Your Reasons

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Naomi, good thread and certainly a fair question to ask. I have no problem being asked for references. Still relatively new to this I was curious how I would build a respectable reputation if my first encounters needed this. Fortunately, this wasn't a problem.

 

I read the threads/posts and recommendations of the SPs...so isn't that in fact a reference? The girls I've met have been mainly based on great recommendations/references along with their posts and simply the way they show their character.

 

As some have stated, part of the human nature and the whole GFE plays with our minds that the SP I'm seeing is really only seeing me. Then with that you do feel uncomfortable asking your 'girlfriend' if she can be your reference so you can have another 'girlfriend'. I know this isn't the case but I think for mainy clients a little of this phsychology is at play.

 

Keep asking for references. For those clients that have nothing to hide they won't mind. And in the end your safety trumps our insecurities.

 

WC

[PistolPete 61421]

Along the same lines right? Either way you slice it the result will be the same, a helpful tool for the ladies.

Maybe there should be some sort of "good client" code...

SPs can change the codes regularly so you only know it if you continue to be good clients... lol

[Parker 19761]

I've only been asked to provide a reference once, by a reputable popular girl visiting from out of town that I wanted to see. I asked a girl I know but felt embarrassed about it.

 

The visiting girl never came for her visit after all!

 

The whole thing was weird and uncomfortable and I've decided never to ask a girl to be a reference again!

 

 

Exactly! This is why I asked... because an uncomfortable/bad situation could throw you off the idea of references as well...

There are just so many reasons, and not all of them bad.

 

I think it's pretty clear from this that references are not bad or good, just another means of screening..

One that I will keep, but not necessarily solely use...

 

Big thanks to everyone who answered, you have all given me some very valuable insight.

[Ragnaglar 440]

I agree with Pistolpete entirely, I think references are a fine idea, especially for an independant.

 

Safety is paramount

 

what I think is some guys don't have a lot of rep built up or are so concerned about their privacy they don't want anyone to know anything about them.

 

Just a shot in the dark!

 

Peace.

 

 

There is no difference when you ask for a reference Naomi or any other SP here on CERB or where ever they might be advertising.

 

They (references) are not horribly wrong as far as I'm concerned.

 

I completely understand that any SP should ask for a reference, after all it is only common sense, because it is for your (SP's) "Safety".

 

If the gents don't understand that, or have a difficult time with it, it is there loss.

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[capitalman 3861]

I'd just like to add that a girl that asks for references gives me the idea that she is discerning and picky about who she sees, which is something I like and appreciate!

[Peachka 4334]

The one time I was asked to give a reference, the SP was a no-show. This lead me to wonder what happened. I had a great time with the SP I asked so I don't think there was a problem, it was likely on the part of the SP that wanted the reference. But again, it left me wondering what happened and should I just move on & forget about both of them.

[jman47 233]

I take no issue with providing references. I agree with Ragnaglar safety is paramount. Reference checks in the states is SOP. There are also services available that provide this info for the ladies once someone is entered into the system...that makes it easier for both parties involved. In my experience so far reference checks are common in the lower 48, not so common north of the border.

 

Relative to privacy ... this business is built around discretion. I never had a concern with that. And there is a way around being a newbie and not having references. The provider will typically ask for a legit business name and number. All they are trying to verify is that you are who you say you are and not some nut case or LE.

 

Have fun.

 

jman47

[pjrd 324]

I`m also a service provider in a different field. We don`t usually ask our customers to provide references from other providers in our field. We check them out with other providers kinda the same way we do it here on this board. I ask other contractors I know if they have ever worked for so and so and was he or her good to work for, did they pay well, on time etc? I guess what I`m trying to say is check out the guys the same way we check you out. Look up our posts, ask our friends that are providers and do your research. You have a bad date section. I know you see lots of customers and can`t screen them all for references so you have to go with us here or take your chances like the MP girls or the Agency girls.

I think there`s a couple girls I see that would feel threatened if I asked them to recommend me to another girl for fear of loosing my business. It`s just little insecurities

[Parker 19761]

I`m also a service provider in a different field. We don`t usually ask our customers to provide references from other providers in our field. We check them out with other providers kinda the same way we do it here on this board. I ask other contractors I know if they have ever worked for so and so and was he or her good to work for, did they pay well, on time etc? I guess what I`m trying to say is check out the guys the same way we check you out. Look up our posts, ask our friends that are providers and do your research. You have a bad date section. I know you see lots of customers and can`t screen them all for references so you have to go with us here or take your chances like the MP girls or the Agency girls.

I think there`s a couple girls I see that would feel threatened if I asked them to recommend me to another girl for fear of loosing my business. It`s just little insecurities

 

See, I think a lot of us use references as a quicker and easier way of trying to screen you...

 

As I said in a previous post, I already spend far too much time screening clients and not enough time seeing them.. If I had to ask around and view all your posts, that would at least triple the time I spent. So while it seems fine and dandy from a clients perspective.. it wouldn't so much if we spent so much time trying to figure out if you were alright that we didn't have time to see you..

 

It also wouldn't work very good for those people who have tons of posts, only most of them are jokes or photos... What about people who don't contribute? What about ladies who don't have access to the SP only area?

 

I think the whole "fend for yourself" attitude in this business is outdated..

 

I also don't really think agency girls CHOOSE to 'take chances' .. I think they actually expect the people taking calls to be doing some sort of screening as well.. While they may not take references, agencies have other ways of screening you that they don't air publicly....

[buggernot 588]

I've never needed a reference to date, but if I was required to provide one, I would gladly ask someone to provide that for me. To be blunt, any girl that kicks up a fuss because she's possessive in any way can go fuck herself. Sounds harsh, but I don't want anything to do with someone who wants me to be 'monogamous' in this world. I think it would speak volumes about her character if that were the reaction. If she didn't want to give out a reference because she thinks I'm psychotic, that's a different story - I hardly think that is true though. I hope ;)

 

Personally, I think the guys that complain about girls asking for references or their methods in doing business are no different than those who bitch and moan about sp's they believe are charging an excessive amount of money. By getting a reference, all the sp is trying to do is err on the side of caution for her safety. It's all about what makes them feel comfortable, just like how a client might feel more comfortable not providing personal info or doesn't want to ask another girl if it's ok to 'see' somebody else.

 

Slight threadjack here, but how often does it happen where a reference turns out bogus? I've seen a few people here and there that got into a job with a good reference, and they ended up being the equivalent of a retarded cousin. Still, the reference system seems to be a much safer path to take for a sp...

[Apex2006 1071]

The ladies should have an area where they can actually read rec's on the gents. I personally have no issues with it.

 

I agree with Pete, I would have no problems with this area.

The only thing is that every time an SP meets with a hobby, the hobby?s will always want to know what is being said about them. Could be a pain in the ASS for the ladies!

It would be nice if we could use our friends list as our references that had been discussed in prior threads. You want to know about me, visit my friends list and ask one of the ladies. Also on the SP side, your friends should be people that you have no problems with.

I know that people whom are new to the site will have some trouble getting started, but we all started somewhere. Just like the new SP?s need to build up their reputations with no recos, no photos and no clients.

IMHO

Apex

[GHT 798]

Naomi,

 

I think you are smart to ask for references. Its obviously important to you to have clients that are known quantities. I would think that your increased comfort level makes for better sessions for everyone involved.

 

The only downside with references is that you might be missing out on some good clients because they are unable or unwilling to provide them.

 

GHT

[Kathryn Bardot 99339]

If someone's unwilling to provide a reference, that's their loss. I'm not about to compromise my safety because Joe Blow doesn't want to provide me with a contact. Obviously, I don't ask for a reference every time; if you have a good and active board presence, I'm not going to ask, but my one no show so far (when I was new and green and took a chance) was from a phone call who claimed not to know what cerb is - and I only advertise here.

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[BownChickaBown 4829]

I always wondered if there was a 'Hobbyist Recommendation' section in the SPs area.

 

Simply a thread where the ladies post CERB handles to people who have checked out to be who they say they are.

 

Ex: Met BownChickaBown twice now and have had no problems. Would repeat.

 

Something basic that can act as a reference to other SPs deciding on whether to conduct business with said hobbyist.

 

...at the same time, I can see a shroud of secrecy (for various reasons) behind announcing which clients a SP has been having success with. Seems like a catch 22 to it all.

 

I can also imagine some hobbyist want absolute discretion with whom they have been seeing, and not anyone else know who they where with unless they say so.

 

In the end, it seems like the current case-by-case basis may work best, as I believe its a SPs prerogative to ask, as much as its a Hobbyists preogative to not provide one, as neither person has to do business with the other for whatever reason if they don't want to.

 

:69: Respect each other and play safe! :bddog:

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

References are important for the reasons already mentioned...as already said if your an established Member of CERB then usually we don't need to ask anyone.

 

Many of us are Sp friendly...i only add gents {to my friends list} i have met or know to be clients of other reputable Sp's. I think many of the Sp's on CERB know this already but if not they can certainly check my list.

 

Some gents have mentioned to me that when we ask for a reference they think we go into detail...that's not the case. We usually just say {yes he's reliable} or something to that effect. Nothing major as I don't feel it's our place to say anything more.

 

[Apex2006 1071]

 

Many of us are Sp friendly...i only add gents {to my friends list} i have met or know to be clients of other reputable Sp's. I think many of the Sp's on CERB know this already but if not they can certainly check my list.

 

 

 

 

 

Can I be on your friends list!!!! :cry:

 

Apex

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

Can I be on your friends list!!!! :cry:

 

Apex

 

Your one of the first one's on my list FB...lol

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Most guys refuse to give references because let's face it when they want to see an escort most of the time it is not planned ( sometimes the little head thinks first.lol) and on very short notice and some of them think they don't have to because there will always be someone else who won't ask for it. If a guy is really intent on seeing a particular escort who requires a reference he will get one. Some guys in my experience have been really rude about it demanding to know why such a thing is required.

 

If escorts decided one day that all clients needed a reference there would be a more positive shift in the business. Sadly this business seems to have a lot of men who are the secret agent types and like to play the cloak and dagger game. As long as there are women out there who don't care so much about their safety then this will continue.

[Auralie (retired) 227]

I don't know that it would be a good idea to have a "safe" list on the SP only side because 1) it would be an easily abused feature and create even more work for the mod

2) not all girls have access to the SP area- I don't advertise on EC or have any friends that do, so I cannot access it. This is the same for many people I'm sure.

It's an interesting thread that has come up a few times, I know references are the thing I hate most because I don't hear from 1/2 the guys after I ask for them. But I have had guys use an SP as a reference, then I ask that SP and she doesn't know the guy- makes me glad I check.

[etasman2000 15994]

2) not all girls have access to the SP area- I don't advertise on EC or have any friends that do, so I cannot access it. This is the same for many people I'm sure.

 

According to mod advertising on EC isn't a strict requirement. See here and here.

 

Most guys refuse to give references because let's face it when they want to see an escort most of the time it is not planned ( sometimes the little head thinks first.lol) and on very short notice.....

 

If someone knows that is their MO then they can pre-plan by using a third-party verification system like DateCheck. (I am not on DateCheck, it is just the easiest one for me to remember :handjob:)