SP question about references

[andflemcol 3975]

I just recently read a post about an SP who was not willing to provide a reference to a client.

 

While I do understand the need for references, I would like to know if there is a reluctance for SPs to provide a reference. If so, could you advise why there is a reluctance. Is it insulting if a client asks you for a reference thus indicating that they want to see someone else rather than see the same SP? Would this change if the client was a regular client?

 

Also, when SP's chat about references, what are they looking for? Not LE?, Reliable client? Respectful?, Hygeine? Any or all of the above?

 

Just trying to understand the industry a little better.

 

Cheers.

[hunknhot 1067]

There must be more to the story.. Just like a job interview.. ;) If you ask someone to be a reference and they say no.. then there must be something they do not feel comfortable vouching for.. and like many thing in this community... ymmv!

[cat 262460]

Most SP's say they give references for clients and most do so willingly. Some openly say no, and then there are those that say yes but resent doing so. As one SP told me "would you send your patrons to the competition?". They look at it like asking McDonald's for directions to Burger King. Respect her decision and spend some time communicating with the new SP. There are many ways to verify, references are just one.

 

We ask for references for many reasons. LE is really the least of our worries here in Canada. It is about ensuring our safety. There are so many game players that are time wasters, we prefer to avoid them, and of course we want to avoid dangerous situations at all costs. My focus is always that he is who he says he is, he shows up for appointments and there isn't an issue with collecting the consideration. If an SP's opinion isn't favorable because of grooming or attitude, I factor that in but it doesn't mean I won't see someone. I have many clients that other SP's are not fond of for a multitude of reasons but we get along just fine.

 

I believe most SP's approach a new client the same way, giving each guest a chance. As long as you respect our methods then it isn't a problem. Don't sweat it, just ask if there is another way to verify.

 

cat

[Guest S***e]

Over the years, I've never been asked to provide a reference nor have I asked for one. Under normal circumstances, at my first encounter with an SP I provide her with my full real name and personal identification, e.g. DL or whatever. I have never had this come back to haunt me and I believe that by providing this information at the onset her security concerns are met. Once established the matter fades for me anyways.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

I have been PM'd a few times directly by members of this forum asking for references, but I would never ask a lady for references to her clients, and I would certainly expect that she would not share that information (even under my cerb handle) without my permission. Usually there are enough reviews here and on the other boards to make a decision, or if you are using an agency you can rely upon the agencys reputation and recommendations.

 

I can see SPs asking for references from clients they are unfamiliar with for safety reasons, but this seems backwards to me.

 

andflemcol -- Did you mean a client seeking references from an SP's past client about the SP, or did you mean an SP seeking references concerning a client she is considering seeing?

[capitalman 3861]

I've been asked by a popular SP for a reference, an email or phone of another SP that can vouch for my integrity and/or goodness, I guess to find out who I am?

 

It was really weird asking a girl I know if she wouldn't mind vouching for me to another girl....so weird in fact that I've decided I won't do it any longer. Fuck that. It was embarrassing and humiliating! Oh ya, even after all these hoops that I jumped through she ended up cancelling on me....wtf?

 

If an SP is worried about who I am, they can research me a little bit just like I have to do towards them. Otherwise, kiss my ass! :)

[andflemcol 3975]

I have been PM'd a few times directly by members of this forum asking for references, but I would never ask a lady for references to her clients, and I would certainly expect that she would not share that information (even under my cerb handle) without my permission. Usually there are enough reviews here and on the other boards to make a decision, or if you are using an agency you can rely upon the agencys reputation and recommendations.

 

I can see SPs asking for references from clients they are unfamiliar with for safety reasons, but this seems backwards to me.

 

andflemcol -- Did you mean a client seeking references from an SP's past client about the SP, or did you mean an SP seeking references concerning a client she is considering seeing?

 

I meant a SP's seeking reference for a client she is contemplating on seeing.

 

Thanks

[hunknhot 1067]

It is common enough.. there are SPs even here on CERB who want to -pre-qualify clients. For what ever the reason.. it is understandable. The existance of boards like these help us pre-qualify SPs so why not the reverse.

 

The reality is this community does have "creepers" as one SP described mentioned to me when I first met her. They want to weed them out as well and make sure they are safel. That's way more important than the potential money they would make.

 

From what I understand SPs communicate more than we think with each other so go with the rule of thumb!

 

"Act nicely, be treated nicely... act poorly!, be treated poorly"

 

I meant a SP's seeking reference for a client she is contemplating on seeing.

 

Thanks

[andflemcol 3975]

I've been asked by a popular SP for a reference, an email or phone of another SP that can vouch for my integrity and/or goodness, I guess to find out who I am?

 

It was really weird asking a girl I know if she wouldn't mind vouching for me to another girl....so weird in fact that I've decided I won't do it any longer. Fuck that. It was embarrassing and humiliating! Oh ya, even after all these hoops that I jumped through she ended up cancelling on me....wtf?

 

If an SP is worried about who I am, they can research me a little bit just like I have to do towards them. Otherwise, kiss my ass! :)

 

Good for you Cap for taking a stand after the first time you asked for a reference. I'm afraid I would feel the same way...too weird.

 

I have a favorite SP that I don't think I would ask just cause it would be too weird. Even if she agreed to it and I'm sure she would, I would have an uncomfortable feeling about it. I wouldn't want to fall out of favor from my fav because I wanted to explore what else was out there. Maybe, I would have the nerve to ask an SP who is not a favorite of mine as long as our sessions was good.

[capitalman 3861]

Yeah, the girls know we're seeing other girls, just like we know the girls are seeing other guys....but it's just better when we don't talk about it! :-)

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

We ask for references to make sure you are a respectable guy...to make sure you are not a time waster. Alot of guys here on cerb don't need to use a reference {with me] ..gents that i can see just by reading their posts and reco's that they are gentlemen..on the other hand their are gents i wouldn't see too by their posts or reco's...lol..i'm sure the same goes for the gentlemen...that's another reason why it's good that people participate here...

kisses,

Emma

[geo007 203]

I've asked an SP if she would act as a reference for me and also asked a well known agency contact to be a reference for special requests. Both said they would but how will I know if they actually will is another question. So far, so good. I also provide my real name and phone number to provide the safety element some SPs need. Have had no issues with that either.

[Parker 19761]

If an SP is worried about who I am, they can research me a little bit just like I have to do towards them. Otherwise, kiss my ass! :)

 

I use to do that... spend all my time searching out the person on my own, reading through their posts.. ect... It leaves little time to do much else and it can take forever.

 

So now I only see those with references... it makes me feel secure when having people to my location and it saves me a lot of time and burnout not having to sit at the computer all day trying to figure out if you're ok from your posts.

 

On a side note, before I had a recommendation I got next to no clients... the odd one a month... I had no "references" so people were less inclined to see me... I don't see how asking for client references is much different than you reviewing us... it is at least far more private and less detailed.

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

I use to do that... spend all my time searching out the person on my own, reading through their posts.. ect... It leaves little time to do much else and it can take forever.

 

So now I only see those with references... it makes me feel secure when having people to my location and it saves me a lot of time and burnout not having to sit at the computer all day trying to figure out if you're ok from your posts.

 

On a side note, before I had a recommendation I got next to no clients... the odd one a month... I had no "references" so people were less inclined to see me... I don't see how asking for client references is much different than you reviewing us... it is at least far more private and less detailed.

 

The reference thing is still more private for sure and much easier...but when i have read posts by others and can read their reco's on Cerb i take that as a reference as well. If i'm still in doubt i may pm one or 2 of the ladies they have seen...non-members of cerb will be asked for a reference for sure...we all have our way of doing things but we are all looking for the same outcome...saftey first..

[Guest S***e]

I can fully understand your position on this, however as someone who is very much only an occasional or infrequent client and as someone who does not see a particular lady on a regular basis, I would hope that you or any other CERB lady would take the time to investigate me further on CERB before refusing to see me based upon references or the lack thereof. Many of the ladies I've seen over the years have retired or have moved on. Additionally, I may have only seen an Ottawa based lady once or have seen someone who visits Ottawa occasionally or I have seen someone while I was travelling outside of Ottawa. Some ladies do not wish to have recommendations or reviews posted publicly and want to stay under the radar gnerally. This would be my dilemma. As mentioned previously, I provide real name or CERB handle and cell phone number at the onset and at the appointed time photo identfication if requested to do so. As someone who is longer in the tooth and has been around longer than I care to admit to myself, I believe I provide any SP all due courtesy and consideration in the security related matter. By the same token, I exercise a certain degree of caution and good judgement when having an encounter.

 

 

So now I only see those with references... it makes me feel secure when having people to my location and it saves me a lot of time and burnout not having to sit at the computer all day trying to figure out if you're ok from your posts.

[Andee 220524]

The reason why I believe some SPs don't provide references is because what some other ladies already suggested - they don't like sending clients to the competition.

 

I think this is ridiculous. If a client wants to see another SP, they are going to do it regardless of whether someone provides a reference or not. We do not "own" our clients, just as I would not want a client to think he "owns" me.

 

I believe if an SP is forthcoming with a reference (unless the guy is total dud, but that's another conversation), chances are he will still come back to see you again anyhow. Good thing is, it works the other way too. An SP may actually refer business to you as well.

 

I have a "circle" of SP friends and we regularly "refer" clients to each other. In fact I can think of a few gentlemen who frequent at least four of us.

 

I only request references if the requestor is asking for something unusual (role playing or fetish) or wants to book in advance for multiple hours etc.

 

I understand why some SPs only see clients who have been recommended to them, but since I am available on short notice many times, the whole reference thing would not work for me. I do not accept blocked numbers and when going to out-calls always verify the address information first and have someone who knows where I am going.

 

I believe a client should respect the way a lady works if he wants to see her. After all, our business is to be "discrete", so if you have nothing to hide, it shouldn't be a problem after all, right?

[Parker 19761]

I can fully understand your position on this, however as someone who is very much only an occasional or infrequent client and as someone who does not see a particular lady on a regular basis, I would hope that you or any other CERB lady would take the time to investigate me further on CERB before refusing to see me based upon references or the lack thereof.

 

The problem is some of us don't have the time.

I usually don't get more than 15 minutes at the computer at a time... I use that to check e-mails, reply, check cerb and such... a lot of the time I just don't have the time to read through posts.

 

I have an overly busy life and see clients in between... for me references are not only a way of keeping me safe, but it's easier for me to check a reference and make an appointment than it is to be searching and reading.

 

 

 

 

I understand why some SPs only see clients who have been recommended to them, but since I am available on short notice many times, the whole reference thing would not work for me. I do not accept blocked numbers and when going to out-calls always verify the address information first and have someone who knows where I am going.

 

That is the thing as well, references do not work for short notice appointments at all, (Even though some still try...) and as you said have someone know where you're going... we all have our own ways of doing things... no one is forcing anyone to try to see someone who asks for references.

 

We each will go with what works for us, you guys will do the same.

[Guest S***e]

Your personal safety and well-being is paramount, as it should be and I wouldn't want to see it compromised for any reason. All the best!

 

The problem is some of us don't have the time.

I usually don't get more than 15 minutes at the computer at a time... I use that to check e-mails, reply, check cerb and such... a lot of the time I just don't have the time to read through posts.

 

I have an overly busy life and see clients in between... for me references are not only a way of keeping me safe, but it's easier for me to check a reference and make an appointment than it is to be searching and reading.

 

[Guest]

I can understand a sp asking for references. I don't understand a client asking for one, tho. what I would say is go to the review section and read that. Then tell me what you think. I wouldn't even think of asking one of my client(s) for a reference. To me it is a waste of time.

 

I know the girls are doing this for safety and I agree with that. Many girls here don't need many clients, make appointments and are organized. We do have lives outside of our sping and it's good to know clients will respect that. We also have a way of dealing with business. That works for us. So respecting that makes it easier, for client and sp.

 

What I want to know. why would a client want this? Is there any good reasons. I know that for myself. I would not do anything to damage my business. I am like an open book to my clients. I feel like I have nothing to hide. But even to me there is some stuff you keep to yourself. This to me sounds weird. Also I'm not to sure my clients would like this either. As their privacy is my priority.

[Guest]

Okey, opps. I have been reading all the posts. I reread the first one. I don't know why a girl. Wouldn't recommend an other girl. When I worked for the agency. I worked with other girls and recommended them. Now that I'm independent. I don't get the chance to meet many girls. They only reason I wouldn't give an other name. Is if I was asked not to and that has happened to me.

 

I think the girls know that guys go elsewhere. Even the best of clients. Why not give them to someone you know, will show them a good time. The way I look at it is the next step is a three sum. Which means more fun and more money.

 

You never know why someone does something. Until you dig a little deeper and maybe it's best to leave it alone.

[Seymour 3970]

Maybe, I would have the nerve to ask an SP who is not a favorite of mine as long as our sessions was good.

 

Careful -that may come back to haunt you. ;-)

 

It is a slippery slope asking one lady to be a 'reference' knowing that you are a good customer and you potentially want to see the competition resulting in her losing some business. It comes back to how well do you know the person you're asking to be your 'reference', communication and level of trust, IMO.

 

As clients we chose who to see (for different reasons) and as entertainers the ladies choose whom they wish as clients based on their own screening process. If someone isn't comfortable with something, they probably should not act on it. At the end of the day it is about safety and fun.

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

The majority of the men i see regularly are the ones i never mind giving a reference for...maybe it's because i travel alot that i don't think twice about doing it...but if you are uncertain and really don't want to ask one of the ladies you see then join a site like preferred411 they can confirm who you are for us..it doesn't mean your cool it just means your legit..

kisses,

Emma

[Kubrickfan 12836]

I wouldn't hesitate to give a reference if one was ever asked for, but usually I try to put enough information in my introductory e-mail to the SP to try to make them comfortable, including my name on the other board. I have never yet been asked to provide a reference.

 

One thing I was asked for, as a condition for a visit, that I will not give out is a photo ... no way.

 

I think what drives the ladies absolutely nuts are the one or two line inquiry emails from unknown clients indicating an interest without providing any background information. Then the lady has to go through all the effort to investigate if she'll even bother to do so.

 

I try to make the SP feel safe from the first time I make contact until we depart after our time together. I think that guys who go out of their way to try to do the same are likely to get fewer request for references and other such things.

[PistolPete 61421]

Why not give them to someone you know, will show them a good time. The way I look at it is the next step is a three sum. Which means more fun and more money.

 

Peachy I really love the way you think! More fun!

 

I'm in for all the fun of course!:motion:

 

I look forward to a few 3'somes in 2010!:grin:

[kih 458]

I've been asked by a popular SP for a reference, an email or phone of another SP that can vouch for my integrity and/or goodness, I guess to find out who I am?

 

It was really weird asking a girl I know if she wouldn't mind vouching for me to another girl....so weird in fact that I've decided I won't do it any longer. Fuck that. It was embarrassing and humiliating! Oh ya, even after all these hoops that I jumped through she ended up cancelling on me....wtf?

 

If an SP is worried about who I am, they can research me a little bit just like I have to do towards them. Otherwise, kiss my ass! :)

 

LOL - Spewed my coffee but nonetheless very true!