Gabriella Laurence 301887 Report post Posted September 28, 2013 Hello Cerbies :) As someone who loves clever word play, witty puns and sarcastic quips, I would be most interested to see what you have in store for us. The following was recently posted in another thread and I thought I should share it with you because it was brilliant! Don't believe everything you hear. Real eyes, Realize, Real lies. And it's even worse when former trusted mates betray you; 'cause then it's re: allies! ;) On a different note... "I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me." Or even something like this: "If you're talking behind my back, you're in a real good position to kiss my ass" Brainy teasers and riddles are great too! Riddle: I am eight letters long "12345678." My 1234 is an atmospheric condition. My 34567 supports a plant. My 4567 is to appropriate. My 45 is a friendly thank you. My 678 is a name. What word am I? Mistaken Have fun! Gabby xox 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Emily J 172062 Report post Posted September 28, 2013 I don't know if this falls in line with "play on words", but I saw an ad on BP the other day for a lady that was advertising herself as a "beautiful mix of chinese and cockasian". Twice in the same ad. Maybe it would have been a funny play on words if it was done on purpose, and not by accident. I feel bad for poking fun, but seriously, proofread & spellcheck your shit, people. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyPerv 3756 Report post Posted September 28, 2013 I hope you get a little chuckle out of these like I did :-) Play on Words How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck What's the difference between roast beef and peasoup? Anyone can roast beef Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers Why don't blind people like to sky dive? Because it scares the heck out of the dog What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The location of the dirt bag Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down? Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Darn." A bad skydiver goes, "Darn." WHACK! What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it! How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it! What do you call skydiving lawyers? Skeet What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop clop? An Amish drive-by shooting How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same? Somebody's gonna lose a trailer Source: http://elmblog.eddiesnipes.com/humor/jokes/play_on_words.shtml 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest webothscore Report post Posted September 28, 2013 This is more of a rhyme while asking for less of something and more of something. Given the industry, an SP could use it during a session ;) Less talk, more cock. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brad 49548 Report post Posted September 29, 2013 Oh, ya gotta love a thread about play on words...it's likely to be very punny. :P I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there. Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: Snowballs. One lady says to another, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The other replies, "Oh my God! How many is a brazilian?" Man: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Woman: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
1963Kennedy 10698 Report post Posted September 29, 2013 Credit to OARC for this: Mahatma Gandi walked bare feet for most of his life which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him very frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. Therefore we may refer to him as a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted September 29, 2013 What did the fish say when he swam into a wall Dam!!! RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Phaedrus 209521 Report post Posted October 1, 2013 Does anyone know if this IOS 9 Time travel app actually works or not? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fresh start 17467 Report post Posted October 1, 2013 Does having sex on a dictionary count as playing on word? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Luckyme 41401 Report post Posted October 1, 2013 Good from far...... far from good! When you see a lady from afar, she may look good (hot) When she is near, she may look far from good (hot)! :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
