hunknhot 1067 Report post Posted March 19, 2010 Recent events in my personal life are driving me to ask this question. Someone who I met quite randomly and innocently by chance. I know I have felt both in past relationships but this time is very different for some reason. It's so easy when you not in the middle of it. Since I am, I'm a bit cloudy right now. So I reach out the Cerb community to see who has the best definition. I normally have a great compass but my sense of direction is bit off right now... Thoughts and Feedback? hnh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cat 262460 Report post Posted March 19, 2010 Our biological makeup is programmed to make us fall in love to ensure the survival of our species. It is a chemical response and it eventually stabilizes and the cloud lifts. Take time to get to know someone, make no long term commitments until the sky is blue again. Enjoy the experience and take it as it comes. The key tho is to take it one day at time instead of making life plans while you are still euphoric. cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
belladonna 279 Report post Posted March 19, 2010 If love is what you feel for this person, you will know it, and for god's sake go for it, because it's hard to get that feeling every again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Auralie (retired) 227 Report post Posted March 19, 2010 Sometimes I think that love, lust, or whatever you call it, it doesn't really matter- what matters is the practicality of a future that would make both people happy. I really don't mean for that to sound cold- but I've thought about it a lot as of late (and just a disclaimer, I DO change my mind on a regular basis in my philosophical stances, so think of everything I say as a "hmm, maybe?" rather than a fact). Was it really love if we adored a person for a short time and then it's gone? Sure, why not? Who says love has to last forever? Just because a relationship cannot be, does not make it any less than what it was. Love and lust to me are distinct- I love my family. I lust for David Mitchell. But in relationships with men for me they are also inseparable. Does it matter if what I'm feeling is a little of both? Not really. What matters, in the end, is the intertwined future of both of you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jman47 233 Report post Posted March 19, 2010 Hello hnh, You certainly pose a question that can go very deep and get very philosophical. Many people have tried for a long time to try to define and quantify love. Google it and you will see everything from the mushy heart stuff to a scientist trying to explain the chemical reactions to the clergy trying to explain the inner being. Our perception and our definition of love is deeply based in each of us. It is based on our life experiences, including some we may not even remember. It is further defined by our expectations, our hopes and our dreams. To me the definition of "LUST" is simple. It is simply the strong desire for something...could be anything. Our conversation is is obviously based in a lust for physical contact, sexual gratification or intimacy. But we can also lust for power. We can lust for a new car. We can lust for the latest flat screen...you get the picture (lol, pun intended);). The definition of "LOVE" gets much more complicated. Love is a physical and/or an intellectual and/or a spiritual and/or and emotional bond with another being. While society often uses the term interchangeably with "LIKE" when referencing inanimate objects, to me its silly to love a car or a tv, etc. Some may ask why. I would simply say for there to be love, in my opinion, it has to be reciprocal and your car will never love you back. :lol: Of course there is also unrequited love...but that is a subject for another thread. Back on subject, belladonna said earlier when you feel it, you will know it. In my experience I would agree with that statement. When you fall in love it will feel like nothing else. The essence of the other person will consume your mind, heart, soul and body. Love, true love is unselfish and unconditional plus many, many other things. But time is the true test. If you are not certain...give it time. Be sure. Make sure there is reciprocation. And of course there is the reality check...will it work for both? Time - love and the question of permanence. Will it last? How long? Only that can be answered by the "couple". A large number of people believe we mate or pair for life...then the reality of the divorce rates just slaps you in the face. Is it because it is too easy to divorce in today's society of "do-overs". Or is it because man is entitled to more than one meaningful partnership relationship in his lifetime? Hmmm....:?: Yet another topic. I have many thoughts on this and could go on, but I believe that covers the high spots and gets to your point. Good luck in all your ventures. Have fun. jman47 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted March 20, 2010 Wow a neat topic and isn't great to be alive? Being a little older I've pondered these and most life type things many times. People come and go in our lives all the time and some we have very intense and intimate relationships with and with others it's much more casual. Have I been in love a lot or have I been in lust a lot, the answer to both is probably yes. Can you be in love with more than one person a time I would say yes. And it will happen when and where you least expect it. To me love/lust are inseparable. I can't be in lust with some one I don't have some form of love for. I agree that love doesn't have to be forever and it's ok to just enjoy it and ride the wave and when it's done it's done. It doesn't diminish it for me at all. In fact I'm not even concerned if I'm not loved back the same way. I promised myself a long time ago that I'm going to live a lot, laugh a lot and love a lot. And that's exactly what I'm doing! Peace Mr Green Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted March 20, 2010 Lust is simple and fleeting, love is intense and overpowers you. However, there is no real definition that will satiate your wish for an answer. I would suggest living in the moment and see where it takes you. Only thing I can really say is that if you're questioning it, you're still not sure. When you know, you know. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A***** A***** 510 Report post Posted March 20, 2010 Love is for life, lust is for a night:lol: Sorry, I really don't quite know what to ad, but that. There are different kinds of love, as in between a mother and child, pet and owner, husband and wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted March 20, 2010 I honestly don't know the difference any more. I used to know, but now it's all cloudy. I don't really care either way....I'm just trying to enjoy myself! :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Newton 714 Report post Posted March 20, 2010 There're overlaps and there're also distinctions. One liners: To lust is to possess the other, to love is to share oneself. Lust makes you bored and boring quickly, love makes you interested and interesting over an extended period of time. Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NotchJohnson 214071 Report post Posted March 20, 2010 I think everyone here as had lust for someone else, but love is totally something else. For someone to love another, must love himself/herself and accept himself/herself the way that they are (height,weight, hair color, culture, etc. ). The most important factor in love for a relationship, it must be reciprocated, you can not love the other one more then they love you. I'm not an expert in this but have been through so many different relationship in my live to discuss a little about it. And I have been on both side of it, meaning I had more love to the other then she did for me and also had less love to the other then she did for me. Either way one of us was not happy in the relationship, and that does not work well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clancy 142 Report post Posted March 22, 2010 Love is never wasted if it is given freely with no expectations. I think it changes constantly, either growing or subsiding. I`ve loved girlfriends but was not "in love" with some of them(lust,rebound, either way I just knew they weren`t the one), had my heart broken a few times,one ripped it right out of my chest, chewed it up and spit it out in front of me, kind of gave up for awhile. It`s now easier to determine who I`m not "in love" with. I`ve survived and grown from each experience and if I ever feel it again I will completely surrender to it. You learn being true to yourself is the best thing for both. I may have passed up the chance because I was jaded or didn`t recognize it, you can be too cautious. If it was me I would embrace it completely. Life is too short to not take the chance and it`s a wonderfull ride however long it lasts. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dirkgently 1778 Report post Posted March 22, 2010 Absolutely cannot tell the difference, at least in the short run. But a little time and a different perspective and you'll figure it out (thanks again akhenaton). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Apex2006 1071 Report post Posted March 22, 2010 Yes I can, Love will cost you much more money and most probably end up in divorce! LOL Just kidding! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ekimout 188 Report post Posted March 22, 2010 Lust is wanting to get her between the sheets. Love is taking the time to go with her and pick out the sheets. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hunknhot 1067 Report post Posted March 22, 2010 Well ... the definitions are pretty good and the suggestions vary widely so far.. I'm pretty sure I have been lusting but either way.. it's very nice. Thanks for all for your feedback. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antlerman 17064 Report post Posted March 22, 2010 I have been holding this thought fo a while.....but in an Ian Flemming book the Author of the James Bond series....there is a description of Bond standing at the grave of his wife.....and engraved on the stone is the phrase..... Some love is dirty, Some love is rust, But the best love of all is lust......... I do think it was from the Goldfinger book. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Report post Posted March 22, 2010 I like the saying from original sin. Lust is to take, take, and take some more and love is to give and your fucked if you feel both.:bddog: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
