Terminal

[Fresh start 17467]

Today I went to have a test done at the hospital. After several technician and a doctor having to perform the same test, I started to get the vibe like something wrong and they needed second and third opinion. I'm probably worried for nothing but for the next 3 weeks I have to wait for a call from the doctor to give me the results. Since at the hospital they cannot disclose to me the information which usual if everything is ok they say so. Anyways it got me thinking what if I find out I am terminal? What would I do? I'm not even sure I would tell people just to spare the grief. So what would you do if you found out you're terminal and had lets say a 1 year left.?

[Guest]

I try to live my life to the fullest. If an opportunity for me to be happy or to have fun comes up I size the moment. If I ever got sick I would act and do what Charlize Theron did in Sweet November and stay out of the hospital and try to make the best of things, if I'm going to die I would want to do it in my own house with the people I love.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm249Zbv42Y

 

I wish both you(Empty) and Boomer the best. Try to stay happy, although it's hard to do in a situation like this, hugs.

[Boomer 33202]

I am in a similar situation. I have done three diagnostic tests and am waiting to see what the results of last weeks MRI mean. I am pretty certain that I'll be off to see a new specialist, but at the end of the day I expect that the resulting diagnosis could be fairly serious.

 

So how to handle it. My wife's gone, and the children have moved on, but I look at my life and think it's been a success. I am north of sixty five, so have come to expect that my medical condition will be an issue, but will not get too exited about any diagnosis until it's made. If worse comes to pass I'll make sure to enjoy life and plan my exit on my terms.

 

I won't hide it from the family, far better to include them.

[roamingguy 300291]

If it was me, I'd retire and use my severance pay and pension to enjoy life to the fullest.

Now if diagnosed, tell your family and friends. Don't keep the diagnosis a secret till too late. My dad kept his leukemia, as we just recently found out, a secret to everyone but his wife, for over a year. We just found out in December, but he had it for over twelve months at that point.

Your family and friends want to know because they care.

And you can have some quality visits with family/friends

Tomorrow morning heading to Nova Scotia, seeing dad one last time, official prognosis, weeks to months, but doctor's guess, days to weeks

Prayers are with you

RG

[CristyCurves 169032]

Ohh Empty I'm sorry you have to think about that and wait, I'm thinking of you, stay positive:)

Not much anyone can do when its time its time, my first concern is what would happen to my dogs, to find them a new home, that itself would probably do me in quicker then the terminal illness. Its always best to stay positive as even with a terminal diagnosis some can survive, miracles happen:)

[Fresh start 17467]

Thanks for all your concerns its probably nothing or something easily fixable, I'm not too worried, its just the unknown and waiting part I believe is the hard part. Then it just got me thinking being still so young I would probably would just go out and live every moment to the fullest like it was my last. I'm still don't think I would tell people I've seen people close die suddenly and unexpectedly sure it hurts but a lot less than watching someone die slowly and you know they're dying. That just me though.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

My thoughts are with you as I know the waiting can be agonizing.

 

As far as what I would do....sell off everything and spend it all (hoping that I wasn't misdiagnosed!)

[chevysrlemons 110]

I don't agree with keeping it a compete secret. Immediate family should know so you can get quality time together but it doesn't need to be public knowledge.

Went through that with my Dad. Was good to know while he was strong enough that we could spend more time together.

[roamingguy 300291]

Thanks for all your concerns its probably nothing or something easily fixable, I'm not too worried, its just the unknown and waiting part I believe is the hard part. Then it just got me thinking being still so young I would probably would just go out and live every moment to the fullest like it was my last. I'm still don't think I would tell people I've seen people close die suddenly and unexpectedly sure it hurts but a lot less than watching someone die slowly and you know they're dying. That just me though.

 

First I understand and sympathize about the unknown. Back in 2007 I was told I had a mole on my back which looked malignant. I had to get it biopsied. The plastic surgeon doing the biopsy said the results would take three weeks. Well except for a sore, well really damn sore back, the first week I was fine. Second week, then it started playing on my mind, especially wondering why it was taking so long to get the results, even though I was told it would take three weeks. Finally when I got the results (no skin cancer btw) well first a relief, but well, why the hell did it take so long...and three weeks is long under those circumstances

Second, just my opinion, from someone right now on the opposite side. Tell your family/friends. Really it's not a burden to them, they are people that care about you, and they care not just in the good times, but in the bad. And they'll ask "why didn't he say something to us sooner" I wish dad had said something sooner, when he was first diagnosed with leukemia, now over a year and half ago, instead of last December...and even then he minimized it, until just before Christmas and told us he also had lung and bone cancer and how serious and terminal the cancer was.

RG

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

The hardest thing about dealing with both potential issues with ourselves and loved ones and everything else in life is keeping our mind in check. Our ego has a mind of it's own and starts up all the fear talk or the what if's and it can near about drive you mad if it's not reigned in. Such a difficult thing to do.

 

@Empty 83, try not to dwell on it if you can, keep busy, distracted and focus on the good. Worry doesn't help anyone and can in fact tear down the good within us if we let it.

 

@Roamingguy, I know I said this before but my heart goes out to you. Waiting for things to happen and knowing they will but not when is difficult. I'm glad you get a visit. You are SO right though. Family and friends can make the journey so much better and provide so many wonderful moments. It's not only those leaving that suffer, it's those left behind and everyone needs to feel they had some sort of closure and a chance to say what needed saying.

 

Prayers are with you both and good energy is on the way!

[Fresh start 17467]

The think I don't understand about the waiting is that the test is done result are instant although it has to be my doctor who give me the result and it takes them 3 weeks to process and mail result. Why is it not all done online via email is beyond me, it a little outdated and a huge waste of time and tax dollars on such an outdated system.

I sympathize for your situation but this is just me speculating. What if your father didn't want to worry people for so long? Maybe that's why he didnt speak sooner. Or maybe it hard on him with people watching him. Some animals will go off alone to die alone perhaps they accept the end is near and they don't which emotionally harming them.

 

First I understand and sympathize about the unknown. Back in 2007 I was told I had a mole on my back which looked malignant. I had to get it biopsied. The plastic surgeon doing the biopsy said the results would take three weeks. Well except for a sore, well really damn sore back, the first week I was fine. Second week, then it started playing on my mind, especially wondering why it was taking so long to get the results, even though I was told it would take three weeks. Finally when I got the results (no skin cancer btw) well first a relief, but well, why the hell did it take so long...and three weeks is long under those circumstances

Second, just my opinion, from someone right now on the opposite side. Tell your family/friends. Really it's not a burden to them, they are people that care about you, and they care not just in the good times, but in the bad. And they'll ask "why didn't he say something to us sooner" I wish dad had said something sooner, when he was first diagnosed with leukemia, now over a year and half ago, instead of last December...and even then he minimized it, until just before Christmas and told us he also had lung and bone cancer and how serious and terminal the cancer was.

RG

[roamingguy 300291]

The think I don't understand about the waiting is that the test is done result are instant although it has to be my doctor who give me the result and it takes them 3 weeks to process and mail result. Why is it not all done online via email is beyond me, it a little outdated and a huge waste of time and tax dollars on such an outdated system.

I sympathize for your situation but this is just me speculating. What if your father didn't want to worry people for so long? Maybe that's why he didnt speak sooner. Or maybe it hard on him with people watching him. Some animals will go off alone to die alone perhaps they accept the end is near and they don't which emotionally harming them.

 

I don't doubt for dad a large part of his decision not to tell us was he didn't want anyone (but his wife) to know, so family wouldn't worry. And while family, not just me and my brother, but his brothers and so on, well we are right across Canada so it wouldn't be 24/7 people watching him. But we could have had more visits, even he could travel (hell he went down to Florida for the winter, twice by my reckoning) and visit, and now what does he want, everyone to come to visit, even though he can handle maybe 30 minutes maximum at a time before he tires out. Also, without delving too deep, he expressed regrets when I saw him in Florida in January but regrets he could do nothing about it except apologize. Which if a real concern he could have tried to change/amend during the year when he first was diagnosed with leukemia but still active

Long story short, and again my opinion, your family & friends want to know, because they are family and friends, there for the good times and bad and you aren't burdening them by telling them

RG