Contact Etiquette

[fortunateone 156618]

Maybe we are getting a little off topic (or not)

Glad Smithwick got a hold of the lady. He is a newbie to this lifestyle, so his uncertainty of what to do understandable. Lets hope he has a great first encounter with a great lady

As for screening process, always comply with the lady's screening procedure.

Some prefer a phone call. Some prefer just an email, some prefer email with full verification (name, email, phone number, board handle, reference) I just now add a pm to the lady to confirm my board handle

My morning two cents worth.

And hoping Smithwick has a great first encounter

RG

 

 

 

So true.

 

And just to be clear, my response about how I do things has nothing whatsoever to do with how other sps do things, only to point out to him that the comment that I do not screen is inaccurate. For me, what I do works for me.

 

But this is testament to the very real fact that the majority of clients and callers are really terrific human beings. The fact that it is so easy, with just a phone call, to avoid the lowlifes and scammers and aggressively rude, among other things, is due to that fact. When you have spoken with and spent time with so many genuinely nice people, you get to know the difference when you are talking to someone who is none of those things.

 

The other issue is someone who arrives and thinks the sp offers and charges something other than what she does. My simple phone call method assures both of us that he cannot have any misconceptions about any of that. This communication goes a long way to making a good match as well.

 

But let's face it, I am not traveling to appointments, so if the person is sincere or not does not matter. I am not out of time or out of pocket to find out. I am not renting hotel rooms to do incalls. So if the person is not sincere, it does not matter because again I am not incurring expenses for someone who has no intention of showing up.

 

If I did you bet the clients would be contacting me with one week notice and providing all kinds of references and information.

 

But as for someone being a real danger? Not sure, because really, they don't make it past my lame screening I guess, so I have never dealt with someone like that. :D

[Smithwick 7122]

Just to clue up my story, I finally got together with my lovely lady. It all worked out in the end!!

[DukeSSk 3430]

I have a question related to the subject being discussed here and I though it'd be best to post here instead of starting yet another "communication" thread. Apologies for the hijacking, I noticed the orignial issue appears to have been resolved (see previous post)

 

Regarding the ladies who have telephone as their preferred communication method:

 

- If voicemail is enabled, do you check and call back?

- If voicemail is not enabled, do you call back the missed call number?

 

I'm wondering since I know that most ladies have other things to check (texts, emails, and PMs)

 

So far, I've haven't seen many instructions in advertisements regarding voicemail and missed calls. I'm wondering since it's not practical to call every 30-60 minutes until I can reach the lady, and from her point of view, having several missed calls from one gentleman in a day makes for a very bad first impression.

 

I'd greatly appreciate input from everyone, thanks!! :)

[Guest N***he**Ont**y]

One phone call should suffice. Repeated calls to them will be seen as a being annoying and perhaps you won't get a call back!

[A****y E*e 6175]

Hi all,

 

Just wanted to say that sometimes I get voicemail messages that are very difficult to make out for whatever reason - either the person's voice sounds too low on the message, or there's static, etc. and I can't make out whether or not the person has said it's okay to call them back or if they would prefer to call me back. Wanting to air on the side of discretion, I don't usually call them in case it's not a good number. So, if I haven't returned a voicemail within a day or so, I always appreciate it when someone follows up with an e-mail to say, "I left you a voicemail, but in case you didn't get it..." so that I can explain what happened!

 

xo Audrey

[backrubman 64800]

Hi all,

 

Just wanted to say that sometimes I get voicemail messages that are very difficult to make out for whatever reason - either the person's voice sounds too low on the message, or there's static, etc. and I can't make out whether or not the person has said it's okay to call them back or if they would prefer to call me back. Wanting to air on the side of discretion, I don't usually call them in case it's not a good number. So, if I haven't returned a voicemail within a day or so, I always appreciate it when someone follows up with an e-mail to say, "I left you a voicemail, but in case you didn't get it..." so that I can explain what happened!

 

xo Audrey

 

That's a really good point. When I do have to resort to voice mail, I do my best and then hit #. That usually results in a menu with options to continue recording or play back what you have recorded so far or even start over, or hang up to deliver the message. If I hear the option I always listen to my message to make sure it is clear and may even re-record it more than once to make it better until I am happy with it but dam it I hate voice mail :)

[Phaedrus 209521]

Regarding the ladies who have telephone as their preferred communication method:

 

- If voicemail is enabled, do you check and call back?

- If voicemail is not enabled, do you call back the missed call number?

 

To be honest, I wouldn't expect them to call you back unless you left a voicemail saying that it was OK to do so, and when. Unless the call has been pre-arranged, a SP calling a client is prone to all kinds of issues with discretion. What if she calls back while you happen to be with your SO? Tricky, that, and my understanding is that most SPs just don't want to deal with it :)

 

And that's one of the reasons I prefer email... far fewer problems like this :)

[Smithwick 7122]

To be honest, I wouldn't expect them to call you back unless you left a voicemail saying that it was OK to do so, and when. Unless the call has been pre-arranged, a SP calling a client is prone to all kinds of issues with discretion. What if she calls back while you happen to be with your SO? Tricky, that, and my understanding is that most SPs just don't want to deal with it :)

 

And that's one of the reasons I prefer email... far fewer problems like this :)

 

See, I'm not a fan of email in general. I do use it to contact SPs, but only for reasons of discretion. I have actually run into a situation again like my previous one. I emailed a SP on Friday and still haven't heard from her. I will be a bit more patient than I was last time. I'll wait a few more days, then I think I'll give her a call, since it is one of her communication options, simply to ask if she had gotten my email.

 

The problem I have with email is that I feel its too full of uncertainty. Did she get my email? Did I receive her reply? Did it get "lost in the mail" somehow? If I email again, will she feel badgered? Did I accidentally delete it when I cleaned out me spam folder? Why am I asking so many questions? How long has this hamburger been left out on the counter?

 

That's why in day-to-day life I'll call. Its nice when a girl has the phone as another option just in case.

[Athos 108589]

 

The problem I have with email is that I feel its too full of uncertainty. Did she get my email? Did I receive her reply? Did it get "lost in the mail" somehow? If I email again, will she feel badgered?

 

One of the reasons I love it when a lady has an auto-reply function on their e-mail. I then know that a) she received the e-mail and b) that I'm getting her replies. The auto-reply also usually sets out a time frame for when my e-mail will most likely be replied to. That way, once that time frame passes, I don't feel like a quick e-mail follow up is out of order.

 

Porthos

[Phaedrus 209521]

See, I'm not a fan of email in general. I do use it to contact SPs, but only for reasons of discretion. I have actually run into a situation again like my previous one. I emailed a SP on Friday and still haven't heard from her. I will be a bit more patient than I was last time. I'll wait a few more days, then I think I'll give her a call, since it is one of her communication options, simply to ask if she had gotten my email.

 

I've found most people are pretty good at answering mails - they are, after all, running a business. But yes, a lot of this is down to personal preference - there are also a fair few ladies who don't seem to like email, or phones.

 

Personally, I like email when I'm planning ahead (usually at least a couple of days in advance), and phone for the occasional "Are you free in an hour's time" kinda stuff.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I book everything through e-mail for discretion purposes. I can attend to e-mail at all hours of the day and night, including times when a phone call would not be discrete or appropriate.

 

The only people who have my phone number are prospective or returning clients. I'm happy to receive voicemail and generally request that they suggest a couple of times when it might be convenient for me to return their call. If I can't call them when asked, I usually e-mail to explain.

 

There is no perfect system, though.

 

If someone tries to contact me on Friday and doesn't hear from me by Monday, I think it's perfectly acceptable for them to e-mail again, asking whether I got their message. I may have been out of town and forgot to set my auto-responder accordingly, for example.

[roamingguy 300291]

First no matter what, you have to use the lady's preferred method of contact. If she prefers email, don't phone her.

Sometimes emails have hiccups, I know a few emails I sent to a couple ladies never were received, lost in internet cyberspace...but all got fixed in the end.

My initial method of contact is email. If she says I'd like a phone call from you (happened a couple times) I'll ask her what day/time to call (got to be discrete from my end, and she will know when she can be alone so no one hears, she wants discretion too). If all she has is a contact phone number, I'll text first, just in case there is someone around at her end and she can't take a phone call, and ask when is a good time to call. Who knows, she may have family visiting right then and there...very awkward to answer a call. I know I've been texted by a lady when I was visiting with family, I just say it's my cell phone provider, they have some promotion going on

Anyhow, a few off the cuff ramblings

RG

[Smithwick 7122]

Well, she got back to me. Yesterday I filled out the registration form on her website stating that I had sent an email and that I was just following up. She got back to me today and our date is on!

 

Moral of the story ladies, its great if you have at least two different methods of communication, just in case your preferred method craps out. I can understand if you're reluctant to post your phone number out there, but a registration form, twitter, IM, carrier pigeons, are all good alternate communication methods if its needed.

[backrubman 64800]

Patience is a virtue (when you have the luxury of time of course).

 

I expect to see a lot more impatience increasingly in the future and this is not at all directed at you Smithwick. I just expect as technology evolves and everything happens in "internet time" to see less and less patience.

 

With me it started many years ago when we first got email. It wasn't too long after and someone would send me an email and then call me on the phone an hour later because I hadn't answered their email. At the time, email to me was like regular mail, if it sat in my inbox for a few days, so what? These days it seems almost everyone (in an office environment), well like that's all they do all day is read and write emails and not much else.

 

Smartphones are a mixed blessing but as more ladies adopt them this problem will become worse (or better depending on your point of view). Yes, you can call me, leave me a voice mail, send me a text message, emails are delivered within seconds, fax to email as well and with Tapatalk I even have access to CERB and PMs all from a device that fits in my pocket. Once most of the ladies are this well connected it will become the norm and the rest will have to follow or start miss out.

[aubreyxxx 20240]

I have a question related to the subject being discussed here and I though it'd be best to post here instead of starting yet another "communication" thread. Apologies for the hijacking, I noticed the orignial issue appears to have been resolved (see previous post)

 

Regarding the ladies who have telephone as their preferred communication method:

 

- If voicemail is enabled, do you check and call back?

- If voicemail is not enabled, do you call back the missed call number?

 

I'm wondering since I know that most ladies have other things to check (texts, emails, and PMs)

 

So far, I've haven't seen many instructions in advertisements regarding voicemail and missed calls. I'm wondering since it's not practical to call every 30-60 minutes until I can reach the lady, and from her point of view, having several missed calls from one gentleman in a day makes for a very bad first impression.

 

I'd greatly appreciate input from everyone, thanks!! :)

 

As each lady has personal opinions on any topic I can only speak for myself. Personally I prefer that if the gentlemen calls me and doesn't get through whether it goes directly to voice mail on first ring, or goes to voice mail after continuous rings, to please leave a detailed message with as much info as he is comfortable in providing such as his name/username a number to call him back with and if the call is of urgent nature (such as requiring an appt within the next couple hours)

Please gentlemen, take note that leaving a message like this "Hey Aubrey it's Dave, call me back" does not really help me out. Not trying to sound like I've seen every Dave in the universe but I can assure you there has been more than one lol and I am not a mind reader, so providing a p hone number is a definite way for me to call you back ;)

Also - if you don't hear back from me in 3-4 hours and would like to try calling again - I personally have no issue with you doing so :)

Hopefully this answers your question, but as I said this is how I personally feel on the topic and not every lady will have the same views as I do

[DukeSSk 3430]

I've found most people are pretty good at answering mails - they are, after all, running a business. But yes, a lot of this is down to personal preference - there are also a fair few ladies who don't seem to like email, or phones.

 

Personally, I like email when I'm planning ahead (usually at least a couple of days in advance), and phone for the occasional "Are you free in an hour's time" kinda stuff.

 

True, I'm impressed with the emails respone in terms of time and information provided. I've had only to follow-up 2-3 times and they got back to me very quickly.

 

As each lady has personal opinions on any topic I can only speak for myself. Personally I prefer that if the gentlemen calls me and doesn't get through whether it goes directly to voice mail on first ring, or goes to voice mail after continuous rings, to please leave a detailed message with as much info as he is comfortable in providing such as his name/username a number to call him back with and if the call is of urgent nature (such as requiring an appt within the next couple hours)

Please gentlemen, take note that leaving a message like this "Hey Aubrey it's Dave, call me back" does not really help me out. Not trying to sound like I've seen every Dave in the universe but I can assure you there has been more than one lol and I am not a mind reader, so providing a p hone number is a definite way for me to call you back ;)

Also - if you don't hear back from me in 3-4 hours and would like to try calling again - I personally have no issue with you doing so :)

Hopefully this answers your question, but as I said this is how I personally feel on the topic and not every lady will have the same views as I do

 

Thanks for the advice! :)

 

First no matter what, you have to use the lady's preferred method of contact. If she prefers email, don't phone her.

Sometimes emails have hiccups, I know a few emails I sent to a couple ladies never were received, lost in internet cyberspace...but all got fixed in the end.

My initial method of contact is email. If she says I'd like a phone call from you (happened a couple times) I'll ask her what day/time to call (got to be discrete from my end, and she will know when she can be alone so no one hears, she wants discretion too). If all she has is a contact phone number, I'll text first, just in case there is someone around at her end and she can't take a phone call, and ask when is a good time to call. Who knows, she may have family visiting right then and there...very awkward to answer a call. I know I've been texted by a lady when I was visiting with family, I just say it's my cell phone provider, they have some promotion going on

Anyhow, a few off the cuff ramblings

RG

 

So far, I've only contacted a lady once by phone. I got lucky on the 2nd try during the day, no voicemail available.

 

For the next time, I'm debating about saying something along the lines of "Hey, it's...from CERB, do you have a minute or two to talk?" Kinda of addresses the discretion issue you brought up. Well, if she is with family, I'd hope that her phone is on vibrate or silent and she would ignore it. Chances are that she has a pretty good idea of whom that may be calling.

 

I thought I read somewhere that some ladies have a separate phone for the business-side of their lives...Perhaps just put it on silent and the time is bad.

 

Just a thought.

[fortunateone 156618]

I have a question related to the subject being discussed here and I though it'd be best to post here instead of starting yet another "communication" thread. Apologies for the hijacking, I noticed the orignial issue appears to have been resolved (see previous post)

 

Regarding the ladies who have telephone as their preferred communication method:

 

- If voicemail is enabled, do you check and call back?

- If voicemail is not enabled, do you call back the missed call number?

 

I'm wondering since I know that most ladies have other things to check (texts, emails, and PMs)

 

So far, I've haven't seen many instructions in advertisements regarding voicemail and missed calls. I'm wondering since it's not practical to call every 30-60 minutes until I can reach the lady, and from her point of view, having several missed calls from one gentleman in a day makes for a very bad first impression.

 

I'd greatly appreciate input from everyone, thanks!! :)

 

 

My best advice is leave a message about your availability and after doing that by all means keep calling back until you reach her. The biggest problem I see with someone who does wait a half hour or hour and does not leave a message is that there is a really good chance that every time they call back, they will miss me again. I'd rather someone call back every 10 minutes until I can answer than to continue to call me every time I am busy again, or down getting the laundry.

 

Basically, I change up my voice message, and I want the person to just do what it says. Sometimes that says call back in 5 minutes, other times 20, other times it just says I"m not available and that might mean I'm out for 5 hours. So leave a message, when I can no longer call you back, and carry on with your day.