Escort/Companion Etiquette. Does it exist?

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

When I was dancer there were common 'rules' that we all lived by. I called it 'stripper etiquette'.

 

Like when a girl leaves her towel (the one she sits on) on a chair when she was sitting with a customer to go take care of whatever, then it is in bad form for another girl to go over and try to talk to/hustle that customer.

 

Does such etiquette exist in this industry?

 

Of course there are always opportunists who ignore these 'understandings' but for the most part, does there seem to be across the board 'rules' that escorts/companions all seem to follow?

 

Just wondering. Since this is more of an isolating career I don't know if girls have set up for themselves rules to live by or do they even bother because contact with others is very minimal to non-existent

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

In other locations I've seen ads that promoted the poster at the expense of other providers. Language like "better than" with arrows pointing to neighbouring ads, and even explicitly saying things like "tired of disappointment?" Or "don't waste your time on the rest" isn't uncommon. It always surprises me to see it, and I'd never give someone who used that sort of tactic my attention.

 

You can be confident and promote yourself without denigrating others.

 

It's curious though. I'd assumed there was a certain amount of friendly contact between providers; I'm a little sorry to hear that isn't the case.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

I'm not aware of common rules. However, there are some things that some ladies do, that I dislike.

 

Talking negative about others. Don't talk smack about someone just because you don't think she is attractive, or charges too much/too little.

 

Gossiping with clients about other ladies. Just don't do it. If the client is the gossiper (and it happens more then most realize), nip it in the bud. Change the subject, tell him you don't want to hear it.

 

Help others when you can - if this is something you can do. I reach out to new providers when I see they are struggling. However, 9 times out of 10, it bites me in the ass. Some just seem to think they know everything, and will then think you are trying to steal their clients, when all you were doing was trying to offer some advise based on what you see. I still help, but am cautious about letting new providers into my life.

 

I've worked in agencies, so know every trick in the book some use. I can spot it a mile away, and steer clear of those that use these tactics.

 

I do wish there was some common etiquette in this industry. However, there are always new people entering and they always think they know everything. They either fizzle out, or explode into a cloud of smoke and loose all faith in others. This is a tight community and the legit providers help one another when they can. Yes, women do have issues with other women, and cat fights occasionally occur. Feelings get hurt, sides are taken, but at the end of the day, we support each other when we can.

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

I believe there are no rules as per say, but common courtesy. Of course there might be some competition between us, but for myself, I don't recall being back-stabed by a fellow sp. Nothing serious.

 

I believe better contact between us promotes a safer environment for all.

 

And I also believe that is common sens to share the info when needed.

 

I have friends that are sps and mas, and I need them as much as they need me...

[cinelli 22184]

I haven't had any ladies leave their towel on my front door.

So nobody considers me their turf.

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

I haven't had any ladies leave their towel on my front door.

So nobody considers me their turf.

 

that made me chuckle

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

It could almost end up with a towel as a coveted keepsake...and from there we move into Douglas Adams territory.

[Ice4fun 78396]

I don't think any formal etiquette exists but in my experience the reputable ladies generally seem willing to look out for each other and are helpful to each other on here... that's not to say there is never any drama because if you participate here long enough you will certainly see drama but that said this is probably the most drama free site.

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

 

I believe better contact between us promotes a safer environment for all.

 

And I also believe that is common sens to share the info when needed.

 

 

But you have to be special to have contact and access to info that can keep you safer. If you are isolated from other sp's then what?

[Phaedrus 209521]

I haven't had any ladies leave their towel on my front door.

 

I'm going to find out where you live and do that just to annoy you :)

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

The other day someone text me and told me 'it' was between me and this other girl. He named the other girl in the text. My natural feeling was I was hearing something I shouldn't be hearing. But also a safety issue seemed to be breached. If I had been a unscrupulous girl, having her name would have put her on my radar, where before I didn't know she existed. And I also think that if the other girl knew he was using her name to me, she might have felt a slight violation.

 

I told him he shouldn't be using other girls names to other girls and why. But I also couldn't help but wonder if he was trying to get us to compete so he could save some money and/or get more bang for his buck.

 

Anyways, I told him I think she should win this one, because it occurred to me that he could also have a problem with discretion and I don't need that to mess up my day/business.

 

Etiquette (would other sp's do this and feel the same way) or just common courtesy? Or both. I guess it depends on the instincts of the sp. Is there a code that says we should do our best to protect each other if the need arises?

[50 Shades Raven 31380]

The other day someone text me and told me 'it' was between me and this other girl. He named the other girl in the text. My natural feeling was I was hearing something I shouldn't be hearing. But also a safety issue seemed to be breached. If I had been a unscrupulous girl, having her name would have put her on my radar, where before I didn't know she existed. And I also think that if the other girl knew he was using her name to me, she might have felt a slight violation.

 

I told him he shouldn't be using other girls names to other girls and why. But I also couldn't help but wonder if he was trying to get us to compete so he could save some money and/or get more bang for his buck.

 

Anyways, I told him I think she should win this one, because it occurred to me that he could also have a problem with discretion and I don't need that to mess up my day/business.

 

Etiquette (would other sp's do this and feel the same way) or just common courtesy? Or both. I guess it depends on the instincts of the sp. Is there a code that says we should do our best to protect each other if the need arises?

 

I see a huge breach of discretion here, and lack of privacy on the part of the guy.

 

If he's 'shopping' around, we as sp's don't need to know that, we all they they do this, but I see it as a red flag that he send the message with another girls name.

If he's sending that to you, be it in error or not, what is he sending the other girl?

Some guys do try to 'negotiate' this way, as some sp's might fall for it, I don't and you shouldn't either.

I would be conveniently 'not available' for someone that did that.

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

He could be a "Window Shopper" comparing rates etc. Better stay clear as he has a very loose tongue!

[ninaamour 451]

I have worked in 3 countries...

and YES etiquette is found within other countries where it is LESS legalor not legal at all for ANYONE

 

infact I Found Canada to be the wild wild west ..

girls do what they want

clients do what they want --no CONFORMED idea and a base to work with...

what they do in Halifax vs Toronto vs Ottawa VS Alberta never matches...

 

but if you go to CHI NYC DC or Boston the standard is the same

 

as Hobbiest and Providers follow a list of dos and dont , and standards to know what they are providing , what they are looking for and what steps need to be taken to achieve the date.

 

Most Conform to Verification like

p 411 date check white listings ect for verified providers and hobbies not using ID,

and a lot of men USE work verification

 

women look out for each other in safety AND client sharing..

forwarding clients to a known repeatable provider when your not in town or when your client is traveling and your not avail, will get the same back, even from agency.

calling / emailing for provider/agency for reference very common

 

No one is leaving a towel to mark your client, as if your good enough he will always come back and will want to come back because you offered a new flavor with out Catty play..

 

also my FAV...

a CLEAR understanding of what " girl friend exp****" is with a list of what is considered Below and above the Standard.

 

and a rating scale of 1-10 on looks, atmosphere, performance,

and you couldn't give a 10 unless she provided ABOVE the standard

 

and always doing this dance with clients is crazy cause every girl has her own version of what the standard is in canada , and clients get frustrated in not knowing what they are in for

[Grass_Hopper 18263]

But you have to be special to have contact and access to info that can keep you safer. If you are isolated from other sp's then what?

 

This is a very isolating profesion... It is very important to create a network between us. Luckly, we have LYLA, aswell as other places (Stella, Power, ...).

 

If you want to feel special, take your spot among us, as you (or any SP) deserve to be as safe as anyone else...

 

This wasn't meant directly at you, as you seem to be very warm and welcoming, and i have no doubt that you are building your network (although I remain available for ANY co-worker), but to the ONE out there that might need such.

 

Let's not fight, but create an awesome community, where etiquette is not necessary, and respect and support can be taken for granted...

[TorontoMelanieJolliet 4458]

I just wanted to clarify the meaning of the towel. It is not meant to be catty. These two careers are totally different. When in a club, a girl will sit on her towel for sanitary reasons. Talking to client is meant to be the 'selling' time, advertising time if you will. When talking to a client, sometimes a girl will need to use the washroom, or, they have agreed to go for a dance, but the dancer wants to use the washroom before they start, then she will just leave her towel there, and if another girl comes along the towel should be enough to let her know not to move in as she is still trying to get him to dance, or she is going to take him to the back in a minute. So if she has invested time (with no compensation, mind you), she doesn't want that lost to some girl who only just says "c'mon hun, i play with your **** in the back" (that would be the opportunist or the ruthless girl who ignores etiquette).

 

So it not catty at all. If you have to leave for minute and leave your towel behind (as a sign and also because it is just easier) other girls can just wait until you have finished either talking to him or dancing with him. Not hard to do. And when all the girls understand that, then we have respect for each others hard work, as we know all that can be involved.

 

Additional Comments:

Note: I am not feeling un-special. And I don't want to fight. When I see words on the screen, and it doesn't matter who says them, time after time, when I see that they may sound good, don't always work in practice, then I can be tempted to want to make a point about them.

 

I am not creating a network as the people I seem to associate with in person are nowhere near these forums. Am I trying to do that here? Well I was going to try...but honestly..I just don't fit in. And am misunderstood a lot of the time as I seem to be unable to choose words that can be clearly understood by a mass of people. This is becoming another learning experience for me. I will take it and discover a way to make my success (as I am on my way without the help of forums) increase, in a way that works when you are on your own. So graduallly.... The school of hard knocks I guess it could be called lol

[Regent 35404]

Where sex workers are part of a community there is most definitely expectations around behaviour and interactions, even if they are unspoken. These expectations are just part of the culture that inevitably develops when community forms. This of course varies between cities, social groups, professional groups etc.

 

But there are no rules for interactions, and sex workers who are isolated from community are less likely to conform to these standards, be it out of ignorance, disagreement with the expectations, or just lack of investment in conforming to a certain set of behaviours with no reward.

 

I consider community and solidarity so important. Primarily for reasons of safety and advocacy, but also for creating a shared set of expectations for how we treat each other, because when we are stigmatized and criminalized we need to have each others backs.