What were your thoughts on this industry before you got involved in it?

[Guest lydiahardwood]

I'm curious to know from a Provider and Client point of view, were your views on this industry different before you got involved in it?

For me, I have always been pro sex work. The concept of policing what a person chooses to do with their body is an absurd one to me - that goes for more than just sex work IMO. But one thing I wasn't aware of within the industry is how tight knit the community is. The solidarity that fellow sex workers show each other is so empowering, especially in a world where women are often pitched against each other. I seldom see any of that kind of behaviour going on (I'm sure it happens, but it's certainly not as rife as some might expect). 

So, tell me, have your views changed? Did you once look at sex work in a different light and if so, what changed your mind?

[Guest]

  I started relatively early(mid 20's), so my preconceptions were not very off. In popular culture and medias, the portrayal will vary from "realistic" cold, forced and transactional. To "rosy disneyish" where it feels like a real relationship. I experienced both extremes, but most meeting were somewhere in the middle.

  My first experiences were pretty good and gave me a positive view of the industry. If met someone else, my perception would likely be quite different. It's not about the trade, but more the ladies you meet.

[spud271 47779]

I've spent the majority of my life either as a provider, actor and client. My first trip to the Red Light District in Amsterdam I was actually underage, though that was back in the 80's when you could get away with that sort of thing. Saw my first escort in Montreal at 19 and started working in the industry in my early 20's. So that's well over 30 years in this. 

I never really thought much of any of it. Having grown up in the UK, it's everywhere so it's not really taboo. 

[NotchJohnson 214508]

Looking back before I got married I was with a friend who was in his early 30's and I was early to mid 20's we decided to go bar hoping in Montreal and ended up alone at a hotel for the night because we didn't pick up any girls.  The next morning (Sunday) he buys the Montreal news paper and finds some ladies offering massages nearby, called to book and we showed up.  I didn't know what to expect at all so I'm directed to a shower and told to go into another room afterward, simply a mattress on the floor, I lay face down with towel over my ass and wait.  The lady which was not chosen by me came in and soon removed the towel and asked what I wanted.  So I asked what type of massage was offered she didn't care about that she offered everything from HJ to BJ to FS, I opted for the HJ only and never finished even though she let me fondle her boobs.  Things were weird for me.

Fast forward to after my marriage, when the old lady lost all appetite for sex, we used to do it all the time sometime 3x a day but she lost her libido, not me.  After 4 years of getting only a few times a year 2-3 as a matter of fact, I looked at Craigslist and found a gorgeous black lady who was offering her services and to be honest it probably took me 8-9 months to decide on calling her.  Everything was done safely with protection but I was so nervous after I went and got tested about 3 months later and all was clear.  I know it was just fear of cheating on my wife and so on, the fear disappeared and about 6 months later I found a wonderful lady from Cerb and visited her for over 6 months.  The rest was history.

So when I was in my 20's, I really thought "this is too expensive to have some fun, when I can get this for free".  And now it's "this is what's going to save my marriage because I need physical contact".

[charlottequinn123 7334]

For me i was always sex worker positive, maybe that comes from being European and seeing way more of this kind of life in the cities of Europe. I love following fellow workers on a lot of platforms and cheering on the ones pushing for positive change in our industry!

[RayRenpelle 430]

I have always felt that SOd are given a raw deal in society! My first experience was back when I was 19-20 years old. I was in Germany serving in CAF as medic with the R22R (vandoo) the French Canadian infantry regiment. I was the brunt of much teasing as they all knew I had yet to experience sex. I was so shy, still am, that I could be in a room with 100 women and 10 men and I would be going home alone. 

So I decided to try one of the legal house that Germany had. I was faced with several women to pick from. Of the language being An issue I just pointed to one and pick a service from a card that she showed and bingo I was no longer a virgin. 

Then I came home, got married and once we had two children my ex-wife sexual activity ended. After 28 years of remaining faithful to her I divorced. Moved to Vancouver and net a woman who just got out of an abusive marriage. We got married and I felt alive again! Then she got cancer and eventually passed away two years ago.

After being a widower for 5 months I answered and as in the newspaper. I made arrangement to meet this woman and after a 1 1/2 hour drive I got to Halifax to find out she did not exist. My second try, the lady double book and I arrived second and got told off and accused of being a list. Waited a month and texted this lady I picked out on a website. It was Christmas time and she was on holiday and made arrangement for after Christmas. This lady became my regular provider. That was 1 1/2 yr ago and no regrets. I have also met 2 other wonderful ladies.

I find the relations between providers to be amazing. Even though they are competing there is also a sense of cooperation and looking out for each other, like warning of bad clients and so on.

However, my coming on the scene did not seem to be well accepted. And I do not know why. But Because I failed to protect my identity at I receive a few nasty, name calling, messages! It has stopped now. 

I feel there should be more freedom and understanding for sex work. I can not compare the before and after but the present appears to be a very healthy choice. 

And again, I wrote a book!!!

[Janebondage 2266]

@NotchJohnson You are exactly is exactly why i enjoy this work and your story brought an actual tear to my eyes. Thank you for sharing your history. I am truly sorry the first few hobbing experiences were not good experiences. I resonate with that.  

Like you my first handful of trying experiences  were less then stellar.  It was the days of CH classified in the 90’s and back pages after that. Woman were rude, called me a pervert aor wanted to see pics before accepting me. Which made me in constant fear of rejection. 

 

When I found lyla/cerb  thing changed .These lovely woman were open and eager to have woman clients. I had so much baggage from dealing with providers that were not open to woman that the first positive experience I had was from here I was a loyal fan girl. I stuck to my provider and no other. 

She had even contacted me to let me know she would eagerly love to explore a woman if i was open to being with someone new. 🙈I felt accepted and never wondered to another until she moved away. 

 

I saw a few girls after but was too shy to do anything without a prompt. Old nerves kicked in. 

 

and now here I am .....a provider myself. 🤷‍♀️

 

 

 

 

 

I went exclusively to her. I did. not explore much at all...I was relieved someone accepted me. She also contacted me which was a first. So that 

 

 

[JoeBleau 14]

Always been pro industry, the way I see it, a construction worker puts their life on the line when they're on site, as does every SP when they post a listing.  It is a field to be respected and these ladies deserve respect that any 9-5 hoser gets.  Probably more so.

[Andee 220526]

My mother had the book the Happy Hooker and I would sneak a peek a few pages at a time and found it intriguing at age 10. Never dreamed I would become a provider but when I did my first call, I was literally “ hooked”.  Even when I take breaks from working, I am still very active in advocating for sex worker rights and educating anyone who asks or cares to listen on the issues we face and the conflation between human trafficking and consensual sex work as real work.  Even as as plus 50 provider I still hold my own. No expiry date on this lass.

[waterat 20911]

Oh Andee, my lass, on the basis of your post above alone, I know you're someone I want to spend some time with. Stay mighty!

Sending Love your way and hoping this covid-19 will get resolved (not holding my breath) to enable a visit from Ottawa!