420ooooooo420 100 Report post Posted March 10, 2011 OK so I have been looking for escorts for some time now but still havent experinced it yet for two reasons. First im married and I just am having trouble with that, I dont want to get caught, I dont want to have that on my conscious and I just feel guilty. second im a chicken shit to call. so basiclly am i a bad person or is this a ok thing to do? any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
plumbcrawl 457 Report post Posted March 10, 2011 Asking us if we think it is alright to hobby is a little like asking a weight watcher convention if they think it ok to have desert... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
silverado17 12689 Report post Posted March 10, 2011 i really don't think you'll get caught unless you tell your wife yourself and if your nervous go with a mature lady Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Megan'sTouch 23875 Report post Posted March 10, 2011 If your conscience is telling you no, don't do it. I've met with several guilt-induced married men and I find their inability to relax and feel comfortable doesn't allow them to truly enjoy the experience. 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevecurious 42059 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 In an attempt to offer some input, advice or even just an opinion I do not think that feeling as you do qualifies you as a "bad person." Nor do I think you are chicken s**t for not making contact with a lady. What I take from your post is that you are interested in becoming a hobbyist but aren't quite there...at least not yet. Hobbying, or first choosing to become a hobbyist, takes time and can not be rushed. In many ways it is like losing your virginity all over again only at a late age. Take your time and chose wisely, don't make a choice simply in order to say you made a choice. This could lead you in the wrong direction. Keep in mind the ladies are for lack of a better term professionals and you will not be the first first timer they have met. So keep your cool and keep your head and things will proceed nicely. Also keep in mind that you are not the first married man to think as you do. I too am married and experienced similar thoughts prior to losing my hobbying cherry. Also keep in mind that a lot of the ladies have husbands, boyfriends or other forms of significant others so you are indeed not the first to "be the first." Good luck! 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Scarlett 25073 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 I completely agree with Megan! If you are that nervous, then you will not enjoy the experience and only makes you and the SP uncomfortable. I do not recommend this lifestyle for you! If your conscience is telling you no' date=' don't do it. I've met with several guilt-induced married men and I find their inability to relax and feel comfortable doesn't allow them to truly enjoy the experience.[/quote'] Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boomer 33202 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 Ask yourself why you want to take this step. If you have a decent relationship, why jeopardize it by cheating on your wife. There are risks, getting caught or contracting a disease just to name a few, and if one of those events happened, would you expect her to forgive and forget under those circumstances. No I don't think so. And the gals have a great sense when you're doing the dirty on them. So think long and hard about it before you jump, there's no goin back. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest jake_cdn Report post Posted March 11, 2011 (edited) This is an issue that only you can decide. This is NOT for everyone for the reasons that have been mentioned by Megan. If you feel guilty before you meet an SP/MP then you will definitely feel worse after. As you can see by some of the responses to your question the people on this board are sincere and really do care about the people that they meet. This is a wonderful hobby filled with caring and exciting people. Take the time and be sure of yourself before taking the next step. Edited March 12, 2011 by jake_cdn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 The issue about being married, no one but you can answer that. Only you know your relationship and whether seeing an escort will destroy or damage it, or have no impact whatsoever. But that only you know, and no one here can be your moral compass, what is right for some, is wrong for others As for number two, being scared to call. I'm single, and one of the scariest things I did was my first email an escort, setting up an encounter...my stomach was turning over, heart pounding, nervous, thinking everyone knew what I was doing (this was the initial email). When the day came, I booked into my room...then the phone call, letting her know place and room number. Then right after the call, all I thought, omg, what the hell did I just do, no turning back now. Now I'm no longer nervous about setting up a rendevous. I still get the pre-date jitters, but it's the nervous excitement akin to the nervousness you get just before going out on a date (and it's a good thing btw). And a little secret, when I'm sending the final confirmation text message, my hand is just shaking in nervousness and excitement while typing the text message. But if your not going to be able to relax and enjoy the time with a lady, don't see one...at least until you can resolve your conflict with being married and seeing an escort. And whatever you decide, do it because it's right for you. Good luck RG 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 Maybe you should proceed more slowly and start with a strip club or something like that?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
namssa 562 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 Are you a bad person? Not at all. It took my two years since I had the thought of seeing a girl to actually doing the deed. If you have some moral issues, only you can decide and work through them if you want to see a girl. I had similar issues and maybe more, but it was worth the work and the risk for me, and if you do indulge, make sure you are discrete and cover your ass big time. If you get sloppy, you will pay the price. For me it is about 3 1/2 years into the hobby and I love indulging. My tastes and desires have become changed a great deal in that time. I have met some wonder people, mostly the ladies, a few whackos and my confidence with women has soared. Not to mention some fantastic sex with some extremely beautiful women. Think it through and do what is right for you, take you time, it is a big decision. If you do want to indulge, make sure you read the forums a great deal. There is a mountain of information here that will assist you in so many ways in the future. Good luck to you with whatever choice you make. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hardpumps84 250 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 I used to feel guilty all the and I have a beautiful girl who I'm about to marry, but man this sp thing is addictive every time we fight I go to see an sp and I don't feel as guilty cause at the time I hate her but after when she apologizes and becomes all sweet again I feel real bad I keep telling my self this is only until I get married so I suggest not to do!!! just get a rub-tug I heard thats not cheating lol Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrrnice2 157005 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 What an interesting forum post and perhaps a personal experience will help. I also at one time considered what you are considering, as I would be willing to bet many married men do. It came from just curiosity, an interest in something different and new, but I knew myself well enough that I would feel a deep sense of guilt, if not during an encounter, then certainly afterwards. For me, it was an excellent and wise decision, because I was one of the lucky guys who had an amazing wife for 37 incredible years, and I am so happy that I can look back and feel so content with the life that she and I had as best friends and lovers. Yes, she has passed away and I am delving into the world of CERB. For me, in my situation, it is incredible to meet women who are so nice, so sincere and for a few hours, very intimate friends. Even now I still think about guilt and betrayal, but that is for another forum and an issue for me to handle. So be sure of what you are doing, and do not make an impulsive or regrettable decision. For me, my decision was the right one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
420ooooooo420 100 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 Thank you all for your input! its been very helpful Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 This game and I do call it a game not a hobby isn't for everyone clients and providers alike. And there are a myriad of individual reasons and rational for particpating in it. Personally I don't feel guilty about my particpation and I stopped trying to rationalize it quite awhile ago and to me it simply is what it is. People paying for and others accepting payment for providing a form of companionship. I look at it as business transaction first and foremost an unusual transaction for sure but a transaction just the same. That being said I like people and have definately met some interesting ones that I would never ever would have met. In the end though it is a very personal decision and I would be reluctant to provide a recommendation either way. Good Luck! Peace MG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rubintugger 3302 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 I guess the question is "Why are you considering hiring the services of a a professional?" If there is something missing in your married life that a professional can satisfy, then your life with your spouse can be a lot better. Partners have different sexual needs and desires, and sometimes not having those desires fulfilled is more damaging to a marriage than filling them. Keeping your activities discreet, being careful not to bring anything home with you, or getting exposed publicly where she has to acknowledge your infidelity, its like it never happened. The "what happens in Vegas" concept. Even something as simple as telling a close friend can upset the apple cart. As long as no one knows, and nothing gets brought home, it never happened. And, having quenched that thirst, you become a better partner, more able to take care of her needs, wants and desires, because you've had the help of a professional to take care of yours. A win/win situation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eraser 529 Report post Posted March 11, 2011 I'm married,happily too.I feel no guilt whatsoever about seeing a SP. There's plenty of me to go around!!!I thoroughly enjoy having another wonderful lady in my life in particular in the sac!!!Get out there and enjoy the Ladies,man.You'll be happy that you did.Peace Bro. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
J Galt 337 Report post Posted March 12, 2011 Think about the issue both when clear-headed, and again at 4:20. You'll get two separate feelings about the issue. Guaranteed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted March 12, 2011 Think about the issue both when clear-headed, and again at 4:20. You'll get two separate feelings about the issue. Guaranteed. I agree, I'm always my most clear-headed around 4:20 :) Peace MG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vanxander 328 Report post Posted March 12, 2011 i`ll probably get some heat for my point of view but here goes. you wanna know if you should or not? how would you feel if your wife was hooking up with guys behind your back? weather it be a male provider or some random stranger? if it bothers you then why would you do it to her? you want to hook up with beautiful women? who doesnt. but you made a commitment so you should honor it. I enjoy seeing providers but when im a single guy and when im in a relationship i dont do it. show some respect your your woman man. you obviously married cause you loved her. maybe you just need to spice things up like roll play or something. or if shes open minded maybe a 3some would work. that way at least shes a part of it and you could still be with someone new and have no feelings of guilt. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pushpin86 170 Report post Posted March 12, 2011 We don't know his position or reasons, it is a decision everyone makes for themselves and for their own reasons. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chavez 641 Report post Posted March 18, 2011 Hi 42 a million zeros 42 a lot of zeros First thing, don't be so fucking suspious. We are here to help, not fuck you over. Second thing, if you have a good sexual relationship, go with it, if not get rid of your guilt. Ideally your partner should fulfill your sexual need but if she/he can't or won't , don't beat a dead horse. This will only lead to your frustation and a buised an beate 'dead horse'. There are ladies here that enjoy sex and they are willing to help, at a reasonable fee. Never begrudge this fee. Their service take time and effort and are always much better value than almost any government service that you are paying for now. Put it this way, if this was a government provided service it would cost you(all of us) at least 30% more than the going rate. Third; be honest, not secretive. If you believe that a lady was honest, fair, gave full effort and was concerned with her reputation and the reputatin of the industy ,tell us. Anything less hurts us and hurts the honest ladies. This is a concept that is difficult for those to grasp if they are short sighted and are concerned with the short termed dollar. Finally; let me wish you sexual gratification. With this you will be a much better person, with your partner and with everyone else in the world. take care chicas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Marius 100 Report post Posted March 20, 2011 No one posts for a leg-up to cheat on a spouse without being horribly unsatisfied by that spouse. There are a few reasons to cheat... but all of them are selfish and morally wrong by the standards we all (mostly) adhere to. If you are okay to hurt those you love by satisfying yourself, please do. I do, from time to time, always counting on the loved one not finding out. But I do this knowing someday she could, and I, while not being thrilled with the prospect, am okay with that. Don't ask for permission... do it and enjoy. Just remember it isn't just an SP your fu&^ing... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
just2enjoy 1621 Report post Posted March 20, 2011 Before taking the next step, you really need to evaluate your guilt. Why do you feel guilty and once you determine why you feel guilty, how much stronger will your guilt be after? Will you be able to act normal around your wife with all that guilt or will your actions change? Will you be so driven by your guilt that you will be compelled to tell your wife! My demon is the fear of getting caught. Depending on your relationship, this could be the biggest challenge. You have to be certain to act the same and smell the same before and after. Be cautious not to leave a money trail or suspicious withdrawal. Also keep in mind the possibility of being seen at a time/location that you may have to explain and to account for the time you will be missing. Women can be very perceptive- on several occasions, my wife has told me on the morning of my planned excursion about bad dreams she had of me cheating. How is that possible, even though I have been so cautious I tell you this, not to scare you, but to assist you with making the decision especially when married. As already mention, this can be really addictive :-). Good luck, be safe, have fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alpha Male 177 Report post Posted April 1, 2011 Talk about hitting the nail on the head. Couldn't have said it better myself Vanxander. How would you pooners cheating on your wives feel if the tables were turned? Imagine her moaning and groaning on top of some other dude. You know what they say, what goes around comes around, and believe me, it usually does. Karma's a bitch. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
