for enlightening me. For me the wonderful and most exciting aspect of these relationships is the learning process, As in life every moment/session is a new one and something can be learned from it. To the men that like to be dominant or take the lead-yum!!:biggrin:No matter the role one takes on understanding one another is the first and most important step, then chemistry, then fireworks, then big smiles-enjoy everyone and thanks.

[mrgreen760 37785]

I like her to be engaged and interested.....the rest will take care of itself..

 

Peace

MG

[LadyTY2Uall 355]

My personal experience has been that men who have Dominant positions at work typically want to set that responsibility aside and let the Provider take the lead. They have so many responsibilities at work and at home that they need to put down the reigns and just enjoy. I can almost hear the sigh of relief as my guys lay back and let me take charge lol. And yes, showing him that he is desireable and sexy and worthy of pampering is the ultimate result. Watching a man walk out with his chin up, his shoulders back and that 'smile' on his face is one of the best parts of my job. :)

[someguy 67067]

For a first time session, I prefer the lady to take the lead, take the first kiss, undress me, I am shy, and if I don't know the lady and don't know what is allowed. I like the lady to set the mood for the date. If there is chemistry and it looks like we are getting along, I will get more involved and take more control.

It depends on the woman and YMMV. But I am not a aggressive man and am happy to have the lady take the lead. I've always had an enjoyable time.

They seem to know what they are doing and how to treat a man :)

[Guest D***el B***e]

First question I have ... define dominant, define submissive!!!!

 

I am more of a gentle person that doesn't have a lot of 'strange' requests ... I currently only see MAs and think of it as being there for a good time, not a long time. Definitely an MA would kind of take the lead, by the obvious position she's in ... So my answer will probably leave you wondering but I would tend to prefer a dominant MA and a submissive SP. If I see an MA, I am putting myself in her capable hands, where if I see a SP is because I may have something I want to do or try, and I would want her to be more submissive to my demands ... of course within reasonable limits. Does that make any sense or if I should draw a picture! lol lol

[LeeRichards 177238]

Oh for heaven's sakes take me ladies ! Take Me Take ME ! Have your way with me !

 

Be gentle ! But then again a damn good spankin is A Okay too !!! Oh hell do what you want to me :) hehe

 

This make me submissive ??