Language used in Emails

[p22*** 236]

I recieved an email today requesting an outcall. The man in his first email asked for my phone number, I replied back that I never give out my number.

He replied "WELL THEN HERES MINE *** *** **** i've never heard such a fucked up thing that you don't give out your phone number but whatever- outcall, an hour--whatever "

Gentlemen in general... polieteness goes along way. I took this email as rude, aggressive, demanding and quetionable at best... So not only will I not be attending an outcall today, but this man is now on my black list...

I am posting this to bring up the point that language can make or break a meeting. I went from being excited to meet this individual to being not only weirded out, but very wary of his intend...

I'm sure he is a nice guy, however he could have easliy wrote..."wow I have never heard of an SP that doesn't give out her number...Here's mine, or heres my address...

I dont ask for a phone number for outcalls, only an address???

I would love some feed back...The man's part was copied and pasted right from email...

Thanks

[Oncenawyle 101]

I think your actions only attest to how cautious you ladies have to be sometimes. If a fella flies off the the handle over the availability of your phone number what's to say he won't get worse if you refuse him a service you aren't willing to provide? I think you acted appropriately and I'm sure 90% of the people that frequent this board will aggree. Stay safe at all costs! The longer you stay in the industry only increases the chance that my limited self will actually get to see you sometime! Until then I continue to fantasize ;)

[rick_falcon 911]

I agree with you Paige that this is a rude communication thread.

Just from the writing, I can feel a sense of arrogance. Who does he think he is?

 

I hope that when he wrote this, he was drunk or intoxicated in some way otherwise, my first impression is that this is just another asshole in this world. Loser with a capital L.

 

I also agree with you to be wary because you never know. Words can only say so much so that's when instinct kicks in.

[Cowboy kenny 50799]

His response is rude and inconsiderate. Anyone interested in establishing a rapor with someone to set up a potential meeting should never take that type of tone. If anything you should be thankful that you got a glimpse of this side of his personality from the safety of your own home rather than in person.

 

The words and tone used indicate he has no respect for your rules and consideration, imagine if he were to react like that durring a date.

[capitalman 3861]

I know you have to be careful reading into written communications, it's easy to take things the wrong way...but this guy is obviously a dickhead. :)

 

This thread is a good reminder to us all to respect the ladies...always respect the ladies, they have the power gentlemen!

[Guest i***k***]

Ya I agree you did the right thing BL'ing him. It's better to be safe than sorry! It's hard to express things in email cause they can be taken the wrong way sometimes but that was pretty blatant.

[smitty_McFlung 290]

WOW! This guy is a nut job...relax buddy, everything will take its time. Me, personally I usually try to call the SP, to get a vibe from her, when I ask "how are you?" if she seems not very interested I will ask a couple of questions and stop the call. You call it politeness Paige, I call it personality...lol my 2 cents

[d*mm*y 887]

The way someone communicates speaks volumes about their personality, this is a person with no patients and limited people skills. Probably the kind of guy that needs an escort the most but will also have the hardest time finding one. Patients patients patients the ladies have a method to there trade and on the surface it may seem unusual to us as outsiders but these processes almost like rituals to some, are the way the ladies can do what they do. If you break the regular routine you are not going to get the service, the process is in no way designed to hurt or entrap the client if the lady is a known SP from around here, just go with the flow.

 

On the other hand it does not hurt to be cautious about ladies we have not met or who have no recommendations or credibility (CL ladies for example). However even in these dealings a rude response is not going to get you a good outcome.

 

I personally have a really hard time understanding how an individual can have any kind of anger or animosity to someone they are trying to make love to? If an SP pisses me off I can not imagine myself in an intimate setting with this individual.

[PistolPete 61421]

It only goes without saying, respect the lady, and lady will 99.99% of the time respect you. I have always enjoyed flipping emails to you Paige, as it has become more of a personal friendship:wink:.I would not talk/write emails in that nature it only allows for your Service provider to think she is dealing with an ass. In my world of work outside of this forum, I treat my associates with the same > Respect < it goes a long way in life, especially when you need that friend down the road to bend their ear. Carry on Paige you are Ottawa's gem and you don't need his BS.

 

 

 

I recieved an email today requesting an outcall. The man in his first email asked for my phone number, I replied back that I never give out my number.

He replied "WELL THEN HERES MINE *** *** **** i've never heard such a fucked up thing that you don't give out your phone number but whatever- outcall, an hour--whatever "

 

Gentlemen in general... polieteness goes along way. I took this email as rude, aggressive, demanding and quetionable at best... So not only will I not be attending an outcall today, but this man is now on my black list...

 

I am posting this to bring up the point that language can make or break a meeting. I went from being excited to meet this individual to being not only weirded out, but very wary of his intend...

 

I'm sure he is a nice guy, however he could have easliy wrote..."wow I have never heard of an SP that doesn't give out her number...Here's mine, or heres my address...

I dont ask for a phone number for outcalls, only an address???

 

I would love some feed back...The man's part was copied and pasted right from email...

 

Thanks

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

You did the right thing....i for one will not allow this type of email to go any further then that.

Some people just do not understand what we do. They thing its their right to treat us like a body not a person. They forget that we provide a service which they are looking for and to receive this service they must obey our rules. Rudeness will not be tolerated.

 

Your very smart not to see this man as the others have said if he treats you with disrespect in an email imagine what it would be like to be with him.....

 

smart move,

Emma A

[mod 135639]

I'm sure he is a nice guy,

 

I hope your just being polite. This person is NOT a nice man. Thankfully a lot of unstable people have a hard time holding back comments like this (no buffer) so it makes avoiding them more easy when they do this. Hopefully he does not read this so that he keeps making stupid mistakes like this so others are tipped off ahead of time as well like you were.

 

Your first instinct is 99.9% of the time the right one!

 

I dont ask for a phone number for outcalls, only an address?

 

I wanted to mention that a phone number is not only very useful if your running late (Call and let your date know - traffic, car trouble, etc...) but it also provides you an extra level of safety.

 

Even if you do not give out your phone number it is a good idea to get the clients number and ask permission to call and confirm the appointment by phone at a pre-arranged time (1 hour / 30 mins before the call) this will cut down on wasted trips and most importantly you can feel them out over the phone (Intoxicated, angry, crazy, mean, etc...) so you can weed out many unstable/dangerous people and avoid risk.

 

I would suspect that people like this are even easier to pick out when talking with them on the phone.

 

Also.. it's a good idea to get as much info as possible to be as safe as possible... in many cities the ladies will only take calls from unblocked phone numbers. Sure this does not guarantee your safety but every little bit helps.

 

I am very glad to hear you avoided this person. That was a good call!

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

I hope your just being polite. This person is NOT a nice man. Thankfully a lot of unstable people have a hard time holding back comments like this (no buffer) so it makes avoiding them more easy when they do this. Hopefully he does not read this so that he keeps making stupid mistakes like this so others are tipped off ahead of time as well like you were.

 

Your first instinct is 99.9% of the time the right one!

 

 

 

I wanted to mention that a phone number is not only very useful if your running late (Call and let your date know - traffic, car trouble, etc...) but it also provides you an extra level of safety.

 

Even if you do not give out your phone number it is a good idea to get the clients number and ask permission to call and confirm the appointment by phone at a pre-arranged time (1 hour / 30 mins before the call) this will cut down on wasted trips and most importantly you can feel them out over the phone (Intoxicated, angry, crazy, mean, etc...) so you can weed out many unstable/dangerous people and avoid risk.

 

I would suspect that people like this are even easier to pick out when talking with them on the phone.

 

Also.. it's a good idea to get as much info as possible to be as safe as possible... in many cities the ladies will only take calls from unblocked phone numbers. Sure this does not guarantee your safety but every little bit helps.

 

I am very glad to hear you avoided this person. That was a good call!

 

this is right Prettp..if you do not want to use your own number u can can a "pay as you go phone" this way you do not even have to have your own name attached to the phone...and as mod said its good for clients to contact you if running late etc.

i will not make appointments with unknown numbers either....if they don't want to give you their number that its a bit suspectious...and of corse you can tell alot by a person's voice on the phone....

be safe,

Emma A

[spud271 47779]

Very sorry to hear that Paige, I find that type of behaviour a bit disturbing, but not surprising.

 

I was brought up in the British independent school system, and fortunately with girls at our school. Rare back home. We were taught how respect others and never be offensive unless necessary. I was in the Royal Navy and even though I was an officer, I do admit I have a mouth like a sailor, but there is a time and place for everything!

 

Guys like him should not be e-mailing someone as highly respected by so many people on here as yourself Paige.

[jdstar 1065]

What has happened to respect and common courtesy? I think that anyone speaking to, or engaging with an SP should always be on their best behavior. If you expect a complete stranger to offer up the most intimate of activities, don't you think you would go out of your way to be gentlemanly? I definitely would not want to be in the shoes of the lady knocking on a stranger's door, that she had received an aggressive email from. How could anyone think this kind of behavior would result in an intimate get together? Good call on the black list.

[p22*** 236]

I stopped using a phone when I would get calls or messages asking me very graphic things. Or time waster, I would have the same guy call and ask me the same question 10 times...I will only ever use emails now... Thank you again Ottawa, I feel the SP environment

[p22*** 236]

Can be a tricky situation at times, but by discussing the gray area's we crete a safer space for all...

[brandi 231]

Do you really need another opinion? Probably not. Here is my spin on it.

 

I think many people use swear words and it is just a habit. They all can?t be polished professional businessmen. We have all types to make the world go round. There are lots who have trades or work on the oil fields etc and for many swearing is all they hear all day long in their jobs. I don?t agree with swearing or like it but I understand that is just how some people are and he probably doesn?t even know he has offended you. Actually some of my now best regular clients are ones who I wasn?t exactly thrilled to see at first, a bit rough around the edges but inside they are all the same and need our services too. I really recall one guy who I just couldn?t wait for him to leave and when he called me again the following month if I would have realized who he has I would have just said I was busy. He was here and I had already seen him so I went threw with it and got to see that inside behind the rough edges he was so nice. He has ended up being a regular for over 2 years now and one of my favorites. We have talked about how scared I was of him at first because of the way he talked combined with all his tattoos. He just needed a place to be himself. He truly feels bad that I once felt concerned. I think most men no matter what happens at first, after they have been here a few times they don?t seem so scary and tough as they are usually pussy cats inside.

 

As for his email I think if you don?t take things personally and look at the big picture all he was saying is that normally 90% of sp?s have phones and you do fall into the minority and there is nothing wrong with that as that is why you are self employed to make your own rules and run your business in a way which works best for you. He just was so eager to hook up with you and saw it as a road block. So he left his number to abide by your rules he just used a pore choice of words but perhaps he doesn?t have the best education either.

 

Everyone?s communication style is a bit different as people are all diverse; I try not to get too hung up on words and focus on what the person is really wanting and their intent.

 

After reading that email I would call the number and if I still didn?t get a good feel I wouldn?t go any further but he may very well be different on the phone. Just like there are many who sounds decent on the phone and end up being creeps in person.

 

Best of luck to you

[r100rs 859]

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you....obviously it upset you a lot since you posted it here. Keep safe and trust your instincts always.

 

r100rs.

[Guest nickontheside]

So not only will I not be attending an outcall today, but this man is now on my black list...

Of course I cannot quibble with PrettyPaige's judgement regarding this or any client.

But another perspective may be worth mentioning here -- a glimpse into the life of the downtrodden clients in this industry. It may put the frenzy of condemnation and name-calling in this thread in some perspective. Since PrettyPaige does not tell us whether or not she also told her potential client what she has shared with CERB, I feel the urge here to express hope that she does tell him why she will or did not show up.

His deep concern with not having a phone number to try to contact her is telling, I would guess. Notice he is anxious to give her his, so there is some way of the two making contact -- presumably in case things go awry in some way when she tries to find him at the time of the appointment. This may well stem from his experience of the high rate of no-shows by SP's (I am from Nova Scotia and don't know PrettyPaige at all, so this cannot be taken as a slight to her! She may never have no-showed in her life, for all I know!) Since my own career as a hobbiest consists (with one solitary exception) exclusively of SP's (CERB members with top recommendations, no less) simply not showing up to their appointments with me (4 in a row, I'm taking a break right now to repair my spirits), I can empathize with what might have been running through the head of PrettyPaige's potential client. The more barriers to communication that the SP raises (in this case, no phone), the more one might begin to find oneself questioning the likelihood that the SP is just not serious in dealing with you as a client -- especially if this were to come on the heels of the client having been repeatedly stiiffed by other SP's. This might easily trigger a reaction of vulnerability-avoidance, which might in turn lead to a "disrespectful" word slipping out -- and his suspicion that this appointment will not happen becomes unintentionally self-fulfilling. This potential scenario does not make his slip-up right -- but it does make it more understandable.

Since SP's seem to be "pleasers" at heart, they do not seem to be able to just say "no" honestly -- instead they say "yes", but then use the no-show as their belated means of saying no. But potential clients deserve respect too, I say. They too are human beings. This should mean showing them the courtesy of being honest with them. So please (I'm addressing all SP's here, not you PrettyPaige) just tell your potential clients up front when you make that decision to not show up, and why you will not. Don't just callously leave them in the lurch, lonely, waiting and wondering.

My hat is sincerely off to all the hobbiests who can repeatedly take such treatment and not express any frustration. They are truly saints. I am in absolute awe of them. As for those hobbiests who might let some of their frustration leak out unintentionally from time to time with an ill-typed word, well I think they're still humans too. Wrong, but human. Such a slip does not show that they would do anything to harm a SP. (Yes, yes, yes. But how is a SP to know? Ah, truly. There's the rub.)

"Respect" for the SP's is the watchword on CERB. I think potential clients deserve no less from the SP's. Respect should be a two-way street.

 

Oops, I suppose this opinion of mine qualifies me for Blacklisting as well. But, what the hey. Zero for Four? How much worse can being blacklisted be?

[loneskater 25635]

You did the right thing. Nothing frustrate me most then hearing about a man being very impolite towards women. There is no place for this in today's society no matter what business we are in. To me that is the summon of being a low life looser. This is probably a lurker that found a cheap way out before you were to finalize the appointment.

 

I have seen many different ways to contact SPs, some do give phones, some don't. Some give e-mail some don't and I am not the most active hobbiest. Hey I have now graduated to using text message. Talk about something new for a not so young fellow. All it does is keep reminding me that my hands are all thumbs. But I was once asked to send a text message so I got my phone's instruction book out and sent a text message. I am now getting better at it, I am sure I am up to at least a letter per minute. So who cares about what method you need to use to contact someone as long as there is a way to make a booking!!!!!!!!!

 

If this looser has not heard of not giving a phone number well he deserves to see the CL Bait & Switch. They are in the same class as he is.

[s********m 116]

I agree fully. I am fairly new but with everything else whether it be at work or anywere else for that mater respect will take you much further. My policy if your rude are disrespectfully your not worth my time. Be nice and it will come back to you!

[YoungStud 468]

A couple of people have made the point that perhaps this individual simply has "rough edges" or "was previously disappointed by SP no-shows" or words to that effect.

 

In my book, those could be explanations, but they're not excuses. If you come across as an a-hole, for whatever reason, expect to be treated like one.

 

And, to shift focus a bit, on the no-show with no explanation point, there could be a number of reasons. Including the fact that a number of women in this business have their own often very justifiable reasons for being angry with men in general and want to be able to exercise some control over their relationships with men through their work. A no-show with no explanation could be an expression of both those things coming together. And was something which occurred for a variety of factors, most of which probably don't have anything to do with a particular client. So no reason to take it personally, even though it can be frustrating.

 

Fortunately, the really good SPs have sorted out their personal demons, or at least can separate them from their business life, and provide really professional, friendly service. The best ones know exactly who they are, what they want and how to enjoy the life they've chosen to the fullest.

[c****s m********a 123]

I agree that respect is a must with all sp . But for french personn like myself that can speak english perfectly, when the time come for writing it I freeze . This is why I dont post that mutch , cause most of you guys are so good at it and when you read me you could think that I've had to manny loll. So lets give that guy the benefit of the doute. Over the phone you can really say if he is a jurk my 2?.

[cat 262460]

So not only will I not be attending an outcall today, but this man is now on my black list...

 

Of course I cannot quibble with PrettyPaige's judgement regarding this or any client.

 

But another perspective may be worth mentioning here -- a glimpse into the life of the downtrodden clients in this industry. It may put the frenzy of condemnation and name-calling in this thread in some perspective. Since PrettyPaige does not tell us whether or not she also told her potential client what she has shared with CERB, I feel the urge here to express hope that she does tell him why she will or did not show up.

 

His deep concern with not having a phone number to try to contact her is telling, I would guess. Notice he is anxious to give her his, so there is some way of the two making contact -- presumably in case things go awry in some way when she tries to find him at the time of the appointment. This may well stem from his experience of the high rate of no-shows by SP's (I am from Nova Scotia and don't know PrettyPaige at all, so this cannot be taken as a slight to her! She may never have no-showed in her life, for all I know!) Since my own career as a hobbiest consists (with one solitary exception) exclusively of SP's (CERB members with top recommendations, no less) simply not showing up to their appointments with me (4 in a row, I'm taking a break right now to repair my spirits), I can empathize with what might have been running through the head of PrettyPaige's potential client. The more barriers to communication that the SP raises (in this case, no phone), the more one might begin to find oneself questioning the likelihood that the SP is just not serious in dealing with you as a client -- especially if this were to come on the heels of the client having been repeatedly stiiffed by other SP's. This might easily trigger a reaction of vulnerability-avoidance, which might in turn lead to a "disrespectful" word slipping out -- and his suspicion that this appointment will not happen becomes unintentionally self-fulfilling. This potential scenario does not make his slip-up right -- but it does make it more understandable.

 

Since SP's seem to be "pleasers" at heart, they do not seem to be able to just say "no" honestly -- instead they say "yes", but then use the no-show as their belated means of saying no. But potential clients deserve respect too, I say. They too are human beings. This should mean showing them the courtesy of being honest with them. So please (I'm addressing all SP's here, not you PrettyPaige) just tell your potential clients up front when you make that decision to not show up, and why you will not. Don't just callously leave them in the lurch, lonely, waiting and wondering.

 

My hat is sincerely off to all the hobbiests who can repeatedly take such treatment and not express any frustration. They are truly saints. I am in absolute awe of them. As for those hobbiests who might let some of their frustration leak out unintentionally from time to time with an ill-typed word, well I think they're still humans too. Wrong, but human. Such a slip does not show that they would do anything to harm a SP. (Yes, yes, yes. But how is a SP to know? Ah, truly. There's the rub.)

 

"Respect" for the SP's is the watchword on CERB. I think potential clients deserve no less from the SP's. Respect should be a two-way street.

 

Oops, I suppose this opinion of mine qualifies me for Blacklisting as well. But, what the hey. Zero for Four? How much worse can being blacklisted be?

 

The wonderful thing about CERB is that everyone is entitled to their opinion and I think you raise some valid points. The last six months has been the most hectic I have had and on occasion I have had to reschedule. It just about kills me to do it because I never schedule an appointment unless I fully intend to be there in mind, body and soul. I know my guests look forward to our visits and they deserve my undivided attention. I would rather reschedule than not be able to give 100%. Life happens tho and people should always take the time to let the other party know.

 

I agree that respect is a two way street and it needs to be shown on every level when we deal with everyone we cross paths with whether an SP, guest or store clerk. Paiges client very well may have been having a really bad day. His comments were delivered in a way that rubs people the wrong way, it happens. Rarely do I have someone who is a genuine asshole. I have encountered a few in my time, but most who walk thru the door with an attitude are simply good people who need some time and attention. That's why they come to me. We are all prone to mistakes, it's taking the mistake and making it personal is where the real mistake lies in my opinion...

 

Catherine

[p22*** 236]

To answer ( nickontheside )

The gentlemen explained he had a bad morning and apoligized for his email. I did also inform him of why I was posting the email... In general to all future gentlemen, words go along way...Be kind, and recieve the same kindness back upon you...

 

Any one who knows me ' I am always upfront and I always respect my gentlemen...

Respect is a two way street, so I only see men who show the same...