Just needed to vent

[Kubrickfan 12836]

we still dont know the detais about what was agreed here people....everyone needs to just take a deep breath

 

Poker...a litle clarification?

 

Definitely agreed ... a few more background facts would be helpful here. I just have this picture in my head of Poker spending time with the lady planning the trip, having fun doing that, and then getting there and having her essentially sneak away with a horrible excuse, but that's not a fact-based characterization until we hear more from Poker.

[JoePlumber 112]

we still dont know the detais about what was agreed here people....everyone needs to just take a deep breath

 

Poker...a litle clarification?

I think the sticky point might be how the um.. remuneration was worked out. I know the cost for a full time travel companion can be VERY large (several thousand). If I were travelling, I might consider taking a 'friend' with me, all expenses paid, but I would not expect the same level of um, companionship as if it was all expenses paid plus several thousand. If both travel and time were paid for, then shame on her for being naughty. Did you get the chance to spank her? :-D

[Poker 125]

To disappear without any notice while on a vacation (whether it be a client/SP relationship or any other relationship) is inconsiderate, rude and just plain tacky. It leaves the other person very worried during the time you are apart.

 

 

Thanks Mandalay, that is somethin I went through during the wait. Complete worry on wether or not she was safe, I think thats one thing most of you never thought, but at the time, it was my only thought. I didnt care that I wasnt going to get laid that night. oh and btw the time she took off was from about 5am to 10 am. Not a great time to see the sites I'd say.

 

So with that, i guess I have some question to answer and some comments to make. Dummpy, you said its a fantasy, ok, I paid for a fantasy, but I know for sure my fantasy didnt include waiting up all night worred sick, only to find out later my "gf" cheated on me. not a fun fantasy I think hehe and not what I paid for. As for owning her 24/7 no, I never thought that or even wanted that. But there is a line that shouldnt be crossed. I like the idea that Annessa brought up, her friend who gave her time of her own. I did that with my date every day, she had a couple hours every day to go do whatever, she used it to get her hair done or similar stuff. I was also playing poker in a tourney every night so she had those hours to do what she wanted also. This is what I loved most about her, she spent most of that time watching me play, she really loves poker and helped me go far in the tourney. Seeing that pretty face chearing me on gave me confidence.

 

Also, next time you have a date for a couple hours, call me up, Ill take your girl for 30 min. You wont have a problem with that will you? lol see my point. Thanks for your comments tho, they do bring more things to light and are very necessary for discussion purposes and help me with my points. Oh and they ARE welcome.

 

As for arrangements made before the trip. We didnt sit down and talk about what was expected, and we talked every night. it was more of a "how much fun we are going to have" discussion. We are going to do this, and this, oh and we HAVE to do that. There was no dicussion of other men/women or what sexually was expected. She was my pretty companion on a nice trip, and seeing as we have fun here, we can have fun there. I didnt think that I needed to clear up wether it was acceptable for her ro take off and meet up with a fellow cerb member was necessary. kinda like telling someone to not walk into a burning building, you just assume. I know better now, and my next few trips I did bring it up with every girl. They all thought I was crazy when I brought it up and said they wouldnt ever think about taking off on me. I could get mad and leave them there with no way to get home.

 

One thing I want to bring up, I didnt see her on an hourly basis like most SPs. We had "dates" and I even stayed the night on occasions she needed to be held. Ya, pretty sweet situation for both of us. As for compensation, she was always well taken care of with me. Lets just say she got ALOT of xmas shopping done this year.

 

One thought I did have is, what does it really matter if I paid her or not? We are talking about a week long trip. Two main destinations and alot of expenses paid out for her. Id say after looking at my CC bill, she spent almost 10x as much as I did, and I can drink ALOT and not be a drunk bastard. We also eat well everywhere we go, and money is never an issue. My point is, she knew this was bad, what she was doing. She lied about it, secretly planned it and profited from it. I say, if you have to lie about something it probably isnt something good.

 

One thing was said about phonyness. I dont look for phony, as a matter of fact, if you are phony I will be able to see through it and wont be interested at all. I look for interest, attraction, service, and of course fun, oh and beauty. I know what's what when it comes to this business, I've been on all ends of it. To me the time I spend with the girls is real. They arent my gf, no illusion, I care for them and they me(my regulars). We have fun because we enjoy our time, not because she is willing to BBBj or greek or whatever.

 

 

Now about the cerb member. No I dont think the guy was intentionally trying to hurt me. I dont even think he knew about me before this happened. Do I think he knew she was with me on this trip? Not sure on that one. She could have told him she was going with friends or familly so who knows, if she lied to me she could have lied to him. Do I blame him, yup, but with no real reason. He may not even know, but Im still mad. Of course like I said I wont confront him on it cause itll solve nothing. Maybe I'll get a sorry but I dont want a sorry really. Just wanted to vent, And did that. As for getting over it, I think I did, right after I wrote down the story. Sometimes talking about a situation is all the healing we need. Of course the comments I got from all of you(and I mean all of you, even the ones I didnt agree with) really helped me alot.

 

As for spanking her, yup, sure did. Like I said, I didnt want to have that insident ruin my trip, yes I could have sent her on her way, but my trip woulda been lonely and finding a replacement in a forein country isnt easy if you havent planned ahead. We can't all be Dreamer8.

[whatsup 11893]

For Poker's travelling companion that fleeted on the first night for five hours would of been totally disheartening. Can you just imagine all the excitement of taking one of your favourite trusted girls to a special locale and then poof shes gone on the arrival night. There would be many analogies to this, which I will let you surmise and I am sure that not one would of approved of this blatant disregard of the client.

 

 

To actually have the provider in question agree with you for a travel agreement is not just a one night stand. This would have been a provider that trusted Poker as a good travel companion and probably over a few/several encounters they would have discussed and then set up the excursion.

 

In the mean time she was arranging (albeit deceptively) to meet with another client on arrival to set locale, how classy is that? Answer NOT.

[drakkar 131]

Well Poker, from your post I realize that your situation with that girl was more complex than just a normal SP-client relationship, and fair enough, it's a shame that due to lack of tact, vision and sensibility of her part she not only spoiled part of your trip but ruined her chances of you pampering her again.

Unacceptable what she did...but it's her big loss.

[Kubrickfan 12836]

Poker --

 

Wonderful reply ... makes perfect sense and I would have felt exactly the same if not worse.

 

Was this a very young lady that maybe didn't know better? That's the only other thing I can think of that would even begin to make sense.

 

Also, and to up the ante a bit, I think its fair to characterize what she did as facts associated with an SP visit, so I think it would be perfectly resonable to post on this topic (your visit, both the good and the bad) with the SP's name either on here or on the "t" board.

[Poker 125]

Poker --

 

Wonderful reply ... makes perfect sense and I would have felt exactly the same if not worse.

 

Was this a very young lady that maybe didn't know better? That's the only other thing I can think of that would even begin to make sense.

 

Also, and to up the ante a bit, I think its fair to characterize what she did as facts associated with an SP visit, so I think it would be perfectly resonable to post on this topic (your visit, both the good and the bad) with the SP's name either on here or on the "t" board.

 

Actually, even tho I think my first intention was to out her on here having ppl pm me and I would inform them who she was, I really dont want to do that anymore. I feel that this post was needed, for my healing really. Everyone is telling me to move on and I have actually. And this post and everyones replies just makes me happier for my decision. Realisticly she will dig herown grave if she continues this behaviour. I have already heard a few things from some friends in the industry so I know its only a matter of time. Besides, I still care for her, even tho.

[dexterS3 134]

Hey poker

 

I hope you won money play poker to make up for a downer. Its funny how some put it i won't mention names that its part of the job. So i am not to sure of what company or inpendant person would want same person working 2 jobs at same time esp when there being paid a reasonable rate.

So I don't balme for being pissed off maybe you should get a backers cut for her making money on the trip lol.

i think that would be fare since you foot the bill.

So now you know who not to take on dates across the world. Any sp would agree i wouldn't take on a trip.

 

Good luck in future.

[dreamer8 510]

We can't all be Dreamer8.

not sure what you mean but I take it as a complement :)

[Annessa 22743]

when you put it like that: she disappeared and and made you worry for hours.....i do believe thats NOT cool..in ANY way. I mean even if she claimed she was running off to get her nails done for a couple hours and fit in a call, i would not frown on that...you allowed her the time. however making you worry overseas for hours on end without an honest explanation is not cool.

 

I will say however that just because you take a girl shopping or pay for drinks for a vacation or great dinners etc...does not mean that she is not missing out on money earned during a trip. drinks and christmas shopping do not pay our rent and phone bills and many clients try to barter flights and dinners with hours of companionship. this is one thing I dont allow. perhaps I am material as many may think after this post but you have to consider the time and money a lady is missing out on on a weekly basis spending time with you.

 

the lesson to be learned here is compensate her aside from the frills of travelling with you or understand that if you dont, she may be tempted to make her living while on the trip. i myself would never do so the way she did, but I'm trying to play devils advocate here.

 

and i certainly dont fancy to your ideals that you brought her there or paid for her trip and dinners and shopping for more than just a BBBJ. a proper hobbyist would know that its not about that, rather proper communication between you and your travel partner. Hopefully in the future things will be stated more clear between you and her from the start.

 

as for the dude involved, forget him...stop thinking everyone is out to get you. it never ends well.

 

my two, or three, or four cents

[Seymour 3970]

Actually, even tho I think my first intention was to out her on here having ppl pm me and I would inform them who she was, I really dont want to do that anymore. I feel that this post was needed, for my healing really. Everyone is telling me to move on and I have actually. And this post and everyones replies just makes me happier for my decision.

 

Good on you for posting your story Poker. It is a timely reminder for everyone as often our judgments do get clouded. Good on you for keeping your cool about the whole thing.

[AttilaTheHun 356]

Poker, while I don't agree agree with this SP's behavior, I do want to point out that you took a gamble on this one thinking it was a sure thing and it turned around and bit you on the ass. I don't know what kind of a poker player you are, but you certainly misinterpreted this hand. You clearly had some expectations that were not the same as hers. This is where you let your guard down. I understand that you gave her time to do her own thing everyday, but you had a expectation that she would be with you during the times you were not busy. Now whether you had developed a relationship that was more than SP/Client or not, your assumption that your paying an all expense paid trip for her did not land you exclusivity on her time unless it was clearly agreed upon. I think you can chalk this experience up as a hard lesson learned. I believe that if you discuss the arrangement ahead of time with the lady you would like to bring along with you on your next trip, you won't have any problems if you deal with a professional. If you can't work out a mutual agreement then move on and find someone who can. I think if you stick to the professional ladies, this won't be an issue. I hope you have better luck next time you select your lady.

 

ATH

[d*mm*y 887]

when you put it like that: she disappeared and and made you worry for hours.....i do believe thats NOT cool..in ANY way. I mean even if she claimed she was running off to get her nails done for a couple hours and fit in a call, i would not frown on that...you allowed her the time. however making you worry overseas for hours on end without an honest explanation is not cool.

 

I will say however that just because you take a girl shopping or pay for drinks for a vacation or great dinners etc...does not mean that she is not missing out on money earned during a trip. drinks and christmas shopping do not pay our rent and phone bills and many clients try to barter flights and dinners with hours of companionship. this is one thing I dont allow. perhaps I am material as many may think after this post but you have to consider the time and money a lady is missing out on on a weekly basis spending time with you.

 

the lesson to be learned here is compensate her aside from the frills of travelling with you or understand that if you dont, she may be tempted to make her living while on the trip. i myself would never do so the way she did, but I'm trying to play devils advocate here.

 

and i certainly dont fancy to your ideals that you brought her there or paid for her trip and dinners and shopping for more than just a BBBJ. a proper hobbyist would know that its not about that, rather proper communication between you and your travel partner. Hopefully in the future things will be stated more clear between you and her from the start.

 

as for the dude involved, forget him...stop thinking everyone is out to get you. it never ends well.

 

my two, or three, or four cents

 

That is what I am trying to say, we get short sighted when SP's give us a little more and start to take it for granted, extra's are the SP version of gifts, accept them graciously don't take them for granted.

 

If I had taken an SP on a trip as a travel companion and expected her to be by my side 24/7 I would also expect to pay $1200-2000 a day + expenses. When I take a lady to diner I do not take into account what the meal cost. If I bring a lady a gift I do not consider that as part of the payment, otherwise it is not a "gift".

 

I can't speak specifically about this trip because I don't know all the facts; I just know that I could never spend 24/7 with a client. I can work 8-10 hours at a time and then I need a break. As for worrying about an SP, I have learned that most of them have very good resources and rarely actually need the White Knight that we want to be.

I think it breaks down to how we are wired, some of us are one man one woman types and some of us are poly. Also the SP?s are doing this as a means to make money, they need to be sensitive to the one man one woman types and we would prefer that they not discuss other clients with us. The vast majority of ladies interested int he Poly events demand that we not mention there names. (gee I wonder why??)

 

In this case I don?t know the specifics of what the lady intended or how it went down other than Pokers version, in my experience there are always 2 versions of the events. What I am saying is just general information, SP?s are poly that is how they can do their job. Sp?s have to work at pleasing us, if they met us in real life they would not date let alone sleep with us.

Sorry if I am pulling the curtain down and exposing the Wizard, but it?s a business and a job guys, if you pay the lady a healthy 4 figures (at least $1200 a day) over and above the expenses than yes she is yours for the trip if not? It takes a large amount of effort to keep up the hot sexy looks and the illusions that they are into us, even more if it?s for an extended period of time.

If I paid for 2 hours and the lady only gave me one and half hours I would not care what she did with the other half hour I would wonder why I did not get it. An all night'r is usually $1200-2000 same thing if I pay the $1200 I expect breakfast, I have gotten Breakfast and the all night'r for a lot less but that does not establish a new price, it was just a bonus. A diner date is usually around $500- 1000 with a little play time at the end, it does not include the price of diner (if it did there would not be much left for the SP). Tim Hortens never qualifies as any kind of a date!!

Poker: did she cut into the agreed to and paid for time? or did you feel she was two timing? Or both? because I would argue that there is no such thing as two timing with an SP, they are actullay 50 timing!! in a month.

 

I don't expect most of you to get it, and some of the SP's will rather carry on the illusion of GF than point out this is a job (even in posts on Cerb because they are that professional), I just read the post and imagined a diferent perspective that is all.

[Poker 125]

Poker: did she cut into the agreed to and paid for time? or did you feel she was two timing? Or both?

 

 

Actually yeah, it did cut into the aggreed time. As for two timing, I know that she sees other ppl. Shoot I encourage her to, on her time. Not our time. Notice I said our time. I even drove her to some calls if she needed a ride. I however wouldnt pimp her even when I was asked to.

 

And as for compensation, like I said, with her it wasnt your tandard by the hour aggreement. But yes she was compensated, yeah I mentioned the perks she got, thos I consider tips or gifts. I know it take $$$ to pay the bills. I wont get into our money arrangment because thats between us.

 

 

Btw, one of you said they didn't know what kind of poker player I was but in this hand I got a bad read or something. lol yeah I sure did, but I never was good playing against women, I cant read them well. an they know when your bluffing, its sick lol.

[PistolPete 61421]

I tried to give you rep points on the subject above Dummpy, but apparently you have too many already so I must share with others! Great points you stated above!

[Poker 125]

One more thing I wanted to add. Just because it is a dishonest and corrupt world, doesnt mean we have to live that way. It doesnt even mean we have to accept it. One of the problems with the world today is complaicency. Everyone seems to think, "oh let someone else take care of it." Ummm, there is no one else if you dont say anything or do anything.

[d*mm*y 887]

Actually yeah, it did cut into the aggreed time.

 

Then it was wrong;

 

I still think there is always 2 sides to the story. If this was the first night I can see it being the one you would expect to get the vacation off on a good foot with. And of all nights would have been the best to release a tension on both sides, I guess only one of you got to do that. (Well and of course the unmentioned other member!!)

 

Some people get off on the ability to twist and turn things, to be able to "get away" with something that is what turns them on.

[ekimout 188]

Hey Poker,

 

It's great that you shared your story with us. It will allow any clients thinking of taking an SP on a trip to make sure there is a clear understanding of expectations. It will help both sides, and I thank you for that.

 

In this case from the information provided - which is the only thing we can base our point of view - she was wrong. It was unprofessional, pre-planned, and unacepatble. The fact that you had no idea where she was, or that she was leaving to go and do whatever, is a little dishonest. To expect anyone to stay with you 24/7 is unrealistic. Basic human respect would dictate you tell your friends, your travel companion or whomever, that you needed some alone time for a few hours to explore, go to the beach, a little shopping, a walk, whatever. But to just take off is quite different.

 

I guess a lesson learned in this case, and now it's time to move on without her. You can't care for someone who doesn't care for you back.

[MandalayBay 575]

One more thing I wanted to add. Just because it is a dishonest and corrupt world, doesnt mean we have to live that way. It doesnt even mean we have to accept it. One of the problems with the world today is complaicency. Everyone seems to think, "oh let someone else take care of it." Ummm, there is no one else if you dont say anything or do anything.

 

I agree wholeheartedly and without meaning to hijack this thread, I'd like to share a beautiful piece of writing that is similar to what you wrote above. I hope you enjoy.

 

Desiderata

 

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible and without surrender,

be on good terms with all people.

 

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to all

even to the dull and ignorant;

they too have their story.

 

Avoid loud and aggressive people, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself to others you will become vain and bitter;

there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

 

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

 

Exercise caution in your business affairs;

for the world is full of trickery.

But let not this blind you to the virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

 

Be yourself especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

In the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

It is as perennial as the grass.

 

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

 

Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have the right to be here.

 

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

 

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

 

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

[Ava Foxx 1747]

I may have missed it as there was a lot of reading to do in this thread, but where was the location of the trip? Everyone seems to assume that it was an overseas trip because a passport was involved but even travelling into the U.S. requires a passport now.

[Poker 125]

I may have missed it as there was a lot of reading to do in this thread, but where was the location of the trip? Everyone seems to assume that it was an overseas trip because a passport was involved but even travelling into the U.S. requires a passport now.

 

I have taken a few girls from Cerb on vacations, some people from cerb know who I've taken where so I don't want to give out that information as they will be able to put 2 and 2 together. I may have at one time wanted her outed, but I have changed my mind on that. She deserves her privacy.

 

Also I don't see how where we went has any bearing on this situation. Can you explain why you wanted to know that?

[JoePlumber 112]

I have taken a few girls from Cerb on vacations, some people from cerb know who I've taken where so I don't want to give out that information as they will be able to put 2 and 2 together. I may have at one time wanted her outed, but I have changed my mind on that. She deserves her privacy.

 

Also I don't see how where we went has any bearing on this situation. Can you explain why you wanted to know that?

 

I'm not sure she was asking for a city, more like a country or continent. It probably doesn't matter if it was London, or Paris, but if it was 'upstate New York'.. that is a wee bit different. I expect she was just trying to get a feel for the conversation, and not trying to rat out the perp. Of course, I've been known to be wrong.

[Andee 220524]

It doesn't really matter what city you went to, but in terms of safety for example, there is a big difference between someone talking off on you in Albany New York, versus say a place like Las Vegas, New York or Chicago..

 

I think we all agree your travelling companion's behaviour was unprofessional and tacky. I appreciate you needing to get this off your chest, but really as I said before, there are probably some real nice ladies out there in cerb-land who would be honoured and grateful to accompany you on a get-away.

 

Good luck next time.:roll:

[Ava Foxx 1747]

I have taken a few girls from Cerb on vacations, some people from cerb know who I've taken where so I don't want to give out that information as they will be able to put 2 and 2 together. I may have at one time wanted her outed, but I have changed my mind on that. She deserves her privacy.

 

Also I don't see how where we went has any bearing on this situation. Can you explain why you wanted to know that?

 

Out of personal curiosity and other reasons that I really don't feel like getting into. I have no desire whatesoever to "out" the girl. That's not at all why I asked the question.

[Ava Foxx 1747]

I expect she was just trying to get a feel for the conversation, and not trying to rat out the perp.

 

That's pretty much it :).