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Just a word of thanks to the sp's, MA's, and dancers I've met through cerb this year, who have brought so much pleasure and beauty into my life. I want you all to know how much you are appreciated. To my friends on cerb, thanks for the camaraderie, communications, and exchanges on our favorite subjects. It's been fun, and will continue to be, I'm sure. To mod for steering us clear of the shoals. And a special thank you for the honour you bestowed on me in selecting me as valued member this year. Much to be grateful for. Happy Thanksgiving, all!

I recently saw Sabrina from CL based on the recommendations of the members here, so I thought I would go give her friend Cynthia a try too since the experience was so good. Usually you go in to the session expecting the girl to look half as hot as the picture (especially when it comes to CL), but this was not the case here! She has a smokin hot body and an infectious smile. She is very pretty and has that friendly girl next door look (with a killer body). It was definitely a pleasant surprise as she actually looks a lot better that her pics on CL, which are already pretty good. I won't get into details but she is open minded and the rates were very reasonable. Her and Sabrina are two very sexy young girls, so check them out while you can!

in ghosts? I know this sounds crazy but i keep hearing banging inside my hallway closet....when i am alone there is banging behind the door like someone is hitting it or something...... after it happened i checked the closet and nothing had moved or fell.....i took everything out just to see and the noise keeps happening..... I went up to the apartment above to ask them to stop banging and no one answered. I asked my landlord to talk to them she said there is no one above or below me right now:shock: I cannot find a logical explanation it sounds like someone hits the door from inside. I was ignoring it at first but i keeps happening, maybe 3 or 4 times a week. Does anyone have any experiences with anything? It might be time to move if i cant figure this out.....

Tyler's suicide is a genuine tragedy. The only thing I can think of that was worse for this poor young man was the isolation, loneliness and utter despair he must have felt prior that the idea of killing himself seemed like the only recourse. I do not believe in the death penalty, but if the two "men" repsonsible for the online video were to disappear tomorrow, I wouldn't lose any sleep. But this issue is much deeper than that. Bullying existed long before the internet, the internet simply made it eassier (and more noticeable). Bullying is arguablly as old as Humanity itself and it will never go away (among women as much as men). I was the little guy at school and attracted bullies like a magnet, and the thing was, when I learned to and started fighting back, things actually got a little worse for a while. And the best resolution to that problem of my life was to leave my home town as far behind me as possible. Then I discovered new breeds of bully. There were still plenty who wanted to push you around with their fists, but those were the easy ones to deal with. The co-workers who stabbed you in the back, the politicians who blatantly lied to you to buy your vote, the list never ends. But the true tragedy for Tyler, for all of us, is the stigma that drove him to this. When I was a kid, being called gay was just about the worst thing a guy could be called. To some it was a reason to start a fist fight. In too many people's eyes, being gay (or different for that matter) makes you less. And it's that attitude that is ultimately responsible not just for poor Tyler, but for so many other young men and women taking their own lives (gay or not). We can never kill bullying, just like we can never solve dishonesty or banish corruption, but we can help those who are victimized by it to take a stand. When you see someone getting pushed around for no good reason, convnce them to stand up for themselves. And then stand with them when they do. Don't let ignorance and prejudice pas when it victimizes and individual. Bullies respect nothing, but they understand fear. When they're chosen prey makes a stand, and has others standing with them, they may just be afraid enough to reconsider. It is the only language they speak and perhaps the only way we can manage this problem is by helping others become fluent in it. In the ned, we can only hope that Tyler has a measure of peace and his (and many others) tragedy will help convince everyone else to lend a hand here and there.

Tis the season for strange noises. The air is drying out and wood shrinks the temp is dropping and metal contracts heating systems are coming on ... As any guy can tell ya cold temps and shrinkage can cause all kinds of unpleasantness ;)

I suppose if I worked under the thumb of pimp for years, I might feel the same way as them. But that is just one aspect of this business. There is a myth that women cannot be empowered and be sex workers. I chose to be a sex worker and no one tells me how to work, when to work or who to see or how much to charge and I don't have to give my money to a pimp. Forced labour is not limited to the sex trade. There are other industries where people who have ended up in lower power positions are forced to work long hours for low pay and little appreciation and even abuse. Some of them are trafficked, some are not. So it's a problem that does not begin and end with the sex trade. But it is a real problem that still needs to be addressed, but not at the expense of others who are doing this type of work by choice and are comfortable with doing so.

At issue here are two different situations. The broadcast or streaming of the webcam content without the consent of the participants. This is wrong on so many levels the parents of the students accused should ask for the tuition money back, their kids are just plain stupid! The bigger issue here is the persecution and outing of Tyler and forcing him to choose what he thought was the only way to deal with this situaiton. A terrible end to a young and what could have been a promising life. The pair responsible for the promotion and organization of the web streams are ultimately responsible for the death of this young man. Had they not chosen to be so selfish,vindictive and cruel Tyler would still be with us today. I cannot tolerate the actions of those who choose to knowingly manipulate and take advantage of others for their own gain, be it financial, emotional or otherwise.

thanks cat. this post has lifted my spirits a little more. the site has grown so large that I really can't do it on my own and I have been pushing myself this last year to a breaking point. people are constantly complaining and everyone seams to feel they need to tell me how to do things. most people do not consider that they are just one person demanding my time with frivolous complaints, whining and my favorite... redundant bitching (when they just repeat themselves over and over than get pissed off when I tell them where to go or remove them) with the site growing so large we have 10 times more spammers (you rarely see these as I remove them before you ever see them... only a few get by recentlybecause some exploit exists that has not been patched yet that allows the spammers to circumvent the moderation queue) .. I would estimate 300+ spam posts are removed each month. title infractions.... we don't want the site to lookk like cl with all the crazy post titles trying to out do the next one and gain the most attention... so i have very specific rules to stop this and i use to take the time to pm each person and tell them what they did wrong... i found that even when i took the time people would ignore the pm and continue to break the rules so now i just delete the post and give them a infraction with a link to the rules.. I get people every day wasting my time asking me to elaborate on what they did wrong... did they read the link with the rules??? NO... They are just wasting my time. about 300 posts a month break this rule and more than 1/2 of them break the rule over and over again. This is disrespectful and these people do not deserve to use the site so I just keep deleting the ad posts and eventually just remove them. if they are literate enough to post an ad they can dam well read the rules or they are not welcome here. when I suspend someone (especially a SP or a male member with 50+ posts) i get people PM me (who only hear one side of the story) demanding I let them back or telling me I was wrong or calling me a dictator. These people run to the other sites and tell everyone how horrible I am (and really that did not bother me in the past but now its getting a little annoying).. FINALLY... we have those idiots who post shit like "I am affraid to post on cerb because I will get in trouble" or "I know the rule is... hopefully the mod does not remove me" or the really big idiots who want to fight with me on the site and don't think I have the balls to kick them off!! Yes, it wears on me!! Yes, I am done with it and yes I would not wish this job on anyone. Cat probably meant to post this in the PRIVATE area away from public view but we can let everyone know. I am done and I am working on a way to keep the site moving forward. We are looking for a way to have the community help moderate the site (Myself, the SP's who have SP ONLY access and the ELITE members have a private discussion thread where we are trying to come up with a solution that will keep the site moving forward and keep the integrity of the site alive. I have confidence in our members (Most of them) and I think a few should be removed who are trouble makers but I will leave that up to the people who will take my place as the decision makers. This is not open for public debate but if you are an elite member or a SP ONLY member you are welcome to comment in the private area and have your say. We would love to hear any idea's. If you are not able to see that area please DO NOT pm me. My PM is very busy and full with all this. I am willing to help the transition go forward smoothly (I am not walking away tomorrow or anything) I will continue forward and make sure the site is in good hands before I move on. I will probably always be part of the site in some sort of way (System admin, Server Admin, Software upgrades, etc... after all I am a computer guy and not a politian).

What a topic. I have to say I must disagree with some or at least provide a different opinion. There obvious dilemma of confusing lust for love. Although it may seem easy to determine the difference between the two I propose it is very difficult when you are right in the middle of it. r100rs asked if he fell in love? I think you did. It's okay....obviously painful....but the fact that you fell in love with your SP doesn't de-value the reality of your feelings. Are you in love with her? Probably.. Are you in love with her, her soul, everything about her and who she really is? Hard to tell only you will know that. Some described the chemical bonds that are associated with the time spent and being intimate with someone. The chemical reactions formed with the prolonged exposure to someone you connect with, share moments, being erotic and enjoying each other's company. The chemical reactions that are created and that your body longs for and eventually needs. Perhaps it is just chemistry but I think these are the side effects for falling for someone. Love can have many spectrums, many intensities, many chemical levels. It could be that simple actually. I mentioned confusing lust and love earlier.. but loving someone and being in love can also be confusing... I guess my point is that.. yes you can fall in love here... both sides can.. how you deal with it.. well each person has their own way I guess.. Can it be painful? certainly.. but then again life is full of pain and happiness.. We are human after all but I guess some days it could be easier to be trees! r100rs... I hope heart is feeling better ! hnh ps If I have confused you by reading this well ..... it is a text about love you know.. :)

Labels of SP and client limit and define us, we are all human. Can we fall in love? Of course we can. Asking "will it work" is a question that has no answer. What I define as a successful relationship is different from other peoples idea of successful. Accurately define "falling in love" first. It is a phrase that is thrown around and we all assume it means the same thing to all but it doesn't. Is it the physical rush that hits us when we know we are going to get see someone? Is it the constant thoughts of someone that the mind insists on thinking? Is it the impulse that manifests as a physical need to see someone and be in their presence? Is it the chemical reaction that takes place in our bodies that is addictive in its highs and its lows? These are all recognized as initial symptoms of "being in love" but I question if it is indeed love. Society's definition of love is a label of misunderstanding. The concept of love we commonly accept is a two sided blade, the positive emotion we feel towards someone can turn to hatred, possessiveness, envy, resentment and a myriad of negative emotions. Love is a state of being, not a simple human emotion that has duality. Love as a state of being has no negative, it is beyond the human minds manipulation. Do I love my guests, yes I do, each and every one of them. I have several incredible long-term relationships with people who are "clients". Do my relationships fit in the box society trys to impose for love? No they don't. Would I change it? No I wouldn't. Cat

I have to agree with Cat in all that she said. Adding one thing...if you don't let yourself fall in love with anyone then how would you know what beauty love is. If you never know pain how will you know joy? Tears and fears are things to learn and grow from...let yourself feel whatever it is that needs to be felt. I have fallen for clients as well...one we were almost engaged....but in the end i chickened out....i just wasn't ready ...do i regret it? nope...are he and i still friends? yup....but if i didn't let myself feel love or loved then i would be a very unhappy person now. I love my clients too and love how i can make them feel and how they make me feel. This business is so much more then sex.....its being a friend as well.. kisses, Emma A

In grief counselling this called "replacing the loss" and isn't a viable answer. You have to allow yourself the time process the emotions so that you can participate in a new relationship fully. It is a common practice that takes place and usually leads to people getting involved without being able to give fully of themselves. Take the time to grieve and complete the intitial loss and the next relationship will have a chance... Catherine

I love the responses to this thread! The fact that there has been so much caring and thought put into the replies, shows the tenderness at hand. Many of you realize that I don?t really fit into the SP box that most think of when one pictures the role of the SP in someone?s life, so I have a bit of a different take on the emotional aspects in this realm. This post is long, and on the reread I can?t find anything to delete, so accept my apology in advance for the length of this conscious stream of thought that follows. That said, what I say here may or may not apply to any and all. Playing devil?s advocate, I would like to ask, what is wrong with a broken heart? In our society we shun the things that have been labeled painful or hurtful. What is missed is that true emotional growth only comes from the challenges that we call pain. Loving, in my opinion, is always a good thing, even when I know it is going to end. Emotionally, as a society we are closed off most of the time. We shield our personal lives from our work, and vice versa. We keep our friends at arm?s length and build walls to ensure that we don?t have to deal with anything ?painful?. The answer is that we are programmed from childhood that anything negative is to be avoided at all costs. Children are soothed in a hurry when something normal and natural happens, instead of being allowed to experience the emotions and learn to process them. They become adults and spend their lives avoiding anything painful instead of experiencing life as it was meant to be lived. I love to watch the reactions when someone cries in public. Adults squirm in their seats and try and vacate as quickly as possible. Why? There is no reason to shift in our seats unless we intentionally caused the tears, and even then, unless it was a malicious intention why the discomfort? We all experience the broad range of emotions we are designed to feel. Without the hurt, how would we know what made us feel good? If it doesn?t rain, how do we truly learn to appreciate the sunshine? Why are we so afraid to love? I thrive on loving; it?s why I do what I do. I love the guests I have the honor of getting to know. Not the ?you need to leave your wife? kind of love, but the kind that is there unconditionally. Liking the qualities of someone, but loving the faults and watching as someone realizes how truly lovable they are, is my favorite aspect of what I do. I am usually the rebound girl, my guests come to me when the realization hits that life goes on after a D has hit, (death, divorce, desertion) and they are feeling lost and out of touch. Hobbyists make up a small portion of my day, the rest is filled with men who are moving forward and figuring out what?s next. They are the monogamous souls that really want a long term relationship but are not ready. They come to me to reassure themselves they can lie with another woman other than the one that is gone. What they learn is that the world continues to turn and they are going to be fine. I am not a traditional SP, I sometimes develop very intimate relationships with my guests. I give as much as they do. I never utter the words, because I know the effect words like that have, but it doesn?t change the emotions that are felt, and I have heard the precious words more often than I can count. Would I change it? Not a chance! It is needed to allow them to realize that they can still love. People confuse the chemical reaction of falling in love with real love and we are all susceptible. In my career I have two guests that I fell in love with. Both are still close friends that I maintain contact with almost daily. Fortunately common sense prevailed as we realized that the chemicals had taken over and were governing us. Were there tears? Of course! But we rode them out and the relationships morphed into something much deeper and dearer than the heart pounding, mind boggling sense that comes with the ?in love? mantra. I have had numerous marriage proposals, ring and financial statement in hand. They were the White Knights who were looking to save me from ?this life?, when I did not need saving. The other guests, I watch with wonder as they gain confidence and start to move towards finding what makes them happy. I have had the privilege of attending weddings that happened after guests reached the realization that they can love again, and move on. I govern myself with one rule, tell the truth about myself. The emotions that follow will happen; I experience them, learn from them and continue to grow. Don?t be afraid to cry or to laugh, to love and most important don?t be afraid to lose. It is an integral part of who we are as human beings and it is what makes us what we are. Catherine