SamanthaEvans

I didn't pull any pranks this year, but I enjoyed some that others had running. I loved CBC radio's As It Happens report that Conrad Black had been offered a seat in the Senate, representing British Columbia. I'm not sure Conrad has ever been here. The local morning show had a report about a new provincial tax on toilet paper, $0.05 per roll, $0.10 for 3-ply, because TP is a pulp product, requires a lot of water and so is an environmental concern.

Easter brunch today with my extended, adopted family, nearly all of whom are over the age of 75; one will be 89 in another month. It lifts my heart every time we're all together and I see that they're healthy and well. I'm trying to savor days like this because I know that things could change anytime. It's a pleasure to love and be loved by these strong, courageous and very wise friends.

Peachy, many websites haven't updated their information about gonorrhea, yet, but it's very important to note that it can no longer be considered automatically to be curable. I posted info about this in the other thread. Gonorrhea has been building resistance to antibiotics since the 1940s. That these incurable cases were discovered in Toronto is a good indication that this form of gonorrhea will soon be found across the country.

OD, you are, without a doubt, one of Cerb's greatest treasures. I've been hanging out in cyberspace since the early 1980s, before most people knew that there was anything cyber going on in the ether. I've been part of many communities and helped start a couple of esoteric ones. I've made friends, played games, learned to write better, made more friends, played more games and moderated some forums until I decided that my desire to die from excess fury or anxiety wasn't as strong as my will to live on and offline. But above all, I've made friends online who have been as important and as real to me as people I know in the non-cyber worlds. One of the wonderful things about Cerb is that we can engage with each other here and also in real life. Many people are surprised to learn that the people they've first encountered online are much the same offline, where they're no longer anonymous handles and avatars, but genuine, mortal, lumpy and scarred human beings with perhaps a few less superpowers. But the simple fact is that character, personality and integrity are unmistakeable and almost impossible to disguise. You, dear one, are one of the true ones. One of the real, genuine ones. You lead with your soul and your mind serves what's good and right. It's no more surprising that your fine heart has taken a beating in the process than that so many people readily step out from behind their cyber identities to give you the real-life love and care you deserve. You would do it for us. So, here's to 5,000 posts! Congratulations for being the fine Old Dog that you are, for learning so many new tricks along the way and for sharing yourself with us.

I think where the pressure comes from is an interesting question, RG. Whether sex workers' collective refusal to provide some experiences would make a difference is also an interesting question. I'm sure that just about all of the ladies on this board are asked to provide BBFS sometimes. While I wish that one could say that the gentlemen who seek the companionship of ladies who charge above a particular price point are unlikely to see those who charge less, there's no reason to assume this is true. That may be one of the reasons that the expectation doesn't go away. In Vancouver, BBFS is available from women who work outdoors, particularly near the end of the month, which is also a time when the rates they charge for various services drops considerably. I have spoken with many outdoor workers. They say they offer BBFS when they have an urgent need for money to pay the rent or to provide basics for their children. The majority are on social assistance, often because they have young children, but also because of mental health issues and/or addictions that make them unemployable. Welfare rates in B.C. are the among the lowest in the country while housing is more expensive here than anywhere else in Canada. Social assistance here may not cover the cost of housing, let alone groceries and other necessities. The B.C. Centre for Excellence in HIV/AIDS reported in 2009 that 26% of Vancouver's street-based sex workers had HIV/AIDS. Other estimates are as high as 50%. Whether the workers became infected through sharing needles or from sexual contact is very difficult to determine. I'm sure that many, if not most, of the outside workers are not in a position to refuse to offer BBFS some of the time. Having seen the cars driven by many men who pick up street workers, I'm pretty sure that most could afford to pay more, but choose not to. There's no question that the encounters I offer are markedly different from an encounter with an outside worker. Nevertheless, depending on what a prospective client is looking for, these differences may not be significant to him and so he may be willing to see me or one of my colleagues sometimes and one of our outside-working colleagues at other times. It could be that one of the significant differences between me and a woman who works outside is that I do feel I can afford to turn away someone who asks for BBFS.

Gonorrhea is the second most-commonly diagnosed STI in North America. It has been treated with antibiotics, but has been growing resistant for 70 years. In the 1940s, sulfa drugs stopped being effective. In the 1970s, so did penicillins; tetracyclines lost effectiveness in the 1980s. In 2007, fluroquinolone drugs also stopped working. In August, the US Center for Disease Control announced that oral cephalosporins were no longer recommended for treating gonorrhea. The CDC issued new treatment guidelines for gonorrhea recommending a multiple antibiotic regime. In January, the Journal of the American Medical Association reported that the one remaining drug that had been effective, Cefixime, was not effective in a number of cases identified in Toronto. An additional article in the same issue of the JAMA noted that there are no other treatment options available. Gonorrhea can live happily in a human throat, undetected. Anyone who has gonorrhea is at increased risk of infection if they come in contact with HIV/AIDS.

I don't mind talking about this openly, Peachy. When I started to work, no one ever inquired about BBBJs before meeting me and I was never urged to forgo the condom when the meeting was underway. The gentlemen I saw and I might occasionally make a wry comment about it being a shame that the condom was necessary, but there was no manipulation involved. I don't think that my clients would have been happy if I'd suggested going ahead without the cover. By contrast, in my personal life, some of the men I dated were initially surprised when I reached for a condom before we were ready to have intercourse. They weren't offended; they simply didn't have any idea that oral sex might be a concern for either of us. They'd always had uncovered oral sex. That was over a decade ago. I've always worked independently and I've always done my own screening. I've generally been a low-volume companion, but even when I entertained more often, using condoms wasn't an issue for the first few years. Many things changed when I moved to Vancouver about five years ago. I needed to build a new client base, so I saw more people for quite awhile. I didn't have a website until I moved here. I advertised in print. In Toronto, I nearly always worked from hotels, but in Vancouver I've only done that a handful of times, though I do make outcall visits fairly often. I have more American clients, here, probably because we're much closer to the border and because many people travel up and down the coast all the time. I have clients from Ontario who come to Vancouver on business periodically, including two of my original clients. I have never offered BBBJs and have always made it clear in my advertising, phone conversations and e-mail that I will use condoms for everything. This began to be a deal-breaker for many prospective clients, which surprised me. Syphilis has been common in Vancouver for a very long time, was classified as an epidemic in the mid-1990s and has only recently begun to decline. The strains of syphilis, here, are notable for producing no symptoms in most people who contract it, which is one reason it spreads so easily. I no longer see anyone under 40 because I don't need to. I received considerable pressure not to use condoms for oral from younger, unmarried men. A lot of them declined to meet me, which was fine. But many of them tried to re-negotiate things after we were together in person, using the heat of the moment as an excuse, or stressing that they were "obviously clean". A rare few decided to leave instead of carrying on with the meeting. Some tried to bully me into giving refunds and one of them became very angry when I refused. The worst was a 36 year-old man who had made a couple of wry comments about the condom. Instead of having me on top of him, he wanted me on all fours. When I reached around to guide him, I found he'd taken the condom off. He laughed, "Oh, oh. You caught me!" I went ballistic. He left when I picked up the telephone. Most of my clients now are between the ages of 58 and 75. I love my regular visitors, but the prospective and first-time clients often challenge my restrictions. I don't take same-day or last-minute meetings. The combination of my screening process and my availability means that it can take anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks to meet me in person. I'm willing to exchange a lot of e-mail and have short phone conversations in the meantime. By the time my guest and I actually lay eyes on each other, we've established what I feel is a good rapport. (If we haven't, I will decline to meet.) After all of that, it's unsettling when some new visitors claim to be surprised that I won't compromise about condoms for oral sex. They often say that they didn't think I'd really meant what I'd written or said on the phone, or that they were sure I'd change my mind once we met in person. Two have brought printouts of what they said were their STI test results to use as last-minute bargaining tools. I've heard long stories about loss of sensation, about condoms being too small or too tight (even after I've unrolled one over my hand and up my forearm). I've heard about erectile problems and ejaculatory difficulties they attribute to condoms. Twice I've had clients turn a playful spanking into something that was definitely punishing because I'd used a condom on them for oral, to completion. For one of them, the spanking was pay-back. The other really thought I'd give in for the second round. (That round didn't happen!) The only people who have ever tried to talk me into BBFS have been older men. They've said that they've had vasectomies or that I'm the only woman they will have been with other than their wives. One said he had no children because of a low sperm count. Another said I could trust him because he's a physician. A couple of years ago, I saw one man who made a fuss about condoms and even asked to remove it while we were having intercourse. He contacted me recently, certain that we could work things out now that time had passed. I told him I hadn't changed my restrictions. He said he didn't expect that I would. He paid my social rate to take me out for lunch. At the end of the meeting, he was shocked when I still refused to consider meeting with him without condoms. A few days ago, a fellow I've seen four times offered a significant monthly retainer if I would agree to BBFS. He wanted to be a boyfriend who gives me money and looks the other way if I entertain anyone else. But he also travels extensively in Asia and India, where he delights in the opportunities he has for female companionship, often at very low rates. A few visitors have told me on their way out of the door or later, in e-mail, that the engagement was wonderful but, regretfully, they won't re-book because of the condom. I want to be very clear, though, that, while I do feel pressured and subjected to various kinds of manipulation, I am not worried about going out of business. Most of my clientele are regulars. I'm doing well in my corner of the profession. I don't have qualms about the choices I've made. But it has taken me quite awhile to get to be in my position and I recognize that I am where I am because of simple, plain, good luck as well as because of the way I run my business.

Personally, I think that love is essential for our well-being. It is human to want contact with others. Babies who get little physical contact often fail to thrive. Adults who are extremely isolated often develop serious physical and mental health problems. One reason many people experience dogs as therapeutic is that dogs give their owners unconditional love and approval. A dog can be a remedy for depression for some people. I also think that love isn't about heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, bouquets of flowers or poetry, though it may include them. Love is not that heart-thumping elation one might feel for a new partner, though it may include that, too. In some religious traditions there are commandments about love, loving neighbours, loving strangers and engaging in loving acts. Love can be commanded or required because, ultimately, love is not what we feel, it's what we do. It's how we treat others. Not just people we already care about and who have done good things for us, but people we don't know or have good reason not to like, care for or trust.

I don't think it means that the SP is naive. Rather, it means that we've made different choices based on personal risk-tolerance. There are many good reasons for choosing to offer BBBJs and many good reasons for choosing not to do it. I, for one, do not denigrate ladies who provide this option. I trust them to know what's best for them. I know some women, for example, who get tested every month and feel this provides them with more information and support for their choices than being tested every three months, for example. Others base their decisions on the number of guests they entertain. Some have health issues that make them more susceptible to infections in general and decide to limit their exposure for that reason. Everyone is different. It certainly IS possible to be successful in our industry while offering only covered contact. I've done this for a very long time. It's also true that there are potential clients who will not tolerate this restriction and may be considered a loss in business. Sadly, there are some clients who feel entitled to pressure paid companions into performing BBBJs even when they've been informed prior to the meeting that the option isn't available. They seem to think that it's okay to object to the condom after things are well underway, to refuse to continue the meeting, to demand a full or partial refund of the fee they've paid, to make threats about reviews and recommendations or even to go through with the engagement but write highly disparaging reviews later on.

Time to add a few more of these to our archive, I think. This selection includes a troll-feeding alert in German and a troll identifier originally intended for newsgroup readers, but applies to any forum. Enjoy!

Dave, I'm replying against my better judgment. In some ways your posts in this thread seem trollish and I'm allergic to feeding trolls. Nevertheless, this has been a serious discussion about the pressure on paid companions to agree to bareback activities, including a query about whether BBBJs are as risky as BBFS. Several people have contributed helpful, factual information, including links to authoritative resources. Your post, however, was full of conjecture, unsubstantiated statements and ungrounded accusations generally in favour of the argument that the risk of contracting a serious STI is miniscule. What you've heard in response has been dull shock and dismay and now it appears that you want others to do your work for you, to prove you wrong. That's not going to happen. I've been a paid companion for over a decade and have heard the "minimal risk" argument at least once a week, and frequently far more often. I find it personally offensive and insensitive because it doesn't take into account the reality of my life and working conditions. For many men, the risk of contracting an STI from a woman may be relatively low, given that they may have only a few sex partners a year, or less. But for paid companions, the risk is exponentially higher because of the number of partners we encounter in a month, a year or a lifetime. Let's say that we're in a room with 100 other people. One person has a gun with two bullets in it and he fires both of them. A lot of people may reckon that they have a 2% chance of being hit; they feel pretty safe, overall. Others may say that they don't want to be anywhere near that room, let alone in it, no matter how many other people are there because there's a guy, with a gun, and he's shooting bullets! But for me, it's my room. I entertain the whole crowd here, and I never know which of them has the gun. Most of the time, the one with the gun doesn't know he has it, either. Do your own research. Then reflect on what you read. Be humane. Have empathy. Be compassionate.

Good point. The question is whether a BBBJ is as dangerous as BBFS. The simple answer is "probably not." But like many simple answers, that is actually misleading. A better question is, For whom is a BBBJ dangerous? The answer is it's most dangerous for the receptive partner--for the person who is performing the act. Have a look at this Sexually Transmitted Infection Risk Chart. The person who receives oral sex is less likely to contract an STI than the one who performs it. The performer is at higher risk of being infected with HIV/AIDS, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis than the one who receives it. The chart doesn't include other infections that are transmissible during oral sex like herpes, human pampilloma virus (HPV) and some forms of hepatitis. These are also serious diseases, but unlike HIV/AIDS, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis, there are no laws requiring medical practitioners to report the infections. In simple language, if I perform a BBBJ on a man, the risk is greater for me than it is for him. If he has one of these STIs, I may be infected. If I have one of them, he has a lower risk of getting it from me. We might ask why there's a difference. Basically, many of us have tiny lesions in our mouths, caused by tooth brushing, flossing, reactions to foods or medications and minor injuries. Those lesions are an excellent entry-point for infection. Add to this the potential for minor injury caused by vigorous thrusting or an awkward angle. I've been part of a discussion with other ladies here about accommodating larger penises orally, about having sore throats or feeling that our lips and mouths have been uncomfortably stretched after performing oral sex. To sum it up, BBBJs are risky for paid companions and other people who provide them. The risk for clients and those who receive them is lower. This is misleading, MP. If the condom breaks or comes off, you're not coming into contact with all of my clients and everyone's various partners, but only with those people with whom I have engaged in unprotected sexual activities. Everyone else has been "contained." However, condoms don't protect anyone against everything! For example, syphilis, herpes and HPV are spread via skin-to-skin contact as well as by penetrative sexual activities. Herpes usually produces sores, but can also be shed when no sores are present. In its second stage, syphilis produces a rash on the hands, the soles of the feet or all over the body. Contact with this rash is an infection risk. HPV (genital warts and in its other forms) may or may not produce any sores but can still be contagious. Many STIs are treatable with antibiotics. The difficulty is that many of them produce no symptoms, so infected people don't know that they're infected. We've had a classified syphilis epidemic in Vancouver since the mid-1990s and the form of syphilis here has not produced symptoms in most people. HIV/AIDS is not treatable with antibiotics, but there are anti-retroviral drugs that seem to be effective in managing the illness for many people. Unfortunately, not everyone can tolerate these medications. Also, there's evidence that HIV/AIDS affects women differently than men in many cases. Last summer, the prevalence of an antibiotic-resistant form of gonorrhea was announced. Only one drug was effective against this strain. By December, no antibiotics were effective in treating patients who were diagnosed in Toronto, as reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association in January. Why do paid companions continue to provide BBBJs? Cat said, This is extremely important and should not be dismissed lightly or out of hand! Many companions are not aware of the risks of infection. Many who are accept the reality of statistical risk and choose to be zealous about being tested very frequently. They offer the activity because they need to make a living, pure and simple, and there are an enormous number of men who insist on receiving it. I don't offer BBBJs, but I do allow DATY. Many of my clients find oral sex to be less than satisfying because they have erectile or ejaculatory problems. But if I refused to permit DATY, or if I insisted on using barriers, such as dental dams, I would need to find another line of work. To be brutally honest, I'm a paid companion because nothing else I do can support my family above the poverty line. I would be thrilled if there was no pressure to provide BBBJs. I think that the gentlemen on this board could do a great deal about this, though much as I care for most here, I am under no illusions that it will happen. Stop asking for BBBJs and start telling other men of the risks associated with them. Help reduce the demand! Classify bareback contact as "husband and wife sex" and not part of the "girlfriend experience." The last thing I want to point out is that most men are never tested for STIs! Unless you are being tested every 3-6 months, it's my respectful opinion that you have little right to talk about sexual health risks or to give advice to anyone about the level of risk they should tolerate. Everyone who has any kind of sexual contact with another human being should be tested regularly. If you don't want to ask your doctor to do the tests, there are clinics near you where you can be tested. Go!

Viruses and bacteria mutate and change--evolve--quickly compared to much more complex organisms like human bodies. Their adaptability is what makes it so difficult to wipe them out. It's also what makes it difficult to know that you're infected. It's common for someone to have gonorrhea or syphilis alive and active in their throat but producing no symptoms for them. No sore throat, no irritation, nothing that might incline them to see a doctor. They feel healthy and so they're able to spread the infection without knowing or meaning to do so. Most SPs get tested regularly. But if I get tested today, the results are only a snapshot of my health status at the time the test was taken. I could harbour an infection that isn't detectable yet, but might be tomorrow or next week. However, I only get tested every 3 months, so I won't know that I'm infected until sometime in June unless I start having unpleasant symptoms of some kind. If I had a dollar for every man who told me that he was "clean," I could probably retire comfortably. When I ask how they know that they're so clean, most will say that they feel fine, they have no symptoms and their wives or girfriends are symptom-free, too. Only a few will say that they've been tested recently or regularly. Too many seem to think that unless one of their partners has a full-blown infection which they must have contracted from their husband or boyfriend, they're okay. I find this cavalier treatment of intimate partners as guinea pigs for their own health status to be shocking, but it's even more troubling that it's so common. People who have sex with other people should be tested regularly for STIs, in my opinion. It's not about fidelity. It's about health and safety. I think we should also keep in mind that viruses and bacteria are smart. Human beings like to have sex. It follows that sexual contact is a good way to spread an infection--it's in the organism's best interests to use sexual contact as a way to proliferate. So, I expect that more things will become sexually transmissible, over time, and that we can expect crises in the future. Engaging in BBFS is like playing Russian roulette.

You are not over-reacting. There is enormous pressure on paid companions at every price point to provide bareback full service (BBFS). Many of us have been talking about this all fall and winter. We're concerned about the women who are being pressured into it for fear of having fewer clients. I think it began with the trend to pressure women into providing uncovered BJs. Many companions believe this isn't safe. Others are willing to take the risks, since HIV is not associated with it because the HIV virus is too fragile to live in a human throat. However, there is a new strain of gonorrhea that isn't curable and gonorrhea will live very happily in the throat, undetected, for months or more. Some companions offer bbbjs but not to completion, or they don't swallow. Everyone makes decisions based on her assessment of the risks, including the prevalence of particular infections in her city. But full service is a completely different matter. In Vancouver, it's available from a lot of street-based workers. My understanding is that it's an option in some of the Asian micro-brothels where the ladies have come in to work for a few months. I don't know why people think this is safe. It makes no sense to me. But I have had prospective clients offer me two or three times my hourly rate or more to accommodate them. I'm sure that they will eventually find someone who will agree to it. I work to support myself and my family. To take care of our lives. I won't put my life at risk!

Fear-mongering is NEVER helpful. While I don't want to get into a long discussion of the law, since several of us have done it extensively, many times, in other threads, I also don't want to leave some things hanging, here, because the misconceptions aren't tolerable and we never know when someone will read this thread later. So, I'll go through this quickly. We have a forum for legal questions, cases and decisions. The laws and their current status is explained in simple, clear language there. Read it! The likelihood that a client will be robbed if he sees an independent paid companion at her incall location is miniscule if he's seeing a well-recommended, reputable lady. If he's bargain-hunting on BP, CL and other free or cheap sites, he's taking risks. Buyer beware! Anytime something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Cut-rate prices can cost a lot. Paying a premium to a reputable paid companion will ensure your safety, security and confidentiality. Incalls are technically illegal, it's true, but it's also true that, until the Supreme Court of Canada makes its decisions about the prostitution laws, which will probably happen in 2015, no one is being charged with operating a bawdy house as long as she's working quietly, not creating a nuisance in the neighbourhood or disturbing the public. The police and judiciary are not entertaining bawdy house charges because there is a strong likelihood that the laws will be overturned. If someone were to be charged and/or convicted, the charges would probably be dropped and the convictions nullified by a change in the law. It's simply not worth the considerable time and expense. However, the bawdy house law is not about operating a permanent residence for the purpose of prostitution. It's about habitually engaging in prostitution anywhere, including a hotel room. "Habitual" means seeing several clients. It's perfectly okay for a prostitute or any woman to have sex with someone in her home or hotel room. If she's being paid for her time, seeing just one client is also okay. Problems arise when she sees several clients. It is absolutely legal to invite a prostitute to your home or hotel room and to pay her for her time, including sexual activities. In terms of safety, the safest thing for the SP is to operate a discrete incall location where she controls things like who may enter, what they may do when they're there and her access to emergency services if required. The next-safest thing is to engage in outcalls in reputable hotels--4 and 5-star hotels--where hotel security gives her a measure of protection. Women who do these outcalls are wise to check the room, the bathroom, the closets and the locks on doors to any adjoining rooms to ensure that no one else can arrive unexpectedly. Most independent ladies do not offer outcalls to private residences when they don't know the client because they are much less safe than a place the lady controls herself. At a strange house, she may not know where all the entrances and exits are and she may be surprised by other people arriving unexpectedly. Escort agencies frequently arrange outcalls to private homes, but they also provide drivers and they record the address to which the lady is going. Part of her security, then, is that she's not the only person who knows where she is: others are also looking out for her. Communicating in public is illegal. Cars are considered to be public places, which is why car dates are also illegal. There is nothing about these laws that is difficult to understand, nor are they full of loopholes. You cannot discuss exchanging sexual activities for money in a public place, period. You cannot engage in sex in a public place, either. Street-based sex workers are in compromising circumstances because they have to have these public discussions. But not only is it illegal for a sex worker to approach someone on the street or at an intersection and offer sex for money, it's also illegal for an ordinary person to approach someone on the street and offer to pay them for sex. Independent paid companions who work indoors are not a significant source of sexually-transmissible infection. We are sexual health experts. We know that the great majority of our clients have never been tested for any kind of sexually transmissible infection, yet they may be the unknowing source of these diseases which they may have contracted from girlfriends, wives and other partners with whom they have engaged in unprotected sexual activities. You can trust us to know what the risks are and to protect our own health as well as yours. The principal issue in this thread, from the outset, has been engaging with underage SPs. This is absolutely, completely illegal. There is no excuse for doing it under any circumstances. If you don't know the age of the SP you're seeing, that's a problem. Presuming that she's a legal adult may be foolish because the laws related to consent will not allow you to wriggle around and claim you didn't know this was an underage person or a child. Ask for identification if there's the slightest doubt about her age. If she's underage, you have a legal and moral obligation to report what's going on to the authorities and you can do so without fear of being prosecuted yourself as long as you did not engage in sexual acts with her.

Far be it for me to prick anyone's balloon, so to speak, gentlemen. Please read my tone of utmost respect and affection: When you were 18, 20 or 22, you were never even half as good in bed as you are now. Sure, back then, you could have four, five, six or more orgasms a day or night. Your problem wasn't how to get hard enough, it was how to calm down, particularly in public. You may have imagined yourself as a force of nature: you could go on and on and on without stopping. If the women you knew weren't able to climax as quickly as you did, it was a shame. Every orgasm you had was an eruptive triumph. You had them so easily and so frequently that fast and easy seemed the best way to go. Frankly, you were an exhausting, not very satisfying partner. A lot of the women your age were learning to fake orgasms so that they wouldn't feel inadequate, or so that they could say "that's enough." The ones who didn't fake it may have seemed "frigid" or that they just didn't like sex very much. And maybe they didn't if sex was going to be so much work for so little return for them. I was very lucky. In my early 20s, I discovered men who were in their 40s. For years after that they were the only men I slept with. They could have a couple of orgasms a night and they had enormous self-control. They would take their time. They'd learned about seduction and sensuality. They often seemed able to reach inside me, metaphorically and physically, until in the same, bright moment, something deep in my being shimmered, opened wide, melted and shattered, over and over again. Those men have become better and better lovers as time has passed. Good sex often takes longer, but it's also more powerful and more meaningful, too. One orgasm. Sometimes two. On rare occasions, when well-rested and with the stars in proper alignment, there might be three in a long night. But the number of climaxes isn't the issue. What matters now is the feeling of completeness, the depth of engagement. A lot of that happens with cuddling, slow caresses, extended foreplay and exquisite games, textures and sensations that bring us closer together and make things last longer. I prefer to entertain gentlemen over the age of 50 or 55. It's unusual for me to see someone under 40. I refuse to meet anyone in their 20s. Younger men may be fine human beings but most haven't yet taken time to know themselves, their own or women's bodies. Sex becomes predictable and, frankly, I bore easily. So this is in praise of older men. With or without Viagra, no matter how predictably their bodies behave, while their sexual peak is long past, their prime endures.

I just want to underscore everything Cat has said. I work the same way. Longer, slower engagements are deeper, more meaningful and precious to me because of the quality of the connection we can make with each other. I accept that some gentlemen may visit me less often, but they and I both think it's worth the wait.

It really sucks that the Eastern Cerbites have to contend with blizzards and getting stuck in immense drifts of snow while we, here on the Wet Coast, are tripping over the abundance of crocuses and daffodils.

You should read some of the threads in the Legal section of this board and realize that your fear of "being pursued by police" is unfounded as long as you're seeing independent adult companions. At the moment, as we wait for the Supreme Court of Canada to make rulings about the laws related to prostitution, the police and judiciary are not wasting time or energy on pursuing ladies who work quietly. As for getting ripped off, if what you're imagining is that you could show up for a meeting, pay the money and receive nothing in return, well, the best way to avoid such a scenario is not to go bargain-hunting. Find an established provider. Expect to pay a premium for her time and company. Recognize that much of what you pay for is confidentiality and a complete lack of drama. Follow Mod's advice about where to find the kinds of women you can trust. And then relax! Paid companions are not your enemies or adversaries. We want the same things that you do: to have a mutually enjoyable rendez-vous and to part company feeling relaxed and very pleased to have met. We're on the same side!

Best birthday wishes, Mr. G! I hope you have a fabulous day and a great year ahead.

I'm a bit taken aback. I hadn't noticed that I was near 2,000 posts. I hadn't paid much attention to how many posts I'd written. Still, in life the milestones that end in zeros do give me pause. I've been a member of CERB for just over four years, with a couple of hiatuses. I've learned more here than anywhere about my profession, my colleagues and the gentlemen who honour me with their support, company and friendship. Participating in this board and our serious as well as playful discussions is a priceless part of my working life. Even when I feel dismayed, annoyed or saddened by some of the things we talk about, every day I also read things that lift my heart and restore my faith in humankind. I'm pleased to contribute to this community. Knowing that I have your faith and respect is deeply moving and I am grateful to you all. Thank YOU, everyone!

While I completely agree that being a success in our profession is all about establishing an identity and offering terrific service, and while it's also true that a lot of the free or cheap advertising sites are full of new companions who don't seem to know what they're doing, it's also true that entering this business is never easy. Most women become paid companions because they're in a significant crisis of some kind. It's extremely rare for someone to make a considered, deliberate, well-researched decision to become a prostitute. New providers usually model what they see; these days that means ads on CL and BP. When asked for advice, I often encourage women to join an agency rather than attempt to launch themselves as independent from the get-go. They'll have more security, someone else will post their ads, some kind of screening is usually in place and, most important of all, they're more likely to talk to other women in the industry. They'll also find out whether they can do the work, which is much more difficult than anyone imagines when she starts out. Unfortunately, a lot of women are in such difficult circumstances that they're not able to take good, sensible advice. They're terrified of being discovered, they hope that this is just a temporary career move and they don't want anyone to know what they've been doing, including other prostitutes and escort agencies. They make mistakes that they could have avoided. Too often, they're forced to deal with dangerous situations without any preparation ahead of time or support afterward. When I see these ads, I always worry. New companions are more easily bullied, coerced, confused and blackmailed than those of us who have been around for awhile. Their health and safety are at considerable risk. And because of their extreme isolation, the likelihood that they will get into something that they can't manage is very high.

Phaedrus, it's a relief to have this update. I've considered gathering a group of ladies together along with a few dogsleds (pulled by crews of eager submissive men) and making the trek to your playground. It doesn't look like spring is going arrive for a little while yet. Even out here on the Wet Coast, many, many micrometers of rain continue to fall almost constantly. I haven't taken action on this idea, though, because of the possibility that you gentlemen might still be in full hibernation mode. While there's no problem in getting the man slaves to drag sleighs full of lovely, scantily-dressed yet fur-wrapped companions just about anywhere we want to go (you really should see how hard they run, particularly when Cat controls the leashes and the whip--she's a little bit terrifying, in her devastatingly sexy way, of course), it's quite another thing to get slaves to do much in the way of heavy excavation work. I understand that the stench emitted by the closed-in dens you guys have been holed up in is overwhelming, at best. However, it seems that some of you, at least, have dug your way out without assistance. Bravo! It also appears that you've found a squirrel or two to run in the wheel that drives your computer equipment. Bravo, again! Eagerly awaiting your next report, Samantha

Yikes... I'm sliding in here a little late, but with no less sincerity! I hope you had a great birthday, that the flowers and balloons are somehow even better today, and that the year ahead will be full of blessings and light.

12. I am Donald Trump's financial manager./I am Warren Buffet's accountant./I wrote the Income Tax Act./I am Sylvester Stallone's bodyguard. I know that I can help make the lady rich beyond her wildest dreams! (or) She'll never be safer, anywhere, anytime, than in my company. Can I offer to trade services? Don't even in your wildest dreams imagine this is appropriate. It isn't. Ever. If she wants your help, she'll ask for it without being prompted. Accept that it's very unlikely ever to happen. Why? you may ask. For the sake of discretion and confidentiality, assume that she's already closer than you will ever be to Donald Trump/Warren Buffet/the entire CRA/Sly Stallone and recognize that the private details of her life, her money and her security are strictly none of your business.