bbShould i feel guilty for using escorts

[heart 120]

Shoulda\ I feel ashamed for using escorts?

[DukeSSk 3430]

Well, I'd assume that it's only you who knows why you're here? Give it some thought. What are you trying to get out of this "hobby"? What brought you here?

 

I'm not expecting your personal life to be shared here by asking you those questions, but they're a good starting point for some self-reflection.

 

Forgive me if I'm off the mark in my response, don't mean to be condescending.

[steveyK 4311]

Of course you should not be ashamed. This is the oldest profession in the world! And now you have come to the perfect site to fulfill you dreams, fantasies, and needs to get over your unfounded feelings of shame...

[Phaedrus 209521]

Should I feel ashamed for using escorts?

 

Why on earth would you do that? I see no reason for it.

[Fresh start 17467]

If understanding your needs or desire and taking the courage to do something about it is shameful then I don't know what isn't?

The only person that can make you feel ashamed is yourself, because what other people may think, shouldn't matter. This is your life and you decide what you want to do.

[Jazzitup 5652]

I really think you are entitled to a sex life. In fact, it should be enshrined in the United Nations declaration of human rights. Sex is almost as basic a need as food and shelter. You get to decide how you want to meet those needs.

 

It can be that easy.

[Guest S****r]

It is on the first tier of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, along with food, water, shelter....

[Boomer 33202]

I think it's something you have to get over quick, or you'll find you're not going to be able to enjoy your sessions, and the ladies you're with are going to catch some bad vibes and might not perform as well as you expect.

[OralBigGuy 1308]

As someone who asked himself this question many years ago and answered it, I agree 100% with Boomer. How you feel about paying to be intimate with professionals is something only you can answer for yourself, based on your own life and that of those around you who are important.

 

For your sake, and that of the ladies you may or may not see in the future, I urge you to be completely honest with yourself and answer the question in your own mind before you go any further. Whatever you decide, you'll be much happier for it in the long run. :)

[Guest]

Since this is a mutually beneficial relationship. No matter how long or short the relationship is, there is no need to be ashamed. You get what you want and the lady of your choice gets what she wants. I see nothing wrong with this at all. Have fun!!!

[roamingguy 300291]

Human intimate companionship is a normal natural need. One way to receive this intimate companionship is by seeing escorts. As long as it is mutually beneficial and you treat the lady, as you should treat all ladies, with respect, there is nothing to feel guilty about. If you are feeling guilty because it is sex for money, look at all intimate relationships (marriage etc) at their core too is sex for money, it's just dressed up nicely with words like love, commitment and so on. Seeing escorts is the most honest intimate relationship you can have with a lady, with no strings attached.

And remember, the money you pay the lady allows her to pay her bills, pay the rent, car payment, raise her kids (some ladies are mothers) go to university (some ladies are students) and so on.

There is no need to feel guilty seeing a escort.

RG

[MNO4 789]

As long as you are with an escort who is making an educated calculation to do this

Is not under pressure from a pimp or drugs

And is willingly ( maybe even happily) compliant

 

You make sure your actions are within the desires of the escort

 

Your pbbly ok ( though it depends on what you are guilty about )

[foghorn69 230]

only if your cheating on the women you love if you ask me my friend!

[muncher459 1040]

only if your cheating on the women you love if you ask me my friend!

 

Yes , if by seeing a SP, you are hurting an innocent third party, you might have reason to have doubt and question what you are doing. On the other hand if it is not causing harm to anyone , and as stated it is a mutually agreeable situation, then sit back and enjoy the moment. What ever the reason you have included this lifestyle into life at the moment, and it could be purely situational, or fulfilling fantasies or what ever, as long as everyone, including yourself , has entered into it freely and happily, then no problem.

 

Another thing you may want to consider if you are haveing doubts is to ask yourself, is what you are doing just a diversion that keeps your mind off some other issue that you should be dealing with. Any way just my thoughts on the situation.

[randyzak 3600]

Hey let me address this very practically: YOU have been fucked over in life already by lots of people making money off of you and you didn't even know it, and definitely didn't orgasm when it happened. Now, you should be ashamed if you've let that happen to you (e.g., did you ever buy a SlapChop off that infomercial -- yeah, well you got fucked cuz that was a piece of crap).

 

Now let's consider escorts. Find someone who suits your fancy, swap an agreed upon amount of cash for her time, get fucked (even better fuck each other), know that you got fucked, and leave with a smile on your face! There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about that, my friend.

 

Remember, we call these activities "adult entertainment" for a very good reason!!!

 

Furthermore, an escort can be a great sexual mentor, and you will learn from her things you never thought remotely possible!!!

Posted via Mobile Device

[bcguy42 38594]

Shoulda\ I feel ashamed for using escorts?

 

The answer to that question is very specific to you.

 

If your worldview holds that having sex for money with strangers is a bad thing and you enter into a contact with an escort with no intention of changing that worldview, yes, you should feel ashamed.

 

If that is not your worldview or if it is and you are looking to change it, no, you should not feel ashamed.

 

You've come to the right place with the right people. Hop in, roll around, revel in the joy of being here.

 

Take my word for it. The second option feels better than the first.

[LuvAlts (AKA BownChickaBow 438]

If you are asking me - the answer is No.

 

If anything, I am guilty of not having started hobbying earlier ;)

[BootyLoving 2441]

It's a debate you must have with yourself.First define the word "shame"

Second define the reason why you are even here to begin with

Third but not last, define what you would like to gain from this hobby

Also, don't forget about what you have to loose as well

 

 

Although we all say that one must define one own desires and existence, it is not always the only consideration.

If you have family and associates who are sensitive or can be very sensitive to the subject. Take them into consideration and act accordingly. Learn to be more discrete online and in your adventures. Not everyone is as open to this area. Unlike the gay folks, us John are still 99.9% hiding in the closet. Our freedom to associate is more restricted.

[6dave9 4008]

It will depend on what stage in your life in conjunction with the level of frustration you are at...

 

As I will not / can not force my SO to do something she does not want to do, nor have any desire... (is this normal for all married women..?? that's another story all together)

I have learned to accept that... plain and simple.

I can tell you after well over a decade of no intimacy, the question sort-of answers itself....

watching porn and self pleasure can only take you so far...

The comfort of kissing and being kissed in return, to desire a woman and being desired in return.. need I go on..?

 

I had seen myself being a grumpy bear for a long time, then realized that *I* am responsible for my own happiness... and not to depend on others...

So what am I going to do about it...?

Divorce is not an option... because I have *strong* commitment to the family/house environment for my children - they need there father.

also the thought of starting over from zero again REALLY doesn't appeal to me...I have worked very to get where I am at, and I'm not giving up on it...

 

Therefore I lead a double life, and I am a happier man and can function on a daily basis.

 

You will find your own reasons of justification...

 

I will stop here..

Thanks for listening..

[MightyPen 67414]

Should I feel ashamed for using escorts?

The problem is, the way you've posed the question leaves out anything at all about a really critical part of that sentence -- "I". Without knowing more about you, it's impossible to answer you.

 

Let's start more generically: is seeing escorts inherently shameful?

 

And the answer is: NO. Particularly with regard to the women you're likely to encounter here on CERB, escorts are smart, attractive, talented and capable women who know exactly what they're doing and why. They can offer a wonderful intimate human experience. How you make use of that experience, and the role it plays in your life, is up to you.

 

That said, there can be issues associated with paid companionship. Most importantly: is the companion in control of what she's doing? Beyond that there are issues of playing safely, the impact your activities can have on other parties, and your overall conduct with regard to "hobbying". But all of those hinge on YOU, and your judgement, and so nobody can really answer your question yet with just the information you've provided.

[EvaAdore 7767]

Shoulda\ I feel ashamed for using escorts?

 

Well first of all, I think you should ask yourself why you're asking that question. What is it that is bothering you that would make you want to reach out and ask if you 'should' or 'shouldn't' feel something? I feel like if you were 100% fine with it, the question wouldn't even be in your mind.

 

Second... What is there to be ashamed OF? I can relate to this question on the other side, because there is such a stigma attached to being a part of this lifestyle. But the fact is: people have non-emotional sex with each other all the time. Everybody 'pays' in some way - buying a girl drinks at a bar in exchange for the possibility of getting her in bed is the same as exchanging cash for the same; or a woman accepting those drinks in exchange for sex is still 'selling themselves'. Those people are just in denial about what they are doing, or justify it by saying 'well I didn't give her money for it!' - it's the same thing!

 

I think if anything, this is a much better outlet and there is a lot more thought involved in choosing a lady that meets your interests and physical tastes; this is a hobby, after all (or in an SP's case, a career). You are way more likely to have chemistry, rapport, friendship via this outlet than another way.... so why feel ashamed about it?

 

My two cents.

[ngtime 560]

If you are married or in a serious relationship then yes you should be ashamed. If the relationship is strained and you have done everything to correct any problems and it's just not working then yes, do the hobbyist thing.

[Guest holydragon]

Married for nearly 20 years and the shame comes in waves particularly when I lecture my kids about doing the right thing :).

[Chanel Reign 28097]

Love and sex are two completely different things. Over time our culture has put the two into the same bed, so to speak. Bad idea as 2 people can love each other but have different needs that have nothing to do with the heart.

 

One can love someone, but have sex with someone else and that doesn't change that love, unless you cannot separate the 2. One is an emotion, one is an activity.

 

Your reasons are your own and your question is one I think we ALL ask ourselves at one point or another. Only you can answer it honestly.

 

For whatever choice we are here, most of us are here because we want to be, SP or Provider. There are exceptions of course, and thats when the struggle begins.

 

It is a good question to ask yourself, but is it a reflection of you having sex with an SP, or an SP having sex with you?

 

Additional Comments:

If you are married or in a serious relationship then yes you should be ashamed. If the relationship is strained and you have done everything to correct any problems and it's just not working then yes, do the hobbyist thing.

 

In this I have to respectfully disagree. You are talking in completely monogamous terms. The human species was never meant to be monogamous but our culture dictates whats right and whats wrong.

 

If you follow mainstream norms, then yes your statement stands. But who really falls into that category other than sheeple?

 

No rudeness intended, I just disagree, :)

 

C

[castle 38816]

If the relationship is strained and you have done everything to correct any problems and it's just not working then yes, do the hobbyist thing.

 

This is a fine line. Just my opinion...but if the relationship as a whole is strained and is not working....and if you have done everything to correct it without success.....then why not just end it? I can't see how cheating fixes anything (and yes, seeing SP's behind your S/O's back is cheating). It just compounds an already bad situation.

 

Now...if the emotional relationship itself is still healthy....if there is still love and caring and fulfilment there....and if the only thing missing is the physical aspect of the relationship (be it for medical reasons, psychological reasons, etc)....then I would say that yes, seeing SP's is totally acceptable....provided that your SO is aware of it and is comfortable with it.

 

Lastly...if you're single....or if you're in an "open", honest and non-monogamous relationship. Then hey, why the hell not?! Dive in and have fun! :D

 

Not trying to be judgmental to anyone's own situation. These are just my own views based on my comfort level. Dishonesty of any sort makes me feel guilty...whether its related to escorts or not.

 

But at the end of the day, when it comes to sex between two consenting adults, the only one who can decide if you should feel guilty or not is you.