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Showing content with the highest reputation since 02/11/07 in all areas

  1. 124 points
    Once in a while you come to realize that so many of our members really don't "get" the whole hobby experience, or rather, they understand that there are rules but believe they are somehow exempt. So let's help them. Let's give some handy tips to make this a more wonderful experience for all. This is a pleasant place so let's keep it constructive... and be aware that the rules shouldn't just be for clients, you can also add some helpful tips that may help a new provider too! Here goes: 1. Appointment time is at 2:00 pm, what time do I arrive? Ummmmm. Hmmmmm. What part of 2:00 pm is ambiguous? A 2 o'clock appointment means you are at her door at 2. Not 1:55, not 2:10. It's seems petty but when you screw up her schedule, you may be screwing up MY schedule. I may be the appointment at 3. I have things to do... and my schedule may not be as loosey goosey as yours. I may be using a very small window of time or I may have "commitments" that see me arriving like clockwork elsewhere. Regardless, when the little hand is at 2 and the big hand is at 12, be where you are supposed to be. 2. "I am awesomely wicked good in bed, and I often masturbate to pictures of myself nude, because I am that good looking. Can we negotiate a better rate?" In a word, No. Would you go to a restaurant and say, "I am a really good eater, can I get a better price on that steak?" Would you go to a lawyer and say, "I am an awesome criminal, can you represent me for free?" Would you go to the dentist and say, "My teeth are so bad that you should fix them all for $50!" A service provider gets paid at a set rate because she is a professional. She is good... no, not just good... wickedly awesome good, at what she does. Your part is the compensation, her part is the wicked awesome part. Pay the pretty lady and be happy. 3. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Ever step into an elevator and stand next to someone who smells like they have never met a bar of soap they liked? Ever met someone that looked like they were an extra in the Walking Dead? Have you ever gone into a bathroom after someone and wondered if they ate something dead? Step one. Go to the potty. Do your business. Wipe. Wipe again. Wipe again. and then, wipe again. Do the optical test. Last wipe. Is there any residue? If yes, start over. If no, then proceed to step two. Step Two. Shower. Clean EVERYWHERE. Rinse. Repeat. Did you pay attention to anywhere in particular??? Hmmm??? Go back to those places. Make em sparkle. (at this point I do suggest that artificial glitter is NOT necessary.) Get out of the shower. Towel dry (for pete's sake use a clean towel!)... apply a generous amount of deodorant/anti-perspirant. Brush your teeth. (if additional grooming is required, please do that too.) Step three. Clothing. Go to the place where you keep your clean clothes. No. Not the place where you put the stuff that you THINK you can wear again. The CLEAN clothes. You know that stuff that you just took from the dryer and folded nicely?? That's the stuff. Wear that shit. Uh oh... what if I have to do step one again?? Then repeat ALL the steps. Cuz skidmarks are not sexy. Febreeze showers are not acceptable. 4. I have to cancel, what do I do? Give your head a smack. With a hammer. Stop. Now take a pointy thing and stick it with great force into your upper thigh, avoiding the artery. Now, go to your car. Start it. Open the door, put your foot beneath a tire and have someone put that car in reverse. Cancellations? NOT COOL. We all know that shit happens. A death in the family. A sick kid. Decapitation with farm machinery. Thermonuclear war. Explosion of your planet from a death star ray. That shit is acceptable.... but you still owe the pretty lady an explanation AND a cancellation fee. When you cancel, providers don't eat. When providers don't eat they get distended bellies and look like kids from the CARE commercials. When you cancel, providers give not only you, but also your city, a bad reputation. This makes you masturbate more. Because you will never get laid again. Ever. You will over develop muscles in only one arm. Your clothes will fit poorly. People will figure it out and suspect you are the notorious masturbating king of cancellations. They will hunt you down and kill your family. Let's keep little Bobby and Joanie safe. If you make an appointment, keep that appointment. Your family will love you for it. 5. "I'm a little short on cash. Do you think she will notice if the envelope is a bit short?" In a word, yes. She will also point out that your penis is a bit short.... and that your skill level is a bit short... and that you cry like a bitch when you have your pathetic little man-gasm. Do you want that??? Do YOU WANT THAT, bitch??? Wow. That was a bit over-emphatic. Gonna step away from the computer and take a valium. BACK!!!! Where were we... yes. Shorting your provider. Not COOL. Remember, providers have special powers. They communicate telepathically. As soon as you walk out that door, she will know and so will all of her allies in the super friends. They will combine their superpowers and make sure that you never get wood again.... and if you do, it will be at inappropriate times... like at funerals or family gatherings or when talking to your grandfather or something like that. Seriously?? Give your head a shake. If you are short then GET the money and make sure you have it set aside BEFORE you book. You will have a wickedly awesome good time... just pay the pretty lady what you agreed to and enjoy! 6. Can I pay her in drugs? Hmmmm. Does your banker take drugs in lieu of money? Have you offered Rogers drugs in return for their cable/home phone/cell phone/internet bundle? When you get groceries at Loblaws, do they have a special drawer that says "financial equivalent in drugs?" You know the answer. "No, you addled-pated simpleton." Remember the distended belly part from above? Providers take cash because cash buys groceries, pays bills and looks pretty. Carrying cash will not get you arrested. Using cash is the engine that runs our capitalist society. "All you need is cash, cash is all you need." The Beatles sang that, I think. Your turn....
  2. 72 points
    Hello Cerb..!! I would like to have your opinion about a subject that I would like to share with you for a long moment. I know that a similar thread has been do in another forum from another province but I thought it was important to make one for Ottawa. I have been solicited, Im sure Im not the only one, for ''only this service'' and not being offered the respect for my time or sessions. As well, the fact of underpricing, cutting price for these '' onlys''. There's a lot of users who asked me ''Whats your rate only for a BJ'' or ''I want one hour but not intercourse...'' Maybe Im wrong, but I dont see a difference between having intercourse or not in my session. So, what happen to our time?? Why ''just'' a BJ doesnt worth the same thing than intercourse ???? Probably some girls offering a '' BJ price '' and I respect that but some users have to respect girls who doesnt. I think that we are not offering ''just this'' or ''that service'' but a COMPLETE service even if you are SP or MA. Should we reduce our rates but start to ask extra for everything?? If you want to kiss here, its +x$... if you want to touch here its +x$... sounds ridiculous no? I think its the same thing for us when we are solicited like this. Maybe Im wrong, so that is why I asked for you opinion and I think we need to talk about it if we want to inform new users. Ps: Sorry For my english..... ;)
  3. 64 points
    Disclaimer: I realize that the majority of you are paying for a sexual service and that your needs should be met within the boundaries of the escort in question. That is the service I am providing. However, that being said, I would like to call attention to what I like to refer to as "jack-hammering." This is basically extended penetrative sex and nothing else. You may be convinced that good sex requires only penetration and stamina--as well all know, women want a man who can last (I hope you can sense the sarcasm there), or perhaps it is purely selfish on your part, you do want to get your money's worth after all. So you pound your paid sex partner, over and over, squeezing in every possible available second. In which case, I am not a blow-up doll. I am not an object solely for your use. Keep in mind, I do not think it is a problem, for example, if you would like to simply pay to receive a blowjob, provided you realize the skill and time involved in administering a good blowjob. And I do not think penetrative sex itself is bad. But if you are interested in engaging in a full range of sexual behaviour, please realize that "sex" does not simply equal penetration for as long as humanly possible. After awhile it is painful, un-stimulating and rather boring. If a woman is not turned on, she doesn't create those delicious lubricating fluids that can make penetrative sex so wonderful. So take the time to pay attention to things like kissing and groping and licking and nibbling and so on. If the first thing you're going for is penetration, you have skipped so many amazing, naughty fun things to do to one another. While we are providing a very intimate service, aimed at generating your pleasure and satisfaction, we have emotions, and physical limits. So keep that in mind the next time you're with your favourite lady. Happy pooning!
  4. 56 points
    Common adult industry sex terms, abbreviations, codes, codewords, terminology, acronyms, lingo, and glossary. What does this mean, what is the definition of, as defined in the dictionary, and what do the letters stand for: AAMP = Apartment Asian Massage Parlor. Based in a residential apartment instead of a commercial storefront. ABC = american born chinese ABJ = american born japanese Agency = a company that manages calls, bookings, and advertising for a group of escorts. AMP = Asian Massage Parlor analingus = licking anus Asian = analingus Asian Cowgirl = girl on top, squatting ASP = Adult Service Provider, or alt.sex.prostitution newsgroup ATF = all time favorite ATM = ass to mouth = penis, toy, finger goes from ass to mouth. attempts = trying to orgasm Aunt Flo = menstruation, period B&S = bait and switch = person who shows up is a different one than advertised babyback = petite, young, attractive Asian balloons = breast implants BB = bareback = without condom BJ = blowjob = oral sex = fellatio BBBJ = bare back blow job = BJ without condom BBBJTC = bare back blow job to completion (in mouth) BBBJTCIM = bare back blow job to completion in mouth BBBJTCNQNS = bare back blow job to completion, no quit, no spit BBBJTCWS = bare back blow job to completion with swallow BBBJWF = bare back blow job with facial BBFS = bare back sex BBW = big beautiful woman BCD = behind closed doors BDSM = bondage, discipline, sado-masochism. BF = boy friend BFE = boy friend experience birdwatching = BBBJTCWS BLS = ball licking and sucking Blue Jay = blow job blue pill = Viagra BSB = bus stop babe butter face = everything looks good, but her face BTW = by the way cash and dash = ROB who takes your money and runs CBJ = covered blow job = BJ with condom CC Rider = full service provider costing $200 or less CD = cross dresser CDS = covered doggy style CFS = covered full service = Sex with condom CG = cowgirl = girl on top facing you CH = Crazy Horse, SF Strip Club CIM = cum in mouth CL = craigslist.org CMD = carpet matches drapes, typically a natural blonde CMT = Certified Massage Therapist. A professional masseuse. Cowgirl = CG = girl on top facing you cover = condom cruising = driving around, looking for streetwalkers cups of coffee = releases = orgasms DATO = dining at the o = analingus DATY = dining at the y = cunnilingus DDP = double digit penetration, kitty and anus Dodge = streetwalker stroll: Mission Blvd, between A St and 14th St, in Hayward, CA Doggie = man behind girl, girl on hands and knees donation = payment Doubles = A threesome with two girls and you DDE = doesn't do extras (PS only) DDG = drop dead gorgeous DFK = deep french kissing, open mouth with tongue DIY = do it yourself (masturbation) DP = double penetration, two guys on one girl DT = deep throat, entire length of penis taken in mouth ECR = el camino real EOM = end of message. No text in message body. escort = a temporary companion for hire facial = cumming on partner's face FBSM = full body sensual massage fire and ice = a blowjob switching between hot tea and ice FIV = finger in vagina FKK = Frei K?rper Kultur. German brothel / nudist club. FOB = fresh off the boat. Asian immigrant recently arrived in the US. FOV = finger outside vagina French = BJ French Kiss = Kissing with tongue insertion FS = full service = BJ + Sex Get Brain = blow job Get Comfortable = get completely naked GFE = girlfriend experience. Typically BBBJ, CFS, DFK, DATY, and MSOG GG = Golden Gypsy. defunct, famous Berkeley massage parlor GND = girl next door Greek = anal sex, back door GS = golden shower = urination play GSM = g-spot massage happy ending = A handjob (usually) or blowjob after your massage hardwood floors = clean shaven kitty Hat = condom HDH = high dollar hottie HJ = hand job = a manual / hand release HH = half hour HM = high mileage HME = honeymoon experience, lapdog heaven HWP = height and weight proportionate hooker = prostitute IMHO = in my humble opinion interpreter = condom Italian = penis rubbing between butt cheeks ISO = in search of kitty = vagina Lapdog = person who worships providers to excess. LDL = low dollar looker (opposite of HDH) LE = ellie = law enforcement LK = light kissing, closed mouth LOS = land of smiles = Thailand mamasan = female manager of a massage parlor MBOT = Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theatre, SF Strip Club MBR = multiple bell ringing = MSOG MILF = mom I'd like to f-ck Mish = missionary position, or the SF Mission District Missionary = man on top, girl on back mohawk = thin rectangular strip of pubic hair MP = massage parlor MP = multiple pops = multiple releases MSC = Market Street Cinema, SF Strip Club MSOG = multiple shots on goal = multiple releases NCT = New Century Theatre, SF Strip Club non-pro = not a professional provider NP = no problem NSA = no strings attached OWO = oral without condom OWOTC = oral without condom to completion papasan = male manager of a massage parlor party hat = condom PIV = penis in vagina PL = Pathetic Loser PO = phone operator (for making appointments) PS = private show (Dance) PSE = Porn Star Experience PV = private viewing (Dance) RA = relaxation assistant raincoat = condom RB = myredbook.com rimming = analingus RMP = Russian Massage Parlor ROB = Rip Off Bitch Reverse cowgirl = RCG = girl on top facing away Reverse massage = you massage her Roman shower = vomit play RPG = role playing games Russian = penis rubbing between breasts = Pearl Necklace = titty fuck SC = Strip Club self-service = you masturbate SF = San Francisco shill = an insider posing as a satisfied customer SO = significant other SOG = shot on goal = one release SOMF = sat on my face south of the border = gential region southern france = BBBJ SP = Service Provider SPA = streetwalker stroll: San Pablo Avenue in Oakland, CA spanish = ATM = ass to mouth spinner = very petite, thin girl STD = sexually transmitted disease stroll = path frequented by street walkers SW = street walker TAMP = Therapeutic Asian Massage Parlor teabag = man squats and dips balls in partner's mouth TG = transgender TGTBT = too good to be true Tina = crystal meth TJ = Tijuana TL = Tenderloin district, San Francisco. between Van Ness Ave, Post St, Taylor St, and Golden Gate Ave TLD = topless lap dance tossing salad = analingus Troll = rude and hideous PL Trolling = Posting thinly disguised ads in a discussion forum TOFTT = Take one for the team. In reference to a new, non-reviewed provider. TS = transexual TUMA = tongue up my ass TV = transvestite UTF = Untranslated French = BBBJ UTR = under the radar WTF = What the fuck? (I'm rather surprised by this) XOXO = Kisses & Hugs YMMV = Your mileage may vary. Your service level could be different than reported by others. Applies to everyone, some more so than others. 1/2 and 1/2 = half and half = oral sex + full service 411 = seeking information 420 = 4:20 = marijuana 69 = two people giving each other oral sex at the same time $ = $100 $$ = $200 $$$ = $300 $$$.5 = $350 (get it?) incall = You go to her place, or a place she designates. outcall = She comes to your place, home, hotel room. two call system = For incall locations. Your first call is to set up the time and get the general directions on where to park. Your second call is made when you arrive to get the specific address / room number.
  5. 55 points
    Considering the recent discussions here on CERB about fat/skinny body shaming, I wanted to share this amazing website that I came across today! "The Nu Project is a series of honest nudes of women from all over the world. The project began in 2005 and has stayed true to the original vision: no professional models, minimal makeup and no glamour. The focus of the project has been and continues to be the subjects and their personalities, spaces, insecurities and quirks." It is quite a remarkable collection of photographs of a wide variety of real women. It is a showcases and celebrates the beauty in ALL women's bodies, in their natural state. All unique and beautiful in their own way! :) www.thenuproject.com Enjoy!
  6. 53 points
    Just kidding! But I did recently have the great pleasure of meeting the lovely Nikki Thomas and of being interviewed on her show 'Sex, Brains and Money'. Hope you like it!
  7. 47 points
    Greetings fellow CERBians. I speak to you today, not as your president (we don't have one), not as the most popular member (that ship has sailed)... just as a guy who cares about this place. We have found ourselves over the past few days witnessing our own version of 9/11. We have endured and are enduring a crisis of the value of membership, the value of participation and the value of being who we are. Let's not quibble over the purpose of this site. It is an Escort Recommendation Board. That's what the big banner in the top left corner says. We all joined for one of two reasons. Either we are a consumer and as such wish to interact with providers, read recommendations and then book appointments with said provider(s) OR we are providers and as such wish to interact with our clients, provide consumer information about availability, prices and services, and ultimately book appointments to provide services to the consumer. Bare bones, that's what this site is all about. We have become a community as a result of the tireless efforts of the many. That community is in jeopardy as a result of the capricious efforts of the few. This is NOT an us against them, penis vs vagina, male vs female community. Some have tried to turn it into that. None of us should be using this community to exert POWER. It is not about politics, it is not about any kind of "ism." This community is at its absolute BEST when we treat each other as equals and enjoy playful banter without being stigmatized. I suggest that we have two camps that wish to fight a small battle regardless of the innocent casualties incurred. While I see the merits in both arguments, THIS IS NOT A BATTLEGROUND NOR IS IT A PLACE TO FORWARD YOUR OWN POLITICAL AGENDA. I still have hope that we can return to what we once were, that we can again become a lively community where no one will fear causing offence to others. My CERB will always be a welcoming place where people can have naughty fun; it is my hope that yours can and will be as well. OD 10/9/11 @1:34 pm
  8. 47 points
    This is a very common thing with the ladies... Always looking for the "Reason" the business gets slow at times and always looking for answers as to why they get no shows and cancellation more at different times of the year. Most NO SHOWS can be stopped by screening your calls properly. Use the Caller ID and CALL BACK the number to verify it. Most guys will not pull a NO SHOW on someone without having the decency to call and properly cancel if you have their number. They know that come appointment time one very upset SP is going to give them a call asking WTF! It's not 100% but it sure helps for those who screen calls. It also makes the call a little more safer as that phone number is now a connection between the guy and the lady... I doubt someone dangerous is going to want to leave a number that can be traced back to them. Most of the ladies look for reasons when things are slow. I guess most of us do that when the business we are in takes a drop in sales/traffic/work load/etc.... You can spend a good portion of your day trying to figure this one out but it's not really worth the effort. It's WAY easier to just plan for these lows (Put some money aside for the slow periods) and just accept that this is part of EVERY business and it will happen. Stop stressing out and trying to point a finger at what you think is causing the slowness as your just going to convince yourself of something that is probably not correct. We have been tracking patterns in this industry since 1996 and the answer for this is... (Drum roll please)... It has no pattern EXCEPT for a few obvious LOW spots. 1) The end of Aug is SLOW every year! (Kids out of school, getting ready to go back to school, family summer vacations, etc...) This is the most popular summer weekend in the tourist industry!! 2) 1 week before and 1 week after Xmass (No need to explain this one right?) New years day too? NOT... 3) January/February for 2 weeks every year (We sum this up to winter blues and getting your credit card statements from Xmass! but we never know what two weeks it will be but for sure 2 weeks around this time it does drop... one year we did not see this and come April we saw a real low drop for 2 weeks and that was obvious weather patterns (Long winter/early spring ... warm winter/cold spring etc...) it does effect this business and you never know when this is coming exactly... so just put some cash aside for these times. 4) First nice weekend of spring (A lot of the ladies take this time off too) 5) Thanksgiving, Easter, Valentines, long weekends, really large sporting events (etc)... they also effect the business. The rest has NO identifiable pattern. You can try to blame it on the economy as a low economy brings more people into this business causing more competition and the overall amount of "Recreational money" the guys have gets a lot smaller so yes the economy does effect it but a low economy BUT it also brings more guys (New guys) in to the mix as well so it's not hit as hard as one would assume. Remember money and sex are the two big things couples fight about... When the economy drops and the money gets tight the stress levels go up, the fighting between couples goes up and the sex stops!! FACT OF LIFE... and I hate to admit it but that is good for this business for all you ladies!! When economy starts to get good again business will decrease a little at first! It's OPPOSITE of what everyone ASSUMES! As for NO SHOWS... This time of year it will obviously be higher. Kids are still home from school, Family vacations, relatives coming for visits, back to school shopping, etc.. etc... and all those people taking time OFF work for family vacations makes other people have to work more (Overtime to cover shifts, higher work loads, etc) it's all relevant.... A lot of LAST MINUTE things come up this time of the year for the "Family Man" and well... kids and family (for most people) come first so recreational visits take a back seat so stuff will get canceled more this time of year. Picture this... The guy is all ready to come see the lady he has chosen and the door bell rings and it's his brother or uncle or who knows who just "DROPS BY" for a visit... URH!? Probably with his annoying kids and wife... (Many of us have been in similar situations) This happens EVERY YEAR... Come September 17th (Or around that time) once the kids are back in school and the routine is back... things will pick up. Summer sucks as a lot more things can get in the way or throw a guys schedule off. Don't spend all your time looking for reasons why the business slows down.... it happens to EVERY PROVIDER & EVERY BUSINESS ... It can not be busy 100% of the time and it does take a little planning and anticipation.
  9. 46 points
    Following Cleo's post earlier this month, i'm adding my voice as the other side of the equation (the client's side of course) on Nikki Thomas' show "Sex, Brains and Money". Enjoy!
  10. 43 points
    ...Crosses the line Over the span of my career, on more occasions than I would like, I have had to have a conversation with a client who wants to "be friends". I think it's important to explain to hobbyists what this actually means to us; why it is crossing a line and why this conversation is one we should never have to have with a client. There comes a point with a good working relationship where a client reaches a certain comfort level with his provider and for some reason it sometimes flips a switch within him. This is the phase of the relationship where there are genuine feelings shared and some clients misinterpret these emotions. He feels it's time to renegotiate the relationship and take it to the next level, to make it "real". Sometimes it's a romantic gesture and those clients are just very confused men and that is not the situation I want to discuss. The men I'm appealing to are the ones that feel that we should "be friends". I would like to present this situation from the providers point of view. This is a conversation we providers unanimously dread. We very well may have genuine care and true fondness for this client; we may look forward to seeing him and enjoy his company immensely. Without a doubt these emotions change the quality of the experience for both parties in the best of ways but what it doesn't change is that THIS IS WHAT WE DO FOR A LIVING! Asking us to be friends is an impossible ask and puts us in a difficult place. No matter how we answer, the dynamic is forever changed and not for the better. Many providers develop friendships with clients, myself included but it doesn't change the fact that our time is our livelyhood. It's how we provide for ourselves and our loved ones and asking us to alter the arrangement at hand will not end well for either party. If we accept, we have now lost a valued client that will need to be replaced to maintain our financial responsibilites. If we decline, we risk hurting this person that we care about and losing a valued client that will need to be replaced. Either way, the provider loses. I admit that I see my work a little differently than most providers and I do consider my favorite guests to be friends as well as lovers. These men understand that I care deeply for them, they don't need free social time to see and feel that. They understand that if they choose not to contribute to my financial well being it will result in one of two outcomes. 1. I will have to spend the time I work with another client to ensure my financial obligations. or 2. I will have to find alternative forms of income which means a 9-5 job to pay my bills. Either way, the "friend" moves to the bottom of my responsibilities list. I first have to pay my bills, second is to take care of my loved ones and then third is my social life, which I don't actually have. This is our livelyhood and last time I checked, the bank doesn't take friendship for mortgage payments and according to Revenue Canada, it doesn't matter how many friends I have, there is no break on my taxes. If a client stops paying then he no longer provides for me or my basic needs. I have a couple of clients that moved from guest to friend but they were taken off the dance card. By honoring their "ask" for a friendship, they reliquished me as a lover and now I seldom get to see them as I just don't have time for socializing. I accept my guests into my life with great care. I willingly allow my guests time with my body and my spirit in exchange for the financial security they provide me. It is delusional to think that if a guest withdraws the financial aspect of the relationship that I will have the time or the energy to continue a relationship with him. My guests don't pay me to be their friend, they pay me so that I have the freedom to spend time with them, NSA and at their convenience. The demand is high for a "genuine GFE" experience but when we provide it we run the risk of guests misinterpreting it. Please understand that often when providers are a little aloof or cold, they may be simply trying to protect the business relationship as a lawyer or doctor would. For those of us who try to be more open and willing, don't put us in a situation where we end up losing you as a client because you "don't pay people to be your friend"... cat
  11. 43 points
    Guys, I don't want to come off preachy or holier than thow but it seems lately a common concern that's been expressed to me from a number of Providers, is guys asking for deals or reduced rates, from a ladies posted rate. First off, it's not likely to endear her to your cause, because well it's pretty much an insult, in most cases I'm sure it's not meant as one, but think about it. You want to see a provider based on what you've seen and heard so clearly she appeals to you and you've gone to the trouble of checking out her website or profile and know what she's all about, but you want her to charge you less. How would you feel if your boss came up to you and said you're doing a great job, everyone around the office thinks you're great and we really appreciate the effort you put forward, but we can't pay you for tomorrow... would you mind coming in early though ? Pretty insulting, isn't it ? It's been said time and time again,this hobby is a choice and most certainly a luxury, if you want to see a lady who's beyond your normal price range that you can afford, then plan for it, save up, set a budget. If you really want to meet her and spend time with her, that's the best way to do it. We're actually pretty lucky here, there's a wide variety of providers who range in various affordable price ranges, while some may have a tributes higher than the norm there is usually a reason and they wouldn't be charging anything beyond what the market can bear. I'm not going to make the comparison to cars, wines or other luxury items, because it would be like comparing apples to oranges. The services these ladies provide are incomparable. If you do save up and see to a lady who is in a price range higher than you're used to paying, don't be shy to share with her in your correspondence that you've been saving up and looking forward to the encounter, that is more likely to endear her to you much more than asking for a discount and hey who knows, it might even earn you some brownie points ;) knowing that you saved up for the opportunity to meet.
  12. 41 points
    Welcome new members and visitors. This section is for Lyla newbies (New Users and people new to this industry). Here are some steps to get you started... 1) Please be sure to read the RULES and FAQ. We try to keep this as up to date as possible so answers to most of your initial questions should be found there. 2) When you sign up as a new user, your first 5 to 10 posts will be manually moderated by us. This stops spammers, abuse and any negative slander that we do not allow here. It can take up to 24 hours excluding weekends and holidays to approve your posts so please be patient with us! 3) Take some time to thoroughly read this section. We have included some great posts here from our members and made them sticky so they show at the top of this section. Feel free to jump into the conversations - that's what Lyla is all about! 4) This is a community and we are all working to make the community better. Your contributions and participation in the discussions should be positive and enjoyable. We do remove negative comments as this is NOT a review board or a place to air your dirty laundry. Please do not use Lyla to slander, call out, fight or flame anyone. SPREAD THE LOVE, THE WORLD NEEDS MORE OF IT! 5) Please no promotion of sexual services here. You can advertise escort services, but no explicit sexual acts. That includes abbreviations. 6) In the words of Thumper... "If you do not have anything nice to say... don't say anything at all". This is the Lyla policy and anyone who breaks this rule is given a suspension or banned from the site. No warnings. Thanks everyone and enjoy the forum! Lyla xx
  13. 41 points
    I searched for a thread on this topic and surprisingly couldn't find one, and it's definitely one that (sadly) needs to be addressed. Lately, I have been hearing some appalling things from ladies I speak to: and that is, some gentlemen have been sharing information about ladies location. I am just floored that someone would think this is information to share. Where a lady works from, whether it is an apartment/condo/house/hotel, is information that should always remain private. If you see a lady in an apartment/condo, and happen to have seen another lady in the same building: it's NOT your business to tell either of them that the other lady is in the same building as they are. If you see a lady in a hotel where you've seen others: it's not your business to tell her that 'so-and-so lady' also works from that hotel. If your buddy works close to a lady, and you want to recommend her: maybe say that she's works very close...but do NOT say 'Hey she works in the building right next to you!' Many women work out of their home. This is their private life. And even if they rent a separate work apartment, or work in a hotel, it is not up to you to disclose this information to anyone, ever. Telling other people puts her safety at stake. And could put her in compromising or embarrassing situations. The ONLY way you should know where a lady works from is when she tells you herself. Please, always remember what business we are in. Discretion is the ultimate key to happy, safe, encounters. There is never a need to share someone's personal information with others. Thank you.
  14. 40 points
    I had to remove a thread tonight and I am very upset that people are posting crap like this. Some idiot PM'd one of the members claiming that one of the local girls has aids. The member posted this along with other nonsense. Why he felt it was necessary to start a thread like this I will never know but I am done with people trying to slander other peoples reputations. If your too stupid to realize a PM or POST like this is just slanderous and made by either a jealous competitor, ex-boyfriend or drunken idiot trying to cause a problems then let me help you out by telling you first hand that you should just delete the PM and report the user name to me so we can get rid of the trolls! If you feel the need to accuse someone of such a thing publicly do it elsewhere as I don't care to slander anyone on this site and as long as I am moderator of this site I will NOT tolerate it from anyone else here! I will shut down the board before I allow that to happen so if you enjoy the site please respect this policy and rule.
  15. 39 points
    When writing a pm, email or texting, please do not send one liners! Many times, it come across as being rude. Ive been on the recieving end of this threw txting, hence the reason why I do not text anymore to make a 1st appointment! WE can not hear your tone of voice, so when you send something like this: "WHEN CAN I SEE YOU?" It just sounds rude. First off, INTRODUCE yourself! Say hello, how are you, I am Mr.XXX. The reason why you are emailing or pm'ing: I am interested in meeting with you on this date and time for this long. A little about yourself, if your comfortable saying anything, some ladies actually request that you do, some don't. Then sign off... Looking forward to hearing from you, Until we meet, or what ever. When you write an actual pm or email, we WILL respond! When I see something that is not like the above described, I dont even want to put in the effort to respond, since you did not take the effort to say more than 3 or 4 words to me! And I am sure I am not the only lady that feels like that! And most importantly!! Read her Ads, website and profile!! They are very imformative. Hence the reason why we put so much effort into them! The effort your going to put in by pm'ing "Whats your rates?", "What time do you start?", or the big question, "What do you look like?" will be alot less than clicking your mouse on the link to her website/profile! You just look very lazy and disrespectful! We are not asking you to write an autobiography about yourself or a novel! 5-6 lines is not asking for much! I know some men are men of very few words, but if you cant take a few minutes to learn about us and say more then a few words, then imagin how we think the encounter will go with you?! Starting an email/pm politely can and will get you a better or if any encounter with your choosen SP/MA! ****************** I've searched and could not find a thread about etiquette on pm'ing, but found this thread, which only shows you how to START a pm: http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=15861 If I missed it someone let me know and Ill ask the Mod to add this post to it! Thanks, Tiffany Amber xoxo
  16. 39 points
    In early September 2012, there was a point that I actually thought that post 5000 was never going to happen. In fact, I wasn't really sure that morning would happen, at least for me. Labour Day weekend is supposed to be eventful. It's when we say goodbye to summer and get ready for the colder months ahead. Pack away the summer stuff and bring out the long sleeves. Close down the cottage. Make plans for the air conditioner and the patio furniture. My labour day weekend began with a sense of draining. I had no energy. Walking was an effort. A shower required a nap after. Drying my hair took my breath away. I knew something was wrong, but my stubbornness said, "sleep it off, it's been a tough summer and you are just run down." It was more than that. I had a major heart attack. It was weird... no sudden chest grasping pain... just a sense of draining... like superman with kryptonite. That's when CERB stepped up. I mean it. CERB saved my life. Isabella Gia and Barrhaven Woody came over and took me to the hospital. They waited with me in the waiting room and stayed there until they knew I was being cared for. But it didn't stop there. I was in hospital for a week. Woody came to visit. Isabella came to visit and then came again with home cooked food. Cat and one of her kittens came to see me daily. Bethany, Phaedrus, Luxe and Alger all came bearing cups of coffee, muffins and most importantly, love. Alger left work early to come and pick me up at the hospital to take me home. When I got there, Boomer and Mister T had made food and left it in my fridge. Angela had gone to get my prescriptions. There were messages from Annessa, Nicolette, Gabriella, Samantha, EMB, Meg, Sara, Malika and Dorinda... and a very special message from Amelia ;) I was in tears. You have no idea how much I love my CERB people. It's more than that though. My CERB people are not just relegated to a small hidden part of my life. They are central. I am actually tearing up writing this... but they are happy tears... I have had so many visitors and so many messages It's hard to mention everyone... dammit. There are so many people that have made a difference and still make a difference in my life. You all make a difference whether you think so or not. So to everyone I have mentioned above and these few more, I give my thanks, my love and my friendship. Areez, Wendigo, Jazzitup, The General, AreJayEll, Lee Richards, Andy of Halifax, Toine, Spud, Notch, RG, Melly, Touch, RoyalFun, Scott, Steve, Silverado, Lone Skater, Mr Nice ... great guys. The best. Passion Vitto, Julie Wilde, Georgiana, Nathalie, Sami, Nikki Thomas, Emily, Emma, Cindy, Peachy, Soleil, Penelope, Katherine, Sophia, Alyssa, Cleo, Jasmine J, Jazy, Kimmy, Evelyne, Kianna, Chantal, Claire, Berlin, Alexxandria, Shortcake, GeGe, Alanna, Kerri, Ava ... damn... there are so many.... but you ladies in particular fill my life with joy every day. I wish I could write the name of every person that has made this time less difficult.... but threads have a finite amount of space... and I am getting sleepy. If I missed a name it wasn't out of spite... it's because I am old. Anyhow... this thread is for you. You have made my life worth living in these past few months and years... you make me smile, you make me laugh and you make me want to share a bit of myself with all of you. And I am going to say it, unabashedly, unashamed and without any hesitation. I love all of you.
  17. 39 points
    I've debated starting this thread for months. Firstly when I left cerb last September, and more recently when I rejoined. I've heard some very, very outlandish rumours about why I left cerb, and retired from escorting last September. Which is why I chose to put this thread in the 'escort discussion' area. I've heard these rumours from people who heard them from people I've never met. And people who definitely should not be sharing my personal information. Especially personal information that isn't even true. So, I've finally decided to make it public. Here's the big reason I retired from escorting last year: I lost a friend. And two months later I lost another. And a few months after that, I lost another. Escorting is a business that requires a very, very large part of your emotions to be there. Massage does as well, but not to the same level. And I haven't been able to provide the connection escorting has required for quite a few months now. I did not retire because I was robbed. I was NOT robbed by a client or anyone to do with the business. I did get robbed, and shared that information with some SPs in private, and it is very sad that this information was not kept in private because it had nothing to do with work. I did not retire because my business was lacking, or because I couldn't afford a work apartment. I left because I wanted, when I went home at the end of the day, to be able to focus on my friends, and my life. Nothing scandalous. And it makes me very sad that I've continued to hear gossip and rumours about me and my life in the months since I made the change. We all share parts of ourselves with each other on a daily basis, both on this site, and in the work that we do. But here's a note to people to think that they have the right to pry, and butt in to the personal business of people who just want to be left alone: it hurts, it creates lies, and you're not helping anyone. I've grown tired of people telling me why they heard I've left, and I'm saddened that people think my life is something to be gossiped about. We all can get very personal in our discussions on this site, and in our sessions: but here's a tip that should be taken to heart by everyone: if it was told to you in private, that makes it private. Don't spread rumours about people, and don't break confidences. You're better than that. Everyone is. I am not posting this for anyone to offer condolences on the loss of my friends. I'm not posting this for people to offer sympathy or anger in any way, or to post stories about rumours they've heard. I simply decided that, after so many months of STILL being asked why I left, and still hearing rumours about my reasons, that I would share this. That's all. Thanks.
  18. 38 points
    Some may think my statement harsh but if you know you are dealing with a 16 yr old you deserve prosecution, thats a child. In my opinion 18 is to young, but thats just me. I know in Canada you are considered an adult at 18 but that is still a teenager, so is 19 . It is alot to expect teens to deal with adults in their 30's,40's, 50's and beyond. Although I realize everyone matures differently I can only think back when I was a teen and I know I wasn't an exception to how immature and unprepared they can be.
  19. 37 points
    1. Whats your "real" name? 2. How many men have you been with today? 3. So, have you been busy? 4. Is your real hair color/breast size/nails/tan real? 5. How did you get into the business? 6. Do you have a boyfriend/SO/partner? 7. Why don't you go Indie? 8. Can I stand you on your head while you give me a bj? 9. Why do you have to put the condom on now? 10. Can I have a tour of your place? 11. Who is that in the picture? 12. Are the sheets clean? 13. Did you shower? 14. Tell me the difference between the 1hr and 2hr option besides time, I might want to readjust our session. 15. Is that what you are wearing? 16. I thought you would be _________ (taller, shorter, skinnier, fatter, younger, older) 17. I brought rolled change for part of my donation, is that a problem? (paid $250 in rolled pennies and dimes) 18. Do you own this place? 19. You should take yoga. 20. Have you ever considered having your breasts done? 21. Do you have a bong? 22. Can you drive me home afterwards? 23. I have a friend in the car, is it ok if he waits in your livingroom? 24. How many children do you have? 25. Do you REALLY enjoy it or are you an awesome actress? 26. Can we "just hang out" cause I think we have a real connection. 27. What are the perks if I become a good regular? 28. Can I leave my shoes and socks on for the whole visit? 29. Whats the weirdest request you've ever had? 30. Has anyone ever hurt you during an appointment? 31. Does your family know what you do? And my all time favorite! 32. Your such a smart woman, why don't you get a real job? These are all questions I have been asked personally and they range from mildly annoying to WTF is he thinking! cat
  20. 36 points
    Like literally two hours ago, and it was great! As of this morning, I was a 26 year old virgin. I never felt ashamed or unaccomplished being a virgin, I had reached this point as a choice. But I was not confident with intimacy, most if not all girls I've met have been pretty sexual or have a sexual past which always intimidated me (I never saw them lower, but felt a bit in awe). I avoided relationships because I was worried about the physical intimacy part, I was going to fall flat on my face. And I created this mind block. I noticed a few threads on this forum about guys who are virgins looking for an SP, but there was no mention if they went through with it, and if they did, how they felt about it. So I thought I'd share for anyone who are in the same shoes I once was. In a nutshell, I loved the experience, and I have no regrets. I got in touch with Peachy a week ago, and explained that I was a virgin, and that was something I wanted to change. She was incredibly thoughtful, and put me at ease with asking her to take me to the other side so to speak. I was nervous, actually, I was anxious for her to come. I booked 3 hours, and I asked her to stay an hour longer once she was here (I was having a great time and didn't want to rush it). So my reasons for doing what I did. 1) I'm more confident with safety when it comes to the women here then the general public. If anyone knows about safety, these ladies do. This was my number one priority always (even before I came up with this idea) 2) I wanted a positive non-judgemental environment (at least in my mind). I didn't want to think and over think everything I did, and with her, I was more then comfortable. I was able to explore, try out stuff that I wouldn't have done with maybe a girl I was dating. 3) I was confident in asking her how I could be better. And I took everything she said constructively, and it was a lot better then I imagined! 4) Confidence! I met this girl a couple of months ago that seemed to be very interested. Back then, the old me kept things between us friendly but non-sexual. I think given the situation now, I'd act much differently. My confidence in this department took a massive beating the last couple of years for reasons too long and boring to share here. I feel as if one evening took all of that self doubt away. Downsides? I don't feel as if there were any. I don't feel any regret, or remorse or anything of that sort. I was hoping when I asked Peachy was that she be someone awesome (I've read some stories here about people having soso dates). Peachy was AMAZING in that she was so understanding about my fears, and newness. I bring this up because I found her through going through pages and pages of reviews. There are some awesome women here, but I found one with very complimentary reviews, and it worked for me. Which I guess leads on to my next part. Would I recommend a virgin meet an SP? To each their own. I wrote down a list of reasons why this would be a good idea vs a list of why this was bad. My bad side of the list had some religious objections, but then the good side had religious support for getting help any way possible (my confidence was shot). There are some that say that this experience should be with someone special. And I think that applies for some people for sure, but I treated this as a learning/therapeutic visit more then anything else. The rate I was going, I was not going to be able to meet that someone special ever. Recommendations: 1) Take your time, read reviews, talk to who you are interested in 2) Take your time, don't book just 1 hour. For the first two hours, we took it slow, talked a lot, and made it more intimate. 3) Figure out your reasons. I was brand new at this, and I think if this is your first time, trying to go into this to fulfil a fantasy might be putting too much pressure on you and her. Just explore the sensation, explore your body (I discovered things about my body I was pleasantly surprised about). 4) Tell her you're a virgin! And that's when you first get in touch with her, not when you meet. I can't think of anything else. This being a recommendation board, this is mine :)
  21. 36 points
    Reaching this milestone, and have thought it through and through for quite sometime now, this post will be my last in the general discussion area,recommendation area and other areas as well. I will keep my profile active, and continue to chat through pm's or profile pages, by saying hello to those good friends, and of course checking out the ladies schedules and announcements and social groups. ;) I'm sorry but I just don't have anything more to say or add into the those sections of the board. My reasoning for staying out of posting here,is that the content on the board has lost some of it's "reality" in why we we all chose to become a member here on CERB. That being a community of people striving to have the same result, good fun,sex of course,how to stay and play safe and play along nicely with each other. The latter certainly has not been happened enough lately in my view, I had read MOD's note to those Elite Members and Sp members in that section.I hope that it is okay to quote MOD here in the general area where some other members can see what was said...I think it is important to all general members as well. The site is suppose to be... 1) a positive side of the industry 2) A fun place 3) A community 4) A place to get friendly advise 5) A place where the ladies can come and not worry about being slandered 6) A place for the "Good clients" to feel at home When I first started here, the wealth of information provided by members was such a huge importance for men and ladies to ensure quality time together and it was always very positive back then and great fun... but not so much lately. Those members that have provided that information of safety/quality time/advise/ health issues etc etc are and can be the key to continued success of this board. So stay positive folks. It has been a fun place, until recent past months,that is my own personal view on the matter Just far too much hostility lately, and I rather not participate in those discussions, and yes I have been guilty myself of doing so, but realizing it is only counterproductive. However I would like to say, I really have not found it lately a place for "good clients" to feel at home at least that is my feeling. I always consider myself a good client with ladies I have met and I of course look forward in meeting new ladies as well in the future. We all see the hostile quotes left in the rep points handed out, we all see the hostile thread comments and even lately comments left on other profile pages. We all have our own interpretation, but that is what happens when you have a diverse community, I guess. I'm sure some will be happy that I will be staying away from posting, and I think some others may not (48 threads started of rec's...lol.. I did give back to community in a way :) ). So thank-you all, it is not good bye, just tuning out, may you all enjoy the Holiday Season, and have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
  22. 35 points
    24. Humanity This is going to be a mushy one and to that end, it will stand alone. You may have noticed that I use the phrase "I love you" when I speak to many of the providers on the board. This is not casual nor is it capricious; it is heartfelt and honest. When you enter the hobby, you enter with the thought of fulfilling some carnal desires, pleasures of the flesh. As you begin to progress through there are natural bonds that are created. You enjoy the company of the women that you see because they are not just a vessel for your sexual voyage; they are warm, caring and magnificent human beings. I want you to pay particular attention to those last three words. True, this is a service industry and the services provided are fantastic - but you do connect with a person - a magnificent human being that has offered a part of herself to you in a mutually gratifying situation. I am a truly fortunate man. I have built bonds with providers and members here that have surpassed my wildest expectations. I don't go a single day without speaking to at least one person on this board to whom I have said, "I love you." These women may just be an hour or two of fancy to you, but to me they are the most beautiful people in my life... in fact, I might not be here writing this without them. Indulge me, if you will. On Labour Day weekend, 2012, I came home from work on the Friday evening and I wasn't feeling well. By Saturday morning I recognized that I was having a heart issue but having had issues in the past, I put it down to stress and a touch of angina. By Monday I wasn't any better. On Tuesday, a CERB member and a CERB provider came to my house and demanded that I go to emergency; they took me. I was admitted and indeed the stress and angina were a bit more serious than I had imagined. I had, in the preceding 3 days, a level 3 cardiac infarction. In layman's terms - I had a major heart attack. Over the next week in hospital, I had daily visits from a number of providers and members who genuinely care about me. A CERB member left work early to come pick me up on the day of my discharge from hospital. At home, these same members and providers had filled my fridge, filled my prescriptions and helped lift my spirits during my period of recovery. They knew I was not in any financial shape to compensate them in monetary fashion; they did it because they are magnificent human beings. I won't give you the names of these people. I wish I could, but that would be a bit of a disservice. They didn't do it for accolades or compensation, they did it because they cared for me... they love me and they know that I love them. CERB is the ideal venue in that regard. The no-negativity foundation may be frustrating at times - but I will say this: You have no idea of how beautiful the members and providers here are. The physical beauty is a given - the beauty of the person behind that veneer is the hidden treasure on this board. I am not ashamed to state publicly my love for my friends here. I will defend them with every fibre of my fabric. They are providers only by occupation but first and foremost, they are some of the most magnificent human beings that I have ever encountered. If I can only make one visceral statement here, one that comes from my gut... I ask, no... I demand that you treat my loved ones as you would treat your own. I will be back... there is so much more to add!
  23. 35 points
    7. I am cleaning. Can we have BBFS sex? Dear M. Delirious, As a fertile woman, still in her sexual prime, I would be delighted to collect, ahead of time, 18 years of child support, and of course, a generous college and university trust fund for our child. Also, please consider the following as part of our contract: marriage, full salary from you when I am on maternity leave, upscale housing and 25 years of above average spousal support for a stay at home mom who enjoys the finer things in life, plus my regular hourly compensation for every time you would like to be intimate with me. If you would like to discuss our future, long-term arrangement, please contact my lawyer for an appointment. If the above is not a suitable option for you, perhaps the following will be: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condom Still not interested? Learn about what your potential new friends can bring to your life! AIDS: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HIV/AIDS STDs: http://www.cdc.gov/std/ And here is where you can play Russian Roulette: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=list+of+casinos+in+canada Most sincere and warmest regards, Gabriella xox ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The short answer to the question is... are you fxxxing crazy?!! ;) Happy hobbying!
  24. 35 points
    I have not been on very much of late and it seems as if there have been intermittent server issues. The intermittent things are the most difficult to find and fix! I have never written this before but have said it to a number of people. This site is pretty amazing and is very sophisticated in the way that it functions. It is user friendly, easy to navigate, and thanks to Mod is responsive to suggestions from our community of members. To the Mod, a good luck with the server issues and a huge thanks for the work that you do on our behalf, clients and SP's alike.
  25. 35 points
    Democracy is rife with "what ifs". Who moderates who? Who is to be trusted to be impartial and unbiased? This is an online, virtual, anonymous community. I would not want to be in charge of finding anyone perfect enough to meet the requirements of monitoring this board, as there is not one participant that doesn't have biases and self interest at hand, while still pleasing the masses that seem to demand their perception of perfection instead of practical application. Given the pettiness, immaturity and nonsense I have seen on the board lately, I would gladly choose to have MOD continue as always and permanently ban the whiners, complainers and shit disturbers. The manipulation and games would push anyone over the fragile edge. I know many "valued" participants would be gone but it would give CERB a fresh start and I for one would be glad to see them go. MOD is constantly taken for granted by both hobbiest and SP alike. Has anyone ever thought of what would happen if CERB were shut down? I mean literally, off the air. Having this board is a privilege not a right. It costs nothing to participate and we all gain from it, but it costs $$$, time, heart and soul to run it. This whole "democracy" issue should have never happened. Who has the right to question and complain about MODs decisions to begin with? It's his board, which means his game, his rules!!! He has the right to make decisions without backlash or complaint from anyone in any form. If you don't like his decisions, LEAVE. There are other boards out there for you to participate on. Don't like those, start your own board. To all of those who have pushed MOD to this, those who complained and pitched hissy fits, give your head a shake, grow up and get a life. You have brought this on CERB. It would serve all those involved if MOD decided to simply close up shop and move on to something that doesn't require hyperbaric sensory deprivation treatments to maintain his sanity. You know who you are. All of you who chose to PM him, giving him a hard time about bans and suspensions. All of you who question his decisions. All of you who take petty squabbles to him instead of being an adult and taking the high road. All of you who feel it's more important to be right than it is to be happy. Life doesn't always work out the way you want it to. Accept it and move on. For those who have been banned, take responsibility for your part in it and....move on. Perhaps if some apologies and self policing were implemented, this would all go away. Use a little common sense and empathy from now on and maybe all of this can be resolved without complicating life any more than it already is. cat
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