Advice for Gentlemen ... A "Do Not Do" List

[o*****j***e 136]

Older men turn my crank too! Older men are so incredibly sexy and know how to please a woman. Why bother with a McDonald's hamburger when you can savour a t-bone steak. :-P

 

So much, in fact, that I clearly state on my website my preferred range of 40 to 65. I won't even consider seeing a client under the age of 30. My guard goes up and I am very cautious in even responding to men under 40.

 

Oh, come on now MandalayBay, It's unfortunate that we could not have met before you created your website. I'm sure that you would have realized that an under 30 can also be a t-bone steak.

 

Let me know if you ever want to reconsider.....:cry:

[a******s.m*****e 187]

Viagra and the other drugs like it are helpful for men who have trouble achieving or maintaining an erection reliably. Many men who have erectile difficulty are also prone to premature ejaculation. If PE is your only problem, there are better ways to solve it than using Viagra. But if you're not able to get hard or stay that way when you want to, Viagra may help.

 

In terms of whether the problem is related to your own psyche or your feelings about your partner, that might be a tough call to make. As a woman, I'm reluctant to blame the other woman, assuming that she's a willing, interested partner and you've had mutually satisfying encounters before. However, emotions, resentment, hostility, anxiety, fatigue, depression and a host of other things can influence anyone's sexual performance, not usually for the better. Some men say that their erections are harder and/or longer-lasting when they're with a new partner. Others have the most difficulty with a new partner. What works beautifully in an unhurried, relaxed setting with a trusted partner may not work so well if either partner is stressed-out, tired or anxious. Fear of being discovered can create problems! :roll:

 

Health issues that can cause or contribute to erectile problems include diabetes (35-50% of diabetic men have erectile dysfunction), smoking, alcoholism, kidney disease, multiple sclerosis, being overweight, heart disease, atherosclerosis, vascular disease, and not getting enough exercise. Depression can also be a factor, whether in addition to any of these conditions, or on its own. Surgery can also cause ED.

 

The thing is, erectile dysfunction is not inevitable or a natural part of aging. It's caused by other factors. The best way to avoid having ED is to have a healthy lifestyle. Eat properly. Get exercise. Don't smoke. Don't drink too much. Hypertension, diabetes and heart disease can cause ED and are often preventable. They're also treatable conditions.

 

And please, if you find it difficult to discuss your sexual health with your doctor..... Get Over Yourself. Seriously. Your doctor will appreciate how difficult it is for you to say that you're having a problem. He's heard about these problems many, many times before from men who are younger, more powerful, more successful, wealthier, better looking and more physically impressive than you are. Your masculinity is not an issue--for your doctor. In addition, if you are having erectile problems but you're not aware of any other health issues, getting assessed can save your life.

 

Samantha, you would make a wonderful sex therapist. You are not only knowledgeable, but also care for your clients genuinely and are smart enough to see things as they are.

 

Not trying to influence you in any direction, but just in case you want to retire, that would be an option, and that is a legitimate profession.

I am convinced that there are many sex therapists out there who have no idea about male sexuality and instead of fixing the clients they screw them up more.

 

Just an example. I sometimes listen to Dr. Laura, because I am bored and I love to talk back to her:)

 

She is an absolute idiot when it comes to giving advise. She is convinced that all you have to do to fix your marriage and sex life with your husband (husband only, because having sex with a boyfriend is shaking up LOL) is to be nice to him, give him a hug, give him a backrub and everything will be fine.

She has no idea that there are cases out there where husbands do NOT want to have a good sex life, because they need to experience something new or something kinky to be satisfied..... With other words, she has never been an sp and has NO IDEA what reality is like.

 

I am not judging anyone, I am just saying that the issue is a lot more complex, and I feel sorry for the women who are desperately trying to seduce their husbands and blame themselves when they fail, and stupid Dr.Laura tells them they should try harder, when the truth is that the husband needs to be spanked, whipped, stepped on or eat his own cum to be happy. Poor husband can't share this with the wife without risking her contempt, and sees sp's to get what he wants.

 

I am wondering, how would in a (pretty common) case like this a backrub help?

 

Another thing that pisses me off is when a husband cheats and she says to the wife "you are not treating him right, buy my book on how to spoil your husband" just to make a buck. On the other hand when a woman cheats she calls her a slut and asks the husband why did he marry her? Stupid Laura, maybe he is attracted to sluts! Go figure! Life is not black and white, and some people don't fit into your artificially happy world.

 

Anyway, when I started out with this post, I had no idea I will end up bashing Dr. Laura, but I will throw this out there and see what people think?

 

I am a moderate feminist, meaning that I want the same rights as a man has, not more, not less. And I absolutely resent to play the subordinate role to butter up my husband to have a happy marriage. If there is buttering up, it should be mutual in my opinion.

 

Maybe, that's why I am happily single ;)

[MandalayBay 575]

Oh, come on now MandalayBay, It's unfortunate that we could not have met before you created your website. I'm sure that you would have realized that an under 30 can also be a t-bone steak.

 

Let me know if you ever want to reconsider.....:cry:

 

Ha Ha! Very funny OttawaJamie

 

I have just never been able to develop a taste for veal ... I like my meat with a big hard, aged t-bone in it.

 

That's not saying I am unwilling to sample veal every once in a while. :lol:

[o*****j***e 136]

Ha Ha! Very funny OttawaJamie

 

I have just never been able to develop a taste for veal ... I like my meat with a big hard, aged t-bone in it.

 

That's not saying I am unwilling to sample veal every once in a while. :lol:

 

This is too funny!

 

Alright, let me know when your willing to sample some veal.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

I have just never been able to develop a taste for veal ... I like my meat with a big hard, aged t-bone in it.

 

ROFLMAO!

 

We really need a "quote of the day" award. And Mandalay should win it today!

[Guest Ou**or**n]

I am convinced that there are many sex therapists out there who have no idea about male sexuality and instead of fixing the clients they screw them up more.

 

On this point I agree totally. Long time SP's would make excellent sex therapists, especially those that really got to know some of their clients well. They have a much broader perspective.

 

I agree with many of your other points as well. Most social marriages can work if they expand to include our complex sexual selves.

[AttilaTheHun 356]

Samantha, I really like your advice to all the younger men out there. I'm in 50's and I have always taken care of my body without abusing it. I don't smoke, drink very moderately and not daily, eat healthy and exercise every day. The key is moderation because anything in excess is bad for you. Once you've taken care of yourself the body will take care of you. As for Viagra, if you have a fit healthy body most of the side effects from drinking, smoking and obesity will disappear leaving your equipment to work like it should and you won't have to resort to ED medication. Just losing weight and getting rid a few folds will make your penis look longer and is a great morale booster. Getting regular sex is important and some reading on how to control your ejaculation will benefit you and your lady.

 

If I have one piece of advice that anyone can do stay in shape it's this:

 

Get up in the morning, first thing slip into your jogging clothes or shorts, get your runners on, have a glass of water and go out for a 20-30 minute brisk walk taking a deep breaths and exhaling with the rhythm of your stride before you do anything else. I can almost guarantee you that in a week you'll feel your energy levels increase, you will lose weight and feel much better about yourself. Its that simple but do it everyday if you can. Its real easy and anyone even the ladies can do this.

 

ATH

 

 

 

 

 

Men in their 60s are frequently devastating! Seriously! And if you want to do things now to make sure that your 60s are wonderful, eat properly, get some exercise on a regular basis, don't drink too much and don't smoke. Especially don't smoke. Not only does it cause one of the worst kinds of cancer, but it also causes erectile dysfunction. Also, watch your blood pressure.

 

You don't have to look like a god, but by taking good care of the whole system, your equipment will continue to be high-functioning for a long, long time. If you're tempted to use Viagra before you actually need it, just to firm things up a bit, so to speak, don't. Dependencies can develop.

 

Take good care of your body and it will reward you most handsomely in your later years. Trust me. I'm a qualified expert! :wink:

[YoungStud 468]

If I have one piece of advice that anyone can do stay in shape it's this:

 

Get up in the morning, first thing slip into your jogging clothes or shorts, get your runners on, have a glass of water and go out for a 20-30 minute brisk walk taking a deep breaths and exhaling with the rhythm of your stride before you do anything else. I can almost guarantee you that in a week you'll feel your energy levels increase, you will lose weight and feel much better about yourself. Its that simple but do it everyday if you can. Its real easy and anyone even the ladies can do this.

 

ATH

 

Attilla, you are right on the money. It's not more difficult than that. Inspired by a desire to have more fun with my fav, who's a bit younger that I am, I started a regular walking regimen almost a year ago.

 

Since then, with some attention to diet as well, I've gone from 238 to 194 much more fit lbs (I'm 6'0"), regularly walk 10-12 Km most days at a good pace and can usually sustain 40-50 minutes of "fun" at a time, while remaining "fully engaged". (Lol) I'm sure there are many others who can exceed that, but I'm happy to have met some of my personal goals. Heading for 185 lbs and a flat tummy. And at least as good cardio "endurance" times for "fun". Lol.

[capitalman 3861]

So is it okay to tell my familiy members that I'm actually in sex counselling as opposed to visiting escorts?

[YoungStud 468]

So is it okay to tell my familiy members that I'm actually in sex counselling as opposed to visiting escorts?

 

Absolutely! You have my permission. Lol. Just don't use my OHIP number. Lol.

[SamanthaEvans 166766]

So is it okay to tell my familiy members that I'm actually in sex counselling as opposed to visiting escorts?

 

Absolutely! :grin:

 

I think I should change my banner.... "Counselling the discerning gentleman..."

[Suzirider 737]

Absolutely! :grin:

 

I think I should change my banner.... "Counselling the discerning gentleman..."

 

OR,

Counselling the Bad-Boys to become Discerning Gentleman :-D

[Annessa 22743]

"So is it okay to tell my familiy members that I'm actually in sex counselling as opposed to visiting escorts? "

I thought about embellishing once as a job title (if I really HAD to explain my job to more judgmental people) to say I'm a "sexual lifestyle/relationship-prospering consultant".

 

really its not far from the truth amongst etiquette filled married clients. there is either something lacking in their sex life that they can't even dream of asking their wife to do out of fear of being judged as bored or those who travel too much to work long and hard days away from those they love but to make the coin for those they love.....as long as my services make them go home happy, better lovers or overall less bitter due to lack of sexual tension resentment....then I have fulfilled my "consultation" duties ;-)

[Sputy 128]

So is it okay to tell my familiy members that I'm actually in sex counselling as opposed to visiting escorts?

 

If you're famous, just say that you are a sex-addict, then you get a nice 2-4 week vacation in a spa, er, I mean treatment center! :razz:

Hey SPs, just imagine how much you could make if you got a job in one of those places:shock:. Seriously if sex could be an addiction, what % of the male population would have said 'disease' -- 90%? 95%? Hell, even when we physically can't do it, we crave the drugs that would allow us to do it longer and stronger. Hmmmm, everything in moderation - does that include sex?

[a******s.m*****e 187]

I thought about embellishing once as a job title (if I really HAD to explain my job to more judgmental people) to say I'm a "sexual lifestyle/relationship-prospering consultant".

 

really its not far from the truth amongst etiquette filled married clients. there is either something lacking in their sex life that they can't even dream of asking their wife to do out of fear of being judged as bored or those who travel too much to work long and hard days away from those they love but to make the coin for those they love.....as long as my services make them go home happy, better lovers or overall less bitter due to lack of sexual tension resentment....then I have fulfilled my "consultation" duties ;-)

 

Exactly! I never understood why is "tantric massage" legal. It is nothing but erotic massage with a little hocus-pocus.

[MandalayBay 575]

If you're famous, just say that you are a sex-addict, then you get a nice 2-4 week vacation in a spa, er, I mean treatment center! :razz:

Hey SPs, just imagine how much you could make if you got a job in one of those places:shock:. Seriously if sex could be an addiction, what % of the male population would have said 'disease' -- 90%? 95%? Hell, even when we physically can't do it, we crave the drugs that would allow us to do it longer and stronger. Hmmmm, everything in moderation - does that include sex?

 

This could be a potentially brilliant business idea SPUTY. We set up a "sex treatment centre/spa" where a bunch of us CERB girls (business partners) go on a mission to completeley sexually drain every last ounce of testosterone out of the poor, hard-done-by "addicts" who come to us.

 

By the time the gentlemen are done with our style of treatment, they will be drained of all their sexuality, limp all over and go back to their normal lives feeling like neutered, a-sexual men. When that evil addictive demon called "sex drive" returns, it means another trip back to the "CERB Girls Sex Addiction Treatment Centre." It would be a rotating door!

[Mrs. Robinson 100]

Absolutely!! This almost never feels good.

[ford1976 1074]

I know this is a sex related board, and I don't mean to single out just this post (sorry Sputy), but some people seem to like to through around the term sex addict, around here. I don't like this, mainly because there people who are sex addicts, and I don't think it is acceptable to make light of other peoples problems.

 

Sexual addiction is defined as any sexually-related, compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one's work environment. A high sex drive is not sex addiction, and craving is not an addiction, these are all acceptable under a health sex life. It's when your sex life hurts the people you care about because you can not control yourself, then you are an addict, just like drug and alcohol addiction.

 

Sorry for the Friday rant, I may have just needed a rant

 

 

 

 

...... Seriously if sex could be an addiction ......

[YoungStud 468]

Good points. Thanks for making them.

[etasman2000 15994]

We set up a "sex treatment centre/spa" where a bunch of us CERB girls (business partners) go on a mission...

 

This is essentially the FKK (Frei Koerper Kultur aka nudist) sauna clubs of Germany. Since sex is a normal part of an adult lifestyle that is one of the services provided. Not sure if the concept would carry over to North America.

[coachg 388]

It would be a damn shame if that concept wouldn't fly in North America....I'm in!....But you are right, probably wouldn't fly.

[AttilaTheHun 356]

Attilla, you are right on the money. It's not more difficult than that. Inspired by a desire to have more fun with my fav, who's a bit younger that I am, I started a regular walking regimen almost a year ago.

 

Since then, with some attention to diet as well, I've gone from 238 to 194 much more fit lbs (I'm 6'0"), regularly walk 10-12 Km most days at a good pace and can usually sustain 40-50 minutes of "fun" at a time, while remaining "fully engaged". (Lol) I'm sure there are many others who can exceed that, but I'm happy to have met some of my personal goals. Heading for 185 lbs and a flat tummy. And at least as good cardio "endurance" times for "fun". Lol.

 

 

Thats great Youngstud, keep at it and you'll reach your goal. I've used this technique for years and usually start right after winter when I've put on a few extra pounds to lose some weight. As for keeping fully engaged, well I don't have a problem in this area.

 

ATH

[Annessa 22743]

I know this is a sex related board, and I don't mean to single out just this post (sorry Sputy), but some people seem to like to through around the term sex addict, around here. I don't like this, mainly because there people who are sex addicts, and I don't think it is acceptable to make light of other peoples problems.

 

Sexual addiction is defined as any sexually-related, compulsive behavior which interferes with normal living and causes severe stress on family, friends, loved ones, and one's work environment. A high sex drive is not sex addiction, and craving is not an addiction, these are all acceptable under a health sex life. It's when your sex life hurts the people you care about because you can not control yourself, then you are an addict, just like drug and alcohol addiction.

 

Sorry for the Friday rant, I may have just needed a rant

 

I have to say I fully agree on this one. whenever I read a girls ad on here that says something like "I'm a sex-addict...cure me!" I want to cringe. its almost as tasteless as bragging that your dramatic best friend is "bi-polar" or "schizo" I've had friends in my lifetime who are each both and neither is a laughing matter.

 

a very valid point and thank you for bringing this to everyone's attention, and while there are many levels to any psychological disease such as the ones I've mentioned or sexual addiction, I do believe that everyone should take special care in throwing terms like that out in conversation,