JuliasUndies 7288 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 (edited) There are always great posts about how nice the ladies are in this industry. We've been called many things such as sweet and kind, loving and sincere. We've been told by many how attractive our brains can be, how healthy we are, beautiful and charismatic, alluring. Lately, there has been some talk of feelings for the ladies. Can we do what we do and feel nothing? Can you come to us and feel nothing? The answer is no. We all have feelings, feelings about one another we touch and feel. Heck, I find I can develop feelings for people I've never even met. When it comes to true, honest feelings that develop, I want to know if the connection is there and both of you know it, would you consider dating an SP? If love is love would you take a chance on love with us? Why? Why not? I know that here we are seen as woman, not objects and we are very respected as we respect you as well, but when it comes down to it... Are we different? Could you be with a girl that is with other men without you? Could you bring her to work functions knowing that she may know your boss or if you had children..your child's friends dads? On the upside, you would be with a woman that knows plenty about men, your needs and how to fulfill them, loves sex and is very playful, and all those things that has been said about us. Please share your thoughts Edited October 25, 2011 by JuliasUndies 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scribbles 6031 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 Excellent question. Somebody asked me this recently, and it's had me thinking. For the moment, my short answer is "I don't know". That sounds like a cop out, but it isn't. I really just don't know because I have never been placed in the circumstance where I would need to find out. Not being in the situation, it's a lot easier to see things rationally, and relationships are never strictly rational. I know that I don't think less of anyone for their chosen profession. I also know that I am somewhat insecure about competition from other men, though I have never been a jealous individual. I think the only question I would have about whether I could handle such a relationship would have strictly to do with a struggle to decide if I can handle polyamory, not whether I can accept that this is how you make a living. But, until I'm faced with the prospect, I don't know if I can really know. One foot in front of the other, feel it out and see whether you are comfortable with it or not, I guess. Sent from my HTC EVO 3D X515a using Tapatalk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest ma***sf***x Report post Posted October 25, 2011 I would have to say no,as I said before in another topic a SP who I use to see alot 2 years ago started to have feelings for me so I had to stop seeing her she was a great person who helped me get though my painful breakup with my girlfriend but I couldn't handle it if she saw other men I still feel bad to this day for doing that to her but I didn't have a choice am I a bad person? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 A very interesting question Julia! This one is merits some serious thought and I'm not sure I know right now. The question made me think of a John Prine song that partly ansers it: Like Scribbles says the polyamorous thing is a challenge! J. p.s. could we start out meeting for a coffee....? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrgreen760 37785 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 "Would you date me?" Sure, you seem like a nice woman. If I were single, why not? Peace MG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 Scribbles, your not alone, I don't know either. I'm going to say no...but entirely for another reason. I've been through the dating game, including breaking up with my fiancé (long story short, she got pregnant by another man, but still wanted us to get married) and a nasty break up with a girlfriend who then stalked me...but I digress For me, participating in this lifestyle is my substitute for dating. Has all the pluses of seeing woman, without the relationship strings attached. With very few exceptions, I like the ladies I meet, and most I will see again It is my once a month escape to see a lady again that I like, or a lady I'd like to meet. For me, if I was involved in a serious relationship, and this is just me, it would have to be exclusive and monogamous. First, and this is more rhetorical thinking outloud, is it fair to ask the lady to give up being an escort because we are now in a relationship? Likewise, I truly do enjoy seeing escorts, more than I imagined I would when I first thought about it. Could I give up seeing ladies if I got involved in a relationship, would I be able to make that sacrifice? All of this is said with the caveat never say never. But I prefer the no strings uncomplicated world of seeing escorts. And I can't see complicating it by getting involved in a relationship But one final thing to add, there are no ladies I've seen that I would be embarrassed or ashamed if seen with them in public. In that aspect, I do not see escorts as different than other ladies, nor do I see them as not deserving of a loving relationship. But for me, at this point in time, I'm not looking for a relationship, whether with an SP or a lady outside of this lifestyle. But had I started this lifestyle ten-fifteen years ago, my answer could very well have been different A long winded rambling RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 Julia, I soooo would! Oops guess you meant this for the guys :) 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JuliasUndies 7288 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 A very interesting question Julia! This one is merits some serious thought and I'm not sure I know right now. The question made me think of a John Prine song that partly ansers it: Like Scribbles says the polyamorous thing is a challenge! J. p.s. could we start out meeting for a coffee....? And..If she gave up what she did to be with you? I like the song! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roamingguy 300292 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 Just a question out there for the ladies. If the guy was comfortable with you continuing as a escort if you got involved in a relationship, would you be equally comfortable with the guy continuing to see escorts if in a relationship with you. Just asking a question, thats all RG Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meg O'Ryan 266444 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 Just a question out there for the ladies. If the guy was comfortable with you continuing as a escort if you got involved in a relationship, would you be equally comfortable with the guy continuing to see escorts if in a relationship with you.Just asking a question, thats all RG Yes sir....especially if he invited me along :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wendigo 687 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 Good question! For me the answer is no, when I'm in a relationship I don't even think about being with anyone else, and I would want that to be mutual. The hobby is my way of taking care of certain needs when I'm not in a relationship. As for the second question, I'd say yes. If a lady is willing to commit to an exclusive relationship, her past wouldn't matter. Just my opinion! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waterat 20911 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 And..If she gave up what she did to be with you? I like the song! ...If she gave up what she did to be with me (Did I meet her through the hobby? - I'm assuming so since you mentioned the many positive comments made by gents here in the OP) - then yes and that would be the end of hobbying for me. As I've already offered: It's not what you do for a living, it's what you do with your living! Developing a relationship takes alot of confidence: "Love and Truth, people, you can find anywhere, any place and time but you can say so long once confidence is gone.... J Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scribbles 6031 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 *sigh* I'm finding myself conflicted now; Meg and Julia.... Offers like that from women like them don't exist in my reality. ;) Sent from my HTC EVO 3D X515a using Tapatalk 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reddog01 30280 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 Short answer is no. If I answered yes, I would have to be ready to give up my present situation, my life as I know it - and I am not. I understand there exists a hypocrisy, a pretence and a double-standard on my side and in some eyes it ain't pretty. In any event if I was to give up what I have now to date you, it would have to be just you and I (unless we were both just playing the field and this was understood by the both of us - Not sure about this part though). This is the sheer hypocrisy part of it - it does trouble me some.....life is complex, especially when we can begin to understand our mortality. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JuliasUndies 7288 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 Just a question out there for the ladies. If the guy was comfortable with you continuing as a escort if you got involved in a relationship, would you be equally comfortable with the guy continuing to see escorts if in a relationship with you.Just asking a question, thats all RG Nope, not without me. For me Sex isn't just sex when it comes to two people in love/in a relationship. If it were my job, that's what I do (unless I was asked to stop) I'd ask that I was accepted "as is". I think I would feel weird kinda thinking "why would he need/want anyone else, I thought I was the best, at least that's what you told me last night" :) But if you wanted to visit say.. a dominatrix for that kink factor or if you were bisexual, things I couldn't provide you with then yes, I wouldn't stand in the way of your sexual explorations as long as it wasn't a big secret. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Fantasy 144625 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 Just a question out there for the ladies. If the guy was comfortable with you continuing as a escort if you got involved in a relationship, would you be equally comfortable with the guy continuing to see escorts if in a relationship with you.Just asking a question, thats all RG I probably would still date him. It isn't fair for him that I ask him to stop seeing SP if I still see clients, but I would like to know when he see one...not who and the exact time, but just knowing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rickkkm 525 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 you're not different; you do something different for a living... I was asked that before actually and I said if ther is love then love conquers all.....in terms of discretion, I think the SP would use that when faced with a public function; yoiu would have as a guy just roll with the flow.... if she loves you, she will only love you......the rest is all business!! 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loopie 15358 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 When I go to see an SP, I feel I am paying for a fantasy and don't even think of trying to push that fantasy into reality. I would never try to date an SP who I saw as an SP. I would feel disrespectful and like I was taking advantage of her professionalism if I tried to push things in that direction. If she were interested in me that way she would have to be incredibly explicit because I would just assume it was part of the fantasy for which I pay. If I met a woman some other way and then she revealed to me that this is what she does for a living it would be somewhat surprising, but I could live with it. I'm not a physically possessive type, in fact, I've encouraged past sweethearts of mine to have sex with other men. So it's fine. However, I really doubt any of this would ever happen. Normal women aren't very interested in me, so the odds of one of these beautiful, bright, confident, cheerful, well-rounded, open-minded SPs actually choosing me out of all the men they have access to; well, that just seems beyond unlikely. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Code Blue 3585 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 (edited) I think this represent the "flip side" of the reasons why an SP is providing the services she does, combined with why the customer is seeking them out in the first place. Thus the answer to your question cannot be a generalised one, but rather highly contextual. As with all relationships, the "devil" will be in the details: no-one has an exact fit with another individual, but a willingness to adapt to some degree to make a "good fit" is essential. Neither party changing is really a recipe for the status quo ante and thus in my humble view would preclude most business relationships turning into a permanent social compact. It would not preclude "dating" as I would define it, but even that would need an acknowledgement that "social rates" for time were suspended by mutual agreement. Then to where else do the boundaries of the "professional relationship" shift? Few would get to that "social dating" stage if they were not comfortable in each others company and then it all becomes a quicksand unless there is truly open communication in advance: the issues of why the individuals were where they were, as well as where they saw themselves going have to be addressed. Rambly, but it is not an area I believe lends itself to superficial examination. Back to the wine..... CB Edited October 25, 2011 by Code Blue damn word guessing spellchecker!! it's illiterate!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roger dodger 2160 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 I have in the past dated dancers, ma's, and sp's. Even though when i started dating them, i thought i was ok with it, but it didn't last because i became more and more uncomfortable with them still working. I would defenitely date someone now, but to be honest, she would have to quit the industry. I would not be upset or jealous about her past, as everyone has a past of some sort, so who am i to judge. The past is the past, so to me in a relationship, that is how i would want it. I would never want to talk about that part of our past. But i have to admit that when i was dating ladies in the industry, the sex was absolutely amazing, as these ladies really know how to make a man happy, and really like to have variety. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TGirl-Kay 7484 Report post Posted October 25, 2011 My partner has no problem with my being a sex worker or haveing casual sex with people on the side for fun. Where we have to sit down and talk is when I form a new loveing intimate relationship with new people. It becomes a matter of the amount of time I have to share and still give her all that she needs from me. I'd date you, I'd still work as an SP, I'd probably want to see other people as well and it would be fine with me if you did too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crillin 54 Report post Posted October 26, 2011 Nope! Too many other available women to date. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bewlayb 7480 Report post Posted October 26, 2011 I would have no problem getting into a serious relationship with a former SP. I'm fundamentally a monogamous kind of guy; so, if I were to start a relationship with a provider, she would have to quit the biz... at least for awhile. :wink: Eventually, as most relationships go, the passion will cool a bit, we'll each get restless and we'll both crave more excitement. At which time, she could start working again (and help pay for my deluxe sports packages), while I start seeing SPs again between games. And, if Julia were my girl, she could join me whenever I book with Meg (my treat). That would be fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kubrickfan 12836 Report post Posted October 26, 2011 This is one of the most interesting questions I have seen in quite a while on cerb. Its like an onion when you peel it back, there are more and more issues to consider. My answer is yes, but it would have to be for love and mutual interests, not sex per se. I have no idea how I would handle the issue of my partner continuing to have physical relationships with others, but if we are in love, I'd suspect we would find a way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icebreaker 3938 Report post Posted October 26, 2011 (edited) I could definitely see myself dating a former SP - although that honor has yet to be bestowed upon me :-) I've dated dancers in the past who were working at the time and didn't have issues with her job. I would never rule out dating a working SP (never say never) but it would depend on the chemistry and circumstances. There would have to be a high level of honesty and communication. In terms of relationships my preference is exclusive. Some of my "exclusive" relationships never had that level of honesty by my exes (my involuntary participation in polyamourous relation - aka I've been cheated on in the past). Having said that I may be more open to dating a working SP now than in the past if everything was honestly communicated up front. Best case scenario is that we would be working towards her retirement. Posted via Mobile Device Edited October 26, 2011 by Icebreaker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
