Child abuse

[CristyCurves 169032]

Are you surprised by the latest statistics?

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/one-in-three-canadians-has-suffered-child-abuse-study-says/article18093004/

 

It is certainly a sadness and a cause for a lifetime of issues if it isn't addressed and treated. Many who've had troubles or committed crimes may be victims of child abuse. So should they then be excused or at the very least treated differently? Some go through their lives having suffered abuse and live normally without causing or having troubles.

I don't think what we've experienced should ever be used as an excuse but perhaps a reason for.

We are after all the end result of our upbringing/parenting, environment, circumstance, friends/mentors, economic standing . All these factors play into a persons mental health as an adult. However I think how we are parented is the most important and largest determinant as to how we develop as adults. Or is it simply about Newton's third law, every action has a reaction Your opinion?

[olderguy 5797]

Although we are all a product of our environment and life experience, especially in the formative years, many people transcend child abuse, poverty and a generally crappy start to life and become solid citizens. That is not to minimize in any way the sadness of those that seem to be permanently damaged by these horrible occurrences. It's the "Nature / Nurture" discussion that has been going on forever without a definitive conclusion. My heart goes out to anyone who experienced child abuse whether they were able to get beyond it or not.

[CristyCurves 169032]

It's the "Nature / Nurture" discussion that has been going on forever without a definitive conclusion.

I agree with your point about this being a continued discussion but I do think there is enough evidence that child abuse does cause significant issues and ones that can shape a persons adulthood. Like all discussions those involved will have differing and like minded opinions. But I think data, evidence, and similar experiences with those who have experienced child abuse speak to it's affects.

[JodyWild 4740]

I have to agree with CC, I have not told this to many people... in fear of being judged...But I thought I would share anyways...so please do not judge. Lots of love J.W.

 

I myself as a child was abused by both my parents & C.A.S. staff. I remember everything like it was yesterday...I was maybe 5-6 when it started..my parents split, made me choose who I wanted to live with..it was hard I chose my dad. My mom did not do well with that. They were constantly fighting & arguing. & my brother & I were the targets in the way. I was maybe 11 when my dad and his wife had sent me away to C.A.S.. As soon as my dad & they did that my mothers mom my close nana committed suicide because of it. In C.A.S. I was hit,picked on & yelled at all the time & I just blew...I was in and out of the system because I do think all the physical, mental & emotional abuse is what pushed me to that point as a young pre-teen/teen..I eventually left my parents & C.A.S & decided to change.

 

I have to admit tho if it were not for what I went through I would not be the person I am today. I am so happy, humble, respectful & kinda greatful for what I went through...cuz I would not be where I am today.

 

Not in the system, no more abuse & just thankful for the lessons I have learned...try to think positive & I try not to dwell on my past...but to move forward.

[Jack2000 3446]

Cristy, did you hear the Pope thinks gay adoption is child abuse ?

 

Since when did the Catholic Church become experts on ch.... oh yeah right, nevermind.

 

;)

[CristyCurves 169032]

Jody, thank you so much for sharing your painful and truly personal story. It takes great strength to speak openly about something so hurtful and personal. In doing so you may have helped someone so be very proud and no one will ever judge you for being open and sharing, if they do, shame on them. Big hugs

Jack:) No I didn't know that, thank you and if that's true, shame on him!

[theliquor (Lost but not fo 50595]

Morning

If there is one subject that gets my blood pressure up and the "mean and ugly" comes out, it is child abuse (closely followed by the abuse of vulnerable women).

Over the years I have been lucky enough to lead / raise funds for shelters like the Yellow Brick House in Aurora and the various Interval Houses in Eastern Ontario, and have seen the damage done to these folks.

 

Assuming they are strong enough to fight through all the issues resulting from the abuse, I believe that they will be strong advocates for those who are not as strong.

 

In my opinion, we need to protect the vulnerable, but especially the children and to provide them with any and all options to help them not only survive but thrive.

 

Also my opinion, now this is the "mean and ugly Tom" coming out, once charged and convicted, public humiliation, and knee-capping, then putting them in with the general population in our penal system. What happens there is called street justice.

 

Sorry if I have offended, but to me it would be a reasonable way to help protect the kids and women who are unable either physically or mentally to help themselves.

[jafo105 39057]

I was raised by my biological mother and my biological father was not in the picture. I experienced child abuse (physical and psychological), sexual abuse, and witnessed domestic violence as a child. That stuff stays with you for ever. Maybe not on a concious level but it is always there in the subconcious mind. Even if you get help to deal with it. I got help when I was 15 and it helped for a few years.

 

After leaving home at 15. I had a few good mentors to help steer me into adulthood. If it was not for them I do not know how I would have turned out.

 

I am sure now that those early life experiences interfeared with my ability to have lasting meaningful relationships.

 

I have always dealt with depression through out my entire adult life. A few years ago I was also diagnosed with adult Asperger's.

 

About ten years ago I learned that I have a younger half sister and two older half brothers. (same biological mother). I thank god that they did not have to go through the things I did growing up.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Thank you for sharing Jafo. I'm so very sorry for your past experiences but I'm in admiration for your strength and ability to share. Hugs to you.

[JodyWild 4740]

Thanks C.C. it is not an easy topic for anyone to openly share or speak on. I'm glad I could share my story & possibly help another male or female find the inner strength to speak up, get help or even to stop it & not allow things like that to happen...abuse is abuse...& it can happen in adulthood too. I hope I help at least one person move forward in life. I definitely did not have the greatest childhood...but I am kinda thankful for what I have gone through...because I dont think I would be where I am today & it has made me the the strong woman I am.

[cinelli 22184]

Abuse happens way more than anyone wants to acknowledge.

 

That's how most people deal with it, they turn a blind eye and ignore it.

 

My dad was a highly respected member of the community. A councillor who had friends like the mayor, the chief of police, an MP, and he was on the committee that ran our church, and he was the director of the Sunday School for forty years.

Nobody outside the family knew he was an alcoholic and a binge drinker, and was nothing but a jerk to us kids and a mean drunken bully to our mother. But NOBODY would have believed us if we had said anything.

Or maybe everyone knew and chose to pretend it wasn't happening?

Impossible to tell when you are a kid.

[Isabella Gia (Banned) 53881]

This is a very sad topic. I've heard so many stories about children being abused and it really breaks my heart and upsets me. I was very blessed to never had suffered from any kind of abuse and not only that, I grew up surrounded by loving people but not having experienced it does not mean that I do not know how it can ruin a kid's life.

 

I really wish I could do more to fight child abuse and I also wish it wouldn't exist, but it does and maybe one day I will be able to contribute against it for now all I can do is ask all of you reading this who have kids, to love them, be kind to them and also to always trust them more than you would trust anyone else and have great communication with them, many kids abused by people who aren't their parents never say anything because the parents do not hear them for the little things and do not have communication with them always being busy so make time to talk to your kids, show them that you believe what they tell you and keep in mind that if turns out to not be true it doesn't mean the kid lied, they have a different perspective than us, in other words, always take your kid's side, it can make a huge difference.

[dirkgently 1778]

Part of my story (as most of my struggles now are not my own):

 

I spent about about 8 years being physically, psychologically and sexually abused by members of my immediate and extended family. Somehow, and I do not know how, at 12 I managed to summon the inner strength to put an end to it. Although I did not tell anyone about what was happening to me (although I'm positive there were many adults that knew and did nothing) nor seek help for many years, the abuse affected me physically and emotionally well into adulthood and has definitely shaped the person I am today. Although I am now successful, educated, liberal, open-minded, caring and forgiving, there is no room or tolerance in my life for anything bad happening to children (even in movies I have to walk away) or the adults that cause these bad things.

 

Over thirty years later I'd like to say I've learned a few things. One is that what you name something, what you call it, matters. Maybe only on a subconscious level but often on a visceral in your face level.

 

My opinion only, but "sexual abuse of a minor" is far too vague and low impact to correctly describe what happens to these children and the impact it has on them. Let's call it what it really is RAPING CHILDREN! A harsh term but more accurate.

 

I am aware that for some abuse is a cycle, they were abused so they abuse. For most it is not. Most are so affected by what happened to them that even the thought of causing that much pain to another can make them sick. The difference could be whether or not they get help, or their own inner strength or moral compass, or the nurturing they received in their lives apart from the abuse. Or it may be simply that it is not called rape so they don't make the connection to what they are doing and what it really is and the effects it will have.

 

I may be totally wrong but if it even stops one abuser and saves one child...

 

My journey continues.

[lilly 10171]

I have to admit tho if it were not for what I went through I would not be the person I am today. I am so happy, humble, respectful & kinda greatful for what I went through...cuz I would not be where I am today.

 

Your written words have been taken from my lips. Thank you for sharing your story.

Peace

 

Additional Comments:

Those stats are an extreme understatement in comparison to the truth of numbers. Child abuse is a global issue; from poverty to the $80 million home at the end of the street and further; from beginning of time to the present and further; from bullet ridden homes to well manicured lawns. Research has shown that abuse, especially sexual abuse changes not only neural transmission, hormone levels, and such but there are structural changes to the brain as well. Sexual abused children are most vunerable, often it alters their identity of one's self. It's comparative to 'having no memories of who you are and meeting yourself for the first time'.

 

Where does Canada stand on sexual abuse?

 

Peace

 

Additional Comments:

I shared this video, not to state my personal opinion but for informative reasons only.

[oldblueeyez 15475]

Should they be excused or treated differently? NOPE!

They can get their therapy while they do their time, and if one of mine is ever a victim, they'd better hope the law gets to them before I.

 

[Victoria Phoenix 3403]

Child abuse, is horrific, in any form, whether it be physical, mental, sexual,,a CHILD should never be harmed! As that child grows up, and if their childhood is interfering with their daily activities, then they must seek treatment, if a criminal offence has taken place, and they are responsible, then YES they are certainly responsible! This day and age, there are so many courses of treatment they can take,,one on one therapy, group sessions, medication, the list goes on,,on a final note, this would not even be a topic, if they weren't abused in the FIRST place!