Things that turn you off when you see an SP?

[ottawaadventurer 5114]

Wow - what a thread. Bottom line for me is that this board existed before me and will probably exist long beyond my participation. I knew the rules when I joined and I don't complain about them. If you don't like them, you don't need to stay. It's that simple. None of us (guys) is indispensable.

[Hornet 71]

Listen maybe...but if no one point to the SP what are the things they can improve it won't happen. We aren't able to read minds.

 

Agree, and that's why this thread might help you ladies find out about those things that might be a turn-off for us guys. And as Megan mentioned, the majority of those turn-off are common sense, but it seems that some SPs are still doing it, for which ever reason. At least those that are willing to improve, can find this thread informative.

 

Cheers,

H.

 

Additional Comments:

I highlighted the bold.

 

First' date=' I agree with the sentence highlighting "their clients". The more often we see each other, and the more I like you, the more I will bend over backwards to keep you happy. Although I always aim to provide a top notch experience, I do not extend this to someone new.

 

I think the second sentence is key. I'm personally not interested in expanding my client base. I see my regulars + 1 or maybe 2 new people a week and that is more than enough for me. I have other life goals and at this time, expanding my client base is not one of them.[/quote']

 

And I know, from personal experience, that you are offering and excellent MA service Meg. Congrats :)

 

H.

[Megan'sTouch 23875]

And I know, from personal experience, that you are offering and excellent MA service Meg. Congrats :)

 

H.

Thank you! Cheers and goodnight!

[Hornet 71]

Wow - what a thread. Bottom line for me is that this board existed before me and will probably exist long beyond my participation. I knew the rules when I joined and I don't complain about them. If you don't like them, you don't need to stay. It's that simple. None of us (guys) is indispensable.

 

The focus of the thread was not about the rules, although it was mentioned as an obstacle in getting the real picture.

 

But I agree, those who run the board and spend their time on making it work are and should be entitled to make the rules.

 

Everybody else joining the forum should follow them :). I am sure we all understand that. :)

 

H.

 

Additional Comments:

Couldn't agree more. However, what you're not listening to, is a group of successful business owners, like myself and the other girls in here, who are saying we DO this, but it's more effective by giving feedback directly to the business owners, rather than broadcasting it to current and potential customers.

 

Agree. Sorry I din't mentioned that as I was focusing on another point, forgetting the original "feedback" argument.

 

Now that I know that you ladies don't take personally negative feedback, I'll make sure I am communicating more openly. :)

 

Cheers,

H

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

The focus of the thread was not about the rules, although it was mentioned as an obstacle in getting the real picture.

 

But I agree, those who run the board and spend their time on making it work are and should be entitled to make the rules.

 

Everybody else joining the forum should follow them :). I am sure we all understand that. :)

 

H.

 

Additional Comments:

 

 

Agree. Sorry I din't mentioned that as I was focusing on another point, forgetting the original "feedback" argument.

 

Now that I know that you ladies don't take personally negative feedback, I'll make sure I am communicating more openly. :)

 

Cheers,

H[/QU for the record...awesome debate! I love an intellectual challenge. Gabriella...it is a great tool for any new girl who can wade thru the comments and take to heart what is important to her business plan.

Posted via Mobile Device

[Hornet 71]

All,

 

I just want to thank you all for participated in this thread. I personally learned more about the ladies and their way of thinking and I hope others have found at least some parts of the thread useful.

 

I'll be away for a couple of weeks, so if you post your comment expecting my response, please don't think I am ignoring it. :) Will be glad to read it once I am back.

 

Have a wonderful summer! It was a pleasure chatting with you all.

 

Ciao,

Hornet

[Guest E*******h S******s]

Couldn't agree more. However, what you're not listening to, is a group of successful business owners, like myself and the other girls in here, who are saying we DO this, but it's more effective by giving feedback directly to the business owners, rather than broadcasting it to current and potential customers.

 

I think I love you.

[Guest C*****tte]

But one of the simple but yet effective rules is: if you want to run a client-focused business, listen to your clients (current and potential) to make sure you are providing what they are looking for otherwise they might be leaving for greener pastures :)

 

Cheers,

H

 

I am late to this thread but it put a bee in my bonnet so I feel a need to add my 2 cents as a long time and loyal CERB member. I am going to speak frankly here.

 

If my client has an issue with anything specific about the appearance or tidiness of my chosen venue or with my service or my person it would be in his best interest to speak to me directly and immediately and not later in a vague or anonymous message board posting that I may or may not read, that I may not even be aware of.

 

I find it odd for a client to go through with an appointment when he is offended or disgusted. Why connect sex with disgust? Why spend your money when you are so turned off? Why not just cut your losses and end the appointment?

 

I have read of plenty of clients who have said a polite no thank you when the lady and/or the venue was not what they anticipated. They paid a travel fee and went their separated ways. Lessons are learned for both from this direct exchange. Its uncomfortable but it is forthright.

 

Additionally...

 

The ladies who are active participants in a forum such as CERB (whose motto is if you don't have anything nice to say... Please don't say anything at all) are in my experience serious about their customer service so you are speaking to the choir if you are declaring what makes for a good service sexual and otherwise. Yes, there may be some ladies who advertise who may have caught your fancy and disappointed you, but if you booked with one of the ladies who actively engages in threads and you didn't like what you experienced then you were not the right match - and I blame less than full research and/or bad chemistry. It happens.

 

If its a gal who just posts an ad and has some recommendations but never chit chats, then posting your anonymous complaints will certainly never improve her business model. She is not active member and will likely never read your post. If you did not feel comfortable dealing with her right away then why not just contact her directly if it is such an issue?

 

And when it comes to unpleasant situations and appearances, please know we reputable SPs get it. Boy, do we ever.

 

WE KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH UNHYGIENIC, DISRESPECTFUL, AND FOUL CLIENTS.

 

Why else would we request good hygiene and respect so incessantly on our websites and advertisements unless it were so often not given to us?

 

Yes, on occasions there are ladies who try to get the message across to clients how bad it can be for us. We deal with the bad way more than you do (its a numbers game). And yes, some post threads about how bad it can be (and goodness when its bad, is it ever). And yes, at a board like CERB most who actually read our words are the good guys and we are preaching to the choir. I know I speak for so many ladies here at CERB, we so appreciate you. We so truly do.

 

So when ladies do bring up our issues with less than admirable clients we do so with at least a line or two of kindness and appreciation for the majority of clean and respectful clients.

 

I wish I didn't have to say that I am blessed with such amazingly lovely men as my clients. I wish it was just the norm. However, I haven't always been so lucky. Niether have many of my colleagues.

 

Thank you for reading my diatribe. I only wish to share my little bit of truth.

 

The bottom line is that being passive aggressive as a client and encouraging back channel talk is for me not in the CERB spirit. I am saddened and disappointed when I see this. I feel there must be a better way for people to engage in this endeavor many call a hobby.

 

Sniff sniff. Yes, seriously, this has made me quite sad.

 

Peace Out :-)

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I think, Hornet, you should have quit while you were ahead. ONE unsatisfactory experience and now you are painting us all with the same brush? I stand by my opinion that you would have gotten a lot further discussing this with the person involved and not airing your dirty laundry for all to see. Have a nice trip.

[Andee 220524]

No one is saying you should have to put with a messy or unappealing in-call, but if it bothered you that much, you should have left.

 

Sorry, I don't buy that, I'm a nice guy so I don't want to say anything to offend that person. To me that is someone who is not being honest and starting a thread like this is passive-aggressive.

 

What I believe you are really saying is, if I tell that person what I think, they may disagree with me, or get upset or angry and I don't want to deal with that. You are more worried about your uncomfortableness, not hers.

 

That's what I see.

[HaroldHecuba 100]

I'm with Meg on this one! You should confront that individual SP you were so deceived by - and yes - you can leave if you wish, post a bad review that MOD can determine is fit for a user-friendly site such as CERB, but you can't paint it so that all SP's are like the said one you experienced.

 

Meg, for example, demonstrates all the qualities and attributes in an SP further from what you've reported happened to you. Is it fair to say she is like that - as a matter of fact - I've seen her a number of times. And, not to be partial, but she provides clean linen - her venue is spotless and she cleans up very well. I'm sure there are others in the city or elsewhere just like her.

 

It's unfortunate that this happened to you, but please understand that you also have the right to leave as much as the SP can report a bad date. Think of it this way - the first meeting is on a transactional level - if you like what you've experienced and you would like to continue - then it can move to an ongoing thing.

[Daniel17 3616]

Hornet, I realize after that negative experience(s), it must have been frustrating, and I get where you are coming from, but I think you are just going about it totally the wrong way. In my opinion, it is not the right way because..

 

1) Imagine the girl who did whatever turned you off, read this thread. She would feel like you are calling her out in front of everyone in this thread. I doubt she does the things that turn you off on purpose, but that is just what she is comfortable with, if you don't like it, you don't need to visit her again. I think that's the best way to handle this situation.

 

2) By calling her out in public, you not only hurt it when the girl reads this, but also you're hindering the "public impression" of the SP's around here. I know the girls here all all awesome possum, but to the new person or lurker of CERB, they may not visit an SP or even get into this hobby because of this thread, because they're given the false impression that some or many SP's are like this.

 

3) I don't really think it's fair to say SP's might have an STD. You are using a very extreme example. You again are giving the false impression that the SP's around here are carrying STD's, when this could be farther from the truth. Most of the girls here get checked I'm positive on a regular basis. It's not fair to them at all, to be hindering their business like this.

 

It just seems as if you were frustrated and I get that, but I just think you are going about it totally the wrong way.

 

I realize sometimes reco's aren't always true. But to be honest, I have stopped using them. I learned that the hard way, but I didn't go about trashing the girls in the public forum.

 

I realized I can't change the way girls act, but I can change which girls I see. I hardly ever even look in the reco section now. If I see a girl, that I might be interested in, I just start talking to her via PM, e-mail, etc. I'm really picky in who I see (I only see one girl now, lol). But just by communicating over PM, e-mail, chat, etc., I get a feeling you can paint a mental picture of the girl. And by painting a mental picture, I don't mean looks, but just their attitudes, personality, and how you'll be treated in their location. And it's worked.

 

It seems like you want things to be better for you, which I get. But in reality it seems indirectly you are degrading the other SP's, which really wasn't the whole point I think you were trying to get, but sadly that is what this thread has done.

[Hornet 71]

Sorry ladies if I was too harsh with the STD example, which was just a hypocritical scenario. I am not generalizing things here.

 

But, since you all recognized that there might be some new SPs that are not as client-oriented as more experienced ladies here, there is a possibility of something like that happen. But, my intention was to make a point of how to better communicate things with the regulators of this forum, not to say that SPs here have STIs.

 

Sorry if I wasn't clear.

 

H.

 

Additional Comments:

I think, Hornet, you should have quit while you were ahead. ONE unsatisfactory experience and now you are painting us all with the same brush? I stand by my opinion that you would have gotten a lot further discussing this with the person involved and not airing your dirty laundry for all to see. Have a nice trip.

 

Definitely not painting you all with the same brush. :)

 

I was just honest about my confidence in the Reco's after a bad experience. Sorry but, that's reality, whether you like it or not.

 

I am sure other guys might think different, but I know for sure that there are quite few that share this feeling with me.

 

Cheers,

H

[roamingguy 300292]

 

But one of the simple but yet effective rules is: if you want to run a client-focused business, listen to your clients (current and potential) to make sure you are providing what they are looking for otherwise they might be leaving for greener pastures :)

 

Cheers,

H

 

I continue reading this thread, and frankly it's beginning to drag me down. I've been (hopefully) a contributing member of this board since Feb 2010, and I've had three less than stellar encounters (with non-CERB ladies)

But I don't focus on those encounters, it's the great encounters I've had with ladies who btw, I saw through CERB and the encounters I've scheduled, and am looking forward to.

I really don't know what your hoping to achieve. One bad experience, according to you, has caused you to start this thread. There are a lot of great ladies out there, a lot more than the poor ones. And I'm sure the ladies have had their share of bad encounters with some guys.

If you want to find a board to post your negative review, there are some out there (and I've been on a couple of them) but this board isn't it. And no matter what board you are on, any and all recos/reviews are subjective, one person's experience, that is all. According to you, one bad experience with a lady from CERB, move on. If it's bothering you this much, stop seeing ladies, or join another board. No matter who you see, no matter what board, it still is ultimately the equivalent of a blind date.

BTW I'd love to hear her side of the story. She probably doesn't even know of any problem or complaint, since likely you haven't shared with her, just the rest of us

My morning rant over

RG

[Hornet 71]

No one is saying you should have to put with a messy or unappealing in-call, but if it bothered you that much, you should have left.

 

Sorry, I don't buy that, I'm a nice guy so I don't want to say anything to offend that person. To me that is someone who is not being honest and starting a thread like this is passive-aggressive.

 

What I believe you are really saying is, if I tell that person what I think, they may disagree with me, or get upset or angry and I don't want to deal with that. You are more worried about your uncomfortableness, not hers.

 

That's what I see.

 

Yes, "I don't want to deal with that" is another reason I didn't want to argue with the SP. But there is that politeness component too, at least in my case. Some of us guys really care about lady's feelings, believe it or not. :)

[Reuben Sandwich 13841]

My confidence in this forum is only strengthened by the intelligent, heartfelt opinions and advice the ladies have expressed here.

Posted via Mobile Device

[mrrnice2 157005]

I have been following this thread virtually from its inception, and have stayed out of it because I tend to not comment on topics where emotions and personal feelings have been hurt or people may have written things that because of the way they were written can be taken in various contexts.

 

However, I do feel that I want to add my two cents worth.

 

For me I am beginning to believe that I have been incredibly lucky with the encounters that I have arranged. I have not met a lady that I did not like, and I have met only ladies who went out of their way to provide a wonderful personal experience that demonstrated their interest in me and showed their professional pride in what she does.

 

However, is that all luck? I do read a lot of forum contributions and far more than reccos, they are the things that cause me to make contacts.

 

So maybe there is luck, but then there is also thought and "work and research". Maybe that is the more important factor.

 

I LOVE the positivity that I generally find throughout Cerb postings. I find it awkward when negative connotations appear in public forums.

 

I have not ever had cause to want to do this, but, if and ever I do find myself in an encounter that is not going well, or that did not include what I have come to consider common sense practices on hygiene, safety, personal interaction, then I hope that I would have enough courtesy to speak to the individual personally rather than bring it through this sort of a forum.

 

I am and remain a committeed CERB member and have no interest at all in seeking out other review boards or avenues.

 

Success breeds success.

 

Well done to all of the members who have been so welcoming to me and to others for their contributions, their incredibly educational and informative pieces of writing, and for helping break all of those stereotypes that I came with only six months ago.

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

I tried to give you rep points RG but I gotta spread the love around!

I agree, if one bad experience was that traumatic then maybe this hobby isn't right for H.

To the rest of you; have fun!!!

[Hornet 71]

I continue reading this thread, and frankly it's beginning to drag me down. I've been (hopefully) a contributing member of this board since Feb 2010, and I've had three less than stellar encounters (with non-CERB ladies)

But I don't focus on those encounters, it's the great encounters I've had with ladies who btw, I saw through CERB and the encounters I've scheduled, and am looking forward to.

I really don't know what your hoping to achieve. One bad experience, according to you, has caused you to start this thread. There are a lot of great ladies out there, a lot more than the poor ones. And I'm sure the ladies have had their share of bad encounters with some guys.

If you want to find a board to post your negative review, there are some out there (and I've been on a couple of them) but this board isn't it. And no matter what board you are on, any and all recos/reviews are subjective, one person's experience, that is all. According to you, one bad experience with a lady from CERB, move on. If it's bothering you this much, stop seeing ladies, or join another board. No matter who you see, no matter what board, it still is ultimately the equivalent of a blind date.

BTW I'd love to hear her side of the story. She probably doesn't even know of any problem or complaint, since likely you haven't shared with her, just the rest of us

My morning rant over

RG

 

Thanks RG,

 

I am glad to hear that these things are rare.

 

The intent of my post was to share my experience and to find out how common the negative experiences were among the cerb community. You inputs are valuable.

 

H.

 

Additional Comments:

I have been following this thread virtually from its inception, and have stayed out of it because I tend to not comment on topics where emotions and personal feelings have been hurt or people may have written things that because of the way they were written can be taken in various contexts.

 

However, I do feel that I want to add my two cents worth.

 

For me I am beginning to believe that I have been incredibly lucky with the encounters that I have arranged. I have not met a lady that I did not like, and I have met only ladies who went out of their way to provide a wonderful personal experience that demonstrated their interest in me and showed their professional pride in what she does.

 

However, is that all luck? I do read a lot of forum contributions and far more than reccos, they are the things that cause me to make contacts.

 

So maybe there is luck, but then there is also thought and "work and research". Maybe that is the more important factor.

 

I LOVE the positivity that I generally find throughout Cerb postings. I find it awkward when negative connotations appear in public forums.

 

I have not ever had cause to want to do this, but, if and ever I do find myself in an encounter that is not going well, or that did not include what I have come to consider common sense practices on hygiene, safety, personal interaction, then I hope that I would have enough courtesy to speak to the individual personally rather than bring it through this sort of a forum.

 

I am and remain a committeed CERB member and have no interest at all in seeking out other review boards or avenues.

 

Success breeds success.

 

Well done to all of the members who have been so welcoming to me and to others for their contributions, their incredibly educational and informative pieces of writing, and for helping break all of those stereotypes that I came with only six months ago.

 

Thank you. Very informative post.

 

H.

[Guest C*****tte]

bewlayb - your post says more sufficiently what I could not.

 

If the issue is loss of faith in recommendations then yes the problems lies there and not in the ladies they are about. We do not write recommendations for ourselves after all. Those are our ads. ;-)

 

And you Felix and Oscar question, well, it just made me smile. This thread is a bit tense and that was the perfect combination of levity and reason.

 

Merci!!

[Hornet 71]

Two important points to make about this comment:

 

First, if you're finding far-fetched or untrue recommendations on this boards, then your issue should be with the clients writing them, not the ladies being implicated.

 

Second, you need to consider your own tolerance for things being out of place. Are you a Felix or are you an Oscar? Moreover, as I demonstrated earlier, one person's negative may actually be another person's positive (e.g. PWDO)

 

Personally, I don't think the full-disclosure balanced-review forums offer you any greater assurance of a "perfect" SP experience. Just as people here can overstate the positive and must suppress the negative, people "there" (on the other forums) can exaggerate the negative and ignore the positive.

 

The best advice I have to offer you is do your research from a variety of sources, recognize that not everyone sees things the same way as you do, try to get to know the lady a little bit online beforehand (this is a great place to do that), and most importantly, take responsibility for your companion choices and your satisfaction with the encounter.

 

That's it for me.

As the lady before me said "Peace Out"

 

Thank you. I am glad we are back to the original topic.

Much appreciated !

 

H.

 

Additional Comments:

bewlayb - your post says more sufficiently what I could not.

 

If the issue is loss of faith in recommendations then yes the problems lies there and not in the ladies they are about. We do not write recommendations for ourselves after all. Those are our ads. ;-)

 

And you Felix and Oscar question, well, it just made me smile. This thread is a bit tense and that was the perfect combination of levity and reason.

 

Merci!!

 

Agree with you.

I never said that the ladies are responsible for the Reco's.

I just mentioned that if a mod knew about some SPs with some really bad reco's, he might be able to intervene and maybe lock her account for the sake of forum's reputation.

 

But again, this was a side note, just a food for though.

 

I would appreciate if we can go back to the original topic and find out whether other clients have experienced many unpleasant encounters with SPs from this forum. So far, it seems very few of them did which I am glad to hear. :)

 

H.

[BownChickaBown 4829]

In my experience over the years here on CERB, there's as much B&S here as anywhere.

 

Bought and paid for 'recos' devalue any real recos. people may write.

 

My example is that of a 2-faced liar taking money for video services and never delivering on the videos despite her repeatedly saying she would after coming back to Ottawa several times since - yet anyone says anything about such things and they are 'not a good CERB community member', as there are cliques here on CERB who do not like being exposed for playing by a different set of rules that others follow.

 

Regardless, people who act like this degrade the whole industry for everyone, and if others would rather just turn a blind eye to this type of behaviour for the sake of 'that's not nice to say on CERB the bad things people do', rather than learn the Truth - then, in my opinion, it does a disservice to us all, and very unfortunate.

 

It does not give people confidence to much anyone says here sometimes when such protection and denial happens - ex: the thread about the guy and girl trying to profit off the plight of Aboriginal people by trying to fanaggle millions in water contracts, where many people whined about how it makes their industry look bad to talk about such evil, while ignoring the fact some Aboriginal groups live in 3rd World conditions due to such selfish greed from people like Carson and his floozie. Oh, but as long as the industry looks good, who cares about safe drinking for Canadians eh?

 

So my rhetorical question is: Since when did being honest become so bad? The truth shall set people free!

 

Thanks for the rant :) ...and of course, always play safe!

[Hornet 71]

Thanks again for sharing and I hope there are no hard feelings. :smile:

 

We are all different, and sharing different points of view should be fun as we can all learn from others!

 

I love you ladies all! :smile: and I hope you will not ignore my service request in the future because of this post. :)

 

It's my boarding time ....

 

Cheers,

H.

 

Additional Comments:

In my experience over the years here on CERB, there's as much B&S here as anywhere.

 

Bought and paid for 'recos' devalue any real recos. people may write.

 

My example is that of a 2-faced liar taking money for video services and never delivering on the videos despite her repeatedly saying she would after coming back to Ottawa several times since - yet anyone says anything about such things and they are 'not a good CERB community member', as there are cliques here on CERB who do not like being exposed for playing by a different set of rules that others follow.

 

Regardless, people who act like this degrade the whole industry for everyone, and if others would rather just turn a blind eye to this type of behaviour for the sake of 'that's not nice to say on CERB the bad things people do', rather than learn the Truth - then, in my opinion, it does a disservice to us all, and very unfortunate.

 

It does not give people confidence to much anyone says here sometimes when such protection and denial happens - ex: the thread about the guy and girl trying to profit off the plight of Aboriginal people by trying to fanaggle millions in water contracts, where many people whined about how it makes their industry look bad to talk about such evil, while ignoring the fact some Aboriginal groups live in 3rd World conditions due to such selfish greed from people like Carson and his floozie. Oh, but as long as the industry looks good, who cares about safe drinking for Canadians eh?

 

So my rhetorical question is: Since when did being honest become so bad? The truth shall set people free!

 

Thanks for the rant :) ...and of course, always play safe!

 

I couldn't agree with you more BCB!

 

Cheers,

H

[roamingguy 300292]

 

I would appreciate if we can go back to the original topic and find out whether other clients have experienced many unpleasant encounters with SPs from this forum. So far, it seems very few of them did which I am glad to hear. :)

 

H.

 

You know, seeing how this thread is dragging down, how about we don't go back to the original topic at all. Why are you so hell bent on finding out about unpleasant encounters (in yours or someone else's opinion) with SP's from this forum. Your last line (quoted above) should answer your query, very few of them did. Let it go, move on

RG

[Meg O'Ryan 266444]

Exactly...what is the point???? Does complaining make things any better? I don't think so but then again I am the epitomy of an optimist! Wish I knew more people like me and happy that I know alot of people like me!