ladies: about reviews

[roamingguy 300291]

It depends which Board you are writing on. On this Board everything is sugar coated so recommendations are taken with a grain of salt, so it really doesn't matter how you do it. On the other Board you would have zero credibility if you ran it by the SP/MPA first. On the other Board, readers expect the unfiltered version;both good and bad.It doesn't mean that you can't be gentle in any criticism as everyone has feelings.

Hope this helps

 

Don't say everything is sugarcoated. Every recommendation I write isn't sugarcoated, it's the truth. The ladies I have written recommendations about I would and in some cases have seen again. I do run my recommendations by the lady first. Not because she has editorial control, but there may be something I put in which she prefers not mentioned...it was private, not for everyone to read about. And frankly I don't care about credibility on the "other board" whatever board that is.

I'm writing my recommendation for viewing on this board by this community

And yes I have had a few bad encounters, but instead of dwelling on those, and trying to find a board to post a negative review on those ladies, I chose to move on. Those few bad experiences just make me appreciate the good and great encounters I do have with the ladies of CERB

Finally, it amazes me. Maybe the encounter a guy had with a lady was not what he expected. Could that have been because of YMMV factor? Or he didn't communicate what he wanted. Or maybe she did not provide an encounter as promised. Or just plain chemistry, sometimes two people just don't click. Did the guy contact the lady via email or pm first to express his dissatisfaction with the encounter, giving her a chance to rectify the situation. Probably not. Instead a public negative review for all to see. Quite often it seems people are afraid to talk privately to one another to rectify a situation, but have no fear to anonymously post behind a board handle a negative review for all, including the lady to see, when it is too late for the lady to rectify.

A morning rambling

RG

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Other board has it advantages too, A combination is the best of the both worlds. This board is mainly to find good providers and the other is useful mainly to avoid bad ones. I know what you are saying and believe me I dislike negativity too and I hate hurtful reviews but having a bad encounter like a provider who falsely advertises her services, looks or age or resorts to bait and swicth or breaks her promises or rushes, or an uncaring money hungry or drunk or drugged provider (especially a new provider who no body knows) or the no shows time and money wasters or more importantly an unsafe encounter (like someone with a pimp around, someone who robs or fights or threats or block your way out and many examples of unsafe encounters) and moving on without speaking out about it then will create more victims in the future and those victims may well be members of the community you care about. Why I call them victims because most of us work very hard for our money and some have hard time saving for that single encounter and are really excited about it and then wasting all that on a bad provider and worse even having an unsafe provider is really unfair to say the least.

 

It was mentioned that we should do homework or research to avoid bad encounters. I couldn't agree more. But for any successful research we also need to have the best of available resources to do research and those resources in this hobby in my view absolutely includes cerb as most important step to find the potential desirable or compatible provider but in my view it also includes at terb, infact i would said especially terb to check and see if the potential compatible provider has also same compatibility on the other board where dislikes can be commented too and of course lets not forget Cowboy's diary as another good resource to avoid bad or especially B & S or unsafe encounters. I also agree completely that communications are very important. Communicate extensively with provider you wish to meet. Detail your likes and dislikes and your expectations in writting but this tachnic only works with honest providers.

[spud271 47779]

I am very much in agreement that there is room for both boards. I have always used more than one board when doing my research on who I would like to see. This goes back to when I was only seeing sp's in Montreal and would use multiple boards to seek information on a lady who had caught my attention.

 

Personally I have never really had a "bad" experience in Canada with sp's or ma's. There have been times where I have not connected with a sp, but that did not warrant going on to the other board and writing a bad review. These things happen and everyone needs to understand that, and in my view it really isn't a big deal when you do not connect with someone.

 

I write recommendations because I want to, not because I feel I have to. When I do write one, I do not put a lot of information on what happened between the sp/ma and myself because how things go for me may not be how they go for someone else. It wouldn't be right for me to write a long winded tale about what went on. All this is going to do is set other guy's expectations to be the same, and that may not turn out to be the same experience I had. That certainly would not be fair!

 

If I did run in to an extremely negative experience, I would write about it in the warnings section of this board. Make no mistake, I do not have an issue with publicly saying something if I am ripped off. I would post it on the other board and most importantly, pass the information on to Cowboy Kenny so he can post it in the Diary.

 

This is all just my opinion, of which everyone is entitled to one.

[mister_crufty 4891]

Interesting. I had one less than stellar session that I had mentioned in one of my stories here (without naming names).

 

I looked her up on the other site and what do you know? Page after page of people who had a very similar experience to me. So it wasn't me or a YMMV thing. That makes me feel a lot better actually. I'm still new to the hobby so I'm often worried I've done something wrong.

 

I think I won't make that mistake again. You're all right that reviews should be taken with a grain of salt (on both sites) but I agree that having multiple resources available is a good thing.

 

Additional Comments:

Wow, even more cool. I looked up everyone I've seen so far (it's a short list) and all the other site reviews are just like my experience. It would seem that I've been very lucky to meet some pretty awesome women so far.

 

I just hope Taylor Monroe forgives me for all my craziness when I first was getting into the hobby. She was obviously a little more than I could handle for my first time.

 

:-D

[PistolPete 61421]

As a long time member on both boards, and on the Montreal board too, but hardly use it anymore,I lurk over there and have a different handle, the one in question.

 

I find it amazing how guys over there and are members here (who might even been booted off here) have two different stories to tell about women and this board.

 

I got a name for people that act in that manner "Two Faced"

 

I use to sit back and laugh at all of the crap they were throwing this way at this board (still do, mainly it is the same culprits) and at ladies,and members of this board that post recommendation like myself, they show little lack of respect.

 

It has been said numerous times, that "GUY #1" is NOT the same as "GUY #2" , hence the YMMV, chemistry, being a gentleman gets you a lot further in this hobby. BUT not only in this hobby but in "LIFE IN GENERAL" act like an asshole with an lady, then expect to treated like one back, and in life asshole's really can be a pain in the butt.

 

Is there benefits having the 2 boards? MAYBE To a degree, its just too bad that some over there are not given the boot off there for their continued, lack of regard for "women" and then they jump down guys that may have something sensible to say.

 

This topic has come up many times, about both boards, but it is amazing that it is the same characters that stirred up shit here, that do the same over there, but I'm sure they continue to seek ladies here on this board.

 

I will laugh my ass off, when perhaps some day ALL SPs in Canada MIGHT have a reporting system as in the USA, a reference check for guys ( such as P411,Whitelist etc etc) Lets see how many of you so called gentleman get dates if that ever arises in Canada.

 

Anyways, My Sunday morning rant, but I really don't like guys that talk from both side of their mouth.

 

PEACE OUT!

[mrgreen760 37785]

All of these platforms have obvious strengths and weaknesses in my opinion. Experience has shown me to not to necessarily "buy" the recommendations or reviews I read on any of them. Personal choices and tastes tend to be so individually subjective and I've read rave recommendations and came away shaking my head afterward and I've read reviews that were very obviously mean spirited, unfair and not balanced at all.

 

So are things sugar coated....sometimes, are things mean and unfrair...sometimes. Personal due dilligence will always be the key for me.

 

Peace

MG

[Capital Hunter 18263]

Brief and to the point mrgreen. Sums it up perfectly.

 

On another note, in every debate different points of view exist and are expressed otherwise it is no debate but a collective agreement!!. A few people have expressed support for the other board (and a few who haven't but have been or admitted to have been long time members of the other board!!!) and its usefulness and that is our view. Supporting the other board does NOT mean opposing this board in any form or shape. It is just looking at both sides of the coin or debate. No body is stirring up problems here either, it is just a debate between civil adults. No body said anything differently than what has been said on terb and if it is somewhat different choice of wording or phrasing or style of writing (in between lines rather than straight out) is because of certain limitations as per rules on cerb that doesn't exist on terb regarding negativity and as I said we all have to respect that when posting here.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Well, to go back to the original point of the thread...

 

The only real thing that needs to come out of a reco is, "I saw X, and had a great time." That's all. And if that's all you choose to write... great! Sure, there are some folks who take the time to write hugely impressive accounts of what went on - and I'm sure many of us enjoy reading them - but that's of limited use, as everyone's encounter with someone is going to be a bit different. For me, what really matters about a reco is not the description of what happened (fun to read though that may be) but the simple fact that someone had fun and cared enough to say so.

 

Personally, I tend not to write very long accounts of things, or to go into any great detail about what happened... but that's simply because I choose not to. And I've also never sent a reco to the lady in question for pre-approval, mostly because I've never thought I was about to say anything that she might disapprove of - although sometimes I have asked beforehand whether she was OK with me writing a reco in the first place, as it's not always obvious.

 

As for other boards, and how they work... it's probably a good thing that there are multiple boards with different modes of operation; it means that everyone can find something that works for them, hopefully. Alas, I can't comment on specifics as I've always been quite happy with the way this place operates, and I'm therefore not on any of the other boards...

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

For me, what really matters about a reco is not the description of what happened (fun to read though that may be) but the simple fact that someone had fun and cared enough to say so.

Sadly, a large majority choose not to write anything even if it's just a reco like you mentioned above (short and no details) and even when they admit to enjoying reading recos and benefitting from them.

[fredsmith 5240]

Sadly, a large majority choose not to write anything even if it's just a reco like you mentioned above (short and no details) and even when they admit to enjoying reading recos and benefitting from them.

 

Fair comment, I will say like some ladies don't like to be reviewed/reco'd some guys don't like to write them, for different reasons. There are some very eloquent writers out there and I think it intimidates some guys because they don't think they are very good writers. But more so I think, and I could be wrong, some of us just don't like to have others know our "business", we'd like to see ladies but not advertise when or who we see.

 

True it isn't fair to read and benefit from reco's and not write them but I confess I don't usually write them. Maybe to be fair I and others should think about contributing from time to time.

[Phaedrus 209521]

There are some very eloquent writers out there and I think it intimidates some guys because they don't think they are very good writers.

 

That's what I was getting at, in a round-about way. You don't have to be a "good" writer (whatever that means) to write a worthwhile review. Nobody's judging them on literary merit.

 

But more so I think, and I could be wrong, some of us just don't like to have others know our "business", we'd like to see ladies but not advertise when or who we see.

 

Well, fair enough... but really, what does it matter? We're all adults here, and we're all here for the same reason. We all have our own preferences and peccadilloes, but we make a point of not judging these things provided everyone involved is a consenting adult. Some of us see more ladies than others, sure, but I don't think anyone thinks any less of anyone else because they see many SPs or just one, or do so daily or once in a blue moon. Or at least, if they do, I'd hope they'd be sensible enough to STFU about it :)

 

True it isn't fair to read and benefit from reco's and not write them but I confess I don't usually write them. Maybe to be fair I and others should think about contributing from time to time.

 

To some extent it's inevitable: this is an online forum, and in any online forum there will always be far more lurkers than contributors. But it's awesome whenever people do come out and post recos, whether it's the first or the hundredth, for either the poster or the lady being recommended. Which brings me back to the first point: it doesn't matter what or how much you write... just that you write something!

[roamingguy 300291]

When I started this lifestyle, writing a recommendation was difficult, only because I was raised that being intimate with a lady was private, not for public discussion. But some rules, if you will, about intimate activities in this lifestyle are different than in "civilian" life. Here, recommendations are welcomed. My first recommendations were, at least to me, awkward and uncomfortable to write. Now after a good encounter, with a lady, I enjoy writing a recommendation. No details are written. But you do know that I enjoyed the time I spent with the lady, which is the most important message to communicate. And I look at a recommendation as having a threefold purpose. First it is my way of giving a public thank you to the lady for a good escape. Second, the lady may benefit by getting a client who would now be interested in meeting her. And third, sort of the opposite side of number two, a potential client now will know of a good lady to see

So if you had a good time with a lady, say so. Not only will the lady appreciate it, there will be other gentlemen who will too. And a quick two liner will do

My two cents

RG

[mister_crufty 4891]

I guess I see two positives about writing a reco.

 

One, it's fun. I love writing and trying to find a creative way to capture and share and experience is a good challenge.

 

Two, I feel like I'm doing a good deed, praising her in public, letting the world know how much I appreciated her. So few people in any profession are praised for doing a good job on any consistent basis. Perhaps even less in service professions. I makes me feel good to think that I can write something that might help her be more successful in her profession.

[fredsmith 5240]

I appreciate your response Phaedrus, I would just add a couple of points.

 

Yes, we're all adults here, we all have our preferences (maybe fetishes) what have you but I still think there are some of us that would like to keep somewhat anonymous. It's not about being embarrassed about what we like it's about keeping it private, yes in a public forum.

 

To my knowledge I don't have any "weird fetishes" if there is such a thing, I just like to keep my stuff to myself.

 

Also, maybe I don't want SP X to know that I've seen SP Y. Maybe or probably they don't care that I see both of them but I care that they know.

 

I'm only trying to point out that there are a variety of reasons why guys don't post reco's.

 

Of course some of us/them might just be too lazy to post them as well.

 

All that said I thank the gentlemen who do post reco's, they are helpful to everyone.

[Phaedrus 209521]

I appreciate your response Phaedrus, I would just add a couple of points.

 

And thank you for continuing the conversation. It's good to talk about stuff. Especially since I'm feeling an attack of verbal diarrhea coming on :)

 

Yes, we're all adults here, we all have our preferences (maybe fetishes) what have you but I still think there are some of us that would like to keep somewhat anonymous. It's not about being embarrassed about what we like it's about keeping it private, yes in a public forum.

 

Fair enough. I appreciate that not everyone likes to discuss everything, or indeed anything. I sure as hell don't discuss everything myself :)

 

One thing to bear in mind, though: we're all anonymous here. I doubt that your name is really Fred Smith (although I'll concede it might be :) ), and you can rest assured that I'm not known as Phaedrus outside this community. The only time we every knowingly meet other CERBites is when we choose to, and when that happens we do so on an equal footing, knowing that we have a certain amount in common. The one exception is the ladies who choose to post pics of themselves containing readily-identifiable features... but to the best of my knowledge, none of us guys do that. We're all completely unknown, except to the people we've actually met.

 

Going back to the issue of embarrassment, however, I'm sure that there's quite a bit of this goes on with recos. It's noticeable that the younger ladies seem to get recos more frequently than older ones; spinners more than BBWs; and all get fewer recos as time goes by. And I think that some of this is down to the locker-room mentality; we guys are fine with everyone knowing we banged the really hot girl, but the older, less slim one? Not so much, even when we'd actually prefer the latter.

 

And if you'll forgive me ranting somewhat... this annoys me. Nobody here is going to start poking fun at, or judging, anyone else here based on what they do, or who they choose to do it with. I suspect that a lot of us guys are still somewhat intimidated by the locker-room fall-out from that time when you got drunk and made out with the person who your buddies considered unattractive... but I'd like to think that we're all long past that stage, now. I'm sure we've all been there, but haven't we grown up since?

 

Also, maybe I don't want SP X to know that I've seen SP Y. Maybe or probably they don't care that I see both of them but I care that they know.

 

Well.... this is one reason why SPs are not like wives or girlfriends :) I've always been very impressed at the extent to which SPs are happy to know that we're having fun, even if with someone else.

 

Seriously: I've never had anyone in this industry give me a hard time because I saw someone else, or didn't see her for a while. And to be honest, if that happened, it'd be a serious dis-incentive to see the SP who was giving me a hard time ever again. We are not here for that kind of girl-friend experience, and the ladies know it! On the other hand, I've had SPs mention other people that they think I should go and see.

 

Really, it can't be emphasized enough: no worthwhile SP will ever pull shit like this. Never.

 

I'm only trying to point out that there are a variety of reasons why guys don't post reco's.

 

For sure. And there are doubtless others that we haven't thought of. What I'm trying to do here is just to knock down as many of those reasons as I can :)

 

Of course some of us/them might just be too lazy to post them as well.

 

Well... I'd call it inertia, rather than laziness :) But this comes back to something I said earlier: CERB, like any other online community, has far more lurkers and consumers of information than active producers. There's nothing that can be done about this, really; it's just the way the world is.

 

But hell, perhaps the guy who appreciated my reco of a SP is the same guy who wrote the review on the car board that I found really useful last time I needed new wheels, or posted the amusing picture of a cat which just made me smile. Who knows? We can't all be productive everywhere. There just aren't enough hours in the day.

 

But this is why I keep repeating (and I'm about to do it again): all we need to hear is, "I saw X. and had a good time." That's all. A thousand-word essay is not required. The easier and less intimidating we can make it to write recos, the more we'll get, probably.

 

All that said I thank the gentlemen who do post reco's, they are helpful to everyone.

 

They are indeed. Which, of course, is why we want as many as possible :)

 

Okay. That's enough for one post. Time for a dose of verbal Immodium :)

[xxxAxxx 21016]

So I came across the DNR list. It seems like some ladies don't want reviews or discussion of them on this board. On the other hand, some actually request reviews. So I guess everyone lies somewhere on that spectrum.

 

I just read this entire thread and am slightly shocked by the above comment (particularly the bolded part) from the original post...shocked not only by the comment itself but also shocked that no one else seems to have picked up on this...Would requesting a review not be considered borderline shilling? Should SPs not treat EVERY client with the potential to be reviewed/recommended? I don't REQUEST reviews per say, but if I'm asked by a client if it is OK to post one; surely it is! But would I request it? LORD NO! Asking to be reviewed/recommended takes away from the act itself, imho. If a gentleman feels a particular lady deserves a reco, he will give her one. If it was requested by the SP, well...that just takes away the integrity. It might be a positive reco, but made on false pretenses as perhaps the gentleman never would have of his own free will as the service was perhaps mediocre and normally he only reco's those who were stellar....but since he was asked to he feels compelled....sorry, end rant.

[Guest S**a*Q]

Alexis, I totally agree with you. I think it's in extreme poor taste to ask or even hint at a reco.

 

First of all it puts the gentleman on the spot: What if he doesn't want to, but now feels obligated to do so, just cause the lady asked for it.

 

Secondly, I've been in business for 15+ years, mostly retail or service, never once have I told a customer, "Oh here's a survey regarding my store, I'd love for you to give me all 5 stars."

 

I understand women do this and it's their way of doing things, but honestly, it makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

 

To the gents: You don't have to do it, if you don't want to. Just say no.

To the ladies: If you have to ask for recos, I'm sad for you and I feel your thread of begged recos means nothing.

[mister_crufty 4891]

Whoa...hold on a second...It wasn't like that...I didn't feel like I was being pressured or anything. We were just texting a bit after I left and she said something like, "You can leave me a review if you like..."

 

I didn't feel it was in poor taste but then again, I don't really know all the rules yet either.

[xxxAxxx 21016]

A reco being made, imo, should never be brought up by the SP, only by the client when he asks if it's ok (which on a side note I think getting permission is cute but not necessary re: freedom of speech). But you're saying she simply stated permission to, that's a bit different than requesting.... I guess. But really and truly, she is being suggestive, which to me is still a form of soliciting a reco from you. Still considered to be in poor taste, by me (just mho). There are no "Rules" in this business, aside from legalities of course, every lady makes her own rules.

[Guest S**a*Q]

Whoa...hold on a second...It wasn't like that...I didn't feel like I was being pressured or anything. We were just texting a bit after I left and she said something like, "You can leave me a review if you like..."

 

I didn't feel it was in poor taste but then again, I don't really know all the rules yet either.

 

If she brought it up, I think it's terrible. Fishing for a review is in bad taste. --Shrug-- I suppose we can't all have awesome business sense.

[mister_crufty 4891]

This is what I love about this site. You wouldn't believe how supportive the people are here. I've had both regular members and SPs send me PMs, offering tips, advice and support as well.

 

What a nice bunch of people you are.

[TKDKidd 663]

Someone actually PMed me and suggested it too. That's a fantastic idea.

 

He also mentioned that being too detailed might set expectations that cannot always be met by the provider which is unfair to both client and SP.

 

I think perhaps I should stick to the style of dancing around the details. In many ways, I think that it's more challenging to say things without saying them. Teasing with words. Paint a picture in your mind rather than on the page. Fun.

 

Man I love this site. You guys are the best.

 

Anyone who expects the exact same treatment as the guy who posted a review is being silly, when have you ever been with someone and had the exact same experience, even with an old girlfriend, wife, whatever. I know that each and every encounter will be different from the person before me and the person after me. I have three regulars who I see and every time I see one of them, my experience with them is different from the last.

 

We should all understand that YMMV with each girl.

 

That being said, I believe that editing your post based on what one of the ladies on here have requested is somewhat silly as it is your own experience and if you are going to post something negative no one wants a bad review and would most likely request you not post it. Also, I do see it a lot that guys post that they did not get everything they wanted because they could not hold out. My response is not to include that in your posting, it gives it a negative connotation.

 

Most of us want to know a few things, are the pictures real, how good is the advertised service - never comparing two ladies - the damage, and if she is worth a repeat.

[mister_crufty 4891]

It was more a stylistic thing rather than a content thing. Some ladies might prefer a more nuanced style of writing is all. I try to be accommodating.

 

In any event, my style of review is less about the nitty gritty anyway. I'm more interested in conveying the little details that stood out for me which are not necessarily directly related to the sex of it. These reviews are kind a memoir for me, my sex diary. A way of writing about the experience such that it takes me back to the moment. How I felt at the time. I consider them intensely personal and it's only the anonymity of this board that allows me to share them.

 

I'm sure that many people don't like them or won't read them but that's okay. They're for me anyway. I'm sure the hard drives of this server can manage to hold my little stories.

[fortunateone 156618]

If she brought it up, I think it's terrible. Fishing for a review is in bad taste. --Shrug-- I suppose we can't all have awesome business sense.

 

 

Not to mention the two possible scenarios: he agrees but doesn't post one, and he agrees but it is at best luke warm or gives misleading and/or inaccurate information.