SP-only poll: bbbj

[whiteman 14028]

The other poll is just too jumbled up with customer and service provider opinions to be useful any longer. One of the issues that has come up in the other poll is the fact that some SP's feel like they're being pressured into providing services that they would otherwise not provide. But what's not entirely clear is why they may feel this pressure?

 

So here's yet another poll, specifically only for the ladies (and of course any TS-providers are included here too). Customers should refrain from voting here, it's also in your own best interests to let the poll remain unskewed.

[Guest]

I'm on the fence about bbbj due to the potential heath risks. I'm indifferent about bbbj's at this time. The question I selected does not apply to me because I feel pressured to provide bbbj due to clients and supply and demand. I must say the pressures I feel to provide bbbj will have nothing to do with the decision to go forward with this service or not, in the end. Pressure in this business is only part of the deciding factor for the bbbj, imo, there's much more to think about when making a decision about bbbj, for example the risks involved, my comfort level, the type of clients I want. So I'm elaborating because I feel the questions asked did not fit me as an individual. The closest question that fit me as a person is the one I posted below. If it comes to the point that I really, really, don't want to provide bbbj I will stop.

 

I wish I didn't provide BBBJ, but some of my customers have said they won't see me

[Meg O'Ryan 266446]

I am one stubborn bitch and will do what I please and never bow down to pressure. I am what I am and like me or not is your choice to see me or not and vice versa :). Peace!

[Gabriella Laurence 301887]

This might not be a popular opinion and has the potential to offend some ladies but, from where I stand, I feel like it has to be said.

 

Ladies, YOU are the one putting pressure on yourselves!

If you do not want to offer a service, DON'T! It's that simple!

 

Fact is, there are many successful SPs in this industry who only provide CBJs. I will not mention names because it is not my place to do so but if you do some research, you will find what you are looking for.

 

Supply and demand: it is up to you to advertise and find your niche market; by having a niche market, you might no longer be reaching out to and/or appeal to the masses, the ones who have to have BBBJs BUT you will definitely find gentlemen YOU are compatible with and therefore, enjoy yourself that much more. Most gentlemen are great and will still see you even if you are offering a different type of service (please note I didn't say a lesser service) when it comes to oral. Most even prefer the whole experience over one single specific act.

 

Ladies, have some confidence in yourselves! You are all great SPs/Companions who deserve to feel at peace when spending time with someone. Find your niche market and rock their world!

[Studio 110 by Sophia 150335]

I had noticed a difference from when I did offer BBBJ to the time I decided not to:(

 

Many of them said " ohh baby you did before...blah blah"

I would explain that I have different thoughts now, and also have an SO to protect as well.....then....poof they were gone, or I felt pressure to maintain that with those particular people for a short time.

 

Eventually they left my client list, but then again I did gain some. Lost more than saved tho:(

 

Now none of this is a topic for me, as I now provide hands only massage;)

But is a topic none the less, as an agent I try to educate and provide no- stress atmosphere for the ladies to depend on.

[Guest]

I know you were talking in a general sense Gabriella but I feel very confident in who I am and the service I provide. Just because I might have a period of time where I am rethinking things, does not mean that I'm not a happy, healthy, confident escort, who is excited to see her clients. It doesn't mean that any other escorts who feel what I am feeling are not confident or happy either. It just means that there's a period of time where I am or they are reconsidering things and there's nothing wrong with that. (I can only talk for myself). Feeling pressured for any reason is part of our jobs territory(i.m.o., or else escorts would not choose that they felt pressured on any poll), just like no shows, or any other client problem. I don't see being honest about a topic like this as having lack of confidence but as providing insight to why some escorts might feel pressured.

 

In the end if you are doing something your not happy with, the onus is on you. I do agree that there's a market for everyone. So it's deciding what works best for you as an individual.

[Guest f***nds4f**]

Believe or not, I met a SP who refused to provide cbj to me, bbbj only. She said she hate the taste of rubber.

[Alyssa Staxxx 4412]

I have only ever provided CBJs and have never considered this a "niche market"...its simply a safer way to service and appeal to the masses....

 

What really shocks me is the emotional and angry responses from clients who assume a CBJ is a lesser service somehow (and an SPs time is worth less because of it) as opposed to a safer service?? It really baffles me.

[mod 135644]

Keep the discussions calm and respectful. I am getting requests to close these threads cause they are getting nasty. Its a touchy subject and anyone who can not discuss these issues calmly should stay off the threads. I will suspend anyone i find being nasty, rude, hostile or negative for a minimum of 7 days. I dont want to close these threads so consider this the one and only warning.

 

Hostility has no place on cerb.

[LuxeMulvari 65765]

just curious,

 

Are Sp's only allowed to vote on this or can anyone click the poll?

[livefast1098 2151]

Dear Mod,

I would have to disagree with your assessment of the situation. I have followed my BBFS thread and Peachys BBBJ thread from start to finish and don't see where it is becoming out of control ... long in the tooth maybe (lol) but nasty???

 

Yes there as been some asinine comments about our lovely ladies reducing their rates to compensate for no BBBj service and I can see how they would take offence to such comments. Some might even have taken a harsher than normal tone to express this but never out of control IMO.

 

For a newbie like me I found the discussions, for the most part, to be very informative, healthy and helpful. It also seemed to be a very passionate subject for most ladies on this site and I think (I might be wrong here?) seemed to help liberate some pent up frustrations on certain aspects of their work.

 

To echo another posters opinion on the direction the discussions were heading: "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen!". Nobody forces anybody on here to join or read specific threads.

 

That's my 2 cents!

[Luckyme 41401]

just curious,

 

Are Sp's only allowed to vote on this or can anyone click the poll?

 

The OP states " ... specifically only for the ladies (and of course any TS-providers are included here too). Customers should refrain from voting here, it's also in your own best interests to let the poll remain unskewed."

 

I assume by ladies, he meant females SPs. Of course, I think anyone can still click on the poll - but that's not the intend of the poll.

[phytorian 100]

I believe any lady can vote on this one no matter what kind of service you provide. It is up to you ladies to accept or not BBBJ service. Reality is that you can lose clients but at the end it is your decision. Yeah, we as men can be pushy... remember that we do not think with the correct head at that moment :dncdick:

 

Cheers,

 

P.

[whiteman 14028]

The OP states " ... specifically only for the ladies (and of course any TS-providers are included here too). Customers should refrain from voting here, it's also in your own best interests to let the poll remain unskewed."

 

I assume by ladies, he meant females SPs. Of course, I think anyone can still click on the poll - but that's not the intend of the poll.

Exactly right Lucky, only providers should vote in here, clients should stay out of voting here, though they are free to make comments in here. Of course, there's no way to prevent a client from voting in here either, but clients need to know the results of this poll just as much as the SP's, so I trust that they will not do anything to skew the results. Clients should bypass the voting and click on the "see results" link instead.

[Lexy Grace 103697]

I wish I didn't provide BBBJ, but some of my customers have said they won't see me

 

This statement really saddens me Peachy. You should never be put in that situation, although it happens all the time and many won't speak up about it but you had the courage to do so.

If your clients have said directly to you, that they will not see you anymore if you no longer offer BBBJ, I myself would have ended the business relationship right then.

They should respect your choice if you choose not to offer it anymore and clearly by making that statement they don't respect your possible choice or you. I don't play games and will never be bullied or pressured to do something I don't want to and if anyone was to try, I will cut all ties to that person quick.

Whatever you decide there are many ladies that are here for you and will support your choice and many who do not provide BBBJ and do just fine.

 

All my love and support,

Lexy

[Guest]

I'm on the fence about bbbj due to the potential heath risks. I'm indifferent about bbbj's at this time. The question I selected does not apply to me because I feel pressured to provide bbbj due to clients and supply and demand. I must say the pressures I feel to provide bbbj will have nothing to do with the decision to go forward with this service or not, in the end. Pressure in this business is only part of the deciding factor for the bbbj, imo, there's much more to think about when making a decision about bbbj, for example the risks involved, my comfort level, the type of clients I want. So I'm elaborating because I feel the questions asked did not fit me as an individual. The closest question that fit me as a person is the one I posted below. If it comes to the point that I really, really, don't want to provide bbbj I will stop.

 

I wish I didn't provide BBBJ, but some of my customers have said they won't see me

 

Lexy, thank you for providing your thoughts and your support. I really would like to read more statements about how some of the other ladies feel pressured. I understand that some ladies might be worried about loosing clients by expressing how they truly feel or some ladies don't want to appear vulgar or abrasive by taking part of a topic that may be viewed as controversial.

 

I must say that I have great clients that treat me very well and I appreciate how they truly treat me like a lady. However, I have been pressured. I don't feel like getting into details because I view this as a private matter. I have my own way of dealing with this. I think that some clients are not intentionally applying pressure and that's one thing. There's clients that are just plain pushy and they automatically go straight to my blacklist page.

 

I am adding all of my other post to this because it truly explains how I'm feeling about this particular matter. As I stated before I don't think the questions particularly suite me as an escort. I don't wish that I didn't provide bbbj's, I'm indifferent about bbbj's due to the risks involved. To be honest, I do love giving bbbj's. I am just weighing out the risks involved with providing bbbj's. I mean there's also risks involved with kissing/daty and I will never remove those from my list of services. I have been pressured by clients about bbbj's amongst other things but in the end I would never let any client(s) push me around. So the question, I wish I didn't provide BBBJ, but some of my customers have said they won't see me, suites me the best but doesn't necessarily fully describe me as an escort.

 

I do think that escorts have a certain pressure placed upon them to provide bbbj. The pressure can be direct or indirect but I do feel like there is some pressure there. I think it is very important to talk about this. Irregardless if the escort provides bbbj or cbj she deserves the same amount of respect. A ladies price should never be questioned. A client should also never ask an escort who provides cbj's if she will provide a bbbj to him. It is just a respect thing to me.

[SamanthaEvans 166768]

I really would like to read more statements about how some of the other ladies feel pressured. I understand that some ladies might be worried about loosing clients by expressing how they truly feel or some ladies don't want to appear vulgar or abrasive by taking part of a topic that may be viewed as controversial.

 

I don't mind talking about this openly, Peachy. When I started to work, no one ever inquired about BBBJs before meeting me and I was never urged to forgo the condom when the meeting was underway. The gentlemen I saw and I might occasionally make a wry comment about it being a shame that the condom was necessary, but there was no manipulation involved. I don't think that my clients would have been happy if I'd suggested going ahead without the cover. By contrast, in my personal life, some of the men I dated were initially surprised when I reached for a condom before we were ready to have intercourse. They weren't offended; they simply didn't have any idea that oral sex might be a concern for either of us. They'd always had uncovered oral sex.

 

That was over a decade ago.

 

I've always worked independently and I've always done my own screening. I've generally been a low-volume companion, but even when I entertained more often, using condoms wasn't an issue for the first few years.

 

Many things changed when I moved to Vancouver about five years ago. I needed to build a new client base, so I saw more people for quite awhile. I didn't have a website until I moved here. I advertised in print. In Toronto, I nearly always worked from hotels, but in Vancouver I've only done that a handful of times, though I do make outcall visits fairly often. I have more American clients, here, probably because we're much closer to the border and because many people travel up and down the coast all the time. I have clients from Ontario who come to Vancouver on business periodically, including two of my original clients.

 

I have never offered BBBJs and have always made it clear in my advertising, phone conversations and e-mail that I will use condoms for everything. This began to be a deal-breaker for many prospective clients, which surprised me. Syphilis has been common in Vancouver for a very long time, was classified as an epidemic in the mid-1990s and has only recently begun to decline. The strains of syphilis, here, are notable for producing no symptoms in most people who contract it, which is one reason it spreads so easily.

 

I no longer see anyone under 40 because I don't need to. I received considerable pressure not to use condoms for oral from younger, unmarried men. A lot of them declined to meet me, which was fine. But many of them tried to re-negotiate things after we were together in person, using the heat of the moment as an excuse, or stressing that they were "obviously clean". A rare few decided to leave instead of carrying on with the meeting. Some tried to bully me into giving refunds and one of them became very angry when I refused. The worst was a 36 year-old man who had made a couple of wry comments about the condom. Instead of having me on top of him, he wanted me on all fours. When I reached around to guide him, I found he'd taken the condom off. He laughed, "Oh, oh. You caught me!" I went ballistic. He left when I picked up the telephone.

 

Most of my clients now are between the ages of 58 and 75. I love my regular visitors, but the prospective and first-time clients often challenge my restrictions. I don't take same-day or last-minute meetings. The combination of my screening process and my availability means that it can take anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks to meet me in person. I'm willing to exchange a lot of e-mail and have short phone conversations in the meantime. By the time my guest and I actually lay eyes on each other, we've established what I feel is a good rapport. (If we haven't, I will decline to meet.) After all of that, it's unsettling when some new visitors claim to be surprised that I won't compromise about condoms for oral sex.

 

They often say that they didn't think I'd really meant what I'd written or said on the phone, or that they were sure I'd change my mind once we met in person. Two have brought printouts of what they said were their STI test results to use as last-minute bargaining tools. I've heard long stories about loss of sensation, about condoms being too small or too tight (even after I've unrolled one over my hand and up my forearm). I've heard about erectile problems and ejaculatory difficulties they attribute to condoms. Twice I've had clients turn a playful spanking into something that was definitely punishing because I'd used a condom on them for oral, to completion. For one of them, the spanking was pay-back. The other really thought I'd give in for the second round. (That round didn't happen!)

 

The only people who have ever tried to talk me into BBFS have been older men. They've said that they've had vasectomies or that I'm the only woman they will have been with other than their wives. One said he had no children because of a low sperm count. Another said I could trust him because he's a physician. A couple of years ago, I saw one man who made a fuss about condoms and even asked to remove it while we were having intercourse. He contacted me recently, certain that we could work things out now that time had passed. I told him I hadn't changed my restrictions. He said he didn't expect that I would. He paid my social rate to take me out for lunch. At the end of the meeting, he was shocked when I still refused to consider meeting with him without condoms. A few days ago, a fellow I've seen four times offered a significant monthly retainer if I would agree to BBFS. He wanted to be a boyfriend who gives me money and looks the other way if I entertain anyone else. But he also travels extensively in Asia and India, where he delights in the opportunities he has for female companionship, often at very low rates.

 

A few visitors have told me on their way out of the door or later, in e-mail, that the engagement was wonderful but, regretfully, they won't re-book because of the condom.

 

I want to be very clear, though, that, while I do feel pressured and subjected to various kinds of manipulation, I am not worried about going out of business. Most of my clientele are regulars. I'm doing well in my corner of the profession. I don't have qualms about the choices I've made. But it has taken me quite awhile to get to be in my position and I recognize that I am where I am because of simple, plain, good luck as well as because of the way I run my business.

[Guest T*rb***k]

Wow this whole debate is so heated, I'm almost afraid to post my little comment. To me it seems simple (I know I'm just one guy, just a newbie hobbyist), but really, each and every SP posts what they do, some say DFK, some say LKK, some say Greek some say No Greek. Is there and up in arms talk on these choices? (I'm new, but I'm going to guess maybe nothing serious). So to me, if an SP says no BBBJ, then that is what her service is. End of story.

 

Personally, I'm only going to book with someone I'm comfortable with anyway, whether she says covered or not.

[PistolPete 61421]

Sorry, but I'm never pushy, and I always think with my head on my shoulders at all times with a lady, and always act like a complete gentleman.

Please don't lump me in with "we as men can be pushy"

Thanks.

 

I believe any lady can vote on this one no matter what kind of service you provide. It is up to you ladies to accept or not BBBJ service. Reality is that you can lose clients but at the end it is your decision. Yeah, we as men can be pushy... remember that we do not think with the correct head at that moment :dncdick:

 

Cheers,

 

P.

[Annessa 22743]

I'm only going to add a short two cents to this thread, I'm not taking part in the poll because I think its encouraging another statistic of "oh look, x amount of girls are offerring x service" and "only x are offering this" so the lower amount of girls who arent offering x service should catch up to those that are.

 

potatoe, potatah-toe....lets live and let live. if you want a specific service, ask for it like a gentleman, if the lady doesnt offer it (and if thats a real deal breaker for you...tisk) then dont see her but getting us all to make a new statistic based on a poll about what the new Cerb.ca supposed "norm" is? Depending on the outcome, its not helping anyone (psst!..mainly us!) and...well....bah I'm not even gonna finish that cuz i think you know where I'm going with this....

[whiteman 14028]

I'm only going to add a short two cents to this thread, I'm not taking part in the poll because I think its encouraging another statistic of "oh look, x amount of girls are offerring x service" and "only x are offering this" so the lower amount of girls who arent offering x service should catch up to those that are.

The poll is completely anonymous, no one knows who voted for what, nor whether they voted at all. There's no ulterior motive here other than finding out how many girls are feeling pressured into providing a service they don't want to, and why?

 

Guys already know many girls provide "x service", and how relatively common this "service x" is, so it's nothing new that they're going to find out about any girls in particular.

[canuckhooker 19204]

The poll is completely anonymous, no one knows who voted for what, nor whether they voted at all. There's no ulterior motive here other than finding out how many girls are feeling pressured into providing a service they don't want to, and why?

 

Guys already know many girls provide "x service", and how relatively common this "service x" is, so it's nothing new that they're going to find out about any girls in particular.

 

Firstly, Annessa is spot on with her statement and you did not address her concern. The fact that this is anonymous has nothing to do with it.

 

The structure of your questions alone can be seen to influence the outcome of the poll. The fact it is anonymous makes it worse, as people with an agenda can try and influence the outcome. For example, are you sure only SP's answered? What if someone like an MA who does not offer or receive any kind of oral answered? Did you account for that in the poll? How about the fact that some SPs don't like giving a CBJ because they don't want to suck on a condom, or for other reasons? Why not ask about that?

 

Based on the number of responses you have a very small sample size given the number of SPs on this board. It would not even be a good representative sample because you are not sure you have an accurate cross section to extrapolate the results.

 

At best the poll could be classed as entertainment if people were not trying to interpret flawed results and use them to fuel a debate.

 

What is scarier is that some people may be using those results and some of the other flawed and biased statements made on these threads to make a serious decision. People, do your own damn research, it is your health and your life. Don't go to Wikipedia or Ask.com or even Cosmo, check out as many primary sources as possible. The answers often vary, particularly as new research is done. Then make your own decision and stick with it.

 

The other major issue is that there are many other practices that have as much risk, such as DATY, DATO, COF, kissing etc. Why aren't they being addressed?

 

If I really wanted to stir the pot, why don't we put up a poll to see how many SPs do CBJ, but allow DATY or digits?

[whiteman 14028]

The structure of your questions alone can be seen to influence the outcome of the poll. The fact it is anonymous makes it worse, as people with an agenda can try and influence the outcome. For example, are you sure only SP's answered? What if someone like an MA who does not offer or receive any kind of oral answered? Did you account for that in the poll? How about the fact that some SPs don't like giving a CBJ because they don't want to suck on a condom, or for other reasons? Why not ask about that?

If an MA answered, then that's perfectly okay, since MA's are a type of generic service provider too. Of course, you could say that since the poll was posted in the escort section, that's quite a clue as to who is most relevant here. Besides there are plenty of Escort/MA hybrids out there nowadays too. If the MA provides FS, then this poll is quite relevant to them.

 

Based on the number of responses you have a very small sample size given the number of SPs on this board. It would not even be a good representative sample because you are not sure you have an accurate cross section to extrapolate the results.

So far there's been over 40 responses to the poll, as of today. That's more people than I ever expected, because I didn't even know that there were that many SP's around in Ottawa! Even if some of the responses came from other cities, it's still representative.

 

So what's the sample size you think is statistically kosher? 100%? That's not statistics, that's just counting.

 

At best the poll could be classed as entertainment if people were not trying to interpret flawed results and use them to fuel a debate.

I'm glad you find it entertaining, but you sure show it in a strange way.

 

What is scarier is that some people may be using those results and some of the other flawed and biased statements made on these threads to make a serious decision. People, do your own damn research, it is your health and your life. Don't go to Wikipedia or Ask.com or even Cosmo, check out as many primary sources as possible. The answers often vary, particularly as new research is done. Then make your own decision and stick with it.

Now you're dictating to us what sources not to go to, without providing any reasons for it, or any other suggestions.

 

The other major issue is that there are many other practices that have as much risk, such as DATY, DATO, COF, kissing etc. Why aren't they being addressed?

One question at a time! And some of those other questions were asked before, I know that for sure, because I was the one who posted some of them.

 

It's easy to criticize, so take your vast statistical knowledge and create your own perfect poll.

 

If I really wanted to stir the pot, why don't we put up a poll to see how many SPs do CBJ, but allow DATY or digits?

You're free to do that if you like, as I said above.

[Annessa 22743]