VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 Being a woman, I have to use toilet paper however many times a day that I go to the washroom and so I have a few things to think about when purchasing toilet paper. Do I go with the cheap, scratchy kind? Or, do I go with the more expensive, softer kind, which leaves those nasty little bits of TP behind? It's a conundrum. My lady bits are sensitive, would you like wiping with pseudo-sandpaper? I don't think so. But those little bits of TP that get left behind with the softer stuff are so gross and annoying! Excuse me, while I wipe a second time with a baby wipe just to clean off the mess left by the TP. I have come across this phenomenon with guys as well, I know some of you like to dab! The softer kind gets stuck to the end, and you have to pick it off before you can stick the cock in your mouth. I mean, who wants to get pee-soaked bits of dried out TP in their mouth? Definitely not me. Also, Tim Horton's toilet paper is the bane of my existence. Individual one-ply sheets? How cheap are you?! I have to pull out about six sheets before I have enough to wipe myself without my fingers ripping through. And sometimes, on long road trips, it's a number two. I want to be able to rely on the strength of my TP. So, in summation, I am unsatisfied with the state of toilet paper these days. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 Funny! I remember back when public restrooms all had little chrome dispensers with little square sheets! You had to take a few, layer them then krinkle them up a few times or you'd be sanding your ass instead of wiping it! Perhaps Erin you'd like to go back to the Victorian days of using a wet facecloth? Or maybe you need a bidet, they're pretty cool! I've seen a few in some homes lately, I think they're making a comeback..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 Funny! I remember back when public restrooms all had little chrome dispensers with little square sheets! You had to take a few, layer them then krinkle them up a few times or you'd be sanding your ass instead of wiping it! Perhaps Erin you'd like to go back to the Victorian days of using a wet facecloth? Or maybe you need a bidet, they're pretty cool! I've seen a few in some homes lately, I think they're making a comeback..... I'm down with a wet facecloth, but then, I'd have to do a lot of extra laundry. I think baby wipes are still the most effective, but honestly, I'll probably still use toilet paper and just complain about it. Haha. Oh and I love that avatar. Wasn't it the cover of a book by David Sedaris? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buggernot 588 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 Every time I rip the condom off - and I mean every fucking time - I saunter into the bathroom and dab my dick with toilet paper to 'clean' it off. And I know the outcome is always having a papier mache penis but I still do it. And on an unrelated note, I always wrap up a night in uber class style by scoffing a bag of microwave popcorn after the lady leaves and before I go to bed. And halfway through I remember I didn't wash my hands from the previous sloppy encounter. I think I'm like that guy from that Memento flick or something... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Annessa 22743 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 LOL....papier mache penis *giggle* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 Every time I rip the condom off - and I mean every fucking time - I saunter into the bathroom and dab my dick with toilet paper to 'clean' it off. And I know the outcome is always having a papier mache penis but I still do it. And on an unrelated note, I always wrap up a night in uber class style by scoffing a bag of microwave popcorn after the lady leaves and before I go to bed. And halfway through I remember I didn't wash my hands from the previous sloppy encounter. I think I'm like that guy from that Memento flick or something... Yeah, I don't think he was eating jism-flavoured popcorn. :P Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andee 220524 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 There was an escort (now retired) a bubbly blonde SP who's initial started with the letter "S" who worked off Scott Street here in Ottawa and retired about 4 or 5 years ago. She NEVER used toilet paper. The reason I know this is because, is because I befriended her and she made it a point to to promote the virtues of NOT using toilet paper (especially for women), saying it was terrible stuff, often laced with perfume or dyes, interfering with one's natural balance "down there". At home and at her in-call place, she would keep a cup in the bathroom used solely for the purpose of a what you might call a "manual bidet". She would fill the cup with water from the sink and pour it over her privates whilst sitting on the toilet. At home, her family knew that that cup stayed in the bathroom at all times, never to be taken in a round up of dishes and was later heard wailing from the upstairs bathroom, stranded on the toilet with no cup. Last I heard, she actually posted "hands off" notes in each bathroom reminding future offenders. She said it was more hygenic. I am not sure what she did to dry herself, but I know it was not toilet paper because at her in-call location for example, she would sometimes forget to buy some for the poor client or visiting girlfirend who might not share in her enthusiasm to splash themselves after doing their business. Being shaved, perhaps she did not drip like someone who isn't shaved. I think the unscented baby wipes also available were for messier clean-ups. What I am wondering is if a client ever mistakenly took her pouring cup for a drinking cup....I never suggested it...but I thought she should have kept the cup out of site. She always kept a dixie cup in her bag so she could take her "bidet" on the road. She said that is how she taught her daughter to wipe herself. SO there is ...a solution and an SP invented it. This story is true, however I might have embellished a few facts for the humour aspect..or not. I will have to ask Carrie Moon to read this and correct me if I exagerated a bit because she knew her too and knows more about the missing cup incident than me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Goldfinger 2287 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 Hey can some one tell me how the hell the 3 shell system works !! If anyone gets that reference ! Posted via Mobile Device Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest gagagaga Report post Posted June 11, 2009 It actually drove me nuts that they never explained it!! I want to know how the 3 shell sysytem works too!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 Oh and I love that avatar. Wasn't it the cover of a book by David Sedaris? You always seem to like my Avatars! It's a Van Gogh painting, Skull with Cigarette. I wish I owned it! Paper Mache...hahaha...I understand completely! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antlerman 17064 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 Hey can some one tell me how the hell the 3 shell system works !! If anyone gets that reference ! Posted via Mobile Device Ahhh...crap...you beat me to that one........ And you really do not know how the 3 shells work....hahahahaha...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 What are you guys talking about? It can't possibly have anything to do with Ahhh...crap...you beat me to that one........ And you really do not know how the 3 shells work....hahahahaha...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carrie Moon 68826 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 3shell? I'm completely befuddled on that one too.. and no Angela I don't quite recall the cup incident.. sorry getting senile in my milfy years :) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Parker 19761 Report post Posted June 11, 2009 (edited) Three shells... For some reason Demolition Man pops into mind... probably not that one though. The guy goes to use the bathroom and instead of toilet paper there are three shells. ... I'm not sure if they're ever explained. xx Edited June 11, 2009 by Parker spelling Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Loki318 1631 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 Without going into the details a recent operation has left me with a lot of sympathy for you ladies in this dept..... All the man parts are still there and working fine :) but the is also some very girl acting parts there ... any way.. I use a dry wash cloth not a wet one to catch the after drip :) I tried totally shaved,(sort of a male "Brazilian"),then trimmed and am now letting it grow yuck!, I cannot stand peeing through my hair..!!! I think partially shaved and trimmed will be it ... Unscented baby wipes? do they have an alcohol base? Loki318 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Scarlett 25073 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 Without going into the details a recent operation has left me with a lot of sympathy for you ladies in this dept..... All the man parts are still there and working fine :) but the is also some very girl acting parts there ... any way.. I use a dry wash cloth not a wet one to catch the after drip :) I tried totally shaved,(sort of a male "Brazilian"),then trimmed and am now letting it grow yuck!, I cannot stand peeing through my hair..!!! I think partially shaved and trimmed will be it ... Unscented baby wipes? do they have an alcohol base? Loki318 I use baby wipes and no most of them are alcohol FREE! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 Hey can some one tell me how the hell the 3 shell system works !! If anyone gets that reference ! Posted via Mobile Device We're talking Demolition Man right? Now that you mention it, I want to know as well! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 The 3 shells are for scooping shit out of your ass. It is written. See for yourself. http://www.stupidquestionsanswered.com/answered/shells.htm 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VedaSloan 119179 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 There was an escort (now retired) a bubbly blonde SP who's initial started with the letter "S" who worked off Scott Street here in Ottawa and retired about 4 or 5 years ago. She NEVER used toilet paper. The reason I know this is because, is because I befriended her and she made it a point to to promote the virtues of NOT using toilet paper (especially for women), saying it was terrible stuff, often laced with perfume or dyes, interfering with one's natural balance "down there". At home and at her in-call place, she would keep a cup in the bathroom used solely for the purpose of a what you might call a "manual bidet". She would fill the cup with water from the sink and pour it over her privates whilst sitting on the toilet. At home, her family knew that that cup stayed in the bathroom at all times, never to be taken in a round up of dishes and was later heard wailing from the upstairs bathroom, stranded on the toilet with no cup. Last I heard, she actually posted "hands off" notes in each bathroom reminding future offenders. She said it was more hygenic. I am not sure what she did to dry herself, but I know it was not toilet paper because at her in-call location for example, she would sometimes forget to buy some for the poor client or visiting girlfirend who might not share in her enthusiasm to splash themselves after doing their business. Being shaved, perhaps she did not drip like someone who isn't shaved. I think the unscented baby wipes also available were for messier clean-ups. What I am wondering is if a client ever mistakenly took her pouring cup for a drinking cup....I never suggested it...but I thought she should have kept the cup out of site. She always kept a dixie cup in her bag so she could take her "bidet" on the road. She said that is how she taught her daughter to wipe herself. SO there is ...a solution and an SP invented it. This story is true, however I might have embellished a few facts for the humour aspect..or not. I will have to ask Carrie Moon to read this and correct me if I exagerated a bit because she knew her too and knows more about the missing cup incident than me. That's a great story, I love it! It's tempting, but I am not a fan of the drip-dry. The 3 shells are for scooping shit out of your ass. It is written. See for yourself. http://www.stupidquestionsanswered.com/answered/shells.htm Yes, you rule! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoyfulC 132299 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 I had the pleasure of living in a home equipped with a bidet for three years, and it was SHEER HEAVEN. What is wrong with us here in North America that we don't have bidets in every home? Here we are with our iphones, netbooks, bluetooth devices yet when it comes to the potty, we might as well be living in caves. Neither bathroom where I live now is large enough to install a proper bidet, but I've been looking at some of those toilet-mounted ones. I found one that looks like it might work, but I don't see any evidence of an in-line water heater. That was one problem with the traditional bidet -- took a while for the hot water to come up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
capitalman 3861 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 I stayed at a place in Cuba that had one. It was scary to try it, but like you say, it was sheer heaven! :) And I'm a guy!! I see market potential for a toilet/bidet combo unit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
antlerman 17064 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 ......................I see market potential for a toilet/bidet combo unit. http://www.waleg.com/techgadgets/archives/003354.html Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest gagagaga Report post Posted June 12, 2009 pretty cool, but I still prefer the 3 shell system Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Redseductress 9358 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 I use femine cleansing cloths for wiping. I personally get the life brand from shoppers but they can be found other places in all types of brands. They are flushable, alchol free and have aloe and vitamin E so they are soft and soothing. They dont do a great job drying but as I am naturaly always wet so it dosent bother me, but you could easily have one soft hand towel/wash cloth you use to pat dry if it bothers you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoyfulC 132299 Report post Posted June 12, 2009 On YouTube, there are all kinds of whacky Korean ads for bidets, including LooLoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
