Would you date me?

[thedriver 6179]

It is a good question Julia, but the answer is complicated at least for me. If I was 15 to 20 years younger I would say yes I would date you but our relationship would have to be open. I would not feel posesive and make you quit but I would want to be free to persue new sexual adventures with other women. To be able to feel like a man I would want to feel like I was getting some action on the side just like you. I know for you it would be your buisness and not a personal desire for multiple partners but I would still feel like you were getting more action and you would have the uper hand so to speak. I would just want a level playing field.

 

Today I would say no. Not because of the work you do or the person you are but rather because of my self confidence that has eroded away from life experiences that have chipped away at it over the last 10 years. I would always be thinking that once you get to know me you would loose interest or that in your line of work you would find someone better.

 

Of course starting a relationship is not likely to happen as I have given up on dating years ago so meeting outside of hobying could not happen. If we were to get to know each other as client/sp and you showed some kind of interest in dating I would ignor it thinking that I was just fantasizing. Even if you asked me to go for coffee or a drink I would say no thinking that I simply could not afford paying for your social time.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[KaceyKatzegeist 152]

I'm a polyamorous person to begin with, so one way or another, I would be having sex with other people. I'd need someone I was in a relationship with to realize that I love people. I honestly do, in the emotional sense. I am attached to everyone I am with to some extent.

 

Pfft, it's hard to describe, especially without vocal inflections, how I feel about things.

 

So either way, I would hope that they'd realize this is how I'm making my money and that money or not, I'd be sleeping with other people.

[Surf_Nazis_Must_Die 8958]

Well, I'm here to throw another log onto the "it's complicated" fire ;)

 

As far as falling for someone goes, her line of work would be irrelevant. I fall in love with the woman, not the occupation.

 

That being said, I don't think I would ever have the guts to act on my feelings, even if they were mutually shared between her and I. Mostly because i'm not polyamorous and I would never ask a sp to quit. I've got no right to meddle in someone else's livelihood.

 

However,

if a perfect situation arose where myself and a sp had mutually fallen for each other, and she was ready to leave the business, I wouldn't hesitate for a second! Her former profession would not bother me, and I would be honored to share a life, both private, and public with the women I had fallen for.

[Ethernaut 100]

Good of you to ask the question. I believe many cerbites have this question on their mind. So why not discuss it. Would I date an sp? I have and I would do it again. Would I date any sp? No, of course not. It is simple I would have to know the sp and want to spend time with that person. A couple of sps have asked me for a date. These were genuine requests and I was humbled/flattered. Honestly I think they just wanted to share some personal time with the client, who is now in a different context. I am the same. Occassionaly I will ask an sp for a date, and when I do it is a genuine request.

 

Perhaps there should be a discussion about dating? Maybe the English language does not have the right word for two people getting together to just enjoy time together. When we were children this was called playing. Sometime between childhood and growing up playing lost its meaning.

[JuliasUndies 7288]

Great responses everyone!!

On my side of the fence.. Many of you already know I married a client. Several issues have come up in our relationship that makes me feel uncomfortable.

My husband, being the honest man that he is...When asked what I do he told them I was a masseuse and they knew what kind of masseuse(I guess men just know these things) A few of his friends and co workers advised him to break it off and that I was using him for money-pressure to dissolve our relationship- At work functions, the wives seem to have a preconception about me that because of my job and gave me the cold shoulder, like I must be a hoochie..One even yelled at me because I told her husband that he makes a good steak and accused me of hitting on him as if I were recruiting new clients geesh!

"Can't you see what she's doing"? She yelled!

I feel isolated at times times because I don't attend such things anymore.

My husband lost a few friends because of what I do, but that's probably a blessing in disguise because a true friend wouldn't go out their way to try to make your life miserable..Once it felt like I was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman..One of his co-workers even approached me for services and when I denied him he got all freaky on me.

Okay so these may be isolated events and most likely and hopefully not the norm for everyone..But it makes me want to pack up and leave the city, leave my job and roots behind me to love each other in peace without judgement or preconceptions..leave the worry and stigma behind us. love is love.A person is a person..It's not what you do, it's who you are.

[shymale 10234]

i would date an sp. if you have feelings for someone you how it to yourself to try.

[spud271 47779]

I will repeat what I have said many times in the past, as we keep bringing this subject matter up every few months. I have no issues with dating a SP, MA or Porn Star. It's the person and not the profession that attracts me.

[KaceyKatzegeist 152]

Good gods, Julia. I can't believe that woman screamed at you.

 

And frankly, even if you WERE recruiting her husband, as she thought, it's HIS choice to call you and cheat. :/ I hate how women have a tendency to blame the other woman 99% of the time and forget the man is the one in the end who chose to actively move on something he knew was wrong.

[castle 38816]

What a great thread! And a tough question! Like some have said I don't know what I would do or expect. I think I would prefer she leave the profession behind...but would I stop seeing her if she didn't? I can't answer that. I know that I don't like to share my girlfriends....that may sound possessive but there it is. Ok so maybe I wouldn't be sharing her emotional being....but her physical self would be. And that would bother me. As some threads here have mentioned it's near impossible to do this job and cut off all emotions. And I think that's what would bother me. I would stop seeing SP's if I was dating her. In fact I only hobby while I'm single. That's a strict rule of mine. So I would probably expect no less from her.

 

Then again if there's one thing in life I've learned in life it's to never say never. You only go around once and would it be worth it to pass up something great because of pride?

 

So I guess there's two sides of the coin. And I really couldn't tell you which side I would pick until the coin fell.

Posted via Mobile Device

[qwertyaccount 15793]

When it comes to true, honest feelings that develop, I want to know if the connection is there and both of you know it, would you consider dating an SP?

 

That's an easy question and a hard one at the same time.

 

It's easy to blurt out a yes or no, when speaking hypothetically, and it's hard to think things though and come up with what my true reaction would be.

 

At the end, my answer has to be I don't know and won't know until asked genuinely.

[Just Dave 123]

I think that I am like a lot of the other guys that have already responded. I wouldn't have a problem at all with dating someone who was an SP if things went that way, but don't think that I could do it if she was still active.

 

I am only doing this right now because I am single, but if I do meet someone I would not see anyone else while we are together and would expect the same of anyone that I was with. I realize that with someone who works as an SP that is easier said than done and I could never ask someone to change who they are for me, so I don't think that it would ever happen.

[roamingguy 300291]

Great responses everyone!!

On my side of the fence.. Many of you already know I married a client. Several issues have come up in our relationship that makes me feel uncomfortable.

My husband, being the honest man that he is...When asked what I do he told them I was a masseuse and they knew what kind of masseuse(I guess men just know these things) A few of his friends and co workers advised him to break it off and that I was using him for money-pressure to dissolve our relationship- At work functions, the wives seem to have a preconception about me that because of my job and gave me the cold shoulder, like I must be a hoochie..One even yelled at me because I told her husband that he makes a good steak and accused me of hitting on him as if I were recruiting new clients geesh!

"Can't you see what she's doing"? She yelled!

I feel isolated at times times because I don't attend such things anymore.

My husband lost a few friends because of what I do, but that's probably a blessing in disguise because a true friend wouldn't go out their way to try to make your life miserable..Once it felt like I was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman..One of his co-workers even approached me for services and when I denied him he got all freaky on me.

Okay so these may be isolated events and most likely and hopefully not the norm for everyone..But it makes me want to pack up and leave the city, leave my job and roots behind me to love each other in peace without judgement or preconceptions..leave the worry and stigma behind us. love is love.A person is a person..It's not what you do, it's who you are.

 

Sorry to hear that. I've said it many times before, and will say it again, there is no lady that I've seen that I would be ashamed of being seen in public with her. As an extension of that, under the category never say never, if I met an SP and we did in fact fall in love, and either lived CL or married, well if any friends made comments, they wouldn't be friends any more. But while I have a lot of acquaintances I have very few truefriends. My guess, my friends would be very happy for me if I found someone, and not judgemental. As for family, well I've put up with my sister in law LOL, as has the rest of the family, trust me, if I got hooked up they would be happy for me, well except my brother, he'd be envious

A rambling for whatever it's worth

RG

[Cato 160314]

I have been fortunate to meet some of the most amazing, gorgeous, interesting, smart women through my cerb-related activities, and I've often considered what it would be like to become closer to them.

So my answer is yes. The question is whether they'd have me :)

[Code Blue 3585]

"My husband lost a few friends because of what I do, but that's probably a blessing in disguise because a true friend wouldn't go out their way to try to make your life miserable.."

 

True enough!

 

If you and your man are happy, then don't let them get to you. Easy to say and less easy to do I grant.

 

CB

[Andee 220524]

Just a question out there for the ladies. If the guy was comfortable with you continuing as a escort if you got involved in a relationship, would you be equally comfortable with the guy continuing to see escorts if in a relationship with you.

Just asking a question, thats all

RG

 

Yep! As long as I knew about it.

[IvyBlyss 713]

Just a question out there for the ladies. If the guy was comfortable with you continuing as a escort if you got involved in a relationship, would you be equally comfortable with the guy continuing to see escorts if in a relationship with you.

Just asking a question, thats all

RG

Well I should hope so , otherwise imho it'd be double standards ....

[Winnipegcub 21293]

Great question and timing for me. I personally struggle with the feelings developed for the amazing women I've met. I've learned that seeing a lady in this industry is much more than sex. I know we all know that and for many of us it can be a struggle. I guess I could try and contain my feelings but frankly that wouldn't be me and I would be restraining something I really want and need. I've re-learned over the past few years what truly caring feels like. It took a long time for me to regain that and I don't want to lose it again.

 

So to your question - ABSOLUTELY I could date and fall in love with a woman in the industry. I'm a pretty accepting person and don't judge people on their past. And certainly some of the best people I've met - are in the business. I am more about 'who you are as a woman today - and what are your dreams for the future that I might be a part of'. Now the truth and downside is that I'm not sure I could handle it going forward. I'm a bit of a traditionalist and love the feeling of being deeply in love and dedicated to one person. So if it ever happened it would have to come with me stop seeing escorts/MPs and her stop working in thhe industry. This would certainly require long and open conversations as I would hate to see jealousy or resentment surface by either partner down the road.

 

My heartfelt views.

Cub

Posted via Mobile Device

[Guest C***ry Di+**]

In my experience as long as there is honesty and respect from both partners it can totally work. I find it important to make sure he is able to come to me at anytime to discuss his feelings and we try to find a resolution that makes us both happy. Some small things I have found helpful are keeping one thing for each other alone. Whatever sexual act it may be is not important, but something where he knows he is special and it is just for him. As well, making sure you dress up and have the same eager happy attitude towards him that you do towards others. Lol, if everyone else gets you in fishnets and heels and he only gets sweats he will become a bit resentful :) And finally when it comes down to it the right man will love you for who you are, and if this is something that makes you happy and fulfilled like it does for me, he will understand and it will be a positive not a negative. After all, who knows how to please a man better than we do?

[MrGump 632]

Pretty big conversation for my first post,but here it goes.

 

I'm pretty new to the hobby,but i've been around long enough to understand some of the difficulties that could happen from letting feelings develop.

I don't know what happened,but one day/week/month after numerous other perfectly professional visits,feelings happened for me.There was always some chemistry.We exchanged texts,laughs and generally had a great time when we were together.

I suppose I let the fantasy get out of hand and wigged out a bit when i confessed my feelings.She was a pro with me and gently explained she was'nt interested in a serious relationship,and I felt much better after I had told her.

We talk now more than ever....

BUT I'm way off topic here,sorry.

Would i date a SP,YES,

Could I love her,YES

[scribbles 6031]

Rephrasing and simplifying the question asked of the ladies regarding the gents: Would/could an SP have a non-professional relationship with a client?

 

I have known a lot of dancers in the past, and one of the general rules that almost all of them followed was not dating customers. This wasn't simply a club rule or a legality issue, it was overwhelmingly termed more as a reaction to the circumstances in which they met. Generally, once the lady saw the guy as a customer, they could never view that guy as anything other than a customer. The category the guy fell into was defined, basically.

 

I would imagine it no different for an MA or SP.

Once you have accepted money from someone in a business arrangement to share your time and services with them, can you see that same person as a romantic opportunity outside of that business arrangement? Or, will you always see them as just a customer underneath it all.

 

I ask, having never been propositioned for a relationship of any sort outside of that business arrangement. :)

[castle 38816]

Rephrasing and simplifying the question asked of the ladies regarding the gents: Would/could an SP have a non-professional relationship with a client?

 

I have known a lot of dancers in the past, and one of the general rules that almost all of them followed was not dating customers. This wasn't simply a club rule or a legality issue, it was overwhelmingly termed more as a reaction to the circumstances in which they met. Generally, once the lady saw the guy as a customer, they could never view that guy as anything other than a customer. The category the guy fell into was defined, basically.

 

I would imagine it no different for an MA or SP.

Once you have accepted money from someone in a business arrangement to share your time and services with them, can you see that same person as a romantic opportunity outside of that business arrangement? Or, will you always see them as just a customer underneath it all.

 

I ask, having never been propositioned for a relationship of any sort outside of that business arrangement. :)

 

I think the ladies, be they dancers,mp's or sp's make a conscious decision to not view clients as romantic prospects....we clients do (or should do) the same things with them. This is our brain telling us to keep things simple and uncomplicated. But sometimes feelings can develop whether we want them to or not.....there's no real control over something like that. It's not like we're consciously making a decision to have feelings for someone. In my experience it doesn't quite work that way. A lady can easily develop feelings for her client and vice versa whether they want to or not.

[barriei88 275]

Here's my take on it... I dated a service provider for about a year. We met and hooked up and things moved fast. We were definitely in love, and I was ok with that. It's not like I told all my friends how we met and what she did beforehand, but we were comfortable enough to let each other into our real lives and not the fantasy life that sometimes comes with the biz I guess.

 

That being said, we broke up, because she had a lot of unresolved issues in her life. I can truly say that to me it doesn't make a difference, as long as the person you're with has their shit together. I think it takes a confident man, to be able to accept her past and not let it fuel jealousy in a relationship. I think it's easy for a guy who has jealousy issues to be even more possessive and jealous when it comes to dating someone who was in the business.

 

I think it's important to set boundaries, rules and expectations about what each of you expect in the relationship from each other. In my case, I broke up with her not because of her past, but because of the present. Whether you're a provider or not you still have to have your shit together. I don't think in the end it matters how you met, but it really does matter how much you're legitimately connected while you're together. I'm not a jealous or suspicious guy, but I do have to admit that when my ex started to pursue me, I did have issues about how legitimate she was being at first because money was a huge part of all of our early encounters. So it makes you wonder what she is really looking for and if she is really interested, but eventually those barricades drop when you know the SP is being truly genuine.

 

So... Yeah i think providers are A Ok in my book, as long as both partners are committed and on the same page. And seriously, if I'm gonna get judged by some kid's dad that you blew in a K-mart parking lot 8 years ago, lol who cares...? If you're the type of person who lives their life worrying about what others think, then you should re-evaluate. And besides, if he knows who you are and what you do, it's because he's probably had encounters in his life that he wouldn't be excited to talk about with everyone in his life either.

[Guest t**obb****]

It would have to be an equal relationship, with its auspicious start.

 

I think it could work, if the SPs Work affords the freedom and flexibility to be on par with the lifestyle of the Hobbyist!

 

ie. If one person spends 25K a year on vacations

It would likely work best if the other could also spend 25K a year and have the time to go on those vacations, without compromising their Work.

[da2root 871]

About 1.5 months ago I asked this question from the side of would an SP date a Hobbyist not really thinking about how I would respond to the idea of an SP wanting to date me.

 

It's been said a couple times; but I also agree - it's a complicated answer. There is no way I would say no though; it would take time and talking it through.

 

The profession does complicate things a little bit, but what relationship doesn't have complications? I've never dated an SP but yet every relationship I've had was complicated (some VERY complicated!)

 

If the SP were willing to work on the relationship slowly with me I would definitely give it a go. But that's any relationship isn't it?

 

There's a couple SP's on here that I've enjoyed chatting with and getting to know and would definitely go on a date with them (non business) if given the chance.

 

As tomarcusfenix in your post asking if you were a bad person; from my perspective I don't think you were a bad person for ending everything. You knew what you were and weren't comfortable with. You ended things when they weren't comfortable any longer; it's better than leading the lady on thinking it might lead somewhere; no different than any other relationship that a person ends when they're not comfortable in it any longer...

 

Additional Comments:

ie. If one person spends 25K a year on vacations

It would likely work best if the other could also spend 25K a year and have the time to go on those vacations, without compromising their Work.

 

I wish I made enough money to spend 25k a year on vacations!! heh

[CristyCurves 169032]

There are always great posts about how nice the ladies are in this industry. We've been called many things such as sweet and kind, loving and sincere. We've been told by many how attractive our brains can be, how healthy we are, beautiful and charismatic, alluring.

Lately, there has been some talk of feelings for the ladies. Can we do what we do and feel nothing? Can you come to us and feel nothing? The answer is no. We all have feelings, feelings about one another we touch and feel. Heck, I find I can develop feelings for people I've never even met.

When it comes to true, honest feelings that develop, I want to know if the connection is there and both of you know it, would you consider dating an SP?

If love is love would you take a chance on love with us? Why? Why not?

I know that here we are seen as woman, not objects and we are very respected as we respect you as well, but when it comes down to it...

Are we different?

Could you be with a girl that is with other men without you? Could you bring her to work functions knowing that she may know your boss or if you had children..your child's friends dads?

On the upside, you would be with a woman that knows plenty about men, your needs and how to fulfill them, loves sex and is very playful, and all those things that has been said about us.

Please share your thoughts

 

I just wanted to share an experience I had with a guy not that long ago,I always have tried to be very open with those I befriend , especially if I am intimate with him,when I started escorting I had met a guy, we dated for a few months until I felt comfortable enough to open up to him about my choosen occupation,needless to say it didn't go over well,he informed others in my building,dumped me ,letting me know I wasn't worthy of a man like him and caused me alot of problems.I have since decided to keep my business to my self only,I haven't even told friends.This has obviously affected my ability to trust people,as I also had a friend turn away as well and she used to be in the business,some people are very judgemental and cruel,they judge you only by what you do and not for who you are.Thanks for the thread ,I think it's a good subject to discuss,Cristy