Honesty in the Business - Good or Bad?

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I just finished reading the new thread on "jealousy" and while contemplating what to say I had a thought, is there such a thing as too much honesty from an SP and does that negatively impact her?

 

Do hobbyists stay away from those who lay themselves out here on these boards or does that make them more attractive? Or is it perhaps an age of the hobbyist deal where those who are older or who have been indulging for quite awhile are looking for something different than those who have a focus of enjoying the sexual interactions?

 

So I ask you, can you know too much and that ends up being a turn off or does it attract you?

 

I'm not just asking about the up close and personal interactions but also the sharing an SP does in the forums.

[Miss S. Lane 67128]

Excellent question and one I'm very looking forward to reading the answers to!!!

[Guest B**na***oy]

Notwithstanding the fact that SPs/MAs must develop clever marketing strategies to attract the kind of clients they want to meet and in a sufficient number to sustain their business, I would say that honesty is a foundation of the business.

 

By the rules that are imposed, CERB tends to keep everyone honest, both clients and providers and leads to a high degree of satisfaction. Most horror stories that are reported relate to other environments that do not value honesty as much.

 

For my part, before meeting anyone, I will do a thorough research using the available resources, initiate a first contact through PM or email and further explore our mutual compatibility before committing to a meeting. Of course, during that process, we must expose each others, which may prevent the meeting for ever happening, but on the other end, when everything clicks. it leads to a wonderful and rewarding encounter.

 

I don't think there can ever be too much information or honesty, it all depends on how it's managed. As I often say, mutual respect will take you a long way in this business as well as in life in general.

[RoddyThomas 2746]

I think it depends of how comfortable an SP feels with a particular client. If he/she is a regular and a certain level of trust is achieved sharing and honesty is good in my opinion. Perhaps it is wise to be careful what you divulge as far as your personal life, but sharing makes the experience more human, less robotic.

[Guest]

I think honesty is always good. By staying true to yourself, you attract the people that will suite your personality/style. I like knowing that my clients like who I am and that they enjoy reading my threads and blogs.

 

I have made a mistake perhaps on being too honest sometimes or sharing too much about certain topics, however, I have no regrets.

[mrgreen760 37785]

A game involving almost exclusively assumed names and identities and sometimes dated or even fake photos doesn't seem like much of a starting point for honesty on either side.

 

Nice thought though.....

 

Peace

MG

[Cleo Catra 178382]

I think you need to be yourself in order to succeed in this business - but that doesn't need people need to know everything about me.

 

The 'Cleo Catra' I project is an honest portrayal of me - she's a part of me. BUT, that's not my name...and I don't tell everyone everything about me. That would be too much like dating, and I'm NOT dating my clients. My clients know as much about me as they need to know to decide if they want to see me. Once they see me, they learn more, and decide if they'd like to come back. In every encounter, we learn more about each other...what sexual buttons to push, how to draw that orgasm out, how to tease, excite, play. And in the process, we talk and learn details about each other on a personal level, which heightens the intimacy of our time together. And I love that.

 

However, if I had a fight with my best friend right before a client shows up, I'm not going to tell him the details of that fight. I might say 'You know girls, ugh! Always silly fights', then move on to our session. If I have giant bills looming and I'm stressed about money, I'm not going to go into details of how I didn't manage my finances well this month, but might say 'Budgets dont' always work!', then move on to our session. Etc.

 

The man is coming to me for his own escape from reality, his own fantasy, his own sexual desire. For all I know, his wife may have broken down that morning because SHE had a fight with her best friend, so he's coming to me to escape - so the last thing I want to do is lay on the details of my own personal drama.

 

I like being part of a fantasy, of having this world where I lay my personal dramas aside for an hour or two, and escape to this sexual, sensual world between the sheets.

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I respectfully beg to differ Mr Green, at least on some of your point. yes there are many made up names and persona's and players using fake pictures. This does not mean most of the people fall into this category. Everyone has their own reasons for either putting themselves out there or keeping some things quiet but that doesn't mean what they say or what they put out there isn't honest or sharing some of themselves.

 

This is why CERB is so great because it gives everyone the opportunity to discuss, positive and negative. The reco's are the positive, info on scam', fake pics, bait and switches and people willing to share info helps people avoid those not so honest types.

 

I for one use my own name when i talk to people and what I share is truthful. It takes way too much time and energy to be fake and dishonest and it creates bad energy so I don't do it, it's not me.

 

I hope you find some better people than those you have apparently run into, you're definitely in a good place for that! *muah*

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

Yup, I think I am with Mr. Green on this one.

 

My only other comment is a polite reminder that it's a fine line between being brutally honest and just being rude.

 

Steve

[Midnite-Energies 110563]

I don't believe in brutal honesty. That involves numerous things I try to stay away from and I agree people can be rude and hurtful under the guise of "helping" or "being honest".

 

I also believe that non full disclosure is not dishonesty as no one has the right to your information if it does not impact them in any way, shape or form.

 

I think we have perhaps taken a rather sad turn here....

[Guest B**na***oy]

This is a fantasy world, of course we don't want to know everything about the real world, much of it is irrelevant. There is however a difference between a fantasy and a lie. There is also a difference between a lady hiding her face and one showing the picture of a porn star rather than her own.

 

In order to feed the fantasy, the truth must be altered and massaged; that does not make someone dishonest. I don't need to know about the personal life of anyone in this business and nobody needs to know about mine. The honesty resides in the accurate delivery of the fantasy package that was agreed upon, nothing more.

 

Let's have fun between consenting adults and respect each other in the process. ;-)

[Guest Miss Jane TG]

Potentially a provider can loose potential clients by laying herself out! But, is this a loss in the real sense?

 

Answering from my own perspectives, No! At the high ends of any industry usually, the owner of any enterprise focus more on creating a niche! The same in my view applies to professionals in all aspects of life! Escorting is no different. Part of that niche is the persona that should spark out in my opinion.

 

At the end of the day, clients will find the matching escorts and vice verse! And by match, I don't mean the "perfect" one but, at least, the "reasonable" one!

[Hollywood Thomson 553]

I think it depends, I have had an SP full on breakdown in front of me, tears and all as I was her first client and she had just divorced her husband, so that is not exactly something that turns you on and stuff, but there are definitely a few girls who text me asking me how my day is, chatting, telling me about what is going on in their outside life and I am totally fine with stuff like that.

 

Once you learn to be able to spot a girl who is working in public you get less interested in simply being intimate. Two nights ago spent close to three hours just hanging out after a session chatting and having an actual conversation about life and where she was and what she was planning on doing and to be honest it was more enjoyable than the service.

 

I like the conversation, to me it is just like dating.

[Phaedrus 209521]

Well... I'm assuming the original question was about interactions here and in other online venues...

 

I think it's great if people give some kind of indication of what sort of a person they are. Often (not always, but often) when I choose to see someone that I haven't seen before it's on the basis of some form of prior interaction online, which has made me think that we'll get on well in person. It's not an exact science, but my hit rate isn't bad. And as Cat said, I consider it somewhat useful for a SP/MA I've never met before to have some sort of an idea what kind of a person I am before arranging to meet, or not.

 

Having said that, this is very much an open forum. Much of it is completely open, and anyone who bothers to create an account can see most of the rest... and so I'd consider it wise for everyone to be at least somewhat cautious about what they reveal here, unless you're completely open about your CERB-related activities with pretty much everyone you meet. Like others, what I post here is... edited highlights, not the whole story.

[Fresh start 17467]

Myself I prefer that the person I'm with is honest it make a for a better time. When I say honest I mean they don't have to lie. For example if they enjoy something or not, doesn't it make it better if they are honest and tell you. If we start chatting I hope they are honest but hey I don't know I'm no mind reader. Being honest doesn't mean they have to disclose everything. If there uncomfortable or don't want to talk or do something just say so it won't hurt my feelings, I'm terrible at reading people so I prefer honesty. I can see thought some who prefer it the other way around. Like Cleo Catra said some client might not want to hear her problem, they just want to escape reality into their own fantasy. That totally in the hands of a provider, personal I would be more than happy to listen and offer my advice, but that just me.

 

When it come to their ads I would hope what they say is honestly a reflection of themselves. Same goes for how the portray themselves but that a two way street, as a client I should be honest if the lady has questions for me. If a subject become to personal and feel like I don't want to talk about I'd just say it, what would be the point of lying.

[Sweet Emily J 172062]

 

Having said that, this is very much an open forum. Much of it is completely open, and anyone who bothers to create an account can see most of the rest... and so I'd consider it wise for everyone to be at least somewhat cautious about what they reveal here, unless you're completely open about your CERB-related activities with pretty much everyone you meet.

 

Just for the record, everything on CERB is now open to everyone, which includes all non-members. You do not need an account to see anything here. :) Account is only necessary to post. Profiles and albums can be hidden by users themselves, but all threads and posts are visible to everyone with an internet connection.

[Meaghan McLeod 179664]

I feel that there is a core of information that we share about ourselves. Both online and with our clients. Yes, I give truthful information about where I grew up, where I have lived, where my home base is. Also some information about my personal life. However, there is some information I will not divulge except to those that I have seen for a long time and I feel I can trust them. I had a longtime client that asked me for my real name. Something was off, and I told him my "other" working name. Sure enough, he contacted me once and called me by my "other name", which really creeped me out. What would have happened if I gave him my real name? Of course, that ended our relationship as I felt he had overstepped my boundaries. Maybe I overreacted, but I felt that he had taken something I told him in confidence and abused it.

 

So, yes, honesty is very important, but you still have to protect yourself and be aware of what information you divulge and to who.

[smitty_McFlung 290]

I follow the posts of the ladies I would like to see, just so I get a feel of their personality and intelleigence. I try to find out as much about them as possible. It is my time and I don't want to waste mine or the awesome ladies that put up with us guys and provide an awesome service! So, yeah..please be honest and be you. When I talk to you wether it be PM or a response to a thread, this is me, not a fake personality.

[IamaGeek 3664]

I think Phaedrus used the phrase 'edited highlights' when describing what he revealed about himself on CERB. That is, of course, what we all do. I believe it is what we do every day in all of our dealings with other people too. I suppose that I might slightly emphasize or play down certain aspects of my personality with one group and then do the same for other aspects with other groups. I am not ever false, but society needs some sort of lubrication to work and I see courtesy and friendliness as that lubricant. It's only when you deal with real a**holes that the whole machine seizes up and breaks down.

 

I consciously try to remain my unaffected self as much as possible when I deal with everyone, including SPs. It is too much trouble to do otherwise and can lead to too many problems if you don't.

 

Speaking of lubricant . . . Oh, wrong thread.

[Guest S****r]

My entry today in My Secret Diary discusses this very issue. Rather than repeat myself here, I invite you to read it at http://sensuoussummer.com/My_Secret_Diary.php

[cgnex 1616]

Honesty is generally appreciated. Getting to know someone on a personal level is pretty important to deepen my attraction. Intelligence, humour, kindness are just some of the very attractive qualities that can be revealed to heighten a connection.

 

Drama and negativity should not be shared and are certainly turnoffs.

[castle 38816]

I don't think total honesty is really required in this hobby/biz. After seeing some SP's several times sometimes personal stuff will come out after trust has been established....I think that's normal, and perfectly acceptable.....depending on the client and the level of mutual trust that has been built

 

 

It's happened to me a couple occasions that SP's have voluntarily divulged very personal information to me after a trust has been established, and that's perfectly ok.....actually it's kind of flattering to be trusted that much by an SP. And it ads to the intimacy. But it's not a requirement to a good session.

 

 

Long story short, total honesty isn't bad per se......but for me personally, it's not necessary. If a lady wants to open up to me I'll be more than happy to hear her out...but it's not something I expect. And depending on the client, being too honest may in fact be a bad thing and could even be potentially dangerous.

 

 

As for the amount of honesty you want to divulge on cerb, I don't think anything I read could possibly turn me off, unless like Brad says, it reveals the person to be a total schmuck lol. But Emily J raises a very good point that pretty much anybody with an internet connection can read what's on here. Something to consider.

 

 

Like Cleo said, everything we initially need to know is included in the ads and recommendations, the rest we can find out when we meet her....and by the rest I mean the lady's personality, intelligence, and sexual preferences. At the end of the day that is really all we need to know about her.

[Guest *Ste***cque**]

I'm normally not a one or two sentence poster so my earlier comment may have come across as glib.

 

To give my full 2 cents worth, I think honesty is always a virtue and we should always try and be honest where it can be useful. The most important aspect of honesty is to be honest with yourself. If you aren't honest with who you really are others may notice that you don't seem comfortable in your own skin, so to say. That may have an impact in your interactions on the street and on these boards.

 

My earlier comment was in specific reference to The Game, as Mr. Green called it. I realize that in this industry there is bait and switch, fake names and pics, "girlfriend" experience, etc. Cerb has a better reputation than other boards but still this business is based on fantasy, not reality. In that context, honesty doesn't come in to play for me. Decency and compassion are more important during my searches than whether an SP is being honest with me. I'm hopeful that she won't be! I get enough of that in the real world!

 

Steve

[roamingguy 300291]

Honesty is always good. But everyone, SP's and clients alike, are entitled to have part of their life to keep to themselves. Not being 100% open isn't dishonest, but as long as what you share and who you chose to share it with is truthful and honest, and you are comfortable sharing it, that is good. For example, on this board I'm comfortable being known by my board handle. But ladies that I see I'm more comfortable revealing personal information such as real name (for screening/verification) And as the lady and I get to know one another through encounters, well in our conversations we both open up even more as our comfort levels allow. And in all cases I'm honest.

And if a lady finds a gentleman who opens up with her, and a gentleman finds a lady who opens up with him, that means you have developed a special and trusting relationship (OMG the "R" word LOL). Respect the trust given to you, trust for most people isn't easily given, so be discrete, share with no one, and know that you have something more than a simple SP/Client relationship

A late morning rambling

RG

[mrgreen760 37785]

"I hope you find some better people than those you have apparently run into, you're definitely in a good place for that! *muah*"

 

I've met a lot of great people but perhaps I just take a more realistic view of the intrinsic nature of the relationship between a john/client and a prostitute/escort/companion is all.

 

Other than real/current photos and accurate description of services offered and yes I acknowledge ymmv is all any one can and perhaps should expect.

 

Peace

MG