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There's a big difference between being a sex worker and being a streetwalker. Think of it this way: marital sex is not only legal, but thought to be healthy and encouraged. But married couples are NOT encouraged to flaunt it in public. It would be just as illegal for me to give my husband a blowjob in a side alley as it would be for a streetwalker to do so. It's about respect for everybody else. The trouble is that the general public sees sex work as a form of business -- and so they expect sex workers to do like any other business does and pay for their own overhead. Preferably in appropriate locations. And when you think about it, this is reasonable. Look at people's reaction to spammers in email and internet forums -- some get pretty ugly about it! It's not right for people to act out against streetwalkers in violent ways, of course -- but it should be remembered that the streetwalkers are flying in the face of the public's rights in the first place. I am a prostitute and I've lived in or close to red light districts -- I didn't like it! I don't think ANYBODY should have the right to walk all over everyone else's rights to turn the streets into their business venue -- not if it were dental hygienists, not if it were lawyers, not if it were real estate agents. If people want to be in business, they should pay the price to get themselves set up. Incall is not technically legal in Canada, but for whatever reason, a blind eye is turned to it in many areas. I don't agree with that, and I resent having had to compete on that plane -- but still, the blind eye has its limits. If the neighbours become too aware that something is going on, they still have the right to complain to LE and get something done about it. And that's as it should be because residential neighbourhoods don't exist for the purpose of prostitutes (or welders or textile mills, for that matter) making money, but for the purpose of people living in, families growing up in. We are extremely fortunate here in Canada that prostitution is legal, and we are able to work on an outcall basis, completely legally. If someone wants to push the limits of that, to do incall or even to solicit in public places, then all I can say is that they'd be extremely foolish not to be so discreet that they'd never offend anyone's sensibilities. And that's damned hard to do as a streetwalker. I have often been criticized for my anti-streetwalking stance -- but really, it's as much out of concern for the women who put themselves out there as it is for the communities they damage with their selfish acts. To me, streetwalking makes about as much sense as skydiving without a reserve parachute. Sure, I made probably well over 2500 jumps and only needed my own reserve on a main that I packed once -- but I was damned happy to have it the one time I needed it. Streetwalkers take enormous personal risks, and the overwhelming majority of sex workers murdered in North America are streetwalkers. I haven't had much contact with streetwalkers in recent years, but back in the 70s, my roommate was the Mother Theresa of streetwalkers. She thought she could save them. When she'd find one bruised and battered by her pimp or some john, she'd bring them home to our place and try to help them. She'd explain to them how they could work more safely, with more dignity and actually make more money than they were making on the streets! We'd give them clothes, feed them, sober them up, and every single time, they went running back to the streets. And too often, they'd betray us to their pimps after they left, and we'd come home to find our place ransacked and robbed. It's a conundrum. Just like we don't fully understand the reason that some people are homeless, despite so many programs and outreach efforts, we'll probably never understand why some women and children turn to the streets. But what's more important, in my mind, is why the johns are there. There are certainly safer and more discreet options for them. The fact that they turn to the streets, to me, is telling -- it says that they want women at the mercy of their own desperation and low self-esteem. Women for whom a small amount of money is worth risking their lives and the scorn of society. That seems ugly to me, and I really don't understand why society is so easy on them. Dry up the market and you'll do a lot more to solve the street problem than you ever will by stigmatizing the lost souls out there risking it all on the streets. But until we get serious about severe penalties for the johns, we have no hope of solving the problem. One thing I do think might help is if organizations committed to helping women/children on the streets would offer them sound advice regarding how to work legitimately in sex work in Canada, rather than to try to save them from sex work altogether. The problem isn't that they're sex workers. The problem is that they're on the street.

Lot of guys are calling me, asking me how I work, if there's somthing they should do before coming to my place, how to be at ease toghetter... Here's my Top 10 of things I appreciate... They are not always available (the guy having a relationship, or in a rush), but others are VERY appreciate from most of escorts, I think... 1. I feel more confident when the client places the money in a way I can see it and count it as soon as he enters my room... 2. I preffer when he uses my stuff instead of his... If I am using a certain brand instead of another, it's because I feel more cormftable with it, and I know this stuff is safe. Also, some SPs may be allergic to yours, and eventhough you lost your time, but hers also... 3. I love when we get to know each others a bit before the session. I'm not the kind of bang-bang, ciao... I'm about to give you the best service I can... Help me by telling me what you like and what you don't... 4. I feel a little nervous about cops... I preffer he undresses before I have to ask... I am an SP, your not the first guy I saw naked... And don't worry, NOBODY has a perfect body, so don't be shy, I've seen worst! 5. I feel more at ease when he's asking for a quick shower before the session... In most of incall places, there's shower and towells available... Use it! 6. There's a line between rough and violent... Please, respect your SP... 7. Alchool and drugs can create issues or behaviors that will make both uncormftable... 8. If you are not an expert (and there's no experts in sex) take the SPs advice... We are doing this for a living... If there's something she feels wrong about, either she will teach you how to do it properly, or asking you not to do it... Everybody has something to learn... 9. Rough beard can causes a lot of dammage to an SP... Either in kissing or DATY... Also, it's not fun to suck on an hairy dick and sack... Please think of us... Sanded nails are also always appreciated... 10. TO RESPECT EACH OTHER'S LIMITS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR YOU AND HER... Again, showing up to your wife with a shaved sack, when you never did it in 20 years is a bit suspicious... Not all of lines of conducts are possible, and we, as girls, can understand that... But please understand that due to different factors your mileage may vary(YMMV) according to how many efforts we both put into are meeting... AFTER ALL, AN SP IS SOMEBODY YOU WILL NEVER EXPECT TO GET A DATE WITH, BUT IS THERE TO GIVE YOU THE BEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE!!!

Fairly new here but I felt I needed to vent about something. I have had the opportunity to enjoy the company of several escorts and have had mostly positive experiences. I also try and keep to one or two SPs on a regular basis and have found that they are respectful, courteous and polite when treated with respect. however, they all have several horror stories about some men not treating them with respect. This is inexcusable. These ladies are doing their customers a favour and their company is a privilege. And until what they do is recognized by the law, they are quite often taking chances. I could write an entire novel on this and I realize I'm probably preaching to the converted on this site but i felt I had to vent. Thanks.:-x

This topic has hit very close to home for me, and so I will share something extremely personal because I think it's relevant to the topic. And it also speaks to the violence that anyone can experience, not just sex workers. In my third year of university, way before I became a sex worker, I was raped by an ex-boyfriend. And it took me almost four years before I admitted it was even rape and stopped blaming myself. I suffered from severe depression at the time, and was in a vulnerable spot and I didn't want to be alone. I called him and he refused to come over unless I agreed to sleep with him, and because I was so desperate for company, I agreed, even though I did not want to. When he got there, I told him I wasn't going to sleep with him and he got very irate. He said he wasn't leaving unless I slept with him because he "didn't come over for nothing." I continued to say no, that I wasn't up to it, and I started to cry. He unzipped his pants, laid back on my bed, and told me to "get on." I shook my head and he just stayed in the same position and repeated how he wasn't leaving until he got what he wanted. So I fucked him. And I cried the entire time. And I blamed myself for giving in. Rape doesn't need to be violent for it to be rape. I took the following from a rape survivor website: If your partner has sex with you under any of the following circumstances, it is rape/sexual assault: Physical violence i.e. hitting, choking Threats with weapons Continuing sexual activity after you have indicated you wish to stop. (It doesn't matter if you initially consented; people change their minds for a number of reasons all the time. Your wishes should be respected). Overpowering you with physical strength, pinning you down Threats to harm you or a third person Threats to your property/pets Threats to rape you if you don't give in -that basically says "let me rape you or I'll rape you" - sex gained under such a threat is rape. Depriving you of liberty until you acquiesce to a sexual demand; i.e. "you don't leave this room until I get what I want". Having sexual intercourse with you while you are sleeping or incapacitated by drugs/alcohol to the extent that you cannot give or withdraw consent Refusal to allow you to sleep until you give in to sexual demands (note: sleep deprivation is a recognized form of torture) Sexual activity after continuous pressure on you to have sex before you are ready, to perform acts you have stated you don't like; or just going ahead and doing it. Putting you in a position where you must engage in one form of sexual activity to prevent something "worse" from happening i.e. you have to engage in oral sex in order to avoid anal rape. It is important that you realize you do not have to have physically fought or even said "no" for an act to be regarded as sexual assault. Tears or other expression of discomfort are more than reasonable indicators that you do not want the sexual activity. Often, sexually violent partners do not actually seek consent, or if you do say no, it is not taken any notice of. Remember that submission is not the same as consent.

I think all the obvious expectations have been stated. I think the most important being that I expect my gentleman callers to have proper hygiene. I always have soap (pump style) and fresh hand towels available. A shower is also available if need be, but please respect that that is part of the time we are together. I have gotten to the point where I almost never allow Digits unless I already know the client and he has washed his hands and has trimmed nails. I am not going to take the chance of being jabbed with dirty and or long nails. I always say, push the pads of your fingertips, not the nail! Even guys who do not intend to hurt you that way can if they're not careful. I only use my own condoms and I put it on to ensure it is on correctly. If I perform oral with a condom, I will change the condom if we go to intercourse. I have only had a condom break once and it was after a guy fiddled with it by pulling the end tight and not leaving a little slack. That was years ago and has never happened since. If I don't want to kiss you, perform oral without condom or suck your balls, think about why that is???? If I have to spell it out for you, I will. If your a smoker, I will not allow CIM..I do not like the taste of nicotine. If you have an issue I should be aware of (ed, premature ejaculation, prostate problems (blood in semen), etc.), please let me know. I will not judge or laugh at you. By telling me, you may be sparing us both embarassment or frustration during the session. I am fairly assertive and for the most part do not get men who are "rough" with me. I don't know if it's because I'm older, but I rarely experience someone trying to cross that line with me. Sometimes guys get a little excited, so I have to watch they don't pull out too fast and have the condom go flying etc. Since I state my boundaries up front (no head pushing, no real deep throating, no coming in my mouth without telling me you're going to bust), I rarely have to give warning. Please, don't go near my bum. Exit only. Don't try to negotiate that with me. I am old enough to know I do not like it and, yes, I have tried it and no, I do not like it. Don't think you're going to be guy who is going to show me how to enjoy it because those other guys didn't know what they were doing. You know nothing about me, so don't even go there. Luckily, this does not happen very often. Finally, don't aske me if I'm "open minded". What the hell does that mean? In my experience, most of the time it means, do you do anal, but hey, not always. I have been surprised at what "open minded" means to people. That's like saying, do you like food? Be specific. What exactly is it you are trying to ask me. I am a big girl. I can handle being asked a question, it's just the way you might ask me: "do you do anal" is a lot different than "can I fuck your ass". Finally, please respect the time limit. I am not a clock watcher and I do not rush my clients, but if you have paid for a half hour session, please do not try to push the envelope by continuing to "try" after the half hour is up. I may go over a few minutes, but if you would like to stay longer, then you need to up the donation. Thanks for this thread Grasshopper..good one.