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Everyone has a handle here a name we know people by...before you sign up i think its best to do your homework...make sure your handle is NOT similar to others. This causes to much confusion if 2 people have handles that are very close. This happened today with our Spud271... so i would suggest using something that is familiar to you...maybe an old nickname ex: toothpick or heyyou...lol maybe even something you always wanted to be ex:bestfuck so many ways to come up with an original handle if you nee help you can email me....lol...i would love to help. kisses, Emma

Sitting and reading this thread made me smile as I have sat and pondered this many times. 1985 was my first year working. My rate was $200/hr. The majority of my clients still pay that. I have had years where my fee was much higher but it wasn?t in Canada. I agree with Christine that there is a price ceiling. I feel it is generated by a combination of self and societal beliefs. The discretionary income is there, I see it every day. The challenge is that we are not a recognized industry and there is no organization amongst us to speak of. The women who make up our ranks have such vast differences in work ethics and expectations that it makes it impossible to set an industry standard for either service or fees. Unions have ensured our tradesmen are given a set wage and benefits package and even full time food service workers are given benefits packages. There are standardized base salaries pretty much across the board for all occupations that require certification. There is also an expected commitment to working a set number of hours per week depending on whether you are full or part-time in a recognized profession. Our business is completely different. Women can work as often or as little as they want. They can set their own rates depending on their expectations or needs and never think about ?undercutting? someone else. There are no rules. Every legitimate small business owner has to operate within guidelines dictated by our government; ie taxes, employees, licenses and codes. We have nothing. The mismanagement of rates is not an individual issue. Independents run their business as best they can with the current legislation in place. Until it changes and we can start organizing as an industry our rates are subject to the whim and fancy of our guests. I have always believed that there should be mandatory training that covers the gamut of challenges we face. Too many women get involved without the proper information at hand and it puts everyone at a distinct disadvantage. There needs to be some sort of accreditation. If women had a clear understanding of the toll this business could take on them, the rates they set would reflect the physical, emotional and spiritual costs involved. It is a challenge that will only be changed when we are given the same basic rights as other Canadians and who knows when that will be. Until then, those of us who have committed a lifetime to this business need to make sure their money management skills rival that of Warren Buffet or else they will wake up one day with little to show for the years of hard work? Catherine

In addition to being a provider, I'm also self-employed in another field. It's work I enjoy, but it doesn't pay well enough to support my children and myself. I take on contracts in my other career, but the majority of my income comes from being an SP. My son has no idea about my real line of work. To keep things as separate as possible, I only see clients between about 10:00 a.m. and 2:30 p.m. on weekdays and I do outcalls at most one or two evenings a week. Those evenings are usually booked up weeks in advance and are very stable. I'm always home by 10:00 p.m. at the latest. When my son goes to visit his father in Ontario, my schedule can be as open and flexible as I want it to be. I generally ask clients to confirm meetings with me in the morning of the day we're getting together. I always explain that I'm a mother and it's possible (but not very likely) that something could happen to my child--he could come down with a bug or something--which is the only reason I would need to postpone our meeting. So far, that's worked very well. I don't think that being a provider has affected my parenting. I am who I am, and how I am, everywhere. I think I'm very fortunate that my children have felt that they could talk about sex, sexuality, safe sex and STDs with me very openly. They trust me to be open-minded and to give them straight, honest responses to what they talk about. It never seems to have occurred to them that I have any special reason for being very well-informed, it's just the way things are. My kids tease me and say that I was probably a lot like Hermione Granger, the girl in the Harry Potter novels, when I was growing up.:lol: I did go through a period when I felt misgivings because there's a big part of my life that I can't share in any way with my children. I finally realized that children rarely know their parents very well in many ways. The parent/child relationship is largely about the children, and rightly so. One of the hardest things even for adult children is to recognize their parents as complete human beings who are separate from them and who have thoughts, ideas, hopes and dreams that have nothing to do with their kids at all, but are part of who the parent is, as a person. Looking at my situation that way makes it easy to separate these pieces of my life.