SamanthaEvans

Rest assured, gentlemen, that most of us rarely ride around in stretch limousines and when we do, they're far more likely to have been provided by clients than to be hired by us. It would be highly unprofessional to arrive at a private residence in a stretch limo: it would compromise the client's privacy. Those cars attract a great deal of attention. Moreover, no driver who is experienced in working with us would park such a thing outside the client's home. Safety, discretion and absolute confidentiality are non-negotiable in our line of work.

I wonder who you think you'll be working for and what kind of business arrangement is best for both of you. How do you hope to find clientele--that is, ladies who want to hand over control of their advertising and schedule? Some women do have agents, secretaries or assistants. Sometimes several ladies share one. Most experienced companions want to be sure that an agent knows the industry very, very well, including the kinds of things to expect from prospective clients, managing special requests and so on. They want to be sure that the agent will represent them accurately and fairly, and that the client is properly screened. That's why most good agents are former companions, themselves. If you think that offering this kind of service is a way to make some money from newer, less-experienced ladies, well, that really is being a pimp. I get a lot of requests for this kind of thing--men who say they want to manage my bookings for me or be my driver and/or personal security staff. In fact, the number of queries I've received from such men has increased significantly since the courts and police relaxed their attention to some aspects of the prostitution laws. I ignore them. I know what I need and who to ask. Someone approaching me, out of the blue, I generally take to be someone who's hoping to use me for his own ends and profit.

There's great advice in this thread already. The one thing I would add is to find someone you'd like to spend some time with and maybe book a 4-hour meeting. Then, take her out to dinner, enjoy your meal in leisure, talk, flirt, and relax. Let things follow along from there. And by all means, do be up-front with her about this being your first time. I'm sure your companion will want to make it extra special for you, so taking some extra time is a great way to let that happen.

So much depends on one's business model, I think. With new clients, I've had no difficulty about deposits of up to 50% of my fee. If the gentleman needs to postpone our meeting and contacts me more than 48 hours ahead of time, I'm happy to refund his deposit immediately, in full. That's only happened twice in the last four years. In one case, the fellow asked me to hold the deposit for another booking. In the other instance, I refunded the deposit; he re-booked a couple of months later. I don't ask returning guests for deposits. But if I were touring, I would because of the expenses of travel, hotels and so on, which I don't incur at home. I have had to cancel meetings with new clients a couple of times. I was able to informed one client three days before our planned meeting. He chose to re-schedule for another time. Another time, my son was in an accident at school a couple of hours before the meeting. The client was very kind and understanding. He re-scheduled for a couple of days later; I added an additional hour to our meeting time, free of charge, to compensate for his inconvenience. I think that deposits and cancellation fees are just good business practice. Comparing my time and companionship with someone who sells cars or computers isn't appropriate. No one can engage with me unless I invite them to do so: I don't operate a drop-in situation. There's no free tire-kicking, no twiddling buttons and knobs, and no test drives ahead of time. A better comparison might be a boutique hotel, a special B&B or certain fine dining establishments which require booking deposits and have clearly-stated cancellation policies. Some of my out of town clients book meetings several months ahead of time, sometimes for an entire weekend or several evenings in succession. None of them have ever complained about deposits. It may be that others have chosen not to request a meeting with me because of my policy, but no one has ever told me me that the deposit motivated him to see someone else.

It's wonderful to know we can make lists now that look like lists instead of strange things with HTML problems! Yay!

This is Juno; eight weeks old today. She arrived on Friday. She's full of energy, hardly slept at all on Friday night, but is settling in. Last night was MUCH better! She's with my son in these photos.

I agree. I'm prone to tendonitis in my right arm and have had good results with avoiding heat and using ice. I use a frozen gel pack from the drugstore, with a tea towel wrapped around it--just one layer of towelling between the gel pack and my skin. My doctor and physio recommended 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off, and repeat. I usually do three repetitions because it's hard to find more time than that to sit still. I take ibuprofen every 8 hours, around the clock, to help reduce the inflammation. I don't use a brace because it doesn't seem to make a difference for me. But if you have carpal tunnel involvement, a brace may help you get relief.

We knew this was coming, so I'm glad that Ontario is taking these steps. However, I hope no one imagines for more than one or two heartbeats that focusing on men who have sex with men is adequate. It wasn't an effective way to address HIV. It stigmatizes gay men unfairly because it ignores the fact that some men who have sex with other men also have sex with women. Nevertheless, we should all expect that treatment for gonorrhea is going to require both injections and oral medication from this point on. Remember, though, that this bug has a remarkable capacity for mutating rapidly and may soon be completely resistant to all antibiotics currently available.

It's not that it's an unfair question, but that it's a very awkward one, Bushwacka. No one responsible is going to make generalizations about a particular group of companions. Those who might are likely to be biased and their opinions may have little factual basis. It's perfectly fine that you like Asian ladies. And it's also perfectly okay that you like anal sex. You'll need to contact Asian companions and ask them if this is something they do. There's really no other reliable way around it. Even when agencies claim that someone does or doesn't do something, they're not always correct. And I'm sure you don't want to expect something from someone only to find that she's feeling pressured into doing it when she may not want to! For something like this, which is a special activity that not everyone does or is comfortable promising, your best option is to ask the ladies you're interested in, yourself.

This video is re-calibrating my own mental gyroscope. The Hubble Space Telescope points at an apparently empty area of space and discovers 10 billion galaxies. "Awesome" is over-used, but this time, it's accurate.

Having a chat with the folks at PIVOT would be a very good idea, I think. We generally estimate that street-based sex workers comprise about 8-10% of all sex workers in Vancouver, though some people think that this number is inflated. PIVOT and others are involved in several studies of sex workers in the Greater Vancouver area. Their input about how to involve independent sex workers in sufficiently large numbers as to be representative of the industry overall would be helpful. There are seasonal concerns, as well. Right now, we're seeing a significant increase in the number of sex workers advertising in the usual free and low-cost places. Most of these are students who turn to the sex trade as a place for summer employment. Most of them will leave the work soon, some by early June, others by mid-July, and the last by the end of August. We also have an increase in workers from overseas who come to Canada on visitors' visas. Some will stay in the Vancouver area, some will move around the province, and some will travel across the country over the next 4-6 months. Nearly all of them are managed by and working in the Asian micro-brothels. We have no idea how many of these workers are here at any one time and very few of us have any direct contact with them. What's clear is that this time--the late spring and early summer--is a challenging one in the sex trade. Newbie SPs frequently think that they need to undercut the market to succeed. They're often preyed upon by unscrupulous, fly-by-night "agencies" (pimps) as well as men who focus on very young and inexperienced women. It's rare for these workers to know about Cerb or even the other boards. It's even more rare for them to make meaningful connections with established companions. They believe the generally false notion that all workers in our trade are competing with each other for a small number of potential clients. They imagine that price wars are useful. They think that they're taking clients away from ladies who charge considerably higher fees. Far too often, they don't have accurate information about STIs and safer sex. Most know almost nothing about violence prevention or self-defense. However voluntary their decision to join our profession may be, they have minimal access to accurate, reliable sources of information about laws, health and safety. When they run into trouble, which is often, they have no support and don't know where to find advocates when they need them. Sadly, while most established ladies in the sex trade do not have to contend with violence and abuse very often, the independent and very isolated new workers do. I recognize that the idea of a survey or petition from independent sex workers is not necessarily connected to these concerns about workers' health and safety, but for me, the greatest benefit of such a survey is to help connect workers with what they need for their well-being. Because, really, I don't trust law-makers one iota. I trust the government as far as I can throw it. I'll provide a modicum of information where it's useful, but I am reluctant to invest energy in outcomes until sex work is completely decriminalized and its regulation is exercised by sex workers and only sex workers. I do hope for that time, but I don't hold my breath. The temptations related to sex and money are vast. It will be extremely difficult for law-makers, by-law writers and morality police of every stripe to let go of the opportunities that they may be able to exploit or create in the time ahead. And I know for sure that none of the non-sex working authorities will have an adequate or realistic understanding of the realities of doing the work, let alone workers' health and safety needs.

Happy birthday, Cleo!

That would have an impact for sure! But it would be very difficult to do. Women who have been, or are being, forced into prostitution are difficult to reach. They don't join boards like this one, for example, or at least they don't in the early days of their career. And the majority of women leave the sex trade within six months of entering it. So it would be difficult to get the word out. Petitions signed with pseudonyms are of questionable value, yet most of us would not be willing to sign with our legal names and residential addresses. Who would imagine that we could trust the feds and others with that kind of information? I do think that the message that many, if not most, ladies in our professions are working by choice has gotten out there. The public really has no idea how many of us there are, or that we live on the same street, in the same neighbourhood or apartment building as they do, sending our children to the same schools as theirs and standing around chatting with them as we all try to stay warm while our kids run around together on the soccer field. Certainly in Vancouver, after the hearing that followed-up on the Picton trial, it's reasonable to say that lots of people in the city heard a lot about the differences between women who work outdoors and those of us who don't. The "abolitionist" advocates haven't been able to generate a lot of support here.

Hold it! Back in the day, YOU were the legendary, much-rumoured only guy on the continent ever to make the reserve tank in the VW Beetle (the real one, not the up-market pseudo-Beetle poseurs) actually work, right? And I'll bet you also got the onboard heater working, too, didn't you? Truly, the stuff of legend..... And to think I met you here, of all places! My life is now complete. :motion:

Indeed! It came with a pleasant, cheerful chauffeur. A very nice late afternoon and evening here while we enjoy such beautiful weather. Btw, I like the photo of the rhododendron you posted. Beautiful!

There is a lot of media attention being paid to this topic right now, leading up to the Supreme Court hearing on June 14. Just the other night, on Tuesday, CBC Radio's Ideas did a program about Madelaine Blair, a prostitute and brothel owner in Western Canada at the turn of the 20th century. Drawing from Madelaine Blair's memoir, it was a very good overview, among other things, of the differences between the laws and attitudes about prostitution in Canada compared to the US. It also included an overview of the SCC hearing in June. As for the issue of coercion, that's a bit more complicated, I think. Speaking for myself, I was not coerced into adopting this profession in that no one pressured me into it or attempted to profit from what I do. It was my own decision to become a prostitute. Nevertheless, I made that choice because I was in fairly dire financial circumstances and had no other means to address them. Some might say that's coercion, though I don't. I think of myself as a survivor, above all; I'm someone who was and is determined to do the best I can whenever I can. I've never felt like a victim in this business. But I know women who have felt manipulated at times and who have managed to embrace this profession whole-heartedly and to do very well in it.

One of these:

My short answer is no, I don't. I also make strong distinctions between God and religion. I wrote about this when we had a similar discussion in February, and my thoughts haven't changed since then.

As I said, above, I don't think that dating sites are great places for finding prospective clients. Good profiles take a lot of time to write. Escorts' profiles are quickly banned, making the sites a poor return on one's time investment. Having said that, let's not over-praise the integrity of these sites' users. Every profile presents its author in their best or most ideal light, including, for example, accidentally forgetting to mention that one is already married. There are different opinions about "sugar babies" and "kept women." I'm pretty hard-nosed about it: if he wouldn't give her money unless she has sex with him, it's paid companionship. If a lady wants to consider herself to be something else, that's up to her. We have different business models, too. I do, indeed, have personal relationships with my clients. They tend to be relationships that happen, say, every Thursday morning, but over time the level of personal and intimate engagement is considerable. This is a model that works for me. Other companions work differently. While the Sugar Daddy sites purport to be all about the ongoing relationship, many, perhaps even most, of the men are not always looking for something quite so steady and regular, but seek occasional playtime with one or several women. Even "sugar babies" have a hard time finding those ongoing, stereotypical benefactors. Frankly, I agree. I would never advise someone not to advertise somewhere just because the clientele or readership may not expect to find her there. When I manage to convince the editorial board of National Geographic, Scientific American, or even GQ to accept my very tasteful, carefully-worded ad, I'll be paying for the space. With the greatest respect, Steve, comparisons with the Nazis are invidious at best. Speaking for myself, when my children's father had descended to refusing to support our children if they lived with me, my only options were between entering the sex trade or losing them. My choice was not a self-serving rationalization, it was the right thing to do. What it took to find clients was also right and appropriate. I say: Ladies, advertise where you can. No matter who you are or where you post, most of the men who read your ads will take a pass. Don't be discouraged. Be careful, be diligent, be creative and resourceful, ask other ladies for help and feedback. You only need some men to make bookings. It's hard to know where you may find them, but they're out there.

Dating sites are very good at banning SPs who use the sites to find business so I can't imagine that it's a good use of a lady's time to try to advertise there. One complaint is all it takes to get banned.

This is Juno, the daughter of my dog, Penny. Juno is just six weeks old. We're very excited to have her join the household in two more weeks.

The two publications at this link are part of a 3-year research project by Chris Bruckert at U of Ottawa and Tuulia Law, and a community advisory committee composed of Maggie's, POWER, Stella and Stepping Stone. "Rethinking Management in the Adult and Sex Industry" "Beyond Pimps, Procurers and Parasites: Mapping Third Parties in Incall/Outcall Sex Industry" Both of these are comprehensive, valuable publications, providing excellent summaries of the current laws related to prostitution in Canada as well as great analysis of the management models prostitutes use, including agencies, pimps, secretaries, booking agents, drivers and web designers.

No matter how careful I am to wipe her paws, somehow the dog tracks cherry blossom petals into the house. I could vacuum after each time I take her outside.

I just want to chime in with the rest, Meg. See your doctor! A few years ago, I was sitting in the front passenger seat of a parked car, and had my head turned on a slight angle to talk to the driver, when the guy parked behind us rear ended the car as he was doing a very bad job of pulling out of his parking spot. There was no damage to our car, thanks to the rear bumper's mechanism, but I ended up with a mild case of whiplash. Lots of massage therapy helped, but it wasn't any fun to go through it. Fortunately, my doctor was very good and had x-rays taken or the insurance company wouldn't have covered my treatments.

I love gmail, too. You can import your addresses from yahoo and make sure that they're not directed to your spam folder. You can set up filters so that you'll know whether a particular person has ever contacted you before and how you responded. Once you set up those filters, gmail flags incoming mail from senders' IP addresses. That's how I found out that the man who was stalking me had created a new e-mail account, which he used to try to get me to meet him for an outcall. If there's a limit to the number of filters you can have, I haven't found it, yet. I filter everything--clients, out of town, WOT, no-show, and so on. Most of the e-mail that lands in my inbox has several coloured labels that tell me alot about the sender before I read the message. That saves me time and helps keep things organized.