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Thanks for the background MOD. The problem is that John Q Public has no idea of the story behind the term and therefore the word conjures up a considerable stigma. You use the word John and people think of dirty, lecherous predator types skulking for women. It's not as insulting as people thinking that SPs are disease ridden, drug addicts selling themselves to feed their various habits when CERB members can tell you that many are classy, dignified women. Could the author not have used terms like "patron", "client" or gentlemen?" The article was apparently suppossed to shed a postive light on CERB's contributions, so using words like John and Hooker, with negative connatations, were contrary to the article's purpose. I've been called far worse, but not by people who are suppossed to be educated.

Suffice to say this thread raises awareness around this 'issue'. If you've been burned, I guess the best lesson is learn from one's mistakes. That said, if you have an emotional connection with someone (which does happen), it makes it that much more difficult to turn one's back on someone in a legitimate or innovative time of need. So is there a right or wrong way to deal with this type of situation? I believe the answer is up to the individual involved.

I often wonder if it will happen the way it did with skydiving for me. One minute, we were living it like there was no other way to live, and then one morning we just couldn't be bothered to get up and go to the drop zone. Whatever happens, I'm just going to take it as it happens. I couldn't imagine life after skydiving, and yet, it seem extraordinarily sweet to me (as much as I enjoyed jumping). I'm sure that when my time comes to throw in the towel, it will be the same. I just don't want to drag it out past my expiration date. I've lived my life since I was maybe 25 thinking that any minute I was going to be past my "best before" date, and yet, I must say that I've had my sweetest experiences in recent years. I keep thinking to myself "if I'd only known then what I know now!" One thing that has really struck me lately is the smiles. Maybe I was just too preoccupied to notice them before, but in even just the last year, I can't help but notice some of the expressions of uninhibited joy on the faces of my partners. Probably they were there all along, but for whatever reason, it took me all these years to see it. One thing I will note is really important as we grow older is to be ourselves -- and represent ourselves fairly. No SP is for everybody, but the younger or older you are, the narrower your right fit is. I think, as we get older, it's more important than ever to see the right guys for us, and filter out those who aren't right. This entails being honest, it's true. But it also entails reading the customer and determining if he's making the best decision for himself, as well. For example, guys who are younger than my preference will often insist that they prefer older women -- but may not realize that if I don't prefer guys in their age range, it's not going to be the best session. Yes, I can go and take their money once -- but it won't result in my best work and likely not in their satisfaction. Best passed over. I was with a "friend" a month or so ago, when it was quite cold, and there I was, 52 years old, riding cowboy, butt naked except for a pair of woolen crew socks. If you had told me, when I was 19 years old, that that day would come, I would have laughed in your face. But then too, things are so much different today than we ever expected them to be 30-40 years ago. I was chatting with my daughter on AIM the other day, and wrote something to the effect of "if our buzzes could be posted to Twitter the way our tweets are posted to buzz, it might be more practical..." Man! If you'd have told me back in 1974 that I would have ever uttered something like that without the benefit of hallucinogenic drugs, again, I'd have laughed out loud. It's a different world. Who knows where we'll go from here. (... and yes... I have been drinking. Why do you ask? ;) )