mister_crufty

I hope no one is thinking I'm making generalizations... This wasn't meant to be a knock on Asians or anyone else. It's just that I realized how important conversation is to me. I'm learning from these mistakes and the next time I'll be more careful. YMMV always in effect, agency or not right? Unfortunately my mileage didn't vary the way I would have liked. Not the end of the world and certainly not a knock on the lady. I don't think I was pushy or demanding, I just couldn't seem to get her to let down her guard and relax. But I don't know her or what her story is so maybe it just wasn't meant to be. As you said, some people take longer to warm up. In retrospect, I should have tried a few phrases in Google translate on my phone. Perhaps I might have been able to make her understand that her comfort, pleasure, safety and happiness were of paramount importance to me.

I think we're all aware of the rules... Review is quicker to type than recommendation and the meaning is sufficiently similar. Point taken though. One shouldn't make assumptions.

That's an excellent point. Certainly one thing I'm discovering that I expect many of the SPs already know Appearance has very little to do with beddability. Looking good might get that initial excitement but attitude, effort, compatibility, imagination, all the qualities given by our minds are what are really important. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that these ladies have had some super hot guys who were completely wooden and boring. And probably some guys who were ugly as hell and absolutely rocked their worlds. Look at Ron Jeremy or as I call him, "The Hedgehog of Love". I've heard the ladies all love him and believe me, it ain't for his looks amirite? :-D

Get well soon. I've struggled with back pain and man, can it ever suck the fun out of life.

Part of why I'm doing this is a midlife crisis, bucket list kind of thing. I really didn't date many women over my life and I feel like I should have more experiences while I'm still young and fit enough to really enjoy it. Also, I feel like I'm still attractive enough to have at least somewhat of a chance to induce a few lady-boners while I'm at it. ;-) Here's one for the ladies: http://www.reddit.com/r/ladyboners I've always found Asian women very beautiful so I thought it might be time to give it a whirl. It kind of feels vulgar...like I'm filling in a checklist: Tattooed girl - check Asian - check Redhead - check I won't try to defend it. Life is meant to be an adventure so as long as I'm not hurting anyone I think it can be justified. Maybe a less objectified checklist would be artist, philosopher, doctor, mathematician, stay at home mom....but I digress. I probably needed to do more research but it seemed to me that you pretty much had to go through an agency for this which I really wasn't entirely comfortable with. "Soldier onward lad," I think, "Stiff upper lip. This is for your own good to step outside your comfort zone." So I booked a nooner and went to the location. What a beautiful girl. I really couldn't ask for any more in that department. But there's a problem...she really doesn't speak much English. Wow. I had NO IDEA how big of a problem that would be for me. I rely so much on being charming and friendly, talking and joking, having fun with the ladies as much as I can. I can now officially say that I will never be a sex tourist to non-english speaking countries. What a disaster. I was trying so hard...I wanted her to relax, enjoy herself, have a good time. I'm flirty, trying to loosen up the mood, see if I can get her to step outside the script. This poor girl had no idea what was going on. I'm pretty sure that she really didn't want to be there very much either. She was so meticulous...scrubbed the hell out of me in the shower even though I'm always clean as a whistle, showering multiple times per day. I never imagined that kleenex could have such utility as a sex aid...you want to talk about aversion to bodily fluids? There was constant wiping and tut-tutting about any sweat or saliva and so on. I think that if sex is that gross to you, you're probably in the wrong line of work. To be honest, I think she actually enjoyed "Mr. Licky the Magic Tongue" a fair bit but really, it seemed so hard for her to relax. I felt very sorry that she didn't seem to have a very good time and in the end, I almost wish that I hadn't gone at all. It wasn't horrible...it just...happened I suppose. In the end, I guess I'm completely ambivalent to the experience. I didn't like it. I didn't dislike it. It just left me feeling empty. All it did is re-enforce for me what I've already discovered. To paraphrase Dijkstra, "This is no more about sex than astronomy is about telescopes." Sex is simply a tool to achieve the goal of closeness, intimacy and a connection, however brief, with another human being making the same lonely journey through life as I. And I'm so glad to already have had the luck to meet some ladies to share those moments with. Cheers ladies. I love you all.

I expect that there are lots of you out there lurking, looking at ads, reading reviews, trying to screw up the courage to try this out. I'd like to share a few things I've learned and noticed so far. Perhaps some of you might decide to jump in. Much as I'd love to keep all the ladies for myself, unless I win the lottery I don't think I can bankroll the whole city. A lot of this is common sense and has been written about before but it never hurts for people to hear it again. I'm not really sure what I expected from all this. So far it seems like any assumptions I might have had have been wrong. I never expected this level of friendliness and acceptance. This place almost feels like family, like home. I watch TV. Prostitute, ------, whore, call-girl, escort, courtesan. Labels that get thrown around like darts, sticking into their targets. What do they mean? What's the image in your head? What expectations are you carrying? Understand this if nothing else. They are just women. Very real women with families and friends and lives and thoughts and hopes and dreams. You can understand that in your head but until you have the experience of meeting one of these beautiful service providers, getting to know them a bit, it's hard to get past whatever images may have been put into your mind. This is the true essence of YMMV. You can't escape it. No matter how professional a lady is, no matter how much pride she takes in her job and the quality of service, she's a human being. If you hurt her feelings, make her feel badly, treat her poorly, there is no way that she be her best with you. If you smell bad or look dirty, or haven't shaved, it's not going to be as pleasant for her so it won't be as pleasant for you. So be your best. Your best might not be that great...we're men. Maybe not as young as we used to be. Maybe not as successful with the 'real life' ladies as we'd like. But do your best to try to be the type of guy that you think a lady would like and I believe it will be appreciated. We all have different goals and expectations of what an encounter will hold for us. Communication is key. You are not a unique butterfly. Chances are she's heard the request before. She's not going to think poorly of you. She might say no but that's okay. It's not personal, it's just not the right match. She might even be able to recommend someone if you're not a douche about it. I've missed out on some experiences because I was too shy to discuss it up front. Just like not being the rude guy, don't be the shy guy either. On a more personal rather than general level, a few things surprised me in all this. I kind of expected that I might feel a bit weird thinking this lady has been with so many men but I find it doesn't bother me at all. I do prefer independents for their lower volume (I think agencies might work their girls too hard?) but not for the reasons you think. I find I really want to please them and I think that if they were too busy, they might not find as much pleasure in our encounter. I'm kind of a conservative guy and I thought I might feel sorry for them or look down on their lifestyle. If anything, the opposite it true. I think it's a wonderful way to make a living. It has it's challenges obviously and isn't for everyone but I think it's marvelous what these ladies do. I feel like I would be proud to have any one of them as a friend in real life and don't see any stigma attached to their profession at all. To be honest, I think I could easily fall in love with any number of the ladies I have met and I would be proud of their job and thrilled to walk down the street with them. Maybe it's just my own hang-ups from my up-bringing but I kind of expected this to be a little sad and pathetic so it's surprising to me that I feel the exact opposite. These women are amazing. Go forth and prosper my friends.

Someone actually PMed me and suggested it too. That's a fantastic idea. He also mentioned that being too detailed might set expectations that cannot always be met by the provider which is unfair to both client and SP. I think perhaps I should stick to the style of dancing around the details. In many ways, I think that it's more challenging to say things without saying them. Teasing with words. Paint a picture in your mind rather than on the page. Fun. Man I love this site. You guys are the best.

Yeah, I guess it's common sense. Sometimes phrasing the question gives you the answer before you ask it. I submitted it anyway because I enjoy discussion and man, this tablet is a pain to write on so I didn't want to waste it. ;-)

Ha! You guys are awesome. I only have stamina on the second go. I envy your control but I guess it must be frustrating not to be able to get off. Me, on the first time, all the lady has to do is look too closely at it and POW! Right in the kisser! :-D I'm exaggerating (a bit;-) but I guess I have the best of both worlds. Pop the first one off quick and then I can relax and really go to work on her. Digging in for some hot daty usually gets me ready for round two in no time. Then, if I don't manage to shoot again before times up, I'm still perfectly happy and hopefully she is too. Why didn't I discover escorts years ago? Who would have thought PE could actually be turned into an asset? I've seen the redseductress all oral special advertised before and wondered who that could be for. I guess now I know.

So I came across the DNR list. It seems like some ladies don't want reviews or discussion of them on this board. On the other hand, some actually request reviews. So I guess everyone lies somewhere on that spectrum. I love writing but I always feel like I'm walking a fine line. I want to be a "gentleman" whatever that means these days but by definition (mine at least), posting intimate details of a sexual encounter for the world to see is not very gentlemanly. I try to be vague enough to not be vulgar but at the same time, I want to convey an accurate description of the encounter. I'm trying to gauge how ladies feel about the style of review. Should I be more, shall we say, lurid? (cue gangster rapper voice) all y'all shorties, I gots me some mad writing skills yo. I can be layin' down some sick 50 Shades shit on yo ass fo sho. :-D So maybe I should just ask each lady if she would like a review and how it should be written?

Wow....just wow. As a newbie to this I'm still shocked by the jerks you ladies have to put up with. Unfortunately it makes me a little paranoid in my dealings with you because I'm worried about being painted with the same brush, at least when we first meet. Having already overstepped some boundaries through inexperience, I'm wary of making mistakes. On the bright side, most ladies seem remarkably adept at quickly putting me at ease. Damn girls, y'all be CHARMING! :-D

Ha! Those reviews are what sent more to her in the first place. I should have taken the warnings seriously. She's a whole boatload of special isn't she? :-D

I guess I just don't understand the point of "getting off" just for the sake of it. I can get myself off quite easily with no travel or associated costs. I'm looking for an hour of love. The intimacy, the human contact, the feeling of closeness to another human being. That's why chemistry is so important to me. I want to care about you as a person and have a private moment that is fun for both of us. If I had a dream it would be to be the guy that all the ladies look forward to seeing. Not because of the sex being good (although that would be fine too;-) but because they genuinely like me and feel comfortable being themselves with me. You're all beautiful women each in your own way and you deserve to have a good experience just as much as I do. Me paying doesn't change that any more than buying a burger gives me the right to be a dick to a server. When you're happy, I'm happy.

Agree with all of the above. Quickies only really work if you're already there, like in a relationship. Honestly, I can't imagine less than an hour ever being enough for me. Good sex takes time.

Well my expanding data set now includes a much younger lady and I can safely say she is absolutely wonderful. I may have to give up my discriminatory ageism towards young providers at this rate. Maybe they aren't all punks who need to get off my lawn. ;-)

Hmm...I like the way you think. I don't think I could ever do it with someone I don't know but I guess if there were a provider that I had a really good relationship with, that kind of raw passion might be fun. "Alright boys, here's the plan. In, out. Nobody gets hurt." - Bugsy (Kevin Nealon)

Ah quickies...that's my problem, not my solution. ;-) They call me the minute man....MSOG is the only way for me. Ain't no way I'm gonna get the lady off in 15... That's not to say it's impossible...some ladies can be super quick when they put their mind to it but I think most women need a little more time. Is it okay for it to be all about me some times? I don't know...that's another tough concept to wrap my head around. Not sure I'm ready to go there yet.

Thank you very much. Much appreciated.

It's not always easy to put yourself out there but talking or writing about things is sometimes the best way to clarify your thoughts. I didn't write this for anyone else, just for me. But I'm happy if anyone finds it a little bit interesting. As you get older, you transition from feeling like the center of the universe to feeling very small and insignificant. Any time you can share something that someone else finds interesting you can actually feel like a real person instead of just another one of the faceless masses. It's like the 'Little Boxes' song from Weeds. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_2lGkEU4Xs. "We all went to the university and we all came out just the same."

I had been wanting to meet Katrine for a while so I went to see her with the intention of just having a massage. I was a little sore and thought it would be a nice way to meet and get to know her. Chemistry is so important to me so it's nice to meet a provider before committing to a 'deeper' engagement. Oh me of little willpower. When I saw her perfect skin, beautiful figure, gorgeous face, lovely smile, heard her cute little accent...restraint started to slip. "Oh what the heck, I suppose it doesn't hurt to upgrade the massage a bit." so I asked if it was alright to add some more roses to the bouquet. "Of course," she replied. She's truly a goddess in the purest sense of the word. Charming and intelligent with a body and face that would launch a thousand ships. She has magic hands and was soon working out my knots and loosening up my sore muscles. I didn't manage to stay on my back for long...I just had to see her. She's just a delight to look at and we had the most marvelous conversation, talking about diet and exercise and tattoos and dogs and Lord of the Rings and all manner of things. She's certainly far more than just a pretty face but I found myself completely entranced. She's actually a little bit shy so I was actually making her a little self-conscious because I just couldn't stop smiling at her. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore...I just had to kiss her so I asked and she obliged. What lovely lips she has. Smooth skin, passionate kisses, what more could a guy want? A lot more apparently. She does this thing which I have never done before called a body slide. Let me tell you, that is some bit of okay. Slippery, squirmy, naked girl rubbing all over you? No way man, don't want none of that...ha. I joke, I kid...it's freaking awesome. If any of you have read any of my other posts though, you know what gets my motor running. It's not the getting, it's the giving. I'm afraid I'm guilty of using my boyish charm and silver tongue to seduce her. I'm a terrible person but I can't help myself. It was actually an interesting session for both of us in several ways. I can't go into details but believe it or not, I think we actually did something that she has never done before. What do you think about that? Impossible you say? Maybe not. A gentleman never tells but she may decide to confirm. I leave it to a ladies discretion. Needless to say, we both had a wonderful time. We actually had a few laughs...She had read my story about falling in love with my first SP so at one point I joked, "I think I'm falling in love with you." She gave me a look for just a second before we both cracked up laughing. The grand finale was also one of great hilarity...kind of like one of those porn blooper reels. Again, no details but suffice to say, there was an issue with aim, volume and range that resulted in an unexpected need for cleanup. Think, "There's Something About Mary..." I was laughing and apologizing simultaneously...I felt like such a jerk but it was just so funny. She was a great sport about it and we both had a good laugh so all's well that ends well. Honestly, I don't think I could have had more fun. I'm an MSOG guy but this was one occasion that I didn't need it and I didn't feel that the session suffered for it at all. In the end, I had only made a small initial donation so I wound up dumping all the roses I could find out of my pockets. It was just perfect. I can't wait to see her again.

Thanks Katrine. I'm looking forward to meeting you soon.

What follows is a strange tale, one of love, redemption, growth and healing. It's the story of what happens when you fall in love with an escort, perhaps the most forbidden love of all. It's a long story which has not been completely written yet but I provide it in hopes that others will not make the mistakes I have made. My first. I saw her here, read her reviews. She sounded wonderful. A warm and understanding woman who would make me feel like a man again, something I had not felt in a long time. Lets call her L so as not to embarrass her. I went to see her, not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to. My marriage is pretty good in most ways but the lack of sex was killing me. Destroying my self confidence, making me doubt my self worth. I love my wife and want nothing more than to have a physical relationship with her but for 6 years or more, nothing I did seemed to make any difference. I've never been confident in my sexuality. I always thought I didn't have much to offer a woman in that way. I'm tall and fit and I'm told I'm handsome but in the bedroom, I always felt that I fell short. That and the fact that I put sex on a pedestal. Sex was important. Sex had meaning. Sex was not for fun, sex was for relationships and having sex with a woman meant you were with her now and you had to do everything in your power to make something more out of it. I've never cheated on a partner. In spite of having been with some jealous women who would accuse and suspect me, I've been faithful. Sure, I look when I see a beautiful lady pass by but I never stray. So what happens when you take a man with low self-esteem, commitment hangups, guilt, performance anxiety, a tendency to overthink everything and not a little OCD, and put him with a woman who rocks his world? Who pleases him and lets him please her. Who pulls the best out of him, a performance he never knew he was capable of? Maybe it's just a job for her, a script, an act that is designed to make him feel that way. But it doesn't feel that way. See, it wasn't just the sex. I connected with her. I felt a huge amount of chemistry. I liked her style, her personality. Her kindness and generosity. I liked everything about her. This is where it went wrong. Guilt, desire, conflicting emotions of lust and self-loathing set in. Is it wrong? It feels right. What does it mean to me? What am I doing with my life? I'm a ball of stress. I can't sleep. I email her, and text her. She's so nice to me, responding to my craziness. Perhaps I would have been better off if she had shut me down right away but I believe she is truly a wonderful person and tried to help me as best she could. Deep down, I knew that I was going off the rails. I've only known her for an hour and a few emails and phone calls. This obsession can't be healthy I thought. I should go see someone else. So I did. And it sucked. I mean, it was sex and all but there was no connection of our personalities. I didn't like or care about her. It was mechanical and I couldn't perform to the level that I had learned I was capable of. I felt terrible. A failure as a man once again. Don't get me wrong though. She's a very nice lady who was very professional and good at her job. We just didn't connect. So I went to see L again. She had mentioned she hadn't eaten so this time I brought flowers and some nice bagels to share. And again, it was a wonderful session but afterwards, I got the feeling that she wanted me gone. Maybe she was starting to worry about my attachment. Maybe I was starting to creep her out. So I left her to eat the food I had brought and went back to my growing obsession. But here's where it gets strange. I've always had a lot of female friends. I love talking to women and hanging out with them and suddenly, I stopped thinking about L as an object of sexual desire and more like a little sister. Someone I wanted to help move a sofa or fix her computer. That's it, I swore, I was done with providers. It's not right for me to pay these nice ladies to have sex with me. I wanted to be friends with L, transition from an SP-client relationship to a normal friendship. She was so cool, I just wanted to hang out with her. She rode a motorcycle like me. We had similar tastes in food and entertainment. We both love animals. So I asked her to go for lunch with me some time, to explore it. I'd even pay her social rate. No response. She was still corresponding with me but every time I brought up the subject of meeting in real life, ignored. Eventually, all my emails started dropping into a black hole. I know now that this is a huge no-no. It never happens. Providers don't want to be your friend. Even mentioning is a huge red flag. And I understand why. Guys are creepy and scary. Not all of us but enough of us. And some of us want to try to be your boyfriend. Your pimp. Take advantage. Get some for free. It's ugly and sad but there are a lot of predators out there and women need to use all their senses to protect themselves. Fast-forward to me finally flip-flopping on seeing providers yet again. "Why am I so afraid of this?", I asked myself. I hadn't slept in two weeks. I was a wreck. I need to understand what this is and what it all means to me. So I went to see someone else. I'm going to mention her name here because I think she might have saved my life and put me on the right track. She is, the lovely, the beautiful, the awesome Miss Cleocatra. She's gorgeous but that's not why I chose her. She struck me as smart, professional, savvy, someone who might be able to help figure out why I was so conflicted. We had a great session. It was fun and I think I did alright. Certainly I had a good time and I didn't feel ashamed of myself so that's something right? We didn't have that raw chemistry though. I liked her a lot. She's great fun and easy to talk to but it wasn't love at first sight or anything weird like that. She's wise though. And clever. I really wanted to learn more about her and the industry so I asked if I could book a social hour to ask her a bunch of questions about herself and other things. I suppose I should have just watched her youtube interview but I didn't know about that. ;-) She turned me down. She was polite but firm and wasn't interested in being interviewed or analyzed or talking about her business. We bounced a couple emails back and forth but what came out of it was one fundamental question that I think might change my life. "Why can't I stop over-thinking everything and just enjoy myself? Sex can just be for fun too." Wow. What a revelation. I'm sure it's obvious for most of you here but for a small town guy of conservative religious background with self-esteem issues, it's like a bolt from the blue. Suddenly it all made sense. Why I was clingy and needy. Why girls always dumped me. Why I sucked at relationships. This year has been different. I've started doing things away from my wife. Going to the gym, snowboarding. Doing the things I like to do instead of following her around everywhere. Taking care of myself and my appearance. Maybe she'll be more attracted to me as a strong independent man, maybe she won't. But it doesn't really matter anymore. This is for me. And I feel great. I feel confident and complete and whole in myself. And I owe it to some of the ladies on this site. So what about L? I feel terrible about how this went. Perhaps it meant nothing to her, perhaps I was just another clingy guy that she had to block emails from. Business as usual. But I'm not sure. I'm a good judge of people and I really don't think that what I felt was just because of my situation. I genuinely like her and I don't like a lot of people in this world. I feel like we could truly be friends but I accept that it will never happen. I really wish her the best and I'm so grateful that she helped me through this difficult journey. So maybe some day I'll be out riding and see a cute girl riding by on her sport bike. And I'll give her a wave. And maybe, just maybe, she'll wave back.

Hi Katrine, A friend of mine had some boudoir photos done by a husband/wife team here in town and was absolutely ecstatic with the results. They have a beautiful place with multiple shooting areas and sets both indoor and outdoor. I'll ask her for the details. cheers, Kris Additional Comments: Hi Katrine, My friend got back to me with the photographer she used. http://www.martinphotography.ca/ It's a husband/wife/daughter team so you actually have three people taking your pictures. Apparently it's expensive by really worth it. My friend had a blast. cheers, Kris

Fantastic interview. I could have skipped asking you a whole bunch of questions if I had seen this first. ;-) (it's Kris in case you don't recognize my handle)

Not wanting to hijack the thread but what about young SPs? I'm 43 and only been doing this for less than a month but so far I've tended towards providers who are not quite so young. By that I mean late twenties and up. I have a certain amount of apprehension about the really young ones (sub 25 maybe?). I'm not even sure what it is...maybe I feel they're more likely to think, "Eww...old guy", or maybe they aren't experienced enough to know that appearance has almost nothing to do with beddability. I'm sure it's not fair for me to judge since I haven't actually met any of the younger ladies but sometimes their ads seem to have a certain...attitude. Of course that's not unique to young ones but you get my meaning. I'm sure I'm going to ruffle some feathers with younger providers and it's really not my intention...it's just a gut feeling based on no real data. I guess I feel like I'm more likely to have an intellectual connection with someone more mature. This is so much more than physical for me. Actually, I guess I really don't have a big enough data set. I've only seen 3 providers so far and 2 were absolutely amazing. The third was attractive, enthusiastic and seemed very nice but we just didn't click and it really ruined the experience for me. She was somewhat serious and kind of bossy. I'm fairly submissive (although I don't want to be) and have trouble standing up for myself. I like a playful session with jokes and laughter or at least fun and flirtyness. We were talking about something that brought to mind the South Park skit about the underpants gnomes but when I mentioned it she just shut me down. Didn't like South Park, thought it was stupid, didn't want to hear anything about it. Kind of hurt my feelings and really killed the session for me. No MSOG for me although I did manage to use my oral skills to get her off at least. Stayed around for a while to be polite but I really just wanted to leave right away. So there. Based on a sample size of 3 I can now say that 2 out of 3 providers over the age of 25 are awesome. :-D I plan to continue the study and will report back as new samples become available.