funny encounters

[BenDover 301]

this episode still lives in my head from about 15 yrs ago 

sucked then but now it’s funny 

i had a lyla  regular to my condo in bedford for outcall ,  she has been banned on here for years for having arguments and breaking rules 

maybe you remember her , she still appears on tryst and has been 48 for like 10 years 😆

she arrives , short blonde straight hair and dresses like a hot real estate agent , nice 

i hand the envelope and she proceeds to open in and count it bill by bill in front of me , like i’m a crack dealer 

i listen to her opinions for half hour , then it’s business , she hands me her pants and says hang these up and don’t wrinkle them, preferably a wood hanger 

during the act i hear ‘ why are you touching my hair , don’t do that ‘. and. ‘ why are you looking in my eyes ‘ 

i say can i eat you , she says you better be fucking good at it , and it’s an extra 100 or give me a good review ( i never did 😂)

the whole thing was so demanding and lacklustre 

if you’re going to PM me for the name , the initials are CC 

humor = tragedy + time 😬

[OldandNerdy 1327]

Now that's the real girlfriend experience

[rustbot 398]

haha, yes, I remember her. I never met her myself but it was her constant fighting with people on here that kept me away. Your description is exactly how I imagined she'd be.

As for a funny encounter, about 12 or so years ago there was an agency out of Montreal called MGF, that would quite consistently have someone visiting. They were a really great and reliable group with many really sexy ladies. 

There was this one girl who went by the name of Anna, who was a favourite that I met with several times, as we clicked really well together. Not just because she was extremely beautiful, but she was also very funny in a really oddball sort of way. The first time I met her, I went in for a shower, and as I was doing my thing, I suddenly realized that she was standing just outside the doorway, completely undressed, and staring at me through the mirror on the wall. Her eyes wide and unblinking with her mouth completely straight, like she was an android. I was really caught off guard but I burst into laughter because she looked so goofy. She then proceeded to laugh while she shuffled into the room and hopped in the shower. What a strange way for her to make a first impression... I knew very quickly she was going to be fun.

[Harleyboy64 277]

🤣 

[redmana2 2756]

I'll try and not drag this story out too long... but it will be. I had this one favourite girl a very long while back. She was pretty popular on CERB for a while but then ran into some legal problems which got her outed online so I'll refrain even mentioning initials and please don't PM. I always liked her because although she wasn't GFE/PSE and she'd never try to fake that kind of performance, she just took her job seriously and genuinely wanted to follow through and make sure I was every-drop satisfied. She disappeared after her legal problems but then a couple years later I saw an ad that suspiciously sounded and looked like her. I asked her directly if she was who I thought and she responded cryptically. I decided to book an hour and risk it and showed up on time but spent 45 minutes texting in the parking lot. We figured out she mixed up the times and then she invited me in immediately. She answered the door with a really nervous look on her face but broke into a huge smile when she recognized me - every date with her started this way but she seem extra relieved.

She sits me on the coach (this is her home, an old apartment in Dartmouth) and proceeds to catch up by telling me all about her life and hardships in the past couple of years. Tells me all about the legal problems and her side of the story. She had a friendly 12 week old kitten crawling all over us and we side tracked about that for a while. We're like at least 30 minutes into the date now. Then back to the legal problems and she tells me she's under house arrest/probation and getting treatment for methadone addiction. That's when I clued in that she's high as a kite and just rambling on. I kinda wanted to jet at that point, but she just seemed so genuinely happy to have someone to talk to. Another half hour goes by and I finally find an opening to suggest that move the date back to her bedroom. She goes silent, gets a very confused look on her face and finally says "What?". So I say,  "...Uhh... you know... the date... did you want to... like... go to the bedroom and do the date?" Another long pause until she remember why I'm there, then a big bright smile and she slaps my leg and says "Yeah! lets go to the bedroom!"

We finally start getting down to business, and there's a knock on the door. At the time this was terrifying, but very comical in retrospect. She just wanted them to go away and they just didn't understand her urgency. So she whispers/argues with this person for 10 or 15 minutes.  She comes back and we restart. I put a condom on and we get closer and that's when we hear the condom break. We didn't get *that* close yet, no penetration, but as a precaution we stopped and decided to wash up. Very small bathroom, so one at a time. I went first, then she washed up while I went to the bedroom, She closed the door behind her and then moments later she was struggling to open the door. She had locked herself in and couldn't get out. I panicked and very seriously considered just running away at that point. 10 or 15 minutes later we freed her from the bathroom. 

Finally we moved back to the bedroom and got some business finished. I'm fond of MSOG during a date and we had agreed to that, but I honestly just wanted to get out after the first shot. Instead she takes me by the hand, brings me back to the bed, grabs the kitten, grabs a stack of journals, and starts cuddling. These books were her drawings and poetry and she wanted to show and read all of it to me. Another hour goes by. I'm an introvert and I honestly just couldn't politely think of a way to extract myself from this situation. She finished going through one of the books and I then say to her, "Well, I don't want to be inconsiderate and take up your whole day. Would you like to finish up the date?" She gives me a long awkward silence and a confused blank stare and finally says, "What?" So I respond, "...Ummm... you know... the date? Can we... I mean... do you want to do the second shot?" Long pause then she finally remembers, "Oh yeah! The second shot! Let's go!" Her situational awareness had clearly checked out a while ago. I suit up and she climbed on top of me and she was just a bit more passionate than past encounters. Half way through she scares the absolute hell out of me one last time for good measure when she slaps both palms on my chest viciously hard then points at me with both index fingers while yelling "I just came!" which I'm sure at least a dozen neighbors in the building must have heard during their dinner hour. 

I made a quick exit after that. I was there nearly 4 hours. Have not seen her advertise since but sincerely hope she and the poor cat have had a good life. 

[MsManda 25784]

So you didn't know how to excuse yourself from a girl who was completely unaware of the situation, with so many red flags, a safety issue, so you just overstayed and still made sure to get your second shot in? 

And then clown her here for it years later.. Ok

 

This is so gross 

 

Wtf has lyla turned into

[redmana2 2756]

32 minutes ago, MsManda said:

Wtf has lyla turned into

 

Yeah, I'm all broken up over all those times I repeatedly asked her to verbal confirm her ongoing consent to have intercourse with a long time customer who she was thrilled to see. And yes, the second shot was absolutely magnificent. Just like the old days, she stayed engaged and made sure the job was finished. 

Unlike someone I remember. 

[MikeyInHalifax 323]

Awwww shit... Here we go again...

[Coco1 89]

2 hours ago, MsManda said:

So you didn't know how to excuse yourself from a girl who was completely unaware of the situation, with so many red flags, a safety issue, so you just overstayed and still made sure to get your second shot in? 

And then clown her here for it years later.. Ok

 

This is so gross 

 

Wtf has lyla turned into

I really wish gals whose business has slowed up and just comment on here as a marketing tool would just let up and stop commenting. 

[MsManda 25784]

Fully booked bb, don't worry 😁 

I don't generally market here anymore 

 

This behaviour here lately is clearly not my kind of client 😂