Why we love married men and women...

[Guest Be***iful****lah]

I have been pondering the uniqueness of every variation that is present in the individual encounters we experience. For every situation and scenario, each different client and relationship, there are things I just love about what makes them special. I want to start a thread on certain aspects, and I thought I could start with this one.

 

When you reveal that you are married, for myself anyways, it is with insightful pleasure that I learn this fact about you.

 

I will begin with one of my many reasons. I look forward to hearing what all you cerbies would like to add.

 

Reason 1.):

 

You likely appreciate every single effort I make to make you FEEL desired. You won't take that for granted.

 

 

That is a start....

[CristyCurves 169032]

Whaaa? Delilah this is over my head could you explain:)

[Guest Be***iful****lah]

Whaaa? Delilah this is over my head could you explain:)

 

Sorry! Unfortunately you had to see my crazy typo entry before I was able to correct it!! lol....it should make much more sense now...:)

[CristyCurves 169032]

Ahh now it makes sense:)

When a man reveals he is married it gives me a sense of security. It tells me he is seeing me for all my intended purposes and more than likely isn't going to let his feelings get involved. However I have also experienced that this isn't always the case, but only on a couple of occasions and perhaps those occasions were a convenient coincidence:) I seem to attract those;)

[roamingguy 300291]

FYI This single guy appreciates the efforts all you ladies make to make me feel like a desired man

I hope it shows in our encounters, not only the donation and gift and donation and my recommendations, not to mention my posts on CERB in general

For me, the companionship you ladies provide has a intangible value far exceeding the donation asked for

And this single guy doesn't need to get married to appreciate you ladies, I appreciate you more than you know already

And this guy, FYI is single because he wants to be single, and isn't going to change. That however doesn't mean I can't like, respect or enjoy the companionship you provide

A rambling

 

RG

[Guest Be***iful****lah]

FYI This single guy appreciates the efforts all you ladies make to make me feel like a desired man

I hope it shows in our encounters, not only the donation and gift and donation and my recommendations, not to mention my posts on CERB in general

For me, the companionship you ladies provide has a intangible value far exceeding the donation asked for

And this single guy doesn't need to get married to appreciate you ladies, I appreciate you more than you know already

And this guy, FYI is single because he wants to be single, and isn't going to change. That however doesn't mean I can't like, respect or enjoy the companionship you provide

A rambling

 

RG

 

Good point! And I should say that I love reading all if your amazing posts on Cerb. I intend to stArt a thread about why I also LOVE spending time with single peeps. I should point out that anything I specifically love about married people does not imply that those same qualities are not or can not be found in unmarried people.

It's like if I said one reason I love big boobs is because how good it feels to grab them. The same quality can be applied to small boobs. Obviously these qualities can be applied to more than the main subject of topic. I do want to highlight some things I love about married people, and that in No way would take away or exclude qualities that single people also share.

[peacectryguy 12523]

I guess it never really dawned on me that some providers might feel a little more secure knowing a client is married and really isn't looking to get too serious. Like RG says, I bet there are lots of hobbyists who are single that also are secure and mature enough to understand the dynamic of what these encounters are. We, as clients, know that this isn't a love affair that is going to be fraught with the danger of obsession or fatal attraction. For some of us, that is what we need. That's not to say we don't form a friendship and trust that has obvious emotional undertones. But we know where the line is and stay clear. I guess that's more of a maturity aspect than being married or single.

As for me, yes, I am married. I admit that. I love my wife and she is great but for the last 3 years and I fear for quite a few more, our marriage is a long distance one (approx 1400 km). We see each other for about 2-3 weeks a year. I'm not trying to justify anything here, just explaining why I do this. This dynamic allows me to fullfill my needs while maintaining a privacy and discretion that affairs or dating can't provide. I need not worry about someone getting emotionally attached to me and doing something stupid and/or crazy.

[CristyCurves 169032]

I do want to highlight some things I love about married people, and that in No way would take away or exclude qualities that single people also share.

But yet you have:) as have I. But there is nothing wrong with expressing or highlighting what any of us likes or dislikes. When you like or appreciate , dislike or highlight that isn't a statement that anything else isn't as good, worthy, or acceptable, it simply means it isn't to your taste or at the top of your list, on your mind or your favorite. Nothing wrong with expressing a particular point or point of view with out acknowledging all sides of it or everything else. To many, imo, have a need to want to accept everything, be politically correct and not be expressively honest for fear of offending someone or leaving someone out. I'm not saying this is you, just my observation in general:)

[cat 262460]

I absolutely agree! While I often say with tongue in cheek "I love HMOPH's!" it is completely truthful. Happily Married Other Peoples Husbands make up my favourite guests for so many reasons. It's a perfect fit for my preferred business model, the ME (mistress experience). It means I never deal with the bad habits, annoying idiosyncrasies and daily grind; that is left for the woman who will inherit his estate and I get to enjoy all the delights without the trials and tribulations of day to day routine. I never have to worry they are going to arrive in a mood, never deal with him not pulling his weight around the house and he'll never steal my covers in the middle of the night, every night. I don't have to pick up his dirty laundry, deal with his family or struggle with keeping the passion alive. These parts are non existent in the relationships I indulge in. HMOPH's will never assume to be a part of my life outside of the negotiated parameters, never arriving in the middle of night thinking I will welcome him in, never assume an invite out for dinner off the clock is an acceptable thing to do. They seldom see blurred lines when paint is neon yellow clear.

 

In my privileged experience, HMOPH's is always positive, he's always happy to be here, I'm always glad he is here. Our time together is focused, we ONLY do the important stuff like touch, talk and feel in an honest, nonjudgemental way. We spend time together knowing how truly precious that time is; we both savour every moment and when it's over we are grateful to have experienced it. We look forward to the next visit without it being a painful yearning or need. It's having all the best parts of a relationship without any of the head aches or heartbreaks.

 

So yes Delilah, I LOVE married men...

 

cat

[loneskater 25635]

Ahh now it makes sense:)

When a man reveals he is married it gives me a sense of security. It tells me he is seeing me for all my intended purposes and more than likely isn't going to let his feelings get involved. However I have also experienced that this isn't always the case, but only on a couple of occasions and perhaps those occasions were a convenient coincidence:) I seem to attract those;)

 

If married men are more likely not to get attracted then why is the divorce rate so high in this country? I wonder if the stalkers in this business are all single?

 

I view this as a business. It doesn't change facts of life that many men are attracted to women and that attraction is usually not based on type of work the lady does. Another point I doubt men whether single or married would repeat with a lady if there wasn't a connection including some attraction.

 

What is best for the business: repeat clients or someone who doesn't find a lady attractive and see her once so he can add to his trophy collection!!!!

[peacectryguy 12523]

Very good point, Cristy. We can express our likes, desires, preferences, etc and not always be PC. I think most intelligent people understand that and accept it for what it is. Nobody should ever be offended by honesty as long as it isn't intentionally harmful. It seems most of the guys and gals on here understand this aspect pretty well.

[Brad 49548]

If married men are more likely not to get attracted then why is the divorce rate so high in this country? I wonder if the stalkers in this business are all single?

 

I view this as a business. It doesn't change facts of life that many men are attracted to women and that attraction is usually not based on type of work the lady does. Another point I doubt men whether single or married would repeat with a lady if there wasn't a connection including some attraction.

 

What is best for the business: repeat clients or someone who doesn't find a lady attractive and see her once so he can add to his trophy collection!!!!

 

Loneskater, I think you misinterpreted what Cristy was suggesting. She didn't say that married people aren't going to find other women attractive or won't be interested in repeat encounters; she's proposing that married men are less likely to push the boundaries of the SP - client relationship, and try to turn those encounters into something more.

[Ann Gallerie 7910]

One of the elements that brought me to this profession is the sheer number of UNhappily married men.

 

Many men are married to women that they love, or did love. But the pressure of both working, not having time for each other, mortgages, naughty children, aging parents, and long commutes take their toll.

 

A man faces the back half of his life wondering if it were all worth it. They probably haven't had sex in years. He wants to feel like a man again. But if he has an affair, he is going to lose half of everything.

 

This is where the courtesan/mistress comes in.

 

Compensation is the best thing ever. It keeps the lines drawn succinctly in their relationship. I didn't say that love won't creep into it! We are all human. But cash helps.

 

True story: if the man left his wife, he'd lose the house - so he slept in a bath tub for over 2 years.

 

A man sneaks downstairs when his wife is asleep to get on the net and "talk" to a woman with blood in her veins. Sneaking around in their own homes!

 

And if they are busted, they are called monsters.

 

We all need love, affection, and a damn good badabingbadaboom. Life is very good; lets enjoy!

[Ice4fun 78396]

I think married men (like me) see service providers for all kinds if reasons just like single men. We like everyone else are looking for something...i am guessing it is different for each of us. If like me the man is happily married then there is probably some truth in the fact that he us probably not looking to get into a relationship that extends outside the business.

 

Just my opinion

[CristyCurves 169032]

If married men are more likely not to get attracted then why is the divorce rate so high in this country? I wonder if the stalkers in this business are all single?

 

I can't answer that question as I'm not a census taker and my statement was to my experiences only, not in general. To your last couple of questions I'm not sure:) since I'm not a statistician I can't answer with numbers or percentages.

I view this as a business. It doesn't change facts of life that many men are attracted to women and that attraction is usually not based on type of work the lady does. Another point I doubt men whether single or married would repeat with a lady if there wasn't a connection including some attraction.

I also view this as a business, the business of dating and when you date sometimes emotions can take hold, get the better of one:) It's just my opinion and experience that some married men may be more guarded to this. Of course attractions happen to those married and unmarried, I did mention that:). Again, I made a statement to what I have experienced, which of late seems to put off some;) As far as repeating some like that some don't on both sides. There is nothing better or worse, wrong or right with either or. What ever works for you works so do it and enjoy.

 

What is best for the business: repeat clients or someone who doesn't find a lady attractive and see her once so he can add to his trophy collection!!!!

Fortunately for me, when I spend reasonably, I don't have to worry about the financial aspects of this. So as far as what's better for me, when it comes down to repeats and one timers, whoever is the better match for me at the time I book, I'll see. Both are good and enjoyable. But, just because a guy finds a lady attractive doesn't mean he's going to repeat with her. There are plenty that truly enjoy their choice of sp but have only one desire to fulfill and only want one time to do it, never do they repeat with anyone, nor do they collect;)

[peacectryguy 12523]

One thing to add to my earlier comment. I will not ever fall into some scenario where my emotions control my brain. It's not in my makeup and never will be. Therefore, I have no worry of becoming too emotionally connected to a provider despite seeing her more than once. Do I like that lady and feel a connection? Certainly, that is one reason why I repeat with her but it is also nice to be able to avoid the hassles of looking, researching, etc and knowing the likes, dislikes. Comfort is important. I also wouldn't try to book with a lady that clearly expresses that she does not like booking married men, although I haven't really seen too many providers out there who are that particular in that aspect. And obviously, some here have expressed how much they enjoy this part of the business.

[roamingguy 300291]

Ahh now it makes sense:)

When a man reveals he is married it gives me a sense of security. It tells me he is seeing me for all my intended purposes and more than likely isn't going to let his feelings get involved. However I have also experienced that this isn't always the case, but only on a couple of occasions and perhaps those occasions were a convenient coincidence:) I seem to attract those;)

 

Now a question? What if the married man who sees an SP does develop feelings for her...she's not an SP to him, more than a exclusive paid mistress from his end, she is the "other woman" More the woman that this man is having an affair with (in his mind) than a paid companion

and there is an underlying business relationship

The lady is willing to continue seeing the man, even though she has her head on straight that this is at it's core a business relationship. The married man, deludes himself that the business aspect of the relationship will end and they will live happily ever after

Or he will string her along, and she will believe he will leave his wife for her and never does

BTW a similar type of thing could happen with a client who's a single man and a SP who's a single woman

My point, the relationship risks, they are there, whether SP/Client (either, or or both) are single or married.

A rambling

 

RG

[loneskater 25635]

Loneskater, I think you misinterpreted what Cristy was suggesting. She didn't say that married people aren't going to find other women attractive or won't be interested in repeat encounters; she's proposing that married men are less likely to push the boundaries of the SP - client relationship, and try to turn those encounters into something more.

 

I did not misinterpret what she wrote. I just disagrees with some of her points. I have been in this business for 33 years continuously ( no breaks), I am single and I have met numerous ladies in Canada and abroad having lived 4 years overseas. I have been friends with a few of the ladies I met and quite a few over the years have confided in me. Those I met that had client issues, were with married men. And I could write quite a few very bad stories including some stalker ones.

 

So yes I agree with you, that Cristy or anyone for that matter can express heir opinion as long as they are respectful, that also includes me. And anyone, including myself are entitled to disagree or have a different opinion without being told we are misinterpreting others, just because we think differently. The purpose of having discussions is to see different opinions or their wouldn't be any point in discussing issues.

 

Note I did talk about stalker's in my initial post, which I believe that fits pushing boundaries! Maybe all I said should have been quoted not just part of it.

[Ann Gallerie 7910]

Thank you for that, Roaming Guy. Delilah, thank you for this post!

 

Some escorts actively invite mistress scenarios, be it for an hour, or for months on end.

 

Some non-pro gals do the same.

 

The men promise to leave their wives. Fortunately, most of us know the score.

 

Play the tape through: if he really DID leave his wife, first thing you know, you are stuck with His Lordship 24/7, someone else's divorce, social ostracism, hostile offspring, and his laundry. Run! Hide! You pay a very high price for love.

 

Compensation says that you are a professional. If he stops paying, you are not a professional, and your boundaries are shattered. You are having an affair, and we all know where that ends up. Your mom wasn't joking.

 

Escorts/courtesans/mistresses have existed for at least a thousand years because they are compensated to have an expiry date. Some did very well, and some made history, but all had a strong sense of self preservation and self integrity.

 

Cheers!

[roamingguy 300291]

Thank you for that, Roaming Guy. Delilah, thank you for this post!

 

Some escorts actively invite mistress scenarios, be it for an hour, or for months on end.

 

Some non-pro gals do the same.

 

The men promise to leave their wives. Fortunately, most of us know the score.

 

Play the tape through: if he really DID leave his wife, first thing you know, you are stuck with His Lordship 24/7, someone else's divorce, social ostracism, hostile offspring, and his laundry. Run! Hide! You pay a very high price for love.

 

Compensation says that you are a professional. If he stops paying, you are not a professional, and your boundaries are shattered. You are having an affair, and we all know where that ends up. Your mom wasn't joking.

 

Escorts/courtesans/mistresses have existed for at least a thousand years because they are compensated to have an expiry date. Some did very well, and some made history, but all had a strong sense of self preservation and self integrity.

 

Cheers!

 

Not disagreeing, but unless you have your head square on your shoulders, be it as a married or single man, or married or single woman, whether in the SP/Client relationship or outside of it.....when in love/lust/infatuation, the grass always looks greener from the other side...till you get to the other side

Throw in adult kids from both families (speaking as an adult kid who first hand witnessed this) there is short term and long term fallout not even thought of

But I just wanted to make the point that married men are not necessarily risk free for SP's nor are single guys, relationship wise

I suppose for clients, there is the same that could be said about some companions, who may want to have a relationship.

But I do believe it is less marital status that determines potential relationship risk for an SP/Client than the individual person...you are no more safe or at risk if the companion/client is single or married...how she/he's head is wired is more a determining factor

A rambling

 

RG

[Guest Be***iful****lah]

I suppose what I am about to say does not necessarily pin point only married folks but rather those who are in a committed, or somewhat serious relationship.

 

I am a bit of a pervert, and therefore am quite turned on by the fact that I am the "other woman"....regardless of how anyone may define that relationship.

 

It's that whole "forbidden apple" appeal. It feels adventurous, exhilarating, and just plain naughty. This is definitely the little demon on my shoulder speaking when I say that the idea of a man lusting after me while he is in the presence of another woman is really damn sexy.

 

I am sure so many can expand on this appeal....

[Brad 49548]

I did not misinterpret what she wrote. I just disagrees with some of her points. I have been in this business for 33 years continuously ( no breaks), I am single and I have met numerous ladies in Canada and abroad having lived 4 years overseas. I have been friends with a few of the ladies I met and quite a few over the years have confided in me. Those I met that had client issues, were with married men. And I could write quite a few very bad stories including some stalker ones.

 

So yes I agree with you, that Cristy or anyone for that matter can express heir opinion as long as they are respectful, that also includes me. And anyone, including myself are entitled to disagree or have a different opinion without being told we are misinterpreting others, just because we think differently. The purpose of having discussions is to see different opinions or their wouldn't be any point in discussing issues.

 

Note I did talk about stalker's in my initial post, which I believe that fits pushing boundaries! Maybe all I said should have been quoted not just part of it.

 

I guess I'm just confused. I did quote your entire post, so I'm not sure what you mean by the last sentence.

 

Yes, for sure you talked about stalkers. But no one was suggesting that it never happens with married men (or conversely that it always happens with singles), just that in some people's experience it happens more often with single folk.

 

Anyway, we all agree that there's nothing wrong with opposing viewpoints and that people should feel free to express them. It's just that it seemed like you were disagreeing with points that weren't in Cristy's original post.

 

Anyway, I'm quite willing to move on. If I misinterpreted your post then I'm glad you clarified, since politely doing so seems like a helpful thing to do, after all. :)

 

So then, if I'm reading your second post correctly you want to share that your own experience and thoughts are that married men are just as likely to push boundaries as single people. Fair enough. My own intuition would be that while the majority of both single and married guys are respectful of boundaries, of the two married fellows would generally be even more invested in staying discrete. Though no doubt there are many exceptions.

 

Cheers.

 

Additional Comments:

Moving on to another part of the discussion, there's a lot of articles out there on the idea that men and women often find married people more attractive, or at least attractive in different ways.

 

You just have to google anything like "married women more attractive" or "why do women like married men" to find scores of them. I'm not sure how much stock I put in a lot of these articles, and many seem like just-for-fun humour pieces than anything scientific, but given how many people discuss it, there must be something for at least some people to the idea! Or maybe I'm just thinking of the Seinfeld episode where George pretended to be married to attract ladies. :)

[roamingguy 300291]

I guess I'm just confused. I did quote your entire post, so I'm not sure what you mean by the last sentence.

 

Yes, for sure you talked about stalkers. But no one was suggesting that it never happens with married men (or conversely that it always happens with singles), just that in some people's experience it happens more often with single folk.

 

Anyway, we all agree that there's nothing wrong with opposing viewpoints and that people should feel free to express them. It's just that it seemed like you were disagreeing with points that weren't in Cristy's original post.

 

Anyway, I'm quite willing to move on. If I misinterpreted your post then I'm glad you clarified, since politely doing so seems like a helpful thing to do, after all. :)

 

So then, if I'm reading your second post correctly you want to share that your own experience and thoughts are that married men are just as likely to push boundaries as single people. Fair enough. My own intuition would be that while the majority of both single and married guys are respectful of boundaries, of the two married fellows would generally be even more invested in staying discrete. Though no doubt there are many exceptions.

 

Cheers.

 

Additional Comments:

Moving on to another part of the discussion, there's a lot of articles out there on the idea that men and women often find married people more attractive, or at least attractive in different ways.

 

You just have to google anything like "married women more attractive" or "why do women like married men" to find scores of them. I'm not sure how much stock I put in a lot of these articles, and many seem like just-for-fun humour pieces than anything scientific, but given how many people discuss it, there must be something for at least some people to the idea! Or maybe I'm just thinking of the Seinfeld episode where George pretended to be married to attract ladies. :)

 

Just my two cents on the married woman, or married man more attractive

and keeping in mind this other recent thread

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=179205&highlight=canadian+woman+beautiful

Maybe, just maybe, there is something sexy and attractive about a woman (or man) who seems unobtainable. Because of it being illegal in the United States for example, ladies screen and very selective about who they see, which for guys makes American women almost unobtainable, and thus much more desirable. Likewise, a married woman (or man) who commits to her husband/his wife, well that commitment, a lifetime commitment with an oath forsaking all others, maybe that makes the person all the more attractive

Maybe it's the unobtainable or appearance of being unobtainable that makes a person attractive. The chase is more fun than the catch

Ah, what the f*** do I know :-)

 

RG

[Guest Be***iful****lah]

Just my two cents on the married woman, or married man more attractive

and keeping in mind this other recent thread

http://www.cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=179205&highlight=canadian+woman+beautiful

Maybe, just maybe, there is something sexy and attractive about a woman (or man) who seems unobtainable. Because of it being illegal in the United States for example, ladies screen and very selective about who they see, which for guys makes American women almost unobtainable, and thus much more desirable. Likewise, a married woman (or man) who commits to her husband/his wife, well that commitment, a lifetime commitment with an oath forsaking all others, maybe that makes the person all the more attractive

Maybe it's the unobtainable or appearance of being unobtainable that makes a person attractive. The chase is more fun than the catch

Ah, what the f*** do I know :-)

 

RG

 

 

Very true!! I do tend to crave what I know I am not supposed to crave...or want what I don't or shouldn't or can't have. But then again, this trend appears to be human nature. I suppose this falls hand in hand with the whole '' the grass is always greener on the other side''.

 

I like the idea, that even if only temporary, I am that coveted ''grass on the other side''.

[CristyCurves 169032]

Now a question? What if the married man who sees an SP does develop feelings for her...she's not an SP to him, more than a exclusive paid mistress from his end, she is the "other woman" More the woman that this man is having an affair with (in his mind) than a paid companion

and there is an underlying business relationship

The lady is willing to continue seeing the man, even though she has her head on straight that this is at it's core a business relationship. The married man, deludes himself that the business aspect of the relationship will end and they will live happily ever after

Or he will string her along, and she will believe he will leave his wife for her and never does

BTW a similar type of thing could happen with a client who's a single man and a SP who's a single woman

My point, the relationship risks, they are there, whether SP/Client (either, or or both) are single or married.

A rambling

 

RG

 

You are right:) all these scenarios happen or can happen. We are dealing with a sensitive business after all. Pleasure and companionship can sometimes lead us into misinterpretations of feelings of our partner and even of our own. This business of closeness can also create feelings even when we think we are protected from them, married or not. What makes or breaks the ability to continue seeing the same person, or different people is how you handle and understand your feelings. It is never right to take advantage of someone or to lead someone on.

I can only speak to what I've experienced and feel, others will speak to their experiences and feelings and so on. I won't live on what ifs, maybes or possibilities. I'll deal with what happens when it happens and hopefully in a mature and respectful way.

In saying all this I still, from experience and, as someone who has personally dealt with a stalker for 6yrs, who btw was a single man, feel I'm less likely to be emotionally challenged with married men:)