Why do I not feel bad about this?

[mister_crufty 4891]

Philosophical discussion time.

 

I expected to feel a certain way about going to providers. I'm married but I can't get sex so I'm forced to pay for it. Even if I wasn't married, based on past experience, I probably wouldn't have much luck either.

 

So I pay. I pay rather a lot of money when you think about how much of other types of entertainment cost per hour.

 

Two or three visits is a years gym membership.

 

Five or six is a week at an all-inclusive.

 

But I don't feel bad. I don't feel like a failure as a man, a pathetic person who can't get laid except because he has money in his wallet.

 

After a magic session with a wonderful lady I feel fantastic. My self esteem is through the roof. I've had a session which wasn't so great that left me with buyers remorse and feeling a bit bad but mostly, it's just awesome.

 

Why? It doesn't make sense to me. I'm so happy that I can afford to spend time with hot sexy women who would never have time for me in the real world that the fact that it's a business transaction doesn't bother me at all.

 

I almost feel like I'd rather do this than bother with the pain and hassle of real relationships.

[fredsmith 5240]

Why do you not feel bad about it? Because you're a Man baby yeaaa!

 

Seriously, we need sex, it's in our DNA. Also, variety is the spice of life. As long as you control your hobby and your hobby does not control you I think you'll be ok.

[DukeSSk 3430]

I think it's because, as men, we have natural desires and impulses regarding intimacy, combined with the you only live once mentality.

 

Just a thought.

 

P.S. This discussion would get more traffic over in the General Discussion page, if that's what you're expecting.

[star99 4852]

i feel the same way mister, im not married (not familar with the term lol) never have, and never ever will!!!

 

but it kinda sucks that in order for me to get laid, i have to pay for it. but its whats inside that counts, and im fine with doing this hobby. ive met more than a few great ladies here, and plan to meet more in the future :)

[mister_crufty 4891]

Nice! Read that in Austin Powers voice.

 

I agree though. Right now I'm running at a pretty hot burn rate because it's so new but economics are going to force a slow down soon. Hopefully I'll get the initial rush out of my system and settle down.

 

Why do you not feel bad about it? Because you're a Man baby yeaaa!

 

Seriously, we need sex, it's in our DNA. Also, variety is the spice of life. As long as you control your hobby and your hobby does not control you I think you'll be ok.

 

Additional Comments:

Ooh. Good point. I've been sticking to the Ottawa boards without exploring the rest of the site. Sorry if I've been hijacking the forum.

 

P.S. This discussion would get more traffic over in the General Discussion page, if that's what you're expecting.

[DukeSSk 3430]

Additional Comments:

Ooh. Good point. I've been sticking to the Ottawa boards without exploring the rest of the site. Sorry if I've been hijacking the forum.

 

No worries, not a big deal.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

The reason for paying for date (and I pay for date and sex may or may not come with it) is not only limited to lack of ability to find date or get laid. They could be many other reasons like

 

1-someone maybe too pre-occupied with work and life who as a result may not have time to invest in finding dates though may have good looks and the ability to do so,

2-One may hobby for variety to see different ladies of different looks and ages and races and cultures and enjoy life to the fullest.

3- Or it may be because in his middle age it may be relatively difficult to socialize with ladies half his age in early 20's and go out with them in public for romance.

4 - Or maybe in an unhappy relationship and one who needs to get what he cannot get from that relationship.

5 - To deal with dialy stress of work and life.

6 - some or all of above.

 

There are many reasons some of which may not be a failure on hobbyist part So no reason to feel bad about hobbying.

[mister_crufty 4891]

I wonder what the economic analysis is for 'real' dating vs. seeing providers?

 

Sex isn't free...if you have to wine and dine and spend time doing shit you don't want to do in order to get laid, how much does it cost you in time, money and effort? What is 'the cost per fuck' so to speak?

 

I'm think that providers are probably quite competitive opportunity-cost wise with trying to maintain an active dating life.

 

Plus there's the whole, "you get what you pay for". With a known provider, I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to get for my money. With a date, YMMV becomes YMWVAL....your mileage WILL vary A LOT!

[fredsmith 5240]

I agree with CH one thing I would add to his list is when you pay for a date as long as you do your research you take the guesswork/stress out of the date, you should know what to expect as long as you are a gentleman.

[Capital Hunter 18263]

I wonder what the economic analysis is for 'real' dating vs. seeing providers?!

 

A win-win situation so no reason to feel bad:

 

I see both as one and same. The former, one will have to wine and dine and buy presents and likely a lot more (if living together) and the latter some cash in an envelop as a compensation for her time. I treat providers as like my dates and guests in my house and somebody's daughters with full respect and considerate for their comfort and well being while my guests just like I do for any date. The end result is happiness and good time in life. It is a win-win situation as most cases providers will use up the donation to better their lives or get education or provide for families and we get good time in return. No reason to feel bad at all as long as (and this is the key point) the provider is in this by her own choice or don't use the money on drugs or wastes.

[Areez 11906]

Of course as a hobbyist one should not feel bad about this...

or it would defeat the whole definition of the word!

 

 

Hob.by:

 

A hobby is a regular activity or interest that is undertaken for pleasure, typically done during one's leisure time. Engaging in a hobby can lead to acquiring substantial skill, knowledge and experience. [Wikipedia]

 

 

In my case, I truly do enjoy my experiences and boy they are definitely pleasurable. Could I pick up travelling as a hobby -- yes, but I choose not to ... although I do think I should go to the gym again!

[mister_crufty 4891]

I treat providers as like my dates and guests in my house and somebody's daughters with full respect and considerate for their comfort and well being while my guests just like I do for any date.

 

This! I find it amazing that every woman has to post big warnings saying, "Don't show up dirty or stinky or whatever."

 

Seriously, WTF? I could never imagine showing up to meet ANY woman being any less than my best. I'm going to be clean, nice smelling, well dressed, polite and on time or die trying. I can't imagine what some guys could possibly be thinking.

[waterat 20911]

.....I can't imagine what some guys could possibly be thinking.

 

Yes. That is the problem. They're not thinking!!!

[roamingguy 300291]

Why would I feel bad, this is a mutually beneficial lifestyle, or should be.

For the lady, she gets compensation for her time (I never forget that for the lady this is her livelihood) not to mention, at least with me, she also gets a gift and tip

For me, I get companionship with no relationship complications or strings attached

And for the time we are together, hopefully both the lady and myself are having a good time

As for what other people think, frankly why would I care what other people think.

RG

[LeeRichards 177238]

I wonder what the economic analysis is for 'real' dating vs. seeing providers?

 

Sex isn't free...if you have to wine and dine and spend time doing shit you don't want to do in order to get laid, how much does it cost you in time, money and effort? What is 'the cost per fuck' so to speak?

 

I'm think that providers are probably quite competitive opportunity-cost wise with trying to maintain an active dating life.

 

Plus there's the whole, "you get what you pay for". With a known provider, I have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to get for my money. With a date, YMMV becomes YMWVAL....your mileage WILL vary A LOT!

 

Okey dokey .... I don't over analyse ....make your decision to see an SP .. enjoy and live with it as one of life's good decisions :)

 

So.....MY "cost per fuck" never really thought about it and don't care

 

My neighbor's 20 year old son just became a father Xmas day after dating a girl for just 6 months prior to her getting pregnant .......both only half way through college.

 

and an affair between two married folks I know in their 30's resulted in a pregnancy and the husband of the pregnant wife was "fixed". It's nasty now.

 

I wonder what their "cost per fuck" will end up to be ???

[Andee 220524]

Okey dokey .... I don't over analyse ....make your decision to see an SP .. enjoy and live with it as one of life's good decisions :)

 

So.....MY "cost per fuck" never really thought about it and don't care

 

My neighbor's 20 year old son just became a father Xmas day after dating a girl for just 6 months prior to her getting pregnant .......both only half way through college.

 

and an affair between two married folks I know in their 30's resulted in a pregnancy and the husband of the pregnant wife was "fixed". It's nasty now.

 

I wonder what their "cost per fuck" will end up to be ???

 

I think I read somewhere that it cost Sir Paul McCartney something like $300K per day to be married to Heather Mills.

[BootyLoving 2441]

Froyd says deep down, you do feel bad. Now feel better knowing you feel bad.Your a bad boy. Bad bad bad. Naughty naughty naughty...

 

 

Shame on you. You've been up to no good. Your regretting that you've spent money. We're guys, it's ok to resent spending money.

 

 

But if you have to pick the lesser of the two evil, and a free date attempt just didn't work out, and you have a biological urge to fulfill. A willing lady is what you need. Here, there exist such ladies ready and willing to lend a hand. Personally, night scene pickup at clubs and other venue are feasible, and feels good every once in a while. But it feels bad to have to send her away in the morning each time. Averaged out, the cost are similar, with escorts being cheaper, and requiring you to drink less. So healthier and safer for the public, since I don't have to be DUI driving the girl back to my place or hers. Nor am I a hazard to society.

 

 

More often than not, escorts quickly resolve a biological road block which bothers us so we can continue to move forward and be productive. With much less drama.

[MNO4 789]

im not so sure i think that this ja not always happy choice for the sp. I just had an email exchange with a well reviewed so. Complicated story but through the course of the emails came out concepts of stress and suicidality. She said " she would rather e playing with we sibs than synonym some married guy off ).

 

I don't do this often. Refrain from younger sps to decrease the chances of this. I think some make an educated lifestyle choice but some sps do this more because they have to and not really because its their first career choice

 

Might be unpopular to post this here

But maybe a little potential guilt is in order

[mister_crufty 4891]

im not so sure i think that this ja not always happy choice for the sp. I just had an email exchange with a well reviewed so. Complicated story but through the course of the emails came out concepts of stress and suicidality. She said " she would rather e playing with we sibs than synonym some married guy off ).

 

I don't do this often. Refrain from younger sps to decrease the chances of this. I think some make an educated lifestyle choice but some sps do this more because they have to and not really because its their first career choice

 

Might be unpopular to post this here

But maybe a little potential guilt is in order

 

Interesting point. I had posted some very similar thoughts in another post:

 

http://cerb.ca/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=423476&postcount=25

 

I think I would feel very guilty if I thought the provider was doing it for other reasons than because they enjoyed the work. But then again, you can't assume. Someone might just be having a bad day. I prefer to spread joy however so I always hope the experience is good for the provider as well.

[Andee 220524]

It's interesting because I never say to myself "I don't know why I don't feel bad about being an SP". I just don't and never have. If I did, I wouldn't doing what I'm doing.

 

So if you're hobbying and feeling bad, perhaps you shouldn't do it.

 

If you're hobbying and you don't feel bad, then you have nothing to worry about.

 

Enjoy!

[mister_crufty 4891]

It's interesting because I never say to myself "I don't know why I don't feel bad about being an SP". I just don't and never have. If I did, I wouldn't doing what I'm doing.

 

So if you're hobbying and feeling bad, perhaps you shouldn't do it.

 

If you're hobbying and you don't feel bad, then you have nothing to worry about.

 

Enjoy!

 

Awesome simplification. Clearly I have nothing to worry about. It's just interesting that I was so wrong about what I PREDICTED my feelings would be.

 

Reminds me of the XKCD comic.

 

I clearly don't even understand myself so how can I possibly hope to understand others?

[piano8950 32577]

There will be some that'll spend a million to buy this

 

 

 

When they could get this for a fifth of the price

 

 

Which is a lot of gym memberships and all inclusive vacations, as well as time with an escort. I doubt people would fault someone with the means to pick the more expensive one over the other. I guess my point being is that there are far more expensive discretionary spending options for an individual to choose from. Spending money on those I think wouldn't warrant a question like this imo.

 

So in a nut shell, I don't know you so this is my guess, but maybe you don't feel bad because the experience is worth the money you spent and a lot more.

[mister_crufty 4891]

That's exactly it. I just didn't realize what a great experience it would be. I wouldn't say I didn't LIKE sex before but I didn't realize just how bloody freaking ridiculously awesomely amazing it could be with some of the ladies here. I don't think I've ever actually had good sex before. What a waste of a life.

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

What a waste of a life.

It's not a waste if you realise what you have been missing, make changes and start enjoying life the way you want...

 

One of my favorite quotes:

Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. -Nido Qubein

 

Cheers xox

[lipualipua 4704]

@MNO4,you wrote :"but some sps do this more because they have to and not really because its their first career choice".

Please interview "civilians"and find out how many are in the jobs of their first choice. You just might be surprised. It is a mark of wisdom and maturity to realise that, as a certain "bad" boy sang "you can't always get what you want" and then proceed to find what you can actually do next and do it without resentment. So long as you are earning an honest living ( in the eyes of the law, and yes, escorting is a legitimate, honest job), there is no reason to feel less of a human being. Society is so full of hypocrisy. How many civilian women sleep with their bosses to gain promotions? We in Ontario were just witnesses to the ORNGE scandal. And who can forget Jeffrey Skilling of ENRON fame ( or rather INFAMY) who created a position paying 600,000 a year for his girlfriend, an amount 10 times what she was previously earning in the company? Man must survive and there is nothing wrong with surviving on honest employment.