FACEBOOK rant

[Annessa 22743]

so this month alone I have delt with Three different cases of SPs who choose to add their clients to their facebook....thats all fine if they decide to do so.

 

my problem however? when I'm at a social and a male member makes a comment about MY facebook page because he has put 2 and 2 together with whoever was dumb enough to add him to her FB page. or a client blurts out that we have a similar last name and he did a google search after finding out my name to check out my artwork....ummmm...??????!

 

Ladies...I know they you may feel comfortable with a client and on a friend basis with them but realize that when you add your clients to your page you are not only jeopardizing YOUR privacy...but the privacy of other SPs that you have on your facebook.

 

I have NO wish to have clients rummage through my art pages or see what friends they have in common with me etc etc...and I certainly have a MASSIVE problem with people learning my full real name!

 

whats annoying is that clients dont seem to realize that it is a HUGE blurring of boundaries when they "figure" out who we are and say so. to me, its like someone just drove up to my house, honked and said "hey you! [insert real name] i know where you live and hang out and I think I know your dad!"

 

Ladies, you dont have to add EVERYONE to your facebook. I realize that clients can be friends...but blurring those lines makes drama for everyone involved...I have never encountered anyone adding a client to facebook that didnt end in some kind of messy drama...especially if she realizes she doesnt want them on her facebook anymore

 

GUYS, just because someone doesn't add you to your facebook doesn't mean that they're not your friend...take whatever connection you have here on Cerb and in physical contact and treasure that....it doesnt need to go further than that.

 

Today I have deleted 2 girls off my facebook who have chosen to add clients as friends. I admit that I have ONE client on my facebook but only because he was my friend on facebook through mutual friends before becoming a client....and I dont even see him anymore so I dont think that counts.

 

To me adding anyone to facebook is like seeing someone off the clock 24/7...its extremely unprofessional and comparable to adding your boss to your FB...business and personal life should be separate. am I the only one who thinks like this?

 

Privacy is important to everyone....blur the lines and things will only get more complicated.

[Guest S**a*Q]

I agree. Facebook is weird.

 

I just got a message on FB regarding someone wanting to see me... A friend told him what I do, but... why wouldn't he contact me through some other means, now he knows me (I'm not sara on FB...), which is fine I guess, but kinda not...

 

The only thing different is my name but... it's just too close to home I guess. Work is work, home is home... It wouldn't be this way without social networking sites...

[silverdollar 130]

Annessa your 100% right, by putting a name on facebook is crossing the line

[Annessa 22743]

Annessa your 100% right, by putting a name on facebook is crossing the line

 

I'm assuming you mean putting a name on facebook and a name on Cerb together is crossing the line? lol

 

Additional Comments:

I agree. Facebook is weird.

 

I just got a message on FB regarding someone wanting to see me... A friend told him what I do, but... why wouldn't he contact me through some other means, now he knows me (I'm not sara on FB...), which is fine I guess, but kinda not...

 

The only thing different is my name but... it's just too close to home I guess. Work is work, home is home... It wouldn't be this way without social networking sites...

 

In a case like that I always give the person asking my cerb info and ask that they contact me that way and that I do not mix my work and facebook life...then I block whoever messaged me. I would suggest doing that...I mean, its not like you're not giving them a way to contact you even though you've blocked them. A truly interested client will understand

[NoStrings 100]

I am a bit of a FB addict and annessa is right - be careful. When I a recruiting employees for my company I always look for them on FB before I even check the resume. Too many people make thier information too public.

[Kate von Katz 49953]

I recently shut down my private FB account because I was tired of my "friends" and their crap. Facebook is just a sign of the times, the times seeming to encourage social exhibitionism and social voyeurism. First "reality" television, then social networking sites, what's next?

 

I'm not against blogs or personal sites, but do you really need to add a bunch of people you don't even really know and allow them to interact and access your semi-private information and updates? Personally I am of the mind that, no, you do not.

 

Annessa is right - treasure the time you spend face-to-face with a lady. The rest is encroachment upon her - and your - private life and the odds of it ending negatively are exponentially increased. To each their own, but just remember when it goes sour, your choices were a major contributing factor.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Annessa 22743]

To each their own, but just remember when it goes sour, your choices were a major contributing factor.

Posted via Mobile Device

 

well said Lindsay

 

another trend I'm noticing is girls creating facebook pages for their escorting personalities......I know that Carrie Moon has one for her Porn fans...I'm not sure if i would want to create one solely as an escort because your clients (or potential future clients) would be getting a peek of all the other dudes checking you out on your friends list.....eeek. whereas if you had a background in porn its not so bad as the guys who are friends with you could be friends/fans and not necessarily clients

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Annessa, I was thinking down the same lines. I agree that when the personal and professional lives blur then problems are likely to occur. As for solutions though, I always find it better to take control of what I can do vs hoping someone else will do something.

 

So following that thinking;

- in this case it could simply mean that SPs aren't on FB. Probably not practical or fair.

- if SPs truly want to keep things seperate than one option is to not be FB friends with other SPs. This would then ensure that the SP's FB friends are solely those she knows in her personal life.

- or as has been suggested SPs could have two profiles. 1 for their true personal lives and 1 with their professional identity.

 

And certainly not a FB expert but certain controls do exist which for example could limit what your direct friends see but does not expose your profile to friends of friends.

 

My two cents.

 

WC

[HarveySpecter 1908]

Scary Scary stuff reading all this.

 

I know how facebook works or well i knew how it worked before it got bought and commercialized and how its meant to link people up and stuff and how it surely can be beneficial to someone's business.

But it certainly cuts through one's privacy if involved in this business. if its all about knowing an SP's name then why not ask them when you see them. When Sps ask me for my real name, they always think i'm joking till i show my ID, lol.

 

I certainly dont think i can add someone i have met via this business on facebook except if its not glowingly showing on their profile that they are an SP because I certainly dont want anyone i'm related to know i'm into seeing people in the business and surely my friends too. Discretion at its maximum for me

and in this city it included avoiding certain sections of the city as well as i can bump into friends there too.

 

I'm all for msn and yahoo messengering for chatting but as long as your profile glowingly shows you are an SP then i'm sorry i cant add you or vice versa.

 

Also, just putting it out there. Some people might think they are savvy enough to have online profiles e.t.c but you have to think about the security risks as well and facebook is an extremely vulnerable site to put personal details on. So becareful with the level of details you put out there. Alot of spams and spywares on that site these days and at this rate some new malwares might be invented and who knows what happens next.

[Annessa 22743]

agreed, thats why I have started axeing SPs from my FB...you cant control the world, only protect yourselves.

 

This was really more or less a wake-up call to other SPs however who may be adding clients...that they are not the only ones making the connection, lol

 

I have my facebook set as private as I can...but all it took was for someone to get a name and google and find my model pages on another site and my art pages....I'l be working on tweeking as much as I can in the meantime privacy wise but sometimes all it takes is a name, a nosy client and an SP who isn't thinking straight to make everyone's lives more complicated...regardless of "above average" privacy features that facebook "claims" to have

 

Annessa, I was thinking down the same lines. I agree that when the personal and professional lives blur then problems are likely to occur. As for solutions though, I always find it better to take control of what I can do vs hoping someone else will do something.

 

So following that thinking;

- in this case it could simply mean that SPs aren't on FB. Probably not practical or fair.

- if SPs truly want to keep things seperate than one option is to not be FB friends with other SPs. This would then ensure that the SP's FB friends are solely those she knows in her personal life.

- or as has been suggested SPs could have two profiles. 1 for their true personal lives and 1 with their professional identity.

 

And certainly not a FB expert but certain controls do exist which for example could limit what your direct friends see but does not expose your profile to friends of friends.

 

My two cents.

 

WC

[wellie 652]

Anessa's rant appears on the same day as Carley Chase's multiple notices that she is now on facebook. The fact that an escort has a facebook account is her business. (I don't have one and will never have one). But Anessa's claim that some SPs have clients as friends on their facebook page and mix "business" and personal matters is quite alarming. How does that square with confidentiality, privacy and discretion? As Anessa says, the privacy of clients and other SPs may be compromised.

:p

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Anessa's rant appears on the same day as Carley Chase's multiple notices that she is now on facebook. The fact that an escort has a facebook account is her business.

 

But Anessa's claim that some SPs have clients as friends on their facebook page and mix "business" and personal matters is quite alarming. How does that square with confidentiality, privacy and discretion? As Anessa says, the privacy of clients and other SPs may be compromised.

:p

 

True on first part. I don't think that Carley Chase has said anything in her notices that she wants to have some clients as friends to her facebook though. I agree it will be alarming if one does that and may be regarded as a breach of confidentiality and discretion.

[PistolPete 61421]

The FB thing does not bother me, if the SP is on there advertising. Personally I'm on there, yup...but not the real me..lol.So I'm friends with some ladies that are here and there,and on blogs and any other advertising "weapon of choice" does it really matter?

 

I.... the real me will never have a FB profile,I just like to play along like some others do,and I see no harm no foul. But if you are an Sp and have a real FB profile- "Wow" is all I got to say.

[Annessa 22743]

The FB thing does not bother me, if the SP is on there advertising. Personally I'm on there, yup...but not the real me..lol.So I'm friends with some ladies that are here and there,and on blogs and any other advertising "weapon of choice" does it really matter?

 

I.... the real me will never have a FB profile,I just like to play along like some others do,and I see no harm no foul. But if you are an Sp and have a real FB profile- "Wow" is all I got to say.

 

so if I'm an SP I shouldnt have a facebook page at all unless its in my SP name? I'm hoping I'm misunderstanding what you're saying here.

 

and to all those who think that this is because of the other gals FB posting, that is all purely coincindential...those who know me know I'm going through enough grief with a couple SPs as of very recently who decided they should be adding clients to their personal pages.

 

I keep my escorting life off of my personal page so I dont think I should not be allowed to have a personal FB page and that I'm just waiting for someone to find me out if I do. thats being a little too overcompensating

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

My Dad and brother are on my facebook. 'nuff said.

[wellie 652]

True on first part. I don't think that Carley Chase has said anything in her notices that she wants to have some clients as friends to her facebook though. I agree it will be alarming if one does that and may be regarded as a breach of confidentiality and discretion.

 

I did not say anything about Carley Chase's intentions. What I meant was that I found the multiple announcements of her FB participation somewhat curious. My curiosity was heightened by Anessa's rant. Why would someone make a big deal about FB membership on the CERB board?

[Guest W***ledi*Time]

I opened a Facebook account a couple of years ago, I frankly have completely forgotten why. It was for some one-time specific thing that had nothing to do with this hobby.

 

I was mystified when I quickly got a message from the "Facebook Team", saying "Here are some people you may know on Facebook", listing one female name that I was completely unfamiliar with. A little poking around rapidly revealed that this was the Facebook account of a lady here on Cerb (under a different name, obviously), with whom I had once exchanged e-mails. I felt like I was seeing something I had no business seeing, and I promptly signed out of Facebook and have never returned.

 

I am an utter luddite in some respects, and I suppose that in this case privacy settings or procedures for something were set wrong somewhere, or (hopefully) this was just another alias for this lady and not her real name.

 

The obvious power of the Facebook tools for tracking down connections thoroughly creeped me out, though.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I did not say anything about Carley Chase's intentions. What I meant was that I found the multiple announcements of her FB participation somewhat curious. My curiosity was heightened by Anessa's rant. Why would someone make a big deal about FB membership on the CERB board?

 

I think that the main point of this thread was not about SPs having FB (unless I am mistaken) but rather SPs adding their clients as friends to their FB (I guess with their real name and pictures!!!!). My point was that, it is likely not about Carley Chase's notices today as you seems to have indicated the possibility in your earlier post, because Carley has said nothing in her notices about adding clients to her facebook.

[PistolPete 61421]

so if I'm an SP I shouldnt have a facebook page at all unless its in my SP name? I'm hoping I'm misunderstanding what you're saying here.

 

and to all those who think that this is because of the other gals FB posting, that is all purely coincindential...those who know me know I'm going through enough grief with a couple SPs as of very recently who decided they should be adding clients to their personal pages.

 

I keep my escorting life off of my personal page so I dont think I should not be allowed to have a personal FB page and that I'm just waiting for someone to find me out if I do. thats being a little too overcompensating

 

If you have a FB personal profile right now in your real name, would you not think it would not be hard for people to know what you are doing?

That is what I'm getting at. I know 2 ladies that were here (key words "were here")and had a FB profile with of course real names.

Don't think it did not take long for them to close up shop,after being hounded,and harassed. Again it is your decision what you do in your private life, but I know that I the real me would never have a real personal FB profile.

That is what I'm saying....

[777flyer 1612]

All the above is why i have never, nor ever will, get my own FB page.......

 

Too many things can happen beyond your control on that site, and I prefer not to have my information in such a public format.........ever.....

[PistolPete 61421]

All the above is why i have never, nor ever will, get my own FB page.......

 

Too many things can happen beyond your control on that site, and I prefer not to have my information in such a public format.........ever.....

 

Ahh but you can always create a fake one,no real identity,no real pictures,no information given. That is why I only have about 15 friends on there...lol.

[Kyra.Graves 23779]

I did not say anything about Carley Chase's intentions. What I meant was that I found the multiple announcements of her FB participation somewhat curious. My curiosity was heightened by Anessa's rant. Why would someone make a big deal about FB membership on the CERB board?

 

I can't speak for her but my assumption would be that she is advertising, the same way that many ladies announce when they join twitter or any other social networking site. This way guys like Pete who have accounts can join and interact just like they do on the board and see pics when they want, have a conversation with her and see updated schedules or announcements. There are a lot of people that prefer the format of the various social networking sites over a forum. :)

[Guest Ou**or**n]

Facebook it is what it is - a social networking site. No matter how much privacy you set if your profile is never completely private (otherwise why have it). However notice the term 'social' is pretty much the opposite of 'private'.

 

Never, ever, ever let those two identities overlap - not with escorting-world friends or clients. As Annessa is pointing out the odds of something going wrong are simply way too high.

 

Even in not mixing escorting-world friends with square-world friends there are still dangers. Ottawa is still a small town and with people tendency to tag everyone in photos (which them become visible to all their friends by most default privacy settings), the odds of someone coming across your square-world identity are actually pretty high.

 

Just think - you sometimes meet your clients in the real world 'in passing'. However as FB becomes so pervasive there is also a chance of meeting 'in passing' in the virtual world. But on FB that meeting in passing also includes your name, pictures and tons of personal information.

 

Say an SP has a mutual friend with me by accident (say I add a new coworker who happens to be a relative) The SP puts up a photo and of herself and our mutual friend does something as simple as comment on it. Because I'm friends with her friend now I can not only see that photo, but ALL the photos in that album even though that album is not my friends. Worse, on that other pictures in that album I can see any other people's names that were tagged in completely different pictures or commented on completely different pictures. This is a HUGE potential risk for SP's exposing not just themselves but their family and friends.

 

While I'm all for SP's using FB for their real world selves, they need to understand they are playing with fire. In FB privacy settings do not let 'Friends of Friends' see anything.

[PistolPete 61421]

I can't speak for her but my assumption would be that she is advertising, the same way that many ladies announce when they join twitter or any other social networking site. This way guys like Pete who have accounts can join and interact just like they do on the board and see pics when they want, have a conversation with her and see updated schedules or announcements. There are a lot of people that prefer the format of the various social networking sites over a forum. :)

 

Exactly Kyra and thanks, the "weapon of choice " for advertising in today's world is really brilliant. There quite a few ladies that I follow on Twitter,Blogs,etc, we talk I get to know in advance of any information regarding tours, I like the networking sites for 1 on 1 communication it works well.

[drlove 37202]

I agree... discretion and privacy are of paramount importance, especially when using social media. Thanks for bringing it to everyone's attention.