Has anyone ever gone to the funeral of a good client or sp?

[brandi 231]

I hesitate to post this but what the heck I am going to anyways.

 

 

I saw in the obituaries that a client which I had been seeing for about 8 years passed. Now I hate going to funerals and usually don?t go to very many but for some strange reason I really wanted to go to this one. I contemplated who would be there and if anyone were to talk to me and ask how I new him what would I say. I thought of all kinds of legit sounding reasons and scenarios to explain how I would have known him but in the end I didn?t go just in case as the last thing I would want is for his family to be more upset at this horrible time but you know he was the kind of guy who would have probably wanted me at his funeral.

 

People come and go, that is just life and it doesn?t usually bother me to much but for some strange reason this one really got to me and I felt strongly I wanted to go.

 

Any one else?

 

Would you go to a funeral?

 

How about if you are a client and you see your favorite sp?s obituary, would you go to the funeral?

[etasman2000 15994]

I haven't personally gone to an SP's however my snap answer is 'yes I would'

 

Recognize that a funeral is really for the people who know the deceased and not for the deceased.

 

It is quite ok to say 'He/She really impressed me the few times we met and I felt I should be here'

 

It is quite ok to say 'We met for work/ We bump into each other around town'

 

It is quite ok to feel compelled to go and didn't. Sometimes the intention is what counts.

[Guest i***k***]

I think I would go pay my respects alone after the funeral. Just out of respect to her family and the discretion we shared.

[d*mm*y 887]

I think I would go pay my respects alone after the funeral. Just out of respect to her family and the discretion we shared.

 

Grieving is a personal thing, and the relationship you had was very private and personal. I still from time to time visit my parents grave site and it is still there many many years after the funerals. This is very good advice there is nothing wrong with going and paying your respects any time.

[spud271 47779]

Personally I think it's a good idea to go. If you had a friendship for the last 8 years and that is what it was, then I don't see a problem with you going. Personally I would love to know that my favorite SP attended my funeral, of course I'm not actually having one and I told my son he can flush my ashes down the toilet for all I care! If you were close, then I don't see why not.

[whatsup 11893]

Hi Brandi

 

I concur with Inaluki and Dummpy.

 

You do have a very public profile with your usage of the internet as a form of advertising.

 

If family member or friend of the family were to recognize you it might not be in the best interests of your former client/friend.

 

It would be nice of you to pay your respect at the grave yard at an appropriate time. Sorry to hear about your loss.

[a******s.m*****e 187]

Hi Brandi,

 

I think it was very wise of you not to go.

You live in a relatively small town and show your face in your ads. ;)

 

But it is the intention that counts and it is nice of you to care.

 

just my 2 cents

[Seymour 3970]

Let this thread remind anyone that have forgotten - these encounters we have are a 'relationship'. It is not just about the physical aspect, but also about the extended friendships that get forged.

 

If anyone forgot, meeting, being with someone for extended periods of time does result in emotional connections. (Let's forget about the business side for a second).

 

In terms of this particular circumstance (and every one is unique), perhaps it helps to have some guidelines to help decide whether to attend or not.

 

Discretion - will attending place you, or the person in a bad light with their family members and friends?

 

How emotionally attached were you to the person? Will you have an emotional outburst with their family and friends present?

 

What circles did this person play in? Will attending cause you to run into another client and what of that potential impact?

 

I think in the end you did the sensible thing by not attending.

 

I'm sorry for your loss. Take this with you, cherish the good times you shared with your friend, you will always have those memories.

[E.D. man 691]

i would go and just say your a regular at the same bar.

But it would be hard for the client to be at the sp funeral because of the fake names used.

But i would go if I was a long time customer.:sad:

[brandi 231]

Sure some people know I am an escort but that is only one hat I wear. I have been very active in this community over the years with regular activities such as I sit on a board of directors and belong to several associations and groups which would leave no questions of doubt as many know me from these various places. Once a year I am also involved in a big charity fund raiser so for me it is easy to say I know so and so from such and such and it is believable and that would be the end of it. However I didn't go just in case.

[Loki318 1631]

I would definitely go if I were placed in the situation; in fact and this is going to sound weird but wtf LOL

I have an envelope that is sealed and placed with a friend to be delivered to the funeral director who will be handling my Arrangements, in the event of my untimely passing, inside is the contact info for a few very close friends some of them SP's and some not, and directions for him to notify them of my passing and extend an invitation from me, for them to attend the service if they so choose to do so....

Some may come others may not LOL it wont matter to me; the important thing is that in this business/hobby we seldom see each other from one descrete apointment to the next and would not want these close friends to think that I had just "left" them with no word of goodbye....

Like Brandi and i am sure many others here I "travel" in many different circles for work, volinteer activities, and play and my Family do not know all my contacts

 

Loki318

[Emma Alexandra 123366]

I think I would go pay my respects alone after the funeral. Just out of respect to her family and the discretion we shared.

 

what you shared with each other may have been special but out of respect to him and his family you made the right decision...kisses and hugs to you.

Emma A

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I think you made the right decision for you, Brandi. I don't think it would have been wrong if you had gone to the funeral, though, if you could do it discretely.

 

In the other part of my life, I've worked closely with quite a few funeral homes and attended dozens of funerals over the last 15 years or so. I'm writing from that experience.

 

Unless the person is quite elderly, or has been shut-in for a long, long time, or has a disability that seriously restricted their ability to be out in the world, most funeral services have a wide variety of people attending. They don't all know each other. Many people will be there who may hardly know the deceased, but have accompanied their spouse or a friend who did know him/her.

 

If the death was sudden, it would be very unusual for members of the family to be greeting people at the door of the funeral home or church when people arrive. If the deceased had been ill for a long time and was on good terms with his/her family, it's more likely that family members will be greeting people when they arrive. You might need to make a judgment call about this, but it would be unusual for anyone greeting folks as they arrive to also ask questions about why someone is there.

 

You can always call the funeral home and ask how many people they're expecting to attend the service. They'll tell you if it's really just a small, private family service, or if they're expecting a couple of hundred people. If the service is being held in a church, there will usually be a lot of people there. If the whole service is being held at the graveside, fewer people will attend. Funeral homes are asked this very question several times a day. Estranged family members, former spouses and other people who have had a difficult relationship with the deceased, or with members of his/her family, often call the funeral home and ask this question. There's no need to feel conspicuous for asking!

 

There's usually a guest book available for signing. I wouldn't sign it, if I was at a funeral for a client. There's often a gathering after the service, too. I wouldn't attend. That's where questions about how someone knows the deceased would be most likely to be asked. And I wouldn't go to the burial if it's happening after the service. Again, more than half of the people who attend the service also won't go to the graveyard, so there's nothing conspicuous about staying away. Going, however, could raise questions.

 

But if there will be more than about 80 people at the funeral, to arrive at the funeral home or church only a couple of minutes before the service starts, and to leave when it's over, shouldn't be a problem. Many other people will do the same thing for different reasons.

[E.D. man 691]

Funny thing I went to my favorite Aunts funeral in Montreal a few years ago.

There was a dancer from the playmate there she was my Aunts grandchild.

So I would have went anyway. You never know who will attend and who you don't and do know even in your own family.

[rick_falcon 911]

It is tru that after 8 years, a certain bond can develop between 2 individuals, even by seeing each other on a casual basis.

 

It si the intemtion that counts. But in my case, I am in the same boat as EDMan described above: even though some ladies are amazing and I have learnt to get to know some of them over time, I still don't know one SP's full name.

 

So if I see an obituary, there must be a picture in order for me to recognize her otherwise, it will be just a name that while rading, I would tell to myself: 'so young...'

[a******s.m*****e 187]

I personally think that no matter how close I get to a client, I am just a nice distraction in his life, and he belongs to his family, to the people who held his hand on his death bed.

 

I would never think of going to his funeral. Not that there is anything wrong with wanting to, I just wouldn't.

 

In the ten years I've been in this business I had many occasions where clients told me how much they loved me, even told me they were in love with me. I never encourage them, and I have learned to dismiss it as a fantasy, because this is what it is. It has passed sooner or later in every single case.

 

I am saying if someone would really love me he would want to be with me all the time. There is no such thing as part-time love :)