Leading a Double Life

[TheRiddlerMan 872]

Definitely a compartmentalized life, I trust no one with this aspect of it. It's just the way things are. More so now than ever with the massive negative publicity around the new law, which reinforces all the usual stereotypes.

[someguy 67067]

it's been 5 years since i've been at this and still being able to keep it a secret.

It's like I'm 2 different persons now. With women I am now a more confident man after having met so many wonderful woman. But with my wife, family and friends, I am a totally different person. They would never have believe that I am meeting all these beautiful women and having fun. But always afraid that i will get caught. I guess that is part of the excitement and risk that I take when you play this game. Anyone else feel the same way?

[Triple HHH 12345]

I definitely lead a double life, I have stepped back a lot in 2015 in regards

to my activity as a hobbiest.

 

For me I was fortunate to be able to visit some ladies that toured here in Charlottetown in 2014 it seemed my schedule fitted theirs, if it didn't I did not push my boundaries in visiting which kept me safe from any suspicions.

 

Late August something happened I never dreamed of when joining Cerb/Lyla I became very comfortable visiting someone who lives here on the Island, actually she excites me like no other. With this comfort and excitement level I am careful in when we meet, everything is well planned ahead, the part that is the best for me in this situation is if I know I am going to be free for an extended time which I enjoy the most at present, with lots of notification she is able to meet me when it is best for me.

 

Hopefully my good fortunate will continue for a couple of more years, I am

definitely a more content and confident person after having a spectacular 2014.

[nntsci 11075]

Sometimes I have to be careful not to reveal my double life.

 

I'm sure if my wife wanted to figure it out, she could... I'm not that good at covering my tracks. She might for example wonder why about bank withdraws; if she added them up; but we have a deal; I don't question her about her expenses; she returns the favor.

 

There is a good possibility that my wife tacitly knows I'm not faithful. Its actually quite common for wives to turn a blind eye towards their husbands extracurricular activities as long as she doesn't lose out. But I'm actually a very good husband to her... I in no way neglect her. We go out a lot... went out to dinner last nigh. Just not much sex or at least far less then I need.

 

I'm not sure if I'd want to give up my secret life even if my wife suddenly started to want sex more often... I enjoy it way too much.

 

I did talk to my best friend about it. He acknowledges we know enough about each other to make life difficult to either of us... mutual assured destruction.

[someguy 67067]

Spending too much time on Lyla. But I enjoy it. I've seen a lot of new women the last two years. And like nntsi, my wife is starting to notice my bank withdraws. So I need to cut back a bit and spend more time between sessions. So far so good and keeping my secret life secret. But you never know when I may slip up. and maybe forget to clean my browser history, or get caught in a lie. Any one ever get caught so far?

[ClooneyII 603]

Some of us probably lead "more" of a "double life" than others because of our real world occupation. The consequences of getting caught would clearly vary from job to job and perhaps even marriage to marriage. I would agree with those who are saying that essentially "with greater risk comes more intense gratification." Also, however, the hook into these pleasures goes deeper.

[nntsci 11075]

One aspect of my double life is I sometimes have to be careful about expressing my views on the issue of prostitution. I think the current laws are stupid and endanger the ladies... and that worries me to think of such wonderful people that might be put in danger by a ridiculous legal system. A lady who I've seen many times and is such a wonderful companion, told me about a couple of scary incidents she had experienced. I would very much like to ensure that she has safe working conditions.

 

I do express this opinion in my ordinary life and have openly championed the idea of legalization to improve the safety situation, but I do have to be careful not to say to much about it so as not to arouse any suspicions... or to explain how I know how the ladies feel about the law.

[Brody Boivin 8445]

I'm typically that chick that does in fact have a double life. Not like a cheating kind of way.My partner is aware and totally supportive of my lifestyle choice. For some reason, everyone sees through it. No matter the back story or double alias.

 

It's as if I have a big sign on my head "Lady of the night". Some of my close friends, who are supportive of my lifestyle, say it's the way I walk or the way I dress. I don't dress like that chick from Pretty Woman.... so I thiiink it's probably not my clothes.Maybe it's my care free attitude and bubbly ways? I think I'm generally a quirky type of person. I don't understand how people have been able to literally just look at me and know there is something under there.

 

Maybe I can't lie subconsciously?

 

I have even had a lady who reads cards look at me after she put out the cards. She told me that I offer companionship. I offer it door to door. This was when I was in Ottawa only offering outcalls. It threw me back. Maybe EVERYONE is on BP. That has to be it.

 

Am I the only one that feels this way?

 

Excuse my spiel. I do that a lot.

[50 Shades Raven 31380]

I don't see this as a double life, but rather an extension of who I am.

Keeping it a secret from those that I know has never been an issue, unless someone was to actually come straight out and ask me if I did this, I wouldn't volunteer the info.

 

This is only part of me, a very small part of me.

It doesn't define who I am.

I have a career, a business and I have this.

 

The fact that I love doing this more than I do the other parts of my life says something about me.

It is exciting to see new guests, a thrill everytime. Always butterflies before I open the door, even after 12 years of offering this.

 

So I don't see it as a double life, just a very unique part of me that enjoys what I do very much.

[someguy 67067]

Any more thoughts on this topic?

[Victoria Phoenix 3403]

It can get very stressful leading two lives, I have to constantly watch what I say and do, especially being in a small city. I can not come out and say what I do to anyone here, as they just wouldn't understand-If I were asked, by family or close friends, I would also tell the truth, just as Cristy would. I love what I do, Not just for financial reasons, but for the lasting friendships I have made! So, yes a double life can lead to early grey hair-but I would NOT change my profession for anything!!!

[Nicolette Vaughn 294340]

Compartmentalization isn't my thing but I don't judge others who have to lead a double life for various reasons.

 

What I don't understand is why some people can be judgmental when you tell them that the people in your life know what you do. It's almost as if they just can't believe it.

 

They decide they can judge me based on those around me know what I do. I find that a bit hypocritical esp when clients say it. I always steer away from those conversations because my family life isn't anyone else's business to begin with unless I'm willing to share it with them.

[Guest st*****ens**ors]

I think it probably makes it easier if the way you are is consistent, regardless of what you do. If you're assuming a character to function in certain areas of your life I could see it becoming very complicated very fast.

[mrgreen760 37785]

Life is a journey and I think we're constantly changing and evolving. What I am today won't be who I am tomorrow.

 

So by and large what you see is what you get. In my case discretion is important but if we met at a dinner party or a grocery store or any where else for that matter I'd look, dress, speak and act the same. I'm open, curious and friendly and people seem to be drawn to that.

 

Peace

MG

[Olderismorefun 150]

This is a very interesting topic, i've been leading this double life for 5 years now give or take and its not always been positive. I was caught a few years ago by my wife, who is still with me thankfully, but it cause a lot of pain for everyone obviously.

 

At that point I thought ok I cannot do this anymore but the truth is I don't want to stop. So now I lead not only a separate life but separate bank accounts and CC's with my paycheck being split from the get go. This gives me total separation and I now know how to handle it better mentally.

 

In the end I get what I need from these minimal encounters and it in turn helps me with my marriage and mental state. I never thought I would be this person but now I wonder how I wasn't before.

[Regent 35404]

I don't like the idea of leading a double life or having separate identities - it seems like too much to manage, and really quiet stressful for me.

 

My approach is more about sharing information that is appropriate to the situation and audience - maintaining professionalism and an appropriate work/life separation, rather than complete compartmentalization.

 

So, I don't tell clients my real name or personal details about my life, but I don't have a character or persona that I put on for work, and I don't have a made up backstory. The me that shows up to a session is the real me, just with certain aspects of myself in focus.

 

And I don't share my working name or details about what I do with many people, but I'm out about being a sex worker, and my partners and very closest friends know quite a lot about what I do.

 

My experience in this work is integral to the work I do in my straight jobs and I don't keep my sex worker rights activism a secret when I'm applying for jobs.

 

In social or networking situations I may play down the sex work that I do and focus on other aspects of my work, depending on things like safety, perceived stigma and just how much energy I want to spend explaining things. "What do you do?" is such a complex question when you strip out the assumption that the other half of the question is, "...to make money?" I can pick and choose from a variety of completely true answers depending on where I want to take the conversation.

 

I'm good at keeping other people's secrets, but terrible at keeping secrets about myself. I need and want people that are close to me to know the real, whole me, and so I've by necessity structured my life so that I can integrate all the parts of myself and not lead a double life.

[Amanda-Lee 11094]

I only share information that I feel comfortable sharing. I don't live a double life, what I do is who I am, if someone can't accept that than it's fine.

 

I only share information that I feel comfortable, if I don't I won't share anything. It comes down to it's my business and my personal space, I just don't flat out tell random people I am an SP, I tell them something I do actually do. It's my business, you wouldn't share your banking information with some random person or a friend? That's how I view it.

[nntsci 11075]

There is some stress involved in leading a double life.

 

On the other hand there is an excitement about leading a double life as well.

 

With the calls and secret arrangements, sometimes I feel like I'm a secret agent...

 

I've been seeing this lady recently at hotels in Toronto, which I just rent for the purpose of seeing her. We check in, have fun, the leave a couple hours later. I come back the next morning to pick up some stuff from the room and check out. I have to remember to pay for the hotel in cash so that there is no record of the transaction (not one my wife will see anyway). One hotel when I was checking in, asked me for the lady's name, so I gave her a fictitious names that implied she was married to me. But another time when the lady was with me when I was checking in, they didn't ask her for her name or ID...

 

I try to time my assignations on days when I know my wife is working evening so she doesn't even know that I've been out late.

 

Also I have to keep track of what I say to my wife about what I'm doing or when I'm coming home.

 

It can be stressful at times, but I'm enjoying it too much to even think about stopping..

[Guest Prufrock Cummings]

I am the single superhero, so my only worries with a double life, are well almost none. I've hosted the outcall at my bat-cave more times than I can count, and I enjoy it that way. I make the food for my friendly visitor, wine and dine her and then we have fun! And afterward more food and wine!

[Sailorsam1980 214]

This is an interesting thread - thanks for sharing, everyone.

 

In a way, the hobby helps me explore a different persona. I'm pretty shy with women in the real world (when dealing with intimacy or flirtation), so meeting up with friendly and professional SPs helps me relax that tendency a little. Still pretty shy on the date, but definitely less so!

[nntsci 11075]

This is an interesting thread - thanks for sharing, everyone.

 

In a way, the hobby helps me explore a different persona. I'm pretty shy with women in the real world (when dealing with intimacy or flirtation), so meeting up with friendly and professional SPs helps me relax that tendency a little. Still pretty shy on the date, but definitely less so!

For sure, the ladies I've met have been so good at helping me relax and feel good... and I know that for at least one lady, has told me she views the time she spends with me as a relaxing escape from the stress of her life as well.

[someguy 67067]

It's coming up to my 8 year anniversary. And I am surprise that I am still here meeting women. This was suppose to be a one time thing lol. But it is so easy to get addicted to this life style. I've met many women over the years and have had many great experiences. I am still managing to keep these two lives separate. I seem to be two different man in this life style. Friends and family would be surprised to know that I have seen so many hot and sexy women. Most see me as a shy respectful family man. Not sure how much longer I can keep this lifestyle up. It's getting expensive lol

[jafo105 39057]

I am a private person and do not make it a point to tell others that I have seen independent SPs or MPs. Although, I have had a few trusted friends (both male and female) ask me my thoughts regarding the subject of SWs. And I have been open and honest with them. I tell them about my own personal experiences. (All positive). I have even set some straight on their misconceptions of the industry from my perspective. They were fine and non judgemental about it. After all these years, we are still great friends.

 

 

In response to nntsci, I have gone out for dinner with a couple of SPs, but I have never ran into any one I knew. If I had I would have introduced her as my friend and date.

[Blondenextdoor 1625]

Up until yesterday, it has not been too hard or stressful, that being said, although my photos are generally discrete - I made the mistake of using one from my regular social media (stupid mistake) and I did not crop the photo good enough. A 'boy' I use to date began harassing me with burner numbers identifying me by my first and real last name. Of course he was bashing sex workers and because I am studying a competitive professional program at the graduate level at university he was making threats. This all happened yesterday. So now I am going to be very careful with new photos - even though my face is my best asset I just can't expose it on here and I have to be even more diligent in using different photos for my advertisement that are of me (obviously) but are cropped more, different outfits and possibly photographed somewhere else. Now it has completely changed the anxiety level of being exposed by someone who is not mentally stable. I am not ashamed of what I do, but the anxiety stemming from the stigma and negativity towards sex workers is what I ashamed of. I truly do have a double life.